Roll Call: Naturals who have Gone back to Relaxing

[SilverSurfer]

Naturals who have gone back to relaxing please chime in and tell your story. How long were you natural for?
Why did you decide to relax again?
How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again?
Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future?

 

[Kalia1]

Bumping the topic because I am interested in knowing as well

 

[ayoung]

I was natural 3 years. I relaxed last year and I am happy.
For me---going natural was personal and I wasn't making any statements--it was something I wanted to do with my hair.

As seasons change--so did my mind re: what I wanted to do with my hair.
Even when I was natural--I changed it alot----that has always been me.

I still enjoy my hair relaxed and where I am now is growing it out to BSL while relaxed.

I most likely will be natural again in my life---but I don't see it being any time soon.

 

[Whimsy]

How long were you natural for? i did a random BC and was fully natural a little over a year before i texlaxed again
Why did you decide to relax again? boredom really not sure just wanted a change again
How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again? i'm always fabulous
Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future? probably, i'm transitioning (as of august) but who know's if i'll stick with it or texlax again

 

[Katt73]

I was natural for almost 11 years (1995 - 2006) and wore locs for nine of those years. Honestly, I went natural thinking that I was making this huge political, race-conscious statement (i.e., I don't need to have long flowing hair to be beautiful) but, over the years, I came to see my hair as...well...just hair. After growing my locs to waistlength and cutting them to various lengths ranging from mid-back to shoulder length, I realized that I was kinda bored with my look. I wanted to remember what it felt like to comb my hair. I cut off m hair into a short fro and relaxed it into a cute pixie cut in March 2006 and haven't felt any regrets. Now, I'm aiming for SL in November 2007.

I am actually more pleased with my relaxed hair now than I was in my teens and early 20's. I now have the knowledge, time, and money to make sure that it stays healthy and good looking. And, as I wrote earlier, I realize that it's just hair. I'm just as black and proud with a relaxer as I was with locs.

 

[Evazhair]

I have been natural off and on all of my life. Previously, when I was natural, I wore a press and curl. Going on 3 years ago I relaxed after being natural for about 8-9 years.

I decided to relax again, for a few reasons. My hair was midback but with major shrinkage it looked a little below armpit length. My hair is very thick and bushy. It is hard to pull back. Nothing was strong enough to contain it. I could flat iron it and it would look like a relaxer, but if you spit within a mile of it, it would revert.That doesn't work in the DC Area. I got tired of twists/braids,1-3 afro puffs, twistouts/braidouts,big bushy hair, etc. I am not a little girl, so pigtails and barettes were not an option. I also was starting to feel these styles on me looked less feminine. I am a girly girl and I hated seeing so many dudes/butch women (no offense to them )with the same hairstyle as me. I decided to relax and use no direct heat instead of frying my natural hair to death with heat. I feel great about myself . I do not have that complex of defining myself by my hair texture. I actually mastered my natural texture, and if something happens I will go right back to it in a heartbeat. As a result, I don't stress too much about my hair. I focus on keeping it healthy, because it grows. This site has taught me so much, and I am still learning.

Later in life, I will probably go natural again.Who knows, it is always possible, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. I am lovin' the relaxed life. For the first time in my life I have healthy relaxed hair, and it is because of MY TLC.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Thanks for your replies ladies. Anyone else?

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I have been Natural off an on for over 4 years.

I went back to Relaxed because in a Twa for me for over a year was just boring, I need variety

As far as how I feel, I feel the same old way as I did when I was Relaxed, being Relaxed or Natural doesn't matter because I can't change my skin color, I still go through the same changes just by being a Black women in America, I am sure I will be natural again but just not now. For some it is just hair but for others it goes deeper. For me it was just hair! I make the Hair, The Hair don't make me.

 

[Katt73]

I could flat iron it and it would look like a relaxer, but if you spit within a mile of it, it would revert.

I don't know why this cracked me up, but it did...

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I got tired of twists/braids,1-3 afro puffs, twistouts/braidouts,big bushy hair, etc. I am not a little girl, so pigtails and barettes were not an option.

I feel the same way. I just did twists in my hair after having it straight for two weeks and I am not feeling it The hair style makes me seem much younger. Im thinking about relaxing for that very reason.

 

[AllAboutTheHair]

I was napptural for 8 years. It required more time than I had available. When I first went natural I was in school and at home, NO JOB...I tried it for two years after I started working and it was a nightmare, so I cut it last year and texlaxed this year, less time consuming
I will probably go natural again when the grey starts

 

[KiSseS03]

I just texlaxed my hair (wanted a TEXTURIZER) about three weeks ago, after 14 months fully natural. My last relaxer previous to this would have been two years ago from yesterday.

I relaxed because like most of you I was bored with my hair, and found it to be a huge time committment. I was wearing puffs almost every day, and for the past year I was in extensions about 60% of time. So although my hair retained a lot of length I had a lot of dryness issues in the end, and lots of single-strand knots which led to tangles.

Furthermore, I'm 21 and I think a lot of the styles that I wore made me look much younger and I am so ready to be grown and sexy right now!

I want to go natural again very soon, but I'm thinking about locing this time...

 

[dillard]

I was natural for 5 years and have been relaxed almost 1 yr now. I ended up natural because I went to the salon and saw a cute twa in a hair mag and i decided to go for it. i thought i would be relaxing it again in a few months but i ended up loving it so much i stayed natural. something about having my hair short and natural opened my eyes to my true self, my true beauty, i loved the feeling (plus at that time i had just started college and i was really getting to know myself anyway, it was just a great period in my life). but like many others said, eventually i got bored, felt like i looked like a kid, took too much time to style and maintain working full-time and other responsibilities my hair became a burden, plus because of shrinkage it always looked short, and because i had dyed it so much my texture was jacked up with straight pieces all over the place so i decided to relax again. the good things i felt after going natural have stayed with me even after i have relaxed, so i'm glad i did it and i will probably go back to it in a few years armed with more knowledge!!

ETA: I must say that one of the drawbacks to being relaxed again is that i seem to not attract men with locs anymore, and i love me some men with locs!!!

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

How long were you natural for? 6 months but it seemed longer because of my 18 month transition.
Why did you decide to relax again? I texlaxed because the day to day maintenance was too much. I was spending too much time doing my hair in the morning.
How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again? I feel great. I do miss my natural hair at times but have no regrets. I don't spend as much time doing my hair in the morning. I can now rollerset, flat iron, etc without worrying about my hair reverting. Things are so much more simpler now that I'm texlaxed.
Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future?
One day but not any time soon.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

How long were you natural for?

I was natural for 2+ years before I relaxed in October 2006.

Why did you decide to relax again?

I thought about it for about 6 months before I did it. I wanted more variety in how I wore my hair. All I used to do were puffs and twistouts. After a few years I was bored. Plus presses didn't work too well for me. Also I felt like I had learned so much about hair in the interim that I really knew how to care for my hair with a relaxer, so I gave it a try.

How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again?

I love my hair. I do not regret relaxing again, not one bit. In fact, whereas I was having problems retaining length as a natural, my hair has been growing and thriving with the relaxer. I also love being able to wash-n-go, which is my daily style. My shrinkage was a bit much to deal with as a natural.
Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future?

No time soon.

 

[Jazzy413]

This is a really good thread. Im not natural, but had been contemplating, and have been making the transition for the past 6 months, without the BC. Just in that short time though, I have really been feeling the pain in styling(business professional so has been hard to not look like Im 15!!), the amount of time(2 young boys so time, what is that!), and just the expense(again having 2 kids and trying to maintain my hair budget has been a task!)!!! I think I have just decided to texlax twice a year. I am loving how my texture is beginning to come out but as someone else said, I miss combing my hair!! Plus my husband, though he has been tolerant, loves to run his fingers thru my hair and it just has not been possible unless I straighten!! Overall, I think it just begins to take its toll, so I am glad to hear the other stories because it makes me feel like I am not just giving up in vain. My experience in this short time seems to reflect the stories here. Thanks ladies!!

 

[jtsupanova]

I am just going to echo what everyone else said. I was natural for about three years and I did a year long transition. when I first went natural it was difficult to get used to but i loved the journey. things were so easy with short natural hair I could wash and go with out problem and twist in like 2 hrs. but as the years went by and my hair got longer it became a pain. Single stand knots and split ends were practicaly unavoidable and athough I was retaining lenght my hair became increasingly unmanagable. i was a slave to scissors or protective styles. The only style that my hair liked was twist and by 3 yrs it took me half the day to wash my hair and the other half to twist it. on top of that the style only lasted a week so I was spending way to much time on my hair. So I decided to texturize and although the first process didn't come out well i have since done a corrective and now I am in love. I have a lot more freedom than I had with natural hair. I can do wng or wear my hair straight without worrying about shrinkage or reversion. I also don't have a single strand knots or split ends.
I will probably be texlaxed for a while but when I do go natural later on in life I am going to be alot more bold and BC to a twa and then start locs.

 

[lana]

Naturals who have gone back to relaxing please chime in and tell your story.

How long were you natural for? I was natural for six years. I originally went natural after suffering:breakage, slow growth, burns and damage from relaxers put on by professionals.

Why did you decide to relax again? I texlaxed after MANY months of thought and careful research. The reason for it was because I was straightening my hair with heat after every wash. It would take me about two hours just to blow dry and flatiron and I was ony shoulder length. My goal is MBL and I couldn't imagine spending twice as much time as my hair grew out.

How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again? I only wish that I had heard about texlaxing and paid attention earlier. If I had, I would have never even gone natural. I wasn't against chemicals to straighten or tame curly hair. I was against those stylist that were breaking, burning and damaging my locks. I'm soooo glad that I texlaxed, my hair is longer, stronger and healthier than it's EVER been in my life. I'm still working on length. I'm at three inches below collarbone length and counting.

Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future? No. There is no reason for me to ever go back natural at this point. I only texlax about 4 times a year so far. If I ever move to a hotter climate I will consider relaxing completely (instead of texlaxing) 4 times per year. The plus side about being natural is that I did learn what my real texture was like. I'm proud to say that my hair came straight outta Africa. I do everything myself and I no longer go to so called professionals for my haircare.

 

[Soliel185]

How long were you natural for?

I'd say about 18 months. Can't say for sure.

Why did you decide to relax again?

The whole time I was natural I wore individual braids w/o extensions so I never saw my hair. I redid them one by one so I could do it myself and save $ being a broke student at the time. Braids made it easy -- I'd WnG and get curly ends and then redo them while I watched TV or something. I relaxed b/c I was bored and needed a change. Things were happening in my life and it was a metamorphisis moment for me - I even took them out on new years LOL. Since I'd moved for school, no one in AZ had ever seen me with straight hair. It was a big change. Also - I'd pressed my hair with a flat iron braid by braid - when I saw how long it was I fell in But the first time I washed and I saw that fro I was intrigued, and then I tried to part it later and it completely laughed in my face, I realized I might have a problem. I felt like I was doing more damage to my hair than good b/c I was constantly fighting it, and between my job and school I didn't have the time. My braids made me look and feel young, once made me more painfully aware of the fact that I was at least 6 yrs younger than any of my co-workers, and that they had a hard time always taking me seriously.

How do you feel about your self and/or hair now that you are relaxed again?

I felt great then and I feel even better now! I had swinging healthy relaxed hair that I maintained mysel and LHCF has given me the knowledge and confidence to know that not only can I have relaxed hair - but I can have relaxed hair that GROWS. There were some setbacks ( b/c it had been YEARS since I'd had relaxed hair ) but I'm recovering nicely from them now. The dryness in AZ is great all through spring and summer b/c there's no humidity to wreck your style, but that first winter did some work on my poor nape. It even drove me to a salon for the first time in over 3 yrs, and the stylist drove me right back out again! I got it from here, thanks!


Do you think you will ever go back to being natural in the near future?[/quote]

Not in the near future. I've since joined LHCF and decided to set a relaxed and natural/texlaxed goal for myself. Once I reach my relaxed goal I'll either transition to natural or texlaxed so I can experience both. Just right now - I work out 4-5 times a week, I work full time, I like to go dancing and travel -- I don't have the time or patience to do my natural hair justice. I think that when I'm a bit older and settled down I'll be ready.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

This is an interesting thread ladies. I really thought about relaxing or texturizing this summer, but decided to hold out. Who knows what may happen next summer. We'll have to see. I'm bored with my hair too, but it's so much healthier than it has ever been. I had a healthy head of relaxed hair for years, but there's still a difference. I don't know...
I'm glad that all of you are happy with your experiences.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I am all up in this thread

It seems like the "younger" appearance is a reoccuring problem for naturals. I really needed this thread today...thanks to the OP.

 

[Evazhair]

I don't know why this cracked me up, but it did...

It is funny, but it was so frustrating at the time
ETA the only way it would stay totally straight was with the old fashioned hard press: grease, flame, old fashioned pressing comb!!! that was how I wore it as a child.

 

[sunshinelady]

Naturals who have gone back to relaxing please chime in and tell your story. I just relaxed on Friday, so my experience is really fresh. I've been thinking about it for a year, but I really just got tired of not being able to comb my hair. I felt like I was sinning against God by going back to relaxed, but that is what pushed me over the edge. I cut my relaxer out 7 years ago to stop being a slave to my hair and there I was again being a slave to my natural hair. I kept saying to the stylist, "I can't believe I am back on the creamy crack." I got it rollerset, but had to go back the next day because my hair frizzed up. She flatironed it straight. I feel fine, but we will see how I feel once I wash it. I haven't told a lot of people, so it must not be that big of a deal. I might go back natural one day. We'll see how I like it.



ETA: You know what does make me feel bad...I keep wondering if there was a way to get my hair straight with no reversion without the chemicals. I think that for me there is not, but I still wonder.


Also: I already feel more attached to my hair than I did before. Every time I lose a hair, I get a pang. I lost tons of hair when I was natural, but it didn't affect me like this. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Soliel185]

Naturals who have gone back to relaxing please chime in and tell your story. I just relaxed on Friday, so my experience is really fresh. I've been thinking about it for a year, but I really just got tired of not being able to comb my hair. I felt like I was sinning against God by going back to relaxed, but that is what pushed me over the edge. I cut my relaxer out 7 years ago to stop being a slave to my hair and there I was again being a slave to my natural hair. I kept saying to the stylist, "I can't believe I am back on the creamy crack." I got it rollerset, but had to go back the next day because my hair frizzed up. She flatironed it straight. I feel fine, but we will see how I feel once I wash it. I haven't told a lot of people, so it must not be that big of a deal. I might go back natural one day. We'll see how I like it.



ETA: You know what does make me feel bad...I keep wondering if there was a way to get my hair straight with no reversion without the chemicals. I think that for me there is not, but I still wonder.


Also: I already feel more attached to my hair than I did before. Every time I lose a hair, I get a pang. I lost tons of hair when I was natural, but it didn't affect me like this. Does anyone else feel this way?

I do. I think b/c we're conditioned to think that relaxed hair is inherently less healthy and weaker than natural hair - so you think that as soon as that relaxer touches your head it's all going to fall out. Everytime you see a hair it's like "it's the beginning of the end!" But we know from some of our relaxed long-haired ladies that that is simply not true.

 

[Amarech]

oooh I just couldnt resist

Going natural was the best thing I could have done.

1. It helped me to embrace and accept what grew out of my head.

2. It purged me of the "good hair" " bad hair" syndrome that so many of us suffered from

3. For me I think something spiritual happened as well. Not spiritual in the religious sense. More ethereal maybe. The best way I can describe it is the moment it happened. I was washing my hair in the shower. I had just cut off the last of my perm. My hair was quite long. I remember running my fingers through my coils and curls and thinking.."this is....me!"
I felt like I had come to some new level of self acceptance.

Before I went natural, my natural texture was something to chase away. It was bad and unwanted. After I went natural, my hair became more a part of me. When I finally decided to go back to perming, the choice had nothing to do with how I felt about my hair. I loved the natural styles, but unlike a lot of my friends who went natural, it was actually harder to take care of for me.

I've got a lot of hair (the reason why my current crisis is so hard for me) so dealing with it took more effort than I wanted to put out. Also, styles just didn't stay neat long enough to be practical. And while the natural styles appealed to my creative and afrocentric side, I realized that I didn't want to wear those styles all the time. Also i realized I really love long straight hair. I don't think curly, coily, kinky hair is bad, I just love the look of long straight hair. I felt I had come to the point where I could separate those two concepts and not get caught up into the "self hatred" trap. And I didn't.

Some days, (like recently) I miss my natural hair so much I ache. But then I think about all that comes along with it and the ache goes away. Plus my hair is growing very nicely and if I feel i really need to have natural styles I can still get most of them.

to each her own

 

[melodee]

I was natural for almost 11 years (1995 - 2006) and wore locs for nine of those years. Honestly, I went natural thinking that I was making this huge political, race-conscious statement (i.e., I don't need to have long flowing hair to be beautiful) but, over the years, I came to see my hair as...well...just hair. After growing my locs to waistlength and cutting them to various lengths ranging from mid-back to shoulder length, I realized that I was kinda bored with my look. I wanted to remember what it felt like to comb my hair. I cut off m hair into a short fro and relaxed it into a cute pixie cut in March 2006 and haven't felt any regrets. Now, I'm aiming for SL in November 2007.

I am actually more pleased with my relaxed hair now than I was in my teens and early 20's. I now have the knowledge, time, and money to make sure that it stays healthy and good looking. And, as I wrote earlier, I realize that it's just hair. I'm just as black and proud with a relaxer as I was with locs.

Cool statement and true. I am currently natural, but I was still just as much a sistah relaxed as I am now.

 

[melodee]

oooh I just couldnt resist

Going natural was the best thing I could have done.

1. It helped me to embrace and accept what grew out of my head.

2. It purged me of the "good hair" " bad hair" syndrome that so many of us suffered from

3. For me I think something spiritual happened as well. Not spiritual in the religious sense. More ethereal maybe. The best way I can describe it is the moment it happened. I was washing my hair in the shower. I had just cut off the last of my perm. My hair was quite long. I remember running my fingers through my coils and curls and thinking.."this is....me!"
I felt like I had come to some new level of self acceptance.

Before I went natural, my natural texture was something to chase away. It was bad and unwanted. After I went natural, my hair became more a part of me. When I finally decided to go back to perming, the choice had nothing to do with how I felt about my hair. I loved the natural styles, but unlike a lot of my friends who went natural, it was actually harder to take care of for me.

I've got a lot of hair (the reason why my current crisis is so hard for me) so dealing with it took more effort than I wanted to put out. Also, styles just didn't stay neat long enough to be practical. And while the natural styles appealed to my creative and afrocentric side, I realized that I didn't want to wear those styles all the time. Also i realized I really love long straight hair. I don't think curly, coily, kinky hair is bad, I just love the look of long straight hair. I felt I had come to the point where I could separate those two concepts and not get caught up into the "self hatred" trap. And I didn't.

Some days, (like recently) I miss my natural hair so much I ache. But then I think about all that comes along with it and the ache goes away. Plus my hair is growing very nicely and if I feel i really need to have natural styles I can still get most of them.

to each her own

So much of this is on time for me. As a currently natural head, I feel what you are saying about the purging of the stereotypes. I used to see natural sisters and think, they can do that because they have "nice texture". Now I see my sistahs with TWAs , locs, and big fros of all textures and say to myself "she looks fly". I used to be really mad that my baby sis has waves that hang down and I had naps. But I didn't really know what the naps looked like in all their glory. Like a halo or mane that demands folks to stare and be amazed.


That said, I do miss having straight hair that swings when I spin around. And Dominican blowouts that make my hair so shiney and full of body.

Whatever I do, I'm gonna be me. Not a Barbie doll, and not an Angela Davis wannabe. Just me.

 

[honeybadgirl]

i decided to go natural back in 2001 and i did not bc!! it was an easy transition and i loved my natural hair. i had set backs and tug of wars with relaxing. my hair is just so soft that any bit of moisture and i'm diana ross! just last summer my girlfriend's friend saw me on a humid day and asked her later if i got a diana ross weave!!
i decided last week to get a texturizer because i need versitility and i also wanted to wear my hair out no matter what the weather forecast said! i also started working out and it was really hard dealing with my hair. so far i'm happy i made the change and i hope that my hair will do very well. i plan on getting a touch up in february. so about 4 times a year

 

[dillard]

oooh I just couldnt resist

Going natural was the best thing I could have done.

1. It helped me to embrace and accept what grew out of my head.

2. It purged me of the "good hair" " bad hair" syndrome that so many of us suffered from

3. For me I think something spiritual happened as well. Not spiritual in the religious sense. More ethereal maybe. The best way I can describe it is the moment it happened. I was washing my hair in the shower. I had just cut off the last of my perm. My hair was quite long. I remember running my fingers through my coils and curls and thinking.."this is....me!"
I felt like I had come to some new level of self acceptance.

SOO true! I totally agree, I think being natural brought me to another level that I would never have gotten to if I stayed permed and never experienced my true self as an adult. like most i didn't even remember what my natural hair looked like or felt like! i too also realized i like the look of long hair, and I never quite got there when i was natural. after 5 years my hair "appeared" shorter than it does right now and i've only been relaxed for 10 months. and i started out both times with an inch of hair on my head.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

Bumping...I would like to hear more stories