Did you stick your natural hair journey out?

[StarScream35]

LHCF was where I started my natural hair journey way back in 2011….my how time flies! Anyway, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve big chopped and restarted but all these years I remained natural.

Now, it ain’t been easy and I still struggle with single strands knots and moisture retention is still a struggle depending on the season but my God Im
still here.

There were times I thought about going back to the creamy crack but then I was like nah, I can’t waste my whole day sitting in a salon. My time is too precious especially now that I’m older.

I do miss the black salon fellowship experience. Nothing can ever match that but the time spent waiting and waiting was a hot mess.

Anyway, did you hang in there or go back to relaxers or texturizers?

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

Still hanging in there. Been a long time. I think around 15 years. I stopped counting.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I stuck with it, but it was for various reasons.

1. I absolutely HATED getting relaxers as a kid and would stretch as long as humanly possible. I only got relaxers for the convenience of adults doing my hair, given it was deemed "unmanageable" and the 'Just 4 Me' and 'PCJ No Lye Relaxer' commercials were in heavy rotation at the time. I was NEVER the kid who wanted a relaxer or asked for one. I would ALWAYS ask for the hot comb, braids, practice my own hairstyles, and do everything in my power to avoid that dreaded box perm sitting on the counter when I was called into the kitchen. I ABSOLUTELY HATED getting my hair relaxed from the first experience in preschool until my last experience, no matter how many compliments I got while my hair was permed (it held thickness and styles even when relaxed bone straight). Lol...did I mention I hated getting perms as a kid? I can laugh now, because I sure did.
2. In my household, being responsible and accountable for keeping yourself up was part of growing up. It was an expectation set by my mom and her mother before her. We were in the hood, so you had to learn to do many of the things you couldn't afford. That came in handy in the early days because few product lines were tailored to natural hair, and we rigged up what we had to "make it work". Many of the few natural lines that did exist were expensive or hard to get.
3. I stopped relaxing my hair as soon as I was given the choice in high school. This was before social media, before message boards became as popular as platform groups and chatrooms, before India Arie sang "I Am Not My Hair", and before all the folks who told me I needed a perm developed "woke-nesia" towards all the ignorant stuff they said as they went natural a decade later. I defended my decision a lot...more than I should have, during that period of time.
4. When I got to Howard University there still weren't a lot of naturals, but I saw more naturals in DC than I had ever seen in Cali (including LA and Oakland). Most of them wore locs, "Kinky twists", or short afros, yet the experience showed me options, and that was encouraging. It was also when regular, authentic compliments to my hair in its natural state became normal. Now beauticians from back home gave my hair "stand-alone" compliments. The one friend I had in high school who was also natural encouraged my decision and complimented my hair, but compliments on my natural hair were generally rare before undergrad. I was used to defending my hair, ignoring nonsense, being told how much better my hair would look with a relaxer, or how hard my hair was to comb. So, it was a breath of fresh air to come downstairs during a "lockout" and have a girl say, "Dang that RA has pretty hair," when I came down with it in a fresh and fluffy fro (usually while in the process of styling it). It was pleasant for girls to ask me for advice on "going natural" when the phrase "transitioning" was relatively new to me, based on my experience of organically becoming a natural before I paid attention to natural boards(as opposed to hair style and general hair care groups). Sure, there was still a lot of the "need a perm" commentary at Howard, but natural hair was part of the conversation.
   1. Instead of having ONE natural friend in high school who had been natural all her life, several girls at Howard found natural hair very pretty and would say so. A good bit whispered they wanted to go natural, but didn't have the guts to do it. A few more decided to take the plunge during their undergrad. Finally, amongst the "need a perm" mentality, there was a conversation and evidence to alternatives...instead of 1 or 2 wee small voices being drowned out.
   2. My hair wasn't even that long then: APL(the same length I maintained when I was relaxed) never making it to BSL until after I graduated. I still had to straighten it for internships and job interviews since MOST professional companies had dress code rules that the nature of natural hair violated...but shoot, by the time India Arie started singing "I Am Not my Hair", Chris Rock released the "Good Hair" documentary, and "going natural" became a catch phrase it had been years since my last relaxer and I had already removed my last bits of relaxed strands. So, I just felt proud that I believed in it and knew it was special when it was unpopular.
5. I have always added natural styles to the straight styles that I like, as opposed to restricting my options. Nappurality.com being militant about straightening my hair wasn't my style. Keeping my hair "styled" no matter the state was always my preference. I like versatility. Looking back, I have always worn my hair in "natural" styles more than anything else. When my hair was relaxed, I wore it in braids most of the time and I would stretch my relaxer over 6 months when I was allowed to.

So yeah, I became natural over 20 years ago and never returned to relaxers... but I never actually gave up anything. I just had to grow up enough to do what I always wanted to do with my hair... which was be relaxer-free. I have my other hair vices. There was nothing I chose about being relaxed. There is NOTHING I miss about being relaxed. I didn't wear fingerwaves :giggle , so I just brought all my favorite relaxed styles over to my pressed hair when I became natural.

I love that natural hair is part of the black conversations moving forward. I will admit I found the experience most fun before natural hair became the trend. In my early natural years, every adult natural I ran into was both deep and dope ...confidence like no other. There was a lot of depth, self-awareness, authenticity, and natural confidence that became diluted amongst the group when it became a trend. Before it became popular, you kinda had to mean it to subject yourself to the criticism and ignorance that came with being an outlier, but standing for what you believe in builds character beyond hair. Following the "Good Hair" movie, it became more of a "trend, but it is balancing out. Those who tried it and decided against it were empowered to give it an earnest "go," and those of us who prefer it are still here. I like where it landed. It deserved its spike in popularity, followed by its presence as a permanent part of the black hair conversation once the dust settled.

I do still consider naturals a minority. I do believe most people want thick and/or long hair and consider natural hair as a means to achieve that. I don't see anything wrong with that approach. I am from the 'BlackHair' & 'HypeHair' magazine era. So, I just enjoy seeing black women wearing their hair styled nicely.

 

[Yvette 2.0]

Hi!

Relaxers had my hair so thinned out that I looked ill (in my opinion). Once I did the big chop, I had a blast learning to care for my natural hair. And it was so LIBERATING not to feel forced to need to go into a salon because my hair was snapping off due to a line of demarcation between chemically treated hair and natural new growth. Freedom!

For those reasons, I did not return to relaxers.

I did become a straight-haired natural, though. Loved it! Over time my hair sustained damage from it, so I'm back to curly.

Edited to add:

I get compliments on my curly hair, but I get a lot of "Oh my, wow" type comments when I wear my hair stretched, straightened, or silk pressed. I feel cute in my curly natural hair, whereas I feel beautiful and sexy in my straightened natural hair. That is a big challenge for me.

I've learned that shaping is EVERYTHING if I'm going to wear my curly hair out.

I don't feel I will ever relax again: I love the freedom and flexibility way too much. I want to stay free.

 

[Yvette 2.0]

I stuck with it, but it was for various reasons.

1. I absolutely HATED getting relaxers as a kid and would stretch as long as humanly possible. I only got relaxers for the convenience of adults doing my hair, given it was deemed "unmanageable" and the 'Just 4 Me' and 'PCJ No Lye' commercials were in heavy rotation at the time. I was NEVER the kid who wanted a relaxer or asked for one. I would ALWAYS ask for the hot comb, braids, practice my own hairstyles, and do everything in my power to avoid that dreaded box perm sitting on the counter when I was called into the kitchen. I ABSOLUTELY HATED getting my hair relaxed from the first experience in preschool until my last experience, no matter how many compliments I got while my hair was permed (it held thickness and styles even when relaxed bone straight). Lol...did I mention I hated getting perms as a kid? I can laugh now, because I sure did.
2. In my household, being responsible and accountable for keeping yourself up was part of growing up. It was an expectation set by my mom and her mother before her. We were in the hood, so you had to learn to do many of the things you couldn't afford. That came in handy in the early days when very few product lines were tailored to natural hair, and we rigged up what we had to "make it work"...or natural lines that did exist were expensive and hard to get.
3. I stopped relaxing my hair as soon as I was given the choice in high school. This was before social media, when message boards were not that popular, before India Arie sang "I am not my Hair", and all the folks who told me I needed a perm up until the point they went natural got and developed "woke-nesia" to all the ignorant stuff they said. I defended my decision a lot...more than I should have, during that period of time.
4. When I got to Howard University there still weren't a lot of naturals, but I saw more naturals in DC than I had ever seen in Cali (including LA and Oakland). Most of them wore locs, "Kinky twists", or short afros, yet the experience showed me options, and that was encouraging. Howard was also when regular, authentic compliments to my hair in it's naturally state became normal. Now beauticians from back home gave my hair "stand-alone" compliments. The one friend I had in high school who was also natural encouraged my decision and complimented my hair, but compliments on my natural hair were generally rare before undergrad. I was used to defending my hair, ignoring nonsense, being told how much better my hair would look with a relaxer or how hard my hair was to comb. So, It was a breath of fresh air to come downstairs during a "lockout" and have a girl say, "Dang that RA has pretty hair," when I came down with it in a fresh and fluffy fro (usually while in the process of styling it). It was pleasant for girls to ask me for advice on "going natural" when the phrase "transitioning" was relatively new to me, based on my experience of organically becoming a natural before I paid attention to natural boards(as opposed to hair style and general hair care groups). Sure, there was still a lot of the "need a perm" commentary at Howard, but natural hair was part of the conversation.
   1. Instead of having ONE natural friend in high school who had been natural all her life, several girls at Howard found natural hair very pretty and would say so. A good bit whispered they wanted to go natural, but didn't have the guts to do it. A few more decided to take the plunge during the undergrad. Finally, amongst the "need a perm" mentality, there was a conversation and evidence to alternatives...instead of 1 or 2 wee small voices being drowned out.
   2. My hair wasn't even that long then: APL(the same length I maintained when I was relaxed) never making it to BSL until after I graduated. I still had to straighten it for internships and job interviews since MOST professional companies had dress code rules that the nature of natural hair violated...but shoot, by the time India Arie started singing "I Am Not my Hair", Chris Rock released the "Good Hair" documentary, and "going natural" became a catch phrase it has been years since my last relaxer, I had already removed my last bits of relaxed and I just felt proud that I believed in it, when it was unpopular.
5. I have always added natural styles to the straight styles that I like. Nappurality.com being militant about straightening my hair was too militant for me. Keeping my hair "styled" was always my preference. I like versality. Looking back I have always worn my hair in "natural" styles more than anything else...even when my hair was relaxed I wore it in braids most of the time.

So yeah, I became natural over 20 years ago and never returned to relaxers... but I never actually gave up anything. I just had to grow up enough to do what I wanted to do to my hair..which was be relaxer free. I have my other hair vices. There is nothing I chose about being relaxed. There is NOTHING I miss about being relaxed. I didn't wear fingerwaves , so I just brought my favorite relaxed styles over to my pressed hair.

I love that natural hair is part of the black conversation moving forward. I will admit I found the experierience most fun before natural hair became the trend. In my early natural years, every adult natural I ran into was both deep and dope ...confidence like no other. There was a lot of depth, self-awareness, authenticity, and natural confidence that became diluted amongst the group when it became a trend. Before it became popular you kinda had to mean it to subject yourself to the criticism and igornance that came with being an outlier, but standing for what you believe in builds character beyond hair. Following the "Good Hair" movie it became more of a "trend", but it is balancing out. Those who tried it and decided against it were empowered to give it an earnest "go," and those of us who prefer it are still here. I like where it landed. It deserved its spike in popularity, followed by its presence as a permanent part of the black hair conversation once the dust settled.

I do still consider naturals a minority. I do beleive most people want thick and/or long hair and consider natural hair as a means to achieve that. I don't see anything wrong with that approach. I am from the 'BlackHair' & 'HypeHair' magazine era. So, I just enjoy seeing black women wearing their hair styled nicely.

Not woke-nesia!

Love this all.

 

[StarScream35]

Still hanging in there. Been a long time. I think around 15 years. I stopped counting.

I had to go back and calculate it. It’s been 14 years for me and my bottom lip is on the floor because I didn’t realize so much time had passed by. Where has all this time gone?? It seems like it all just happened yesterday but other times it feels like a hundred years ago.

 

[naturalpride]

I've been natural on an off since 2008 but it's too time consuming so I'm currently relaxed since 2020 and will be for the foreseeable future. I enjoy short wash days at this point in my life.

 

[StarScream35]

I've been natural on an off since 2008 but it's too time consuming so I'm currently relaxed since 2020 and will be for the foreseeable future. I enjoy short wash days at this point in my life.

If you don’t mind me asking, how’s the salon experience these days? Have they gotten better? Are appts still stacked? Of course this assumes you go to salons to get your relaxers done, as I understand you may do your own hair but if you still go to salons, I’m just curious how things are now.

 

[Napp]

Nope. I’ve been off and on keratin for years. Currently happy with my hair botoxed. I decided I’ll go natural again but just short if I have a baby.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I couldn't imagine my hair relaxed ever again.

 

[snoop]

I've been natural for about 15 years. Partially because I'm "cheap". Relaxing hair was way more than I could afford and it wasn't convenient for me to travel to another city to get it done.

The irony is that I've spent WAY more money than I care to admit doing DIY over the years, but I LOVE it. I've learned so much about my hair and I've been able to help people with the information that I've accumulated over the years, including people of different ethnicities.

At this point, I may shave my head, but I don't ever see myself ever going back to relaxing my hair.

 

[naturalpride]

If you don’t mind me asking, how’s the salon experience these days? Have they gotten better? Are appts still stacked? Of course this assumes you go to salons to get your relaxers done, as I understand you may do your own hair but if you still go to salons, I’m just curious how things are now.

I only go to the salon for trims on relaxer day. My hair is already blowdryed she just trims. I've always self relaxed. I just don't trust that anyone would take the precautions that I do on relaxer day. I go to supercuts and have a trusted stylist there that does a fantastic job trimming my hair. I take care of my hair at home the rest of the time.