Anti-Perm: Am I the only one?

[MuseofTroy]

I noticed that a lot ladies with beautiful hair on thesee boards have perms. I was so shocked because my mother raised me to believe that perms are evils and they destroy our hair. Ladies with nice hair don't have perms etc...I didn't doubt my mother because she has long healthy thick 3c/4a hair down to her back. Personally I've never had a perm,and don't plan to get one. But I was wondering what made you guys decide to get perms? Did you have to experiment before finding the right one for your hair? Do you have any horror stories concerning perms? I'm extremely paranoid for anyone getting a perm for the first time because I've seen what happens if it isn't done right.

 

[debyjay]

MuseofTroy,

There are lots of things in life that are evil but in my IMHO perms aren't one of them. Getting a perm was a personal decision on my part. I don't have "horror" stories and this board is awsome in helping us understand our hair. Thank you for your concern but like you stated in the beginning of your post a lot of ladies with beautiful hair on these boards have perms. So through trial and error we are doing great. Again thank you for your concern.

 

[Xtal]

Muse,
A lot of people wear relaxers for various different reasons. It could be anything from a style choice to a habit. I personally was relaxed at the age of 4 and did it out of habit until now.
As you can see from women on this board, you can have beautiful healthy relaxed hair. You just have to be properly educated on how to care for it.

That's the best thing about this board. You can get information on how to care for your hair no matter what chemical services you choose to use or avoid.

 

[Jen]

Ladies with nice hair don't have perms? Is "nice hair" anything like "good hair"?

I had relaxers for fifteen years. I don't have a whole lot of horror stories, other than at least one burn every time I got a touch up (which is bad enough!).

Why are you paranoid about relaxing your hair if you're certain you'll never do it?

 

[Nonie]

I think perms are only "bad" if you don't get them done right and if you don't take care of your hair once you have the perm. Permed hair requires more TLC so it's easy to have a bad experience if you don't have the know-how or good guidance in taking care of it. I do have perm horror stories from my past eg having my hair overprocessed which is basically killing your hair. Yes, it thinned, was replete with split ends, and it broke like there was a trophy to be won for the worst looking hair in town. Causes: lack of proper care and knowledge, and a stylist who wasn't the best. Natural hair is strongest but some find it hard to style/manage and so the perm gives them the versatility they need. And with support such as this board offers and hopefully the fortune of finding a good stylist for life, I believe the positive experiences many with relaxed hair have had here can be yours too if you chose to follow suit.

At the moment I'm enjoying the success I'm having growing my hair naturally in braids so perms/relaxers are not in the plan right now. Plus I'd have to find a stylist I trust (or who fears for his/her life

) and who would have to vow never to leave town or quit doing hair.

 

[Brooke007]

I think most people use relaxers, other chemical treatments weaves etc. as a care and styling options (experience and results vary). We ask ourselves What do I want/need in my hair (manageability, flexibility, etc.) and select the appropriate products and processes to get from point A to B. I don't think we need to read much more into it, truthfully.

 

[sweetcocoa]

I think part of the problem with relaxers is that ladies who don't know any better ASSUME a perm means 'maintenance free' hair that doesn't need special treatment or care....WRONG! I found out after coming to the forums, that both natural and relaxed hair MUST be cared for properly or it won't flourish....regardless of what texture you have....

 

[lala]

At age 16, I got my 1st relaxer to tame my super-thick hair and make it more manageable. I'm a woman on the go and I don't wear braids, so it just makes grooming easier...

 

[MuseofTroy]

[ QUOTE ]
Ladies with nice hair don't have perms? Is "nice hair" anything like "good hair"?

[/ QUOTE ]

She meant nice hair as in healthy, strong, free of breakage and other problems associated with poor haircare.

 

[Brooke007]

[ QUOTE ]
I think part of the problem with relaxers is that ladies who don't know any better ASSUME a perm means 'maintenance free' hair that doesn't need special treatment or care....WRONG! I found out after coming to the forums, that both natural and relaxed hair MUST be cared for properly or it won't flourish....regardless of what texture you have....


[/ QUOTE ]

 

[mocha105]

My decision to relax my hair was strictly manageablilty. Don't get me wrong, I lovemyhair in its natural state, but its too hard for me to fight with and im xtra tender headed. With tha relaxer its much easier to maintain my hair's health and style it. I dont think that it maes me any less "black" or that i wont ever have "nice" hair. thatz just my opinion.

 

[henrilou]

Well, just MY opinion, but Muse you say that your mom had 3c/4a hair down her back?? How lucky for her. She didn't really need a perm. However. Not all hair is so manageable. I for one have 4/b hair that I fight with. It's not strong enough for a perm, but if it was I would be at the salon in a minute. This is just me, but your post sounded slightly "superior" to me. Sorry if I am taking it wrongly.

 

[cutebajangirl]

You know I didn't take it that way I know that in Barbados a lot of people prefer natural hair to relaxed because they are very set on how horrible relaxed hair can look when not "treated" properly. They prefer natural hair because it takes too much money and time to keep relaxed hair looking healthy. Alot of them equate relaxed with breakage.

 

[henrilou]

OK. I am not trying to fling ish, so I am willing to say that I am probably being fussy. sorry.

 

[cutebajangirl]

Oh no no nooo I didn't think you were it was just so funny to me to hear someone say that in the states because so many of us relax up here, because when she said anti perm it reminded me of anti christ-very extremest and that is totally how people in Barbados are when it comes to relaxed hair. LOL I totally see why someone may take it that way cause growing up here all I heard was "I got good hair i don't need a perm" and other variations on good/bad hair theme.

 

[ineedmoney]

i am anti perm for my self and as the answer for all problems in the western hemisphere. dark and lovely won't bring world peace. revlon won't save the rain forest. but if it works for you then do your thing. i personaly discourage people to get perms unless they are going to a lisenced porfessional who can give you examples and refrences of their work ( it's that serious) my mom permed my hair in the 7th grade and i thought it was gonna make me beautiful and popular and bunch of other crap. what it did do was make me unable to put my hair in a ponytail. and i really don't want another. i'm on mission to prove that the hair God gave me is beautiful. if your hair is your crown, dress yourself how you choose.

 

[canuck]

well, to tell the truth, i dont and i wont perm, but it is not my business to bash people who do so.

you have seen the rhetoric on the board, why come with such a highly charged post?

not wanting to be offensive, please dont take it that way.

yours

canuck

 

[inthestars]

Some people were permed at a young age by mothers who were easy too lazy to care for their hair or who suffered from hair hatred (or even a nasty combo of both). Personally, I wouldn't have permed my hair because its not hard to comb, but I had no choice.

 

[Brownie]

[ QUOTE ]
I noticed that a lot ladies with beautiful hair on thesee boards have perms. I was so shocked because my mother raised me to believe that perms are evils and they destroy our hair. Ladies with nice hair don't have perms etc...I didn't doubt my mother because she has long healthy thick 3c/4a hair down to her back. Personally I've never had a perm,and don't plan to get one. But I was wondering what made you guys decide to get perms? Did you have to experiment before finding the right one for your hair? Do you have any horror stories concerning perms? I'm extremely paranoid for anyone getting a perm for the first time because I've seen what happens if it isn't done right.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was raised anti-perm also (My hair is now texturized), but recently, I asked my mother why she'd always been against relaxers. She told me a story about how a hair dresser left a relaxer on her hair forever---much too long.
Having said all that, I think a lot of women have beautiful, well maintained relaxed/texturized hair on this site because we know how to properly care for our hair; therefore our hair is flourishing and growing. Yes, when I was growing up, I was always told that natural is better, but now that I observe some of my family members who have always been natural, I see that their hair is not in good shape, due to bad hair practices. I think the key to good hair care, relaxed or natural, is just learning how to care for your hair in whatever state is most convenient. Now, that my mother has seen my hair flourishing (much, much more than when I was natural), she has no ill words about relaxers.

 

[prettygirl]

actualy I don't have a perm I have arelaxer and the reson we have been grown to become ant-perm/relaxer is because were are not properly educated about how to care for ourhair we just per or relax and senton our way not being told how to maintain it I think this is the perfect site that will assit us with how to protect our hair from futer damage that will result in breakage.

 

[sassygirl125]

I'm not anti-perm, but I think my hair is...

Like henrilou, I don't think my hair is strong enough for relaxers. Over the years my hair got shorter and drier. Even after discovering hair boards in the late 1990's my relaxed hair never looked as good as everyone else's.

It looked 100% better than when I went to the salon every week, though!

If I could relax and still have the long, healthy hair of my childhood, I would probably still do it.

 

[Crysdon]

[ QUOTE ]
well, to tell the truth, i dont and i wont perm, but it is not my business to bash people who do so.

you have seen the rhetoric on the board, why come with such a highly charged post?

not wanting to be offensive, please dont take it that way.

yours

canuck

[/ QUOTE ]


BRAVO Canuck!

Your words were very well spoken and unbiased.

I was natural up until October of 2002 and I used to frequent a natural board (name withheld for obvious reasons) and I truly like the advice and tips from the ladies, but man were they the saddest people I ever "saw". Not once did I see a civil post stay that way. I wonder how they've gotten so angry over something as simple as hair? Anger over anything is not healthy, ya know.

I eventually came here and fell in love with this site. Being here convinced me to get a texturizer. Who knows...I probably would have stayed natural if it wasn't for the attitudes I encountered and associated with being natural.

Life is short and I won't spend my borrowed time dissing people and their choices on what they do with their hair.

 

[sassygirl125]

[ QUOTE ]
I probably would have stayed natural if it wasn't for the attitudes I encountered and associated with being natural.


[/ QUOTE ]

I've noticed this, too. A lot of the natural hair discussion groups are "weird", IMO. My cousin said (jokingly) that to be "really" natural, we were going to have to start writing poems about our nappy hair...

 

[GinuwinesBoo]

a lot of people are anti "perm" because they have had bad experiences with them because they werent educated about them. if they were they would know that a perm and a relaxer are two TOTALLY different things. as pretty girl said i have a relaxer not a perm. anyway i think its all about what you feel looks good on you. whether our hair is relaxed, permed, or natural, our hair is fragile anyway so regardless we need to treat it with care and one little mistake can jack our hair up and cause us to have to start all over again. i have seen beautiful fros and beautiful relaxed hair. same with damaged. i think as black women we should stop worrying about what kind of hair is better and just worry about breaking the stereotype that black women have ugly hair that doesnt grow and focus on maintaining our healthy hair regardless of texture, style, or amount of chemicals.
~Lauren

 

[zoya_j]

You know I really tried achieve length with my relaxed hair. But it would grow to shoulder length , and then my kitchen would start breaking off no matter what I did. I was really caring for my hair well, not going to the salon, spacing out my relaxers wearing protective styles and getting regular trims, the works. I am not anti perm/relaxer, it's just that I've tried it the relaxed way, now I'm gonna try it (and succeed) the natural way

I think that everyone should wear their hair the way it suits them be it permed, relaxed, texturized or natural. Anyway you put it's all good baby!

 

[Plenty]

MuseofTroy, you don't have a relaxer?!

Yes, I am hijacking your thread because this is old.

May i ask you your hair regimen? How do you maintain an active lifestyle with natural hair?

I hope this tread gets your attn.

Plenty!

ETA: oh, did I mention you and your hair are gorgeous!

 

[ThursdayGirl]

MuseofTroy, you don't have a relaxer?!

Yes, I am hijacking your thread because this is old.

May i ask you your hair regimen? How do you maintain an active lifestyle with natural hair?

I hope this tread gets your attn.

Plenty!

ETA: oh, did I mention you and your hair are gorgeous!

Thanks for asking this. I thought she was relaxed too. I will be watching this thread.

Also could you describe your hair texture, Muse?

 

[InnerSoul]

I have a relaxer and love it ! It's more on how u take care of it. Yes its a harsh chemical but I do stretch mine to 3 months.. this way my hair stays stronger and thicker! ...and that way the chemical is not applied as frequently as almost every month like I did in the past!

I don't plan on going natural although I do love playing in my new growth when I am stretching! My choice to relax was also b/c it makes my hair manageable!.. this is why I chose to have a relaxer

 

[glamazon386]

I noticed that a lot ladies with beautiful hair on thesee boards have perms. I was so shocked because my mother raised me to believe that perms are evils and they destroy our hair. Ladies with nice hair don't have perms etc...I didn't doubt my mother because she has long healthy thick 3c/4a hair down to her back. Personally I've never had a perm,and don't plan to get one. But I was wondering what made you guys decide to get perms? Did you have to experiment before finding the right one for your hair? Do you have any horror stories concerning perms? I'm extremely paranoid for anyone getting a perm for the first time because I've seen what happens if it isn't done right.

Most people didn't have a choice. Their mom relaxed their hair when they were a child or teenager. I got mines relaxed when I was about 6. As long as my mother took care of my relaxed hair I had a healthy head of it. The longest it ever got was about BSL when I was in 4th or 5th grade. Once I started taking care of it myself it seemed like it went downhill. In an effort to fix it I was in the salon every week or two weeks so I'm sure that was part of it too. Every stylist doesn't know what they're doing and my hair was solely being done by them when I wasn't in braids. I've had plenty of horror stories from my teenage years until the past year or so. That's why I'm now natural. I won't be relaxing my children's hair. I'm going to wait until they are of age to decide and take care of it for themselves.

 

[JewelleNY]

Yes, I do think relaxers are evil Yes, I have relaxed and may do so in the future but they are evil and I wish they had never been invented