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i used water and extra virgin olive oil.. until i got to the consistency i wanted. i posted pictures here: http://public.fotki.com/jkamiel/my-hair-diary/year-two-september-/december-2008/
If you saw my vid, you'll see that I mix with water and marshmallow root powder. Once I infused the marshmallow root and made a tea with it and mixed that into the bentonite clay cause I didn't have the powder.
You can use any herb with it though. Another option is to use half coconut milk, half water. If you use all coconut milk it may weigh your hair down too much. It's even a bit much for my thick hair.