"I thought every black girl's hair was fake.."

[Keen]

I realized long ago on my hair journey that many (maybe most) people would assume my hair is fake (I got especially got this comment a lot when my hair was relaxed). But I had to realize that this in no way affected my hair goals or my personal enjoyment of my hair. And in the end that's all that really mattered to me.

I don't have to prove anything else. And some people will be non-believers no matter what evidence there is to the contrary. People often reject evidence that does not fall in with their predetermined conclusions.

The sad thing is even people who knew us (my twin sister and I) way before we were into hair care are saying that our hair is long because we got good hair. Our hair were never long. We have unrully type 4z hair which is naturally dry and unmanageable. Now that we take care of our hair she is BSL and I'm almost BSL. The same folks who knew us way before our hair could barely touch our neck just won't buy into the idea that black hair can grow long when it is taken care of.

So why wouldn't other nations have stereotyes. We have enough ourself.

 

[Glamiam]

I agree with you on this one..but the men that I work with ARE the type that wear mascara if you get what i mean lol

But this post was just a vent..no need for all the hard feelings guys!!!

I wore weave a very long time ago. It was thick, and some guys didn't know the difference. That was until my weave addiction grew, and my weave got long, curly and completely messy and unrealistic.

I learned over time, that my own hair is 100x prettier than weave could ever be. That's because it's a product of time, hard work, and loving care.

I think too many black women weave these god awful looking weaves that make people believe that they and by extension black women can't grow their hair. It doesn't help that many BW have over processed hair that barely comes to their nape. Can you blame a couple of ignorant men that barely understand what mascara is, the mechanics of black hair?

To them, I would've said, it's real. See, no tracks. Then smile and walk on.

 

[sj73]

Well, I'm not really a fan of weaves, but only because most of the black women in my daily life that wear them are wearing them because they have no desire to take care of their natural hair underneath. I really don't consider it a protective style either because I have seen the results (hairlines) of those that wear them nonstop.

I know that we have some knowledgeable sisters on this forum that know how to care for their hair while wearing a weave, but in my daily life, the weave-wearers have the worse looking hair underneath I've seen. There is a lady at work and I'm not joking when I say her hair underneath is SCARY. She will go one day from a bad long wavy weave one day and the next week, she is back to her hair that looks like a family of rodents chewed on it. Keep in mind that she and I are the only sisters in our department. I just wish most of us would actually care about our hair and wear weaves only for different looks, not for hiding our neglect (sigh).

 

[Solitude]

The statement they made would not have bothered me. Because so many black women talk freely about their weaves, extensions, and wigs. Comedians constantly joke about it. Black women on tv discuss it i.e. several black women in reality shows and talk shows I have seen. So it's really no wonder that other races would get the impression that we all wear fake hair. And it's no wonder people believe we can't grow long hair. Because if you are wearing fake hair most people would believe it's because you don't have any hair of your own even though this may not be true it's a logical assumption that many people make.

It's not Chris Rock's fault at all. People were believing this long before CR's documentary. I blame all those women who try so hard to "keep it real" by openly discussing every thing about themselves. And I blame black people for being so ashamed of our own hair. We do everything in our power to hide it and change it.

The statements your co-workers made are no more ignorant than some of the same beliefs blacks hold about our own hair.

This is so sad, but so true.

 

[ThickHair]

I am just tired of seeing jacked up hair period, weave\wig\extensions or no weave\wigs\extensions.

I don't wear them, never have, never will.

 

[CandyCurls]

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[theAlist]

my response "I think all Hispanic and Asian men have small penises...is that true?" Then look at them and say "Yea it's stupid to believe stereotypes, huh?"

Ok no not really, but I damn sure would be thinking this

 

[weaveadiva]

my response "I think all Hispanic and Asian men have small penises...is that true?" Then look at them and say "Yea it's stupid to believe stereotypes, huh?"

Ok no not really, but I damn sure would be thinking this

So everyday for the next 2 weeks, she went on and on about how exited she was to get this weave. "Ok, everybody, 13 days until I get my weave!" Next day: "Don't forget y'all, I'm gettin' my weave in 12 days!" She had all the white kids just eating it up. She even had the teacher laughing. It came to the point where the other kids would bring it up before her. "Hey E________e, nine more days, right?" It was so embarrassing. I felt like even though she was just one of four black girls in the class, she was speaking for all of us. Those white kids probably thought a black girl getting a weave was like a gift from God.

so...how did the weave turn out?

 

[lushcoils]

Oh my bad I work and go to class with primarily white people and my hair is ever changing. They are always asking what did I do to my hair and I answer honestly. I think it's fun to keep them on their toes. Besides, if you are SL one day and MBL the next, they know what's up so what's the point of lying and getting indignant about it? If it's that serious, just rock your natural hair.

Same here. I answer honestly about my wigs, braids, and when it's my own hair. I don't see what wrong with that like I should be ashamed to tell yts that I'm wearing fake hair. I didn't know there was rule against that.

Whatever. I'll be wearing fake hair until I get the length I desire WHILE taking care of my hair underneath. If I'm contributing to the negative stereotypes of BW for now, oh well. In the long run, I'll be helping to improve.

 

[kandake]

This type of thing doesn't bother me. I'm currently neck length and growing my hair out to about APL. APL isn't common IRL for black women so I assume that people of other races may assume that it's a weave. Their assumptions about my hair (black women's hair in general) doesn't impact my life. As JNSQ put it "who cares"

As for revealing the secret of weave/wigs I find that laughable. If you're comfortable with your fake hair and you express that, people think you're telling all the secrets. If you don't say anything people accuse you of pretending that it's yours. You can't win. For me, I'm comfortable enough with myself and my halfwig to correct someone when they think it's my hair. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's not a big deal to me or something worthy of keeping secret.

 

[CandyCurls]

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[Rei]

In my experience most of other races who I am friends with don't really care that much, but when they're curious they just figure that we're all ashamed of our hair anyway. Usually the questions go like this "how come a lot of black girls have short hair", then when I indicate usually incorrect relaxer techniques and a lot of misinformation, they ask "why do they bother straightening their hair anyway"

This question always amuses me since its like 'c'mon son you know of how people are in society, and the beauty standards in america', not to mention the fact that its unfair to those who just want to have a different style choice :/ but thats the usual response I get.

 

[lushcoils]

In my experience most of other races who I am friends with don't really care that much, but when they're curious they just figure that we're all ashamed of our hair anyway. Usually the questions go like this "how come a lot of black girls have short hair", then when I indicate usually incorrect relaxer techniques and a lot of misinformation, they ask "why do they bother straightening their hair anyway"

This question always amuses me since its like 'c'mon son you know of how people are in society, and the beauty standards in america', not to mention the fact that its unfair to those who just want to have a different style choice :/ but thats the usual response I get.

If they're yt, do you ask them why they all get tans, dye their hair blonde, or starve themselves to be skinny?

 

[Glamiam]

If they're yt, do you ask them why they all get tans, dye their hair blonde, or starve themselves to be skinny?

Your avatar just reminded me, Rudy's hair was soooo thick and longg..scrumptious

 

[Barbara]

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are people suppose to believe?

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. They know we aren't mixed with anything.

Years ago my stylist said: "The majority of African American women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't. That's because they were never taught properly."

Some are just hair obsessed, and they feel that growing hair out to significant lengths is a mystery. Most African American women don't have long hair, and they find it hard to believe if a woman has long hair, then she has to be mixed with something.

 

[Glamiam]

To clear things up, what they said is not "impacting my life" in anyway,so please lets not go there because im not loosing sleep over it at all. I feel like this post offended the weave wearers on this board for some reason. That wasn't my intention.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

What's more offensive: those two guys saying it or blacks doing it? For some reason, blacks have a real problem discussing or changing dilemmas in our community; hence, the "airing dirty laundry" crapfest plaguing us on so many things.

Yet, when another group brings up the very same issue, everyone's (well, almost everyone) gets huffy and indignant.

 

[Irresistible]

To clear things up, what they said is not "impacting my life" in anyway,so please lets not go there because im not loosing sleep over it at all. I feel like this post offended the weave wearers on this board for some reason. That wasn't my intention.

Fair question

if you wore a weave would you be offended by this thread?

The thing is there are many , like someone said , who do wear weaves/fake hair both as a protective style and as a change up in style....I've done it, still would if I could No lie, I want change from my pony tail without the work. Can't do nothing but respect the fact that you did say it wasnt your intention

I don't know I weave checked myself on cam.....I guess we can call this new 'Hair paranoia and Hair Hate/division and Hair venting' and there is ALWAYS some type (no pun intended) of it going on, the CHRIS ROCK SYNDROME....but then I think many were already feeling the 'backlash' of that movie ..... as far as what it would do to us the moment the movie hit the theaters

so here it is

I haven't logged in here in a while....
but.....
yeah and I am trippin too that somehow no matter what we do we get the blame, weaves were not going to stay a secret and a man can feel tracks......juss saying...someone said how would a man know?

Black women put to much on ourselves and each other methinkserplexed

 

[nappystorm]

To clear things up, what they said is not "impacting my life" in anyway,so please lets not go there because im not loosing sleep over it at all. I feel like this post offended the weave wearers on this board for some reason. That wasn't my intention.

Didn't offend me. I'm surprised that people are upset when a black woman admits to wearing a weave Hell, it's the truth

 

[kandake]

To clear things up, what they said is not "impacting my life" in anyway,so please lets not go there because im not loosing sleep over it at all. I feel like this post offended the weave wearers on this board for some reason. That wasn't my intention.

I'm not offended and I never thought that was your intention.

But, I think their comments are impacting your life. You felt some kind of way by the comments and you're using that as motivation to grow your own hair and prove people wrong. It's all good though.

 

[lushcoils]

Your avatar just reminded me, Rudy's hair was soooo thick and longg..scrumptious

Yes, Rudy is one my hair idols. Sometimes I watch the Cosby show just to see her hair.

 

[Rei]

If they're yt, do you ask them why they all get tans, dye their hair blonde, or starve themselves to be skinny?

lol, that would've had more of an effect if the ones asking did any of those things. or if black folk didn't do all those things too, lol. Nah I usually just say that I'm not a representative of all black women. the usual 'we're not a monolith' thing and all that. besides believe it or not, a lot of non-black folk have no idea why black women straighten their hair. As far as they know we're the only race who a vast majority alter their texture, and so they get that sort of message

disclaimer: for the record i'm not saying anything about straightening, lol don't get me wrong, i am fine with it as a style choice. I'm just saying with things the way they are it is unsurprising that ignorant things are being said, especially when people are afraid to ask. Hell on a forum I was on the other day this one Indian woman mentioned how 'black women are obsessed with putting our hair on their heads'. I have nothing against weave but that sort of made me feel some type of way. (Their source? 'Good Hair', ...)

 

[frida1980]

I agree with you on this one..but the men that I work with ARE the type that wear mascara if you get what i mean lol

But this post was just a vent..no need for all the hard feelings guys!!!

Oh! Those type of men. Yeah, they would know a thing or two about black hair, wouldn't they?

Still there's a grain of truth in their logic. The majority of black women over process their hair and use tracks to make it look longer. Looks like these are just goes in on our "secret."

The bigger secret is that there are so many women here that have trackless long hair.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

what the stank is going on in heyuurrrr???

 

[Aireen]

We can all thank Chris Rock for enforcing this belief further. For my satisfaction, I will NEVER spend money to buy that bias junk on DVD. To the people that won't believe that my future waist length hair is real, they can go on being ignorant and believing whatever mess their minds conjure up.

 

[Afrobuttafly]

I love how ppl are blaming Chris Rock for something that was prevalent for what seems like eons b4 his film was even in production...
That was not the intent of his film. He explained why he made it...and the "research" he did resulted in factual findings.
Pointing fingers never solves problems anyway, only adds to the dysfunction.
I never thought weaves and the like were a secret to begin with, so that's why I'm confused.
By some of the responses you'd think the movie was entitled
Black women's darkest secrets revealed:
Weaves wigs and the sacred "chinese stores"

idk..maybe I'm just crazy. *Skips away*

 

[Irresistible]

I love how ppl are blaming Chris Rock for something that was prevalent for what seems like eons b4 his film was even in production...
That was not the intent of his film. He explained why he made it...and the "research" he did resulted in factual findings.
Pointing fingers never solves problems anyway, only adds to the dysfunction.
I never thought weaves and the like were a secret to begin with, so that's why I'm confused.
By some of the responses you'd think the movie was entitled
Black women's darkest secrets revealed:
Weaves wigs and the sacred "chinese stores"

idk..maybe I'm just crazy. *Skips away*

OK that was funny

But yeah , I didn't see the movie, but the movie did take it to a whole other level , clearly because it reached new audiences. Prevelant and a whole movie claiming to be the 'whole truth' about us are totally different things. From what I understand he didn't really answer the question. But yeah when the whole world now feels freely with no recourse to now act like that movie was 'bible' about us and they were now 'privy' to knowing what we do with our hair across the board, as though its ALL we CAN do, speaking for black women as a whole, I would call it as ignorant as it truly is , like the ppl that will choose to believe it, it did not educate , not that weaves were ever a dark secret, but the tone of movie did seem to be all about what we do with our hair and what we feel about it , a movie can't speak for all of us, most of us understand that, but there are those that will believe it and do.....well even they will tell you they got the 411 on our hair from that movie, so not saying this without reason, I didn't need to see the movie, heard all about it here....gag.....we needed this like we needed a hole in our head. I do agree it was women doing a lot of the talking from what I understand in the movie......in that sense we ' so to speak' aired our laundry on the big screen, fed further into every person believing all of the hair on our heads are weaves. the movie was clearly coming from one perspective only, and it's going to make others feel what they feel, ppl are just frustrated I guess.

I do understand weaves are not a dark dirty secret
I do understand women getting offended when now while wearing only their own hair will be more openly and almost with permission (cause of the movie) accused of wearing a weave
I do understand that now when we speak about weaves negatively, because of the accusations such as was posted in the OP, that ladies that wear weaves will get offended

yeah we needed it like a hole in the head

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Who gives a shytt anymore? I am just so over this. If they won't date black women because of it that's their loss. Can you really blame them for thinking most black women wear weaves? If black women wear their natural texture that is not acceptable either, what does long hair really mean if it looks short unless it's permed? I'm sure that's not acceptable to them either. I don't know what the statistics say but maybe most black women do wear fake hair. So does nearly every last white woman in Hollywood but not for quite the same reasons. Then if you're black and do have truly long hair they'll ask if you're mixed. Kinky hair typically does not grow as long as straight hair and if you have to take ridiculous measures to grow it long maybe you should just accept that it's short and maybe always will be. Just like other features of out bodies, hair differs between races.

Hope that wasn't mean. I had an awful day today.

 

[PearlyCurly]

Didn't offend me. I'm surprised that people are upset when a black woman admits to wearing a weave Hell, it's the truth

me too, i didnt know it was bad to say if your wearing a weave or not??
And i knew when i came into this thread that somebody was going to blame it on Chris Rock! I truly do not believe non-black ppl didnt accuse every black women of wearing a weave before Chris Rocks movie, sorry but i cant! And i think its crazy to blame Chris Rock for that stereotype, thats like blaming McDonalds for making you fat! No one told you to eat that "Big Mac" And Chris Rock did not sew or glue that indian hair in your head & told you to wear it!

 

[MissYocairis]

seriously did i offend you in some way? Your upset that i am angry over the statement that was made, yet still your coming off a bit un easy. If its not that serious, why do you seem so offended and took the time out to write a story? Obviously this post was a vent.. so you responding in my vent post to tell me that i don't have anything better to worry about in life is supposed to make you seem like you do? your just as bad then

It's the join date. She's been a member since '06....you, July '10...which means she has seen this topic be discussed ad nauseum while it is new to you. There's a join date chasm! It always comes up in threads like these. Don't be offended. Just know that you too will one day be sick and tired of worrying what others think about your hair/regimen/dating preferences/politics/religion, as well.