Do you ever feel out of place...?

[D.Lisha]

When I'm at a black function my hair is longer than 99.9% of the people there. So yup I feel a bit out of place. Especially when it comes to the stares and silence when I show up. Awkward! But I don't care. I run my fingers through my hair and keep it moving.

MariposaSexyGirl: this is OT, but I love your siggy pic!

 

[Triniwegian]

The only time I feel out of place is when I do a wash and go, run out of the house and I'm not really sure how it looks once dried. I could look AWESOME or a HAM LOL

The only other time I feel uncomfortable is if I straighten my hair and its super long, but the women around me all have short hair. I always get compliments from other women so I'm not sure why it makes me feel like I'm "showing off" since for all I know they may want their hair short.

Thank you!!!
When I went with my SO to his family's Christmas party/reunion, I was pretty much the only girl there with straight APL hair (that was not a wig or weave) and I kinda felt a little out of place, I was thinking that maybe I should have put it up because I didn't want them to think I was trying to show off. I thought I was alone in thinking that.

 

[natura87]

Thank you!!!
When I went with my SO to his family's Christmas party/reunion, I was pretty much the only girl there with straight APL hair (that was not a wig or weave) and I kinda felt a little out of place, I was thinking that maybe I should have put it up because I didn't want them to think I was trying to show off. I thought I was alone in thinking that.

my family wants me to show it off and they are upset that I dont. Like genuinly upset.

 

[ebaby]

When I wear wigs and weaves it is because I am pressed for time or feeling lazy...I wear my natural when I want to feel unique, sexy, and beautiful. I hate looking like everyone else. In the end it is only mE!!!

 

[Nonie]

Nope, I never feel out of place coz I honestly like to be unique and rarely ever pay attention to what is "in fashion" or others are doing. I think this is something that you can be born with or that can be learned over time.

I think if you found out what brings out the best in you and then did it and went out on a limb daring to show that best to the world--like really hold your head high and feel beautiful even if you are the only one looking like that--you'd be surprised at how folks would respond positively. You may even discover how short you'd been selling yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses.

There's nothing cool about blending in. I love these words by Marianne Williamson. They can be applied to all areas of your life, even this (Bold, mine--because I think it applies here):

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

So OP, stand tall and be special--in other words, be one of a kind, irreplaceable...because there is none like you!

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Well, I live in Southern CA, land of weaves, wigs, relaxers, and braids. Sometimes, I do, especially when I'm searching for stylists or products for natural hair. I have to search high and low. But, sometimes, I don't, especially when I stand out in a crowd.

 

[AlliCat]

I love wearing my high braidout bun especially with a side bang...it makes me feel unique and I'm sure people are always guessing (is that her real hair, is she natural or relaxed, etc). Out of all the hairstyles I do on my real hair -- a bun is my favorite because my hair is protected while looking cute.

When I wear halfwigs (curly ones) I feel cute too, but when I see a girl rocking her real hair I feel a bit "extra", like I should be wearing my real hair too. maybe these "weave-wearers" feel the same way. Like they wish they could wear their real hair, but they feel naked without it

 

[AlliCat]

my family wants me to show it off and they are upset that I dont. Like genuinly upset.

This is the same with one of my friends She's MBL natural and always says I should wear my down, and how cute it would look etc; she gets so confused about it, like she can't understand why I hide my hair all the time

 

[SmilingElephant]

Lol!! This thread was on time for me today!

I just got back from Target and I dropped my sis off to work prior to going there…I didn't really do anything to my hair besides jumped outta bed wash my face, brush my teef …throw some water and put my hair in a puff and fluffed it.

So I felt like I looked a drug addict bc I put NO effort into it. And this clear woman gave me a nice compliment and said she loved my hair

And they lived happily ever after

 

[ebaby]

Lol!! This thread was on time for me today!

I just got back from Target and I dropped my sis off to work prior to going there…I didn't really do anything to my hair besides jumped outta bed wash my face, brush my teef …throw some water and put my hair in a puff and fluffed it.

So I felt like I looked a drug addict bc I put NO effort into it. And this clear woman gave me a nice compliment and said she loved my hair

And they lived happily ever after

Man, when I go to work clear people make me feel like Tyra Banks...they love my fro and actually think I go to the salon to get my hair done in that particular style...I tell them that is the way God made me...on the other hand when I go back to the country to MY folks, they act a fool about my hair, not the generational curses, or the other million of problems they could focus on, or their 3 inches of relaxed hair (not short by choice hair). We really need to get it together, EVERYTHING GOD MADE WAS AND IS GOOD.

 

[ms.blue]

When I wear my hair in its natural state, I tend to get stares an not the good kind of stares either. Also no guys are checking me out either but when I'm a wearing my weaves, lawd I get so much attention. IA, men are full of it.

 

[EllePixie]

Man, when I go to work clear people make me feel like Tyra Banks...they love my fro and actually think I go to the salon to get my hair done in that particular style...I tell them that is the way God made me...on the other hand when I go back to the country to MY folks, they act a fool about my hair, not the generational curses, or the other million of problems they could focus on, or their 3 inches of relaxed hair (not short by choice hair). We really need to get it together, EVERYTHING GOD MADE WAS AND IS GOOD.

My hair has spoiled me rotten. If I go out to run errands, it's out of the ordinary if I don't receive at least one compliment on my hair.

 

[JaszG]

I remember feeling that way at my high school prom. I was the only brown girl without a weave (I went to a very small high school) but it was still odd!

 

[SpicyPisces]

I don't feel weird about so many women around me being weaved up, I just feel weird about me always being in a bun. I don't mind bunning, it's just that everyone around me wears loose hair (whether it's their own or a weave) and it makes me want to wear my hair loose. But then I remember how I'm trying to reach MBL in June and that I just trimmed an inch of damaged ends off last month, so I'm trying to retain as much growth as possible.

 

[Solitude]

I think my weave-envy kind of died today. I'm at a track meet and it's rather windy. I was silently admiring one girl's hair when the wind started blowing and I saw all of her tracks!

I get natural hair envy occasionally but I usually just give a compliment and KIM.

 

[EllePixie]

I think my weave-envy kind of died today. I'm at a track meet and it's rather windy. I was silently admiring one girl's hair when the wind started blowing and I saw all of her tracks!

This is why I'm too scared to get a weave. These kinds of scenarios make me get over my desire to rock WL bone straight hair for a month or so every time.

 

[aquajoyice]

There aren't a lot of naturals walking around in my are so I definitely stand out. But it doesn't bother me. I like showing others the beauty of AA hair. I'm looking forward to summer because i'm going to rock wash n' go's all the time.

 

[bride91501]

I tend not to feel like "going out" until it's my "hair out" week. There are lots of natural heads in DC, so that in itself isn't unusual, but I don't often see many super kinky, big hair textures like mine in loose styles in all their big glory lol. Honestly, I love the attention I get- I've always loved standing out so the big crazy hair just goes with the crazy everything else

 

[PearlyCurly]

I do sometimes feel crazy when i do wash n gos, because i do not have time to air dry so i just run outside with a paper towel and water running down my neck..i also occasionally have conditioner on my ear

 

[Vashti]

I used to feel a little out of place when I first went natural years ago unless I was in braids. Now I rarely feel out of place. I might get the occasional side eye, to which I just ignore it and keep going. I never get that look from women who have nice hair of their own.

 

[manter26]

I feel odd when I walk around campus with my hair straight and I see other naturals. I have the strange urge to let them know I'm one of them too, lol. I can never keep my hair straight for more than 4 days anyway because I miss my curls so much. When I go out with big hair, I feel different and out of place but in a good way. Big hair is an attention getter.

 

[Ms Lala]

Nope!! Big hair and all I'm comfortable just doing me wherever I am.

 

[Solitude]

I feel odd when I walk around campus with my hair straight and I see other naturals. I have the strange urge to let them know I'm one of them too, lol. I can never keep my hair straight for more than 4 days anyway because I miss my curls so much. When I go out with big hair, I feel different and out of place but in a good way. Big hair is an attention getter.

Sometimes when I have my hair in a bun and I see a lady with long hair, I wish my hair was down so I can like show that I have a little hang-time, too. I'm going through a weird phase right now where when my hair is up, I wish I had worn it down and when it's down it's annoying me so bad that I wish I had worn it up. I'm trying to bun to BSL, but it's taking forever.

On another note...to those with natural hair, when people stare - or at least when I do, it's probably out of admiration. I really don't see a lot of jacked-up natural hair IRL. It's mostly very full and thick and healthy-looking. One of my friends has hair so amazingly full and thick with a natural sheen to it that I can't believe the thin, brittle relaxed hair that she used to have belonged to the same person.

 

[Solitude]

Nope, I never feel out of place coz I honestly like to be unique and rarely ever pay attention to what is "in fashion" or others are doing. I think this is something that you can be born with or that can be learned over time.

I think if you found out what brings out the best in you and then did it and went out on a limb daring to show that best to the world--like really hold your head high and feel beautiful even if you are the only one looking like that--you'd be surprised at how folks would respond positively. You may even discover how short you'd been selling yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses.

There's nothing cool about blending in. I love these words by Marianne Williamson. They can be applied to all areas of your life, even this (Bold, mine--because I think it applies here):



So OP, stand tall and be special--in other words, be one of a kind, irreplaceable...because there is none like you!

Nonie

I just saw this post! Thanks for the words of encouragement...like seriously, it really does go back to confidence and I can't figure out why mine is lacking lately.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I feel out of place in braids, which is why I only wear them when I'm in Hawaii or some other tropical location where I can swim lol. But other than that no, unless you count walking by a bunch of women with huge weaves lol.

 

[LongLeggedLife]

Thats funny, no, Im on the opposite end of the spectrum, as I have been putting off a short quick weave style I want because I'm afraid I'll feel too 'regular'.

 

[keepithealthy]

Nope I love it!! I actually don't like wearing my hair straight or wearing weaves because then I feel all plain. I feel like my natural hair gives me that extra zing. I get way more compliments on my natural hair than I ever did on my apl relaxed hair. I only wish my hair was longer!