Back To The Relaxer

[Autumn]

Sorry for digging this thread out of the basement, but I was up early this morning and it really hit home. I was recently natural for 9-10 months (longest duration since childhood). I got to know my hair. Even considered locs, but shyed away from the re-twisting. I always compliment a nice head of locs.

To make a long story short, After receiving some helpful advice and encouragement from the lovely ladies on this site, I texturized my hair last night with a mild lye relaxer (Elasta Qp). Only kept it in for about 5-7 minutes and washed it out. No burns or anything. Now I have a coiler, short, tapered afro : ) Very easy to wear. Plus I can wear my caps again lol.

My goal is to have long, kinky/wavy-ish hair. Basically, I like the big poofy hair, but I didn't like the hurt arms and the long detangling times.

So just wanted to say, thanx ladies! You all are gorgeous and very nice <33

 

[Faith]

Funny..this post is up. I have been natural about 4 and a half years and I'm thinking of texturizing in 3 weeks. I have considered it before but I'm closer to trying it again now. My hair is 2-3" from my waist and it's harder to manage. It tangles verrrrrry easy so I have to fight with it even with products in there to make combing easier. Sigh!!!
Autumn..how did you like the elasta? I'm thinking of getting that. Any regrets? Did you smooth it during that 5-7 minute time frame?
Ishevonne..any regrets?

TIA..

 

[keni5]

Wow Faith you got a beautiful head of hair there. I dont know guys reading this is kinda sad. Was dealing with nappy hair that bad. I got tired of dealing with my hair in the 2nd and third year too. I can understand you. I was tired of twisting and coiling and all the time it takes to make it look "good". You ever noticed how if you have natural hair people always expect it to look styled...youre basically not allowed a bad hair day? Well one day I said screw that, Im tired of pressing, twisting braiding,...spending hours on my head. I thought about a perm, but I didnt go through with it. I just left my hair alone. You know how easy it is with a perm to just get up and put it in a ponytail in the morning?...HA!! I did that too...I stopped caring about slicking it back or the products. I had a nappy a** ponytail and could care less who saw it...fuzzy as heck. Not combed out. Let me tell you I went two years accepting naps and it got better. You dont have to comb it out. You dont have to make it lay down. You dont have to make it act right. Hell it can look dry and not "sheeny" and still be beautiful cuz its yours. I think the problem with natural hair is we have the tendency to have to represent at all times. Keep it styled...whose arms wouldnt get tired with all that twisting. Ladies Im at the point in my life where I can style or not style. It can be shiny or dry. Im thinking maybe some of you are styling too much and getting tired or youre taking your styles down before they get fuzzy and the naps kink up "too bad" or something. Before some of you guys relax just try doing nothing to your hair, just wash it and pull it back....dont even comb it out. Or wash it and let it airdry....a little oil if youre too shame of dry hair. So what if the shrinkage is severe...if the naps are showing. See if you can get comftorable with your naps, and if not then you can say well you know what I tried. Becuz you didnt really try if you were constantly trying to style the naps or tame them. Did you actually give the naps a chance to be themselves in their true glory...even if they are beady b's. Sorry if you guys think im coming on too strong...but I really do believe black women are beautiful from head to toe even their nappy hair and thier hair is no harder to manage than any other races. All Im saying is its obvious you guys know how to style and appreciate natural hair...but have you honestly gave your hair a chance without styling? Take care guys and Im loving these pics...natural pics and relaxed.
I had no idea our hair could grow so long relaxed...im learning a lot in here too.
keni5

 

[UmSumayyah]

food for thought.

 

[Faith]

Hi Keni Thanks for the kind words. I have allowed it to be but I have 80% shrinkage and it just looks bad when I wash and TRY and put it up. Plus all the hair loss from combing. It's just harder to manage for me...especially at this length. The problem to is I like my hair straight so it would entail flatironing it 2-3x/month which is just too much heat.

Btw, that's not my hair in the signature. My hair is in the link that says "what are you looking at"

Faith

 

[blue_flower]

Nice hair, Faith!

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Keni 5- Very insightful comments!

I agree that when it comes to natural hair, there is definitely a desire to keep it looking sharp at all times. You EXPECT to get compliments on a regular basis. The longer the hair gets, the more time-consuming and frustrating the process of styling can be. Doing one's hair becomes a dreaded chore as opposed to a pleasurable experience.

I think it is important to note, however, that depending on the professional and/or academic setting one is in- corporate, grad school, law school- "letting one's hair just be" is not really a viable option. Unkempt is unkempt, no matter if the hair is relaxed or natural. And on a more practical note, letting coils/curls go for extended periods of time without combing is just setting one's self up for a MONUMENTAL combout somewhere down the line that will take forever. Trust me- I have experienced this!!

I seriously considered texturizing a month or so ago- and it seemed like at the time there were a zillion texturizing threads on the board- and I was soooooo tempted. But I did just put the hair away and did nothing (basically wore a bun everyday), and when I couldn't take that look anymore, I came to the ladies on the board for advice. I realized there were different options that would keep the hair looking great that did not involve permanent chemicals.

The one thing I would ask the ladies who are considering texturizing/relaxing to do is to look into the potential for getting your hair styled BY SOMEONE ELSE. While our hair may be too much for US to handle, it is probably NOT really and truly "unmanageable." After having found a Dominican salon that can wash and rollerset my hair beautifully without batting an eye at its length/thickness, I know that I will be going there on a REGULAR basis. I will do very little to the hair inbetween visits. I can leave it out or pull it back into a curly ponytail EVERYDAY and still look professional.

Ultimately it is about what makes one happiest and feel the best about themselves and their hair. Good luck

 

[Mamacita]

I finally texturized my hair 1.5 weeks ago and I'm very happy with it, the only regret I have is that I wish I had done it sooner.

 

[NapturalGlory]

i guess being naptural just isn't for everyone these days...

i personally loooooove and adore being naptural and i don't spend that much time styling my hair. i have simple styles and time consuming styles and i regulate them so that if i spend hours on one style i make it last weeks. i have never gone to a pro to style my hair but when i have some extra money i think i'll get cornrows (i will detangle my own hair first though cuz i know they'll be too rough).

i have found that i CAN just "let my hair be" - i did that for over a year after shaving off my locs. i had a teeny weeny afro and then i just let it grow but the shrinkage kept it real short looking and neat. yes, neat. my hair is naturally neat. i comb it and it shrinks into a neat circle. and i got my corporate job with my hair in short locs. now that i've grown some more hair from protective styling i have enough to pull into 2 low afropuffs after undoing my styles. the styles stretch my hair out. i am comfortable with my hair on so many different levels...

 

[keni5]

Wow Faith!! 80% I cant tell from the pics. Your hair looks real pretty though. Yeah when I actually do decide to "style", it can be tiring. Thats why I dont style all the time. I give my sister tips from this site, she relaxes her hair and it it thin and fried. She could benefit from this site. Ive already started her on you guys bun challenge.
take care!!

 

[keni5]

Oshuncurl,
I totally agree, sometimes you can just let the hair be, BUT like you say after all that letting it "be", it is a pain in *** to take down. And yes at work it will be a bit uncomftorable. See I have 4 days off a week so I will twist it the first day untwist it the 3rd day and let it "be" the rest. the 2nd and 3rd day my hair is fuzzy, but i just gotta deal with that. when i wash it on the 5 day, then there is no "definition". My hair is kinda long and I definately can get tired of combing it. I dont mind paying money for someone else to do it. But I have to admit when I had a relaxer all those years, I didnt want to do anything to it either. I kept it in a ponytail. Basically I believe all women are beautiful. So that means all hair straight, nappy, black and beyond. I personally would just like if more people accepted "nappy" hair as the normal and straight as the styling option. Nappy hair gets too much negative hype. You know say youve been natural for years and would like to try out straight hair for a while. A style not a way of life. But you cant listen to me cuz right now im in the "long" hair thing. Im taking you guys forum and running with it....its a hijack by a nappie!!
take care
keni5