Big chop for my daughter???

[dontspeakdefeat]

As you all know I am currently transitioning my daughter's hair. She has about 3 inches of newgrowth as of today maybe a little more. Her hair is starting to tangle more and the two textures are presenting a challenge. So....

I asked her did she want me to do the big chop. She answered, "yes"

I was so suprised to here that come out of her mouth because her hair is so precious to her. I don't know how much longer I can handle the two textures with out using heat and that's a nono.

I was thinking maybe I could bc and then let her wear braid extensions until it grows out again. She was cool with that because she loves braids.

What should a mamma do? Do you think I will regret it or that she would regret it. After all she is only eight and will probably go along with just about anything to please mamma!! Any suggestions? TIA

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Is it precious to her because of the length? If so, then I say go ahead and chop and then put her in braids that will give her the length that she wants. In about a year or less, she'll have enough hair to start styling in hanging twists.

 

[EXSQUISIT]

Well I've seen your gorgeous daughter in braids and if she loves them and she seems okay with it, I say go for it! It'll grow out in no time. I know you can probably tell when she's reluctant to do something ( i know I can with mine) and when she's only doing it to make you happy. If you feel she really won't be comfortable or you sense she is doing it for you then just try to keep going with the 2 textures until she feels ready. Good luck either way!!

 

[Ayeshia]

hmmmm i woulnt do it...usually a child is very fickle about things like this. maybe chop like three or four inches off and put it into the braids like you said

but i wouldnt chop all the hair off just yet

 

[Tai]

I would go for the BC and put her in braids. If transitioning is too much, then the BC seems to be the option.
I don't think that either one of you would regret the decision since you already have a plan as to what to do after the BC.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
hmmmm i woulnt do it...usually a child is very fickle about things like this. maybe chop like three or four inches off and put it into the braids like you said

but i wouldnt chop all the hair off just yet

[/ QUOTE ]

At first when she said yes, I got really excited but I have had time to sit dowm and think about it. If I am going to keep it braided up, it won't matter whether I do the chop now or later. I don't know. I wouldn't want to do it and she hates it. I just don't know what to do!

 

[ms_kenesha]

My sister for medical reasons had to get a BC (shaved) at around 7 or 8 and WE as adults are more critical of things like that then young children IMO. My mom would put hats on my sister and she'd just go outside to play w/o one on!

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

[ QUOTE ]
GodMadeMePretty said:
Is it precious to her because of the length? If so, then I say go ahead and chop and then put her in braids that will give her the length that she wants. In about a year or less, she'll have enough hair to start styling in hanging twists.

[/ QUOTE ]
You hit the nail on the head. She considers her hair to be "so long". It's funny that I don't but I don't shoot down her ideas. Maybe before she goes into braids I will cut another inch or so off and by the time they come out whe would have gained that inch back. Hmmmm...that's a prety good idea!

Any more suggestions?

 

[Dolce_Dawn]

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
hmmmm i woulnt do it...usually a child is very fickle about things like this. maybe chop like three or four inches off and put it into the braids like you said

but i wouldnt chop all the hair off just yet

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree.

 

[Tai]

I would sit down and talk to her about what you can do. Either continue transitioning, saving the BC until much later, doing cuts while transitioning (2-3 inches at a time) or cut off all her relaxed hair. Make sure she understands what you're talking about. Then discuss how she's going to wear her hair during this period (braids, bantu knots, phonyponies, etc.) Come up with what seems reasonable for both of you.

 

[MrsQueeny]

I just did the BC with my daughter's hair. She cried at first. Then I blowdried it into an afro and she was so happy. She has about 4 inches now. I braided it in cornrows with added hair and they are long. She loves the fact that her hair is like mine now. She even asked if she could get her hair dyed brown also. Just explain everything to her. Tell her how healthy her hair is going to be, and she'll be okay. My daughter especially likes that she will be able to have it wavy (braid outs) like mine as it gets longer. Take care and GOD BLESS!!! Q

 

[Neroli]

If you're putting in braids, then why BC? I suggest braiding without BC -- do the BC after braids come down -- might be less traumatic because she'll have more inches then.

Just a thought . . .

 

[HoneyRockette]

I agree. Don't BC. Braid and trim gradually.

 

[inthepink]

Well here's my personal opinion. I think you shouldn't do a big chop...b/c she is so young and may not realize the consequences of what she's really saying. And I really don't think it's healthy for a young child to wear braids for a long period of time....they can put stress on her edges and other areas.

Maybe you could start trimming a half inch every month to help her hair along further? Could you do buns or other easy hairstyles?

Just my opinion...

 

[Aalize]

You should do it gradually. Since she's a child, she won't realize what a drastic change it really is until it is done.

 

[NaturalRox]

DSD - interesting dilemma. I agree that maybe you should go about this gradually. I remember when I about 10 years old, I had just a few inches cut off but for me that was a big deal and I cried for days! I didn't think it would bother me that much but after it was done, it was done. There's no harm in trimming off the relaxed ends in a gradual manner until they're all gone. And in the meantime you can still have her hair in protective styles to minimize manipulation, tangling, etc.

I would say to only do the BC if there was any breakage occuring. HTH!

 

[PretteePlease]

i am transitioning my daughter also, she has about 3 inches of newgrowth. she asked me if i was going to give her the bc with tears in her eyes. she was relived when i told her no. she has a thing for long hair but looks forward to having spirals all over. I am doing gradual trims. cut 3 or 4 inches to see her reaction. i was bald when i was 9 when i had some medical problems. i was funny sometimes i had a hat sometimes i had my scarf sometimes my head was in the sun shining for the world to see and i refused to cover it, i went back and forth alot. i never had long hair but i liked my hair. just test her reaction. see if a local beauty supply has a short fro wig put it on her and ask would she be ok if her hair was like that. she might change her mind.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

I think after reading all of everyone's advice I am leaning toward just working with the 2 textures. I may have to give the protective styling a try too. She probably would cry if I cut it down to the newgrowth. I may just give it a good trim every 2 months as it grows in. I am still tempted though. I will talk to her about it and see how she really feels.

 

[simplycee]

I would wait and try to grow her out in cornrows. I put my daughter in cornrows and didn't have to worry about her hair for 3 - 4 weeks. Let her do this a couple times ( careful not to put to much stress on her edges) and it will give you a break for a couple weeks.

 

[caligirl2385]

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
hmmmm i woulnt do it...usually a child is very fickle about things like this. maybe chop like three or four inches off and put it into the braids like you said

but i wouldnt chop all the hair off just yet

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA

 

[lsubabiedee]

[ QUOTE ]
dontspeakdefeat said:
If I am going to keep it braided up, it won't matter whether I do the chop now or later.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's what i was thinking...

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

That's why I come to you ladies for advice before I do anything major. You guys help me think of other alternatives before doing something drastic. Thanks for all the advice ladies. Any other suggestions or ideas are welcome!

Sending out much love and {{{{hugs}}}}

 

[MrsQueeny]

I know you will make the right decision. I forgot to add, that I did do a couple of little chops with my daughter because of the tangles. But finally, she was still crying with the detangling even though I was careful and it took awhile. I would say that I chopped off about 6 inches this last time. She usually wears braids for about a month and then I take them out, do a deep condition and let her hair rest in bantu knots for a week and then I rebraid. I do co washes while she has the braids in every couple of days, and wash every 2 weeks. Of course, I use braid spray everyday twice a day, and tie it up with a satin scarf every night. Whenever I take them out, her hair is soft and moisturized. PM me if you like. I know how hard of a decision this is, but you know it will be for the best in the long run. Love ya girl Q

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Well, I talked to her about the whole big chop thing and she shreaked when I showed her how long her hair would be. She said "no mommy, I don't want you to do that!!!" I told her ok. Even though I am the one that has to do her hair, she is the one who has to live with it everyday.

I will just do mini chops until the relaxer is all gone.

Thanks ladies for all of the wonderful support and advice!!

-DSD