Did women have long/"good" hair in your family except you?

[CourtneyD]

I'd like to hear from women where everyone else in their family has/had long hair or so-called "good hair" but you didn't. Maybe LHCF changed all that for you, and if so, yippee!!!, but what was it like growing up? Were you teased? Were you embarrassed? Did you hate your hair? How do you feel today? If you are fair-skinned, Indian, mixed, etc. and people assumed that you were supposed to have "good hair" but you didn't, what was that like?

I hated my hair and I just couldn't grow it, so I mostly just stayed in wigs. No, no protective styles underneath, no special care, washing with whatever, nothing but a wig cap, letting stylists do whatever, etc., because I just didn't know how to care for it until LHCF. Girls, if I knew then what I know now... , sheesh my hair would be super healthy and down to my booty! But that's okay, 'cause I'm on my way!

So, since I've always hated my hair but now love caring for it, I'd love to hear from others who felt like I did.

Thanks! Love you all!

 

[lizzyb168]

The rest of my dad's side of the family have natural 'indian' hair, APL or longer. So i, along with my grandma were the only people who relaxed our hair.

Even though my hair grows fast and is soft, when i was younger i did think why couldnt i have the same kind of hair as the rest of my family.

But now,im transitioning and love my natural hair. Maybe because i know how to care for it better now.

 

[LadyRaider]

I had long hair as a child. Once I became an adult I did not know how to take care of my hair and my hair became short and broken off. My cousins, one with silky type 2 something hair, all still had pretty long hair.

When I talked to my cousin (not the type 2 one...) about not getting a relaxer again, she wasn't rude but you could tell that somehow she thought that *I* couldn't go without relaxing even though she could. My mom and therefore my genes are the same as theirs. (My mom had type 2 silky hair) But because I didn't know how to take care of my hair they now assume my hair isn't the same amount of "good" theirs is. I think it is, but I'll have to prove it.

I have occasionally mentioned things from this site, and like I said, the both get all quiet because obviously they think my hair is nothing like theirs.

Now I used the term "good" in the post. But in no way do I judge hair by those terms. I don't know my hair type except I know it's not silky like my moms. But my hair type is good because all healthy hair is good.


So yes. I'm in the position of not having the "good hair" as an adult. I don't really have major issues I guess because those sorts of feelings are set as a child and I didn't have the issue when my mom was taking care of my hair. My older cousin Tracy, who didn't have the family's "good hair" as a child used to sing me songs about a "princess with my name that had long hair." I still feel like that princess, damnitt!

 

[Hairsnob]

My sister (same mother and father) has long wavy "good hair" or Indian hair I should say. My mother's hair grows long but it's not what we consider "good hair" but she keeps it short now. My grandmother was mixed with Indian (as most of us say) but I remember her always wearing her hair in a really long braid going down her back that had to at least touch her butt.

So I guess that gene missed me (SIGH). But at least I know I have the potential. I never had what you'd consider long hair as a child, basically just enough to get some teeny afro puffs. But as a teen and relaxing I never made it past SL. LHCF has made me see I can reach past that so it doesn't bother me.

 

[CourtneyD]

My sisters with long hair get quiet when I talk about this website and the things I'm doing to my hair. It "feels" like they don't want my hair to grow like theirs. I hope that's not it.

 

[Eritreladiee]

Many members of my family have what we refer to as "soft" hair and I don't-- even though by other people's standards I had "good"/long hair. So it's kinda weird. My fam still makes fun of my hair-- they refer to it as a mop, a sponge (like those SOS ones ) call me rasta, tell me to straighten my hair/not to show up looking homeless (yeah my hair is homeless ) For the most part it's funny to me-- I love my hair. But of course there were some comments that were hurtful (eg. my dad telling me I don't need to wear a hijab because I don't have nice hair )

 

[LongHairNWaiting]

My answer is "NO". I have had the "longest" and thickest hair of all of my sisters. As I reached my 40's I began to cut my hair off; and so did they. I was always told that women over their 40's don't look good with long hair -- but now I beg to differ. I am growing my hair back longer and stronger than ever!

From here on out, I plan to keep my hair...ALL OF IT!..lol

HHG Ladies

 

[LadyRaider]

My sisters with long hair get quiet when I talk about this website and the things I'm doing to my hair. It "feels" like they don't want my hair to grow like theirs. I hope that's not it.

I bet it's more that they (like my cousins) think you are wasting your time and it's a hopeless venture because you just don't have "it." Which I guess is almost as bad as them not wanting your hair to grow.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

My mom and my sister never had to get relaxer, they both had 2-ish very long hair.

Thankfully, my mom never relaxed my hair, but she straightened it, and that, I believe kept me from ever achieving hair past shoulder length as a child. I decided to relax on my own as an adult--straightening was too tedious, and relaxers seemed easier to me.

I can tell by my younger pics that my mom was clueless as to what to do with 4a hair. Poor momma

 

[ceebee3]

I never really thought about hair as a kid but my hair was APL until I was 13. My grandmother, mother, and my aunts all had hair from type 2-4 and they were all mid back until they cut.

Growing up we never used the term "good" hair, I just always knew my hair was good because it was just my hair.

My family never really differentiated between texture as long as it was natural it was good. My father always told me that my nappy hair was beautiful and so did my mother so I never had a complex about it.

I loved my naps then and I love them now.

I don't discuss my hair with my family because I relaxed and they've never had relaxers it's really taboo for them.

 

[LadyRaider]

I have pictures from the last family reunion with my hair looking all crazy and broke and my cousins all looking cute. I can't wait till this summer the the next family reunion. I'm going to wear a braid out or twist out some of the time, at least. All of them are either relaxed or straightened, or naturally straight. I'm gonna wear my RASTA, homeless hair proudly.

Many members of my family have what we refer to as "soft" hair and I don't-- even though by other people's standards I had "good"/long hair. So it's kinda weird. My fam still makes fun of my hair-- they refer to it as a mop, a sponge (like those SOS ones ) call me rasta, tell me to straighten my hair/not to show up looking homeless (yeah my hair is homeless ) For the most part it's funny to me-- I love my hair. But of course there were some comments that were hurtful (eg. my dad telling me I don't need to wear a hijab because I don't have nice hair )

 

[carib_n_curly]

not quite. i have two older sisters
one has looser hair texture (silky 3b) i'm 3c/3b/4a and the other has tighter coils (highly textured 4a /3c)

some times people compared us and would be like "she has the best hair; then you (me) and then her"
my sister with the tightest texture didn't care for her hair either so it was the shortest as well she was APL but it broke off to SL, i was BSL and my other sister was WL

it always broke my heart when people did that. why did they have to put down my sisters' hair texture because it she didn't have as loose curl as me and my sister.
my sister with 3b texture was 1st, i was 2nd then my other sister was 3rd. to think adults done this. i'm glad my sister doesn't have a complex about her tight curls.

during my early teens i did everything to hide my texture to avoid being compared with my sister and people insisting i was lying about my race.

i didn't realise the extent i took hiding my texture until one day i bumped into a old school friend and my hair was in a curly pony tail and she was like " omg carib are you wearing a weave? is that actually your hair" i was like " umm yeah. no weave" then she said "i thought you had afro hairerplexed" " well i do but if i didn't comb out the curls like i did back in school so it looks like this".
i'm glad i don't give a ratts a$$ about what people think any more

 

[blackindia07]

I had long hair as a child. Once I became an adult I did not know how to take care of my hair and my hair became short and broken off. My cousins, one with silky type 2 something hair, all still had pretty long hair.

OMG! Could you be a relative of mine!?!?!? LOL Yup thats exactly what happened with me. I am one of 9 granddaughters...growing up we ALL had long hair. But my cousins had silky type hair where mine and my sister was more like a 3/c 4/a. And to add insult to injury I was the darkest one! (and I mean that only as far as making me feel "different") As we got older my cousins hair got longer (about hip length) and my sisters staightened out and by her late teens was mbl and beautiful. But mine....oh lord... I didnt know how to take care of it and it got worse and worse up until the last 2 years or so. Now everyone in the fam is asking me what Im doing. (especially my aunts on my fathers side because female pattern baldness runs on his side and all that nice silky hair is gone.)

 

[biancaelyse]

Many members of my family have what we refer to as "soft" hair and I don't-- even though by other people's standards I had "good"/long hair. So it's kinda weird. My fam still makes fun of my hair-- they refer to it as a mop, a sponge (like those SOS ones ) call me rasta, tell me to straighten my hair/not to show up looking homeless (yeah my hair is homeless ) For the most part it's funny to me-- I love my hair. But of course there were some comments that were hurtful (eg. my dad telling me I don't need to wear a hijab because I don't have nice hair )

this is my family on my Mom's side. They had very silky type 2 hair and my hair is much kinkier than theirs. they would put me through the pencil test and make fun because the pencil didn't fall out of my hair .

I love my hair though!!

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I love my hair. But of course there were some comments that were hurtful (eg. my dad telling me I don't need to wear a hijab because I don't have nice hair )

My dad didn't outright tell me I didn't have nice hair, but he'd make comments to my sister "Give me some of that pretty hair!" He never said it to me, and that did hurt.

 

[Eritreladiee]

this is my family on my Mom's side. They had very silky type 2 hair and my hair is much kinkier than theirs. they would but me through the pencil test and make fun because the pencil didn't fall out of my hair .

I love my hair though!!

lmao @ pencil test!

and yeah, it's my mom's side too. Since I'm not really close to my dad's side, it could be a bit much

 

[30something]

My sisters with long hair get quiet when I talk about this website and the things I'm doing to my hair. It "feels" like they don't want my hair to grow like theirs. I hope that's not it.

I hope thats not it either
Maybe they think your getting a "false sense of hope"
Thats the vibe I been getting

 

[AvaSpeaks]

When I was a child, I had my dad's side of the family. And of course, my mom's side and her mother's side basically would call it "bad hair".

Then I went through the typical situations of getting my hair pressed and then eventually the relaxers.

When I became 21, I did the big chop and went natural. After all of my hair grew out completely after the big chop, my hair was a completely new texture.

Now years later, my hair is the EXACT way as my mother's family. Extremely fine, wavy and of course, no need for a relaxer or a texlaxer. Years before my grandmother passed, she used to tell me that I finally now had "good hair".

So that's my hair story. Genetics is a funny thing huh? And you know what, I most likely always had my mother's side of the family hair, but if they would had waited into my teen years, that texture of hair would had started to grow in then. Because it was starting to change in high school. But my mom died when I was 14 and my hair care became the property of my hair dresser so I continure with the relaxers. But even she started to notice a change from when I was 13 to when I was say 17. My new growth was starting to be a totally different texture than it was as a child. And it seemed like the more years that went by the finer and straighter it got.

I wish I knew then what I knew now. At least at the beginning of college. Would had save me ALOT of money

 

[ms.blue]

In my family, they considered my brother having the good hair. He has type 3c curls, that my mother loves even his barber commented to me that why my brother has good hair and why my sister and I don't. I really don't care b/c he doesn't even do anything w/ his so called "good hair" anyways. All he does is wet it and put either a du-rag on or his fitted cap so no one noticed his "good hair". Good hair is healthy hair imho.

 

[LadyRaider]

I am kind of a nerdy girl. In college, I remember a girl telling me, "You have beautiful hair. But you're going to lose it because you abuse it."

I wish I'd have stopped and asked her how I could stop abusing it. Because I was clueless. At the time it didn't even phase me. If it wasn't in a book...

 

[Avaya]

Nope! Most of us have long, "good" hair but in my family, good hair is long, thick hair. Thankful wasn't raised with the hair texture/skin color issues (at least that nonsense didn't come from within my home; now ninja's outside the family on the other hand...).

 

[CourtneyD]

It's sad that we've had some of these experiences growing up. Teaches us that we need to tell our kids that their hair is beautiful, no matter what!

 

[Ms Kain]

My sisters with long hair get quiet when I talk about this website and the things I'm doing to my hair. It "feels" like they don't want my hair to grow like theirs. I hope that's not it.

Woooowwww, I hope that's not the case either.

Maybe they don't think it's going to work and they don't know how to tell you that. That's ok though - most people I've come across who I tell about this site look at me a bit strange. But now that my hair is coming along so well, they're starting to ask me about it instead of me mentioning it! So it all works out in the end!

 

[dyh080]

My sisters with long hair get quiet when I talk about this website and the things I'm doing to my hair. It "feels" like they don't want my hair to grow like theirs. I hope that's not it.

Courtney,
Unfortunately that may be true. Growing up I had a sister who had longer hair and she was terrified that my hair may get longer than her's. She even made fun of me having shorter hair.
I don't think she has changed much, either.

 

[Natirelle]

Growing up I had to face the goodhair v.s badhair, and the lightskin v.s Darkskin b.s.

But I know my mother didnt know how to take care of my hair, or any of my 2 sisters heads either. From the skinny rat-tail combs, to pink lotion, burning head with blow dryers, and ruff handling.

My older sister and baby sister both got relaxers at the age of 5, and I got mines at 8. My older sister had dense 4a hair, my little sister had 3b-3c hair, and I belive I have 3c-4a hair.

My hair was always compared to my baby sis, It was always to kinky, thick, dry, and dirty. My baby sis was told completely opposite and was praised !

As long as I know how to take care of my so called bad hair thats what counts, because good hair is healthy hair, IMO !!

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

When I was a kid, I didn't have this problem. My hair was long, thick and healthy, just like my mother's and sisters'.

But during adolescence, I messed it up, and ended up with really short, broken off, and horrible-looking hair. And that was hard, because my relatives were always bothering me about how I ruined my hair. And whenever I saw people who hadn't seen me in a while, the first thing they'd say was, "What happened to your hair?" And then there'd be all this head-shaking and speeches about how I should let my hair grow back because without it, I didn't fit into my family.

My sisters used to torment me about it too. I'd be watching BET with my older one and she'd make all these snide remarks about how men only liked girls with long hair, and that's why all the video girls had long, flowing weaves. And there was a kind of competition among us to see whose hair was longest...we called it Hair War. I never got to play in Hair War because I basically didn't have an army. At school, them devil kids gave me no rest about how short and gross my hair was. I actually don't have any pictures from my middle school years (except for my graduation pics), because I would pull some Matrix type ish and disappear when I saw a camera. Writing it now, it sounds trivial, but my self-esteem really took a hit in those years. I always felt really ugly and embarrassed about my hair, unless I had some fake hair in. And people just never let it rest...every day, someone reminded me that I used to be beautiful.

But since my hair has been growing in, I've noticed mixed reactions. My mom is proud that I'm taking care of my hair, and she compliments me and takes my hair advice now. She doesn't understand my practices, so at first, she was making fun of me for baggying and buying a BSS's worth of conditioner. But now that there are actual results, she's adjusted her attitude.

My aunt is my closest relative...she doesn't even notice that my hair has grown. I love her alot, but she still gives me speeches about how I ruined my hair. I'm sure I'll get them even when I reach HL. I'll have to have floor length hair before she notices.

My sisters are...weird about it. My youngest is struggling alot with hers, but she won't take my advice. She acknowledges that my hair is doing well, but she just wants me to do her hair for her and doesn't want to do it on her own. I'm going to start doing that this summer, because I notice that people bother her because of her hair too, and I don't want her to feel bad about herself. I can't now because I'm away at school for most of the time.

My younger sister doesn't care what my hair is doing, because her's is still a bit longer. And my older sister was pretty bad in the beginning. Always making fun of what I do and stuff. But since my hair is finally longer than hers, she's gotten real quiet as of late. She still makes snide remarks sometimes, but her heart is clearly not in it anymore.

And I don't know what other folks who used to make fun of my hair would say now. I can still see many of them (our families run in the same circles), but whenever they are going to be somewhere, I don't go there. I'm still really bitter, and only God knows what I would say to them, so I just try to stay away. Plus, I don't have enough hair to slap them in the face with it yet.

Anyway, I feel better about my hair now. I feel like there are still lots of things wrong with it, but I still love it and I know it will get better. Shoot, all the time I spend with it, I better love it.

Sorry for the novel!

 

[lala]

I'm an only girl with a Mom who has silky/wavy hair. I also have 5 aunts with the same hair type or silkier. They don't have to straighten/relax so my hair was always viewed with disdain . I was sent to a salon every Saturday because my Mom refused to do my hair and she didn't even try.

I've always had long hair but my natural hair is both kinky/frizzy/wavy. So, I was always told that I didn't have good hair like my aunts/cousins. They could never call me bald-headed though because I was right with them on the length. It used to bother me when I was in elementary school, but now I could care less about not having so-called "good" hair.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Nope, I've always had the longest hair of everybody in my family. But i'm attempting to transition to natural so I may have to give up my title for a while.

 

[motherpopcorn562]

Everybody in my family has better hair than me.... but I believe its because of my primary location... Their in Louisiana while Im in Cali so diff. styling options, water and expectations. I couldn't find a good wet set out here..I'm the nappiest but the happiest lol

 

[Mrs. N Lugo]

Yep, but I didn't. My hair was always shoulder length as a child. My mom's hair was past her butt when she was little and my grandma on my dads side hair was to her knee's.

All my cousins had very long hair and they would make fun of me. It was so hurtful. My braids didn't look as neat as theirs. My edges didn't lay down as slick as theirs. The only time I liked my hair was when my grandma pressed it.