"Isn't it unusual for black women to have long hair"

[aja1121]

So, that is what one of my white coworkers said to me today.

Sidebar: I prepooed today with shikakai and amla, so I went to work smelling like curry........and this is what intially sparked the conversation.

She then said, "When I think it's real, they always say it's fake". At first, I was annoyed and about to enlighten her. But then I looked around and all the black women around us were wearing wigs or weaves.

So, I took a deep breath and said...."this is all my hair" and "black women can grow their hair as long as they choose...and it is their personal preference to wear weaves, wigs etc."

I was gonna tell her to come on here, but I know she wouldn't, but I did tell her about it.

I couldn't get too upset because her thoughts/views are only based on what and who she is around. It is a shame! I'm glad that I had the opportunity to prove her wrong.

 

[MirrorDoll]

There unfortunately is some truth to the statement. Many, many black women have short hair, can't grow their hair and wear wigs and weaves to cover it.

However, you've got to be pretty ignorant to think that we are incapable of growing long hair. Or that it's some astounding, amazing discovery to find a black woman with long hair.

I wouldn't get mad. We all know that's just how it is...

 

[Barbara]

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are people suppose to believe?

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. They know we aren't mixed with anything.

Years ago my stylist said: "The majority of African American women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't. That's because they were never taught properly."

Some are just hair obsessed, and they feel that growing hair out to significant lengths is a mystery. Most African American women don't have long hair, and they find it hard to believe if a woman has long hair, then she has to be mixed with something.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Unfortunately, some of them think that black women are dirty about their scalps and lazy about their hair. Too lazy to wash and care for it. Sorry but that is also part of the truth. Part of that stems back to history when we are taught that even the nobility did not wash much and they wore powdered wigs etc. Underneath, their hair was often very wretched looking and they had somethimes had fleas and half bald scalps and all kinds of scalp 'ailments', generally caused by poor nutrition and poor hygiene. So since black women in wholesale numbers talk of "infrequent shampooing, and are wearing wigs and weaves and braids most of the time.......you understand why some come up with that equasion. People just do not understand why someone, especially a young person would want to cover a healthy head of hair and scalp up with wigs. Old women yes. Young women, No. You do not see a lot of white young women wearing 'wigs' and hanging out in Korean shops buying hair like black women. bonjour

 

[Barbara]

Underneath, their hair was often very wretched looking and they had somethimes had fleas and half bald scalps and all kinds of scalp 'ailments', generally caused by poor nutrition and poor hygiene.

You got that right.

 

[Sui Topi]

You got that right.

lol ewwwwwww

 

[bigdeelight]

Unfortunately, I think this is a common place idea not just among black people, but people in general.

True story: I'd just gotten my hair straightened and I headed to the BSS to find a wide tooth comb. As I stood in the store, comb in hand, the asian worker walked up behind me and asked "is that all your hair" I replied "yes, it is my natural hair" still in disbelief, she added "There's no weave in there at all?" I replied to her, as I parted my hair down the center to reveal the lack of tracks, "Nope, not at all." She was pretty impressed and went on with this speech about how most black women use weave and that she didn't mean to offend me. I wasn't offended, just curious as to why this was the normal reaction to a black woman with long hair.

 

[Tamrin]

Its not just other races who believe that our own believe it too. Yesterday I was in the Gym one of the ladies there was saying the last time she saw me I had twists. So she started talking about hair. I told her its a protective style for me. Her friend was like well your hair grew cause you got "That growing hair".

I chuckled and said to her:

"We all have growing hair about .25 to .5 inch a month. Your hair grows.. how much you retain is a different story. You have to protect your ends and moisturize not grease. If it did not grow why would u need to get a touch up?".

 

[MizAvalon]

There unfortunately is some truth to the statement. Many, many black women have short hair, can't grow their hair and wear wigs and weaves to cover it.

This is true. I went to a birthday party in my old hometown at a little local bar and I swear every woman in the place had either short hair, a weave, or braids. Every single woman.

 

[Energist]

So, I took a deep breath and said...."this is all my hair" and "black women can grow their hair as long as they choose...and it is their personal preference to wear weaves, wigs etc."

What did she say when you told her it was all your hair? I would find her comments insulting, but then again some people say and do things to purposely get under the skin of others

 

[HoneyA]

It's not surprising that people in general think that black women can't grow long hair. The majority of us are always in weaves, wigs, braids and the ones who do wear their own hair have short, overprocessed, chewed up hair so you really can't blame people for thinking that. We brought that on ourselves. Then you have black influential women like Tyra Banks who perpetuate that myth by talking about wigs and weaves every chance they get. It's sad but it happens. Once more black women realise that, their hair is beautiful and can grow long once they stop abusing it, the status quo will slowly change.

 

[MizAvalon]

Its not just other races who believe that our own believe it too. Yesterday I was in the Gym one of the ladies there was saying the last time she saw me I had twists. So she started talking about hair. I told her its a protective style for me. Her friend was like well your hair grew cause you got "That growing hair".

I chuckled and said to her:

"We all have growing hair about .25 to .5 inch a month. Your hair grows.. how much you retain is a different story. You have to protect your ends and moisturize not grease. If it did not grow why would u need to get a touch up?".

"Growing hair". And this ladies, is exactly why so many women are walking around the way they are. I can't believe that so many still believe those old wives tales.

It's really a shame.

 

[MizAvalon]

It's not surprising that people in general think that black women can't grow long hair. The majority of us are always in weaves, wigs, braids and the ones who do wear their own hair have short, overprocessed, chewed up hair so you really can't blame people for thinking that. We brought that on ourselves. Then you have black influential women like Tyra Banks who perpetuate that myth by talking about wigs and weaves every chance they get. It's sad but it happens. Once more black women realise that, their hair is beautiful and can grow long once they stop abusing it, the status quo will slowly change.

Agreed. Plenty of black women think this so why wouldn't other races? The lady said "Isn't it unusual for black women to have long hair?"

Well, isn't it?erplexed

I don't see WSL black women walking around. I see short/medium lengths and either braids, weaves, or wigs the majority of the time.

 

[bludaydreamr]

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are people suppose to believe?

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. They know we aren't mixed with anything.

Years ago my stylist said: "The majority of African American women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't. That's because they were never taught properly."

Some are just hair obsessed, and they feel that growing hair out to significant lengths is a mystery. Most African American women don't have long hair, and they find it hard to believe if a woman has long hair, then she has to be mixed with something.

This is a very true statement; most of us had our hair relaxed at a young age. We never learned how to deal with our texture, let alone the chemically treated version of our hair, which needs just as much if not more care and attention.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

This happens so often..... I went into a BLACK hair salon and the stylist thought I had Twist extentions......

Hello????? All groups of people still believe that we cannot grow our hair...

 

[hunnybunny81]

It is definitely not suprising to hear this. When there are loads and loads of women wearing weaves, wigs, braids, extensions of hair that is not theirs. I understand some women use them for protective styling purposes and/or to grow their hair out....but the reality is MOST women don't and people don't differentiate...its sad, but the assumption of a woman wearing weaves, etc and such is that she's "covering" or "hiding" her real hair because its jacked...when in all actuality it could be very healthy....problem is the average person doesn't seperate women who wear fake hair into categories...they see fake hair and assume because they can't grow it,they buy it...

I think the average on-looker thinks this way

Ladies who are educated about their hair probably know that there are various reasons to wear weaves and the like....but unfortunately those that do for "good" reasons are given a bad name by those that do for the "wrong" reasons....

 

[anon123]

Well, it is unusual, statistically speaking, isn't it? Can't be offended by that. Whether it's actually possible for black women to grow long hair is distinct from that.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Well, it is unusual, statistically speaking, isn't it? Can't be offended by that. Whether it's actually possible for black women to grow long hair is distinct from that.

I agree - I don't think it is offensive.... It is just the way it is for us....People don't think we can grow long hair. Obviously this is a myth.

 

[Marand13]

I will never understand why people think the way they do about this subject. Especially bald head black women. I know plenty of women who dont have any hair and are quick to tell me what I need to do with mine.
Nobody hardly ever sees my hair and when they do they go crazy about how long and pretty it is and ask what I do. When I tell them do they ever listen. I have been telling my kids aunt to DC and moisturize her daughters hair for five years now why are her and her daughter still dry as the desert! I hate seeing that.
My 3yr old has more hair than them!
People like that are the reason why "black women cant grow their hair".

Another thing about me, people think I dont have hair because its always put away under a wig/weave/phony pony/braids/ect... They always ask "why, you dont need it" when they see my hair. Why dont people believe or understand protecting their hair will help it grow. (sorry if I offended ne1)

 

[hunnybunny81]

I will never understand why people think the way they do about this subject. Especially bald head black women. I know plenty of women who dont have any hair and are quick to tell me what I need to do with mine.
Nobody hardly ever sees my hair and when they do they go crazy about how long and pretty it is and ask what I do. When I tell them do they ever listen. I have been telling my kids aunt to DC and moisturize her daughters hair for five years now why are her and her daughter still dry as the desert! I hate seeing that.
My 3yr old has more hair than them!
People like that are the reason why "black women cant grow their hair".

Another thing about me, people think I dont have hair because its always put away under a wig/weave/phony pony/braids/ect... They always ask "why, you dont need it" when they see my hair. Why dont people believe or understand protecting their hair will help it grow. (sorry if I offended ne1)

As I said in my post, people are conditioned to associate wigs,weaves,phony-ponies with not being able to grow hair...so when they come across people like yourself who use them for protective styling and have in fact, HEALTHY REAL hair underneath they go

They aren't educated about hair and don't understand that using protective measures is a way to help grow and retain hair....they lump weave wearers into the "can't grow hair" category and the sad thing is the average person just doesn't differentiate....

 

[ladylibra]

Part of that stems back to history when we are taught that even the nobility did not wash much and they wore powdered wigs etc. Underneath, their hair was often very wretched looking and they had somethimes had fleas and half bald scalps and all kinds of scalp 'ailments', generally caused by poor nutrition and poor hygiene.

wow this is a good point, i forgot all about that. i'm gonna start bringing this up to other black women who don't wash frequently... makes for a good argument.

Another thing about me, people think I dont have hair because its always put away under a wig/weave/phony pony/braids/ect... They always ask "why, you dont need it" when they see my hair. Why dont people believe or understand protecting their hair will help it grow. (sorry if I offended ne1)

the only women i knew that wore weaves didn't have any hair, and so i wrongly assumed only "bald-headed" women wore them. i knew a girl in high school with long hair that she always kept weaved up... i didn't get it at first either. then i started noticing she always got weaves with funky colors and stuff too, and styled the heck out of it. it started to make sense then. whenever she wore her own hair out, it was usually in a braid or some other simple (protective) style, and she'd keep it like that until she got another weave in.

 

[aja1121]

What did she say when you told her it was all your hair? I would find her comments insulting, but then again some people say and do things to purposely get under the skin of others

I couldn't find her comments too insulting at all because it is what she is used to; I work with some wigged up-weaved up to the tailbone chicks. I did say to her that since moving to Philadelphia 6 years ago, I noticed that more women in Philly and the surrounding areas opt to wear wigs and weaves more so than the women in the Baltimore/DC area.

She wasn't trying to get under my skin at all, she simply didn't know.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I've just coem to realize it is true. Especially in Mississippi. We is african americans are very stubborn. We only want to believe what we have been told my elders so those hair myths continue to stay. Instead of working on the hair beneath, we'd rather just cover it up with wigs and weave...so white people and asians get the wrong idea. No harm done or taken.

 

[hunnybunny81]

I couldn't find her comments too insulting at all because it is what she is used to; I work with some wigged up-weaved up to the tailbone chicks. I did say to her that since moving to Philadelphia 6 years ago, I noticed that more women in Philly and the surrounding areas opt to wear wigs and weaves more so than the women in the Baltimore/DC area.

She wasn't trying to get under my skin at all, she simply didn't know.

GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLL I live in the DC/Metro area and I'm hard pressed to find a chick that ISN'T weaved up or wigged out!!!!!!

 

[FAMUDva]

Well, it is unusual, statistically speaking, isn't it? Can't be offended by that. Whether it's actually possible for black women to grow long hair is distinct from that.

I agree with you... I don't think I would have been offended by the comment. Knowing me i would have tried to enlighten her though.

And I know it's not popular sentiment on the LHCF... but honestly, IRL, it's what I see. Yeah, I live in Atlanta so I do see more healthy natural & relaxed heads on a daily. But honestly speaking, I don't see nearly as many long hair black women as I see long hair white women. I'm just saying...

I sometimes get caught up in the LHCF hype, but to be real, I know black women can grow their hair long, but I just don't see it on the regular. SO, when I see a sista with BSL hair or longer, I stare and long for what she has! I sometimes even walk up to her out of the blue and tell her she has beautiful hair...

I have several friends with beautiful healthy hair; but really only have 4 that I can think of with thick BSL or longer hair. That's the real deal...

ETA: "Long hair" that I reference is BSL or longer. I know plenty of sistas (including myself) with SL to APL hair. Seems to be longer lengths that I don't see often.

 

[Caramela]

Well, isn't it unusual? Isn't that why we are all here? I didn't say it was abnormal or impossible, but I would agree that it's unusual.

 

[gymfreak336]

I agree with you... I don't think I would have been offended by the comment. Knowing me i would have tried to enlighten her though.

And I know it's not popular sentiment on the LHCF... but honestly, IRL, it's what I see. Yeah, I live in Atlanta so I do see more healthy natural & relaxed heads on a daily. But honestly speaking, I don't see nearly as many long hair black women as I see long hair white women. I'm just saying...

I sometimes get caught up in the LHCF hype, but to be real, I know black women can grow their hair long, but I just don't see it on the regular. SO, when I see a sista with BSL hair or longer, I stare and long for what she has! I sometimes even walk up to her out of the blue and tell her she has beautiful hair...

I have several friends with beautiful healthy hair; but really only have 4 that I can think of with thick BSL or longer hair. That's the real deal...

ETA: "Long hair" that I reference is BSL or longer. I know plenty of sistas (including myself) with SL to APL hair. Seems to be longer lengths that I don't see often.

Cosign.

We know its possible but I don't see as many long haired AA heads either.

I don't take comments like this as an insult. She was going on what she sees on a regular basis. Thats just the reality of the matter.

 

[Napp]

i agree that its true and when i see women w/weaves and braids all the time to their butts i smh. even if they were "protective styling" (if i give the benifit of the doubt) they would stay in the fake hair game becase thats the only way they know how to retain their growth. this leads to another vicious cycle.

 

[myco]

I wouldn't have been offended. But I do think I would have been saddened/perturbed at the perception and that the perception is pretty well-substantiated

As a whole, black women have a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to hair.

 

[ladylibra]

I've just coem to realize it is true. Especially in Mississippi. We is african americans are very stubborn. We only want to believe what we have been told my elders so those hair myths continue to stay.

yep. i thought it was funny once when the pastor at my last church told a story about why is wife always cut the legs off the Thanksgiving turkey before putting it in the oven. she said cuz her mama 'nem did it that way. so he asked his mother-in-law, she said cuz that's how HER mama 'nem did it that way. so he asks grandma-in-law why, she says because back in the day she didn't have anything big enough to fit the whole turkey in, so she cut the legs off to make it fit.

moral of the story? some traditions don't need to be carried on.