Going Natural Starting TODAY! Oh lawd! I'm Scared!

[MizzBrown]

I guess I should mark my calendar huh? I got tired of seeing all the natural, curly, 4a/b heads on here. I'm jealous. I could at least TRY right? Tired of fighting the naps anyway....

Yes i did my searches, and yes I subscribed to the "Transitioning Support" Thread. When i look at pictures of myself as a little girl w/ my BIG afro and hair down my back after my mom burned me w/ the pressing comb, i want it back!

I give a lot of credit to "Bubblinbrownsuga"..I saw her siggy and stared at it for about 3 minutes and said "That's how I want my hair to look!"..and went off to stalk her for her fotki.

Here's my story:

-Relaxed 4a/b hair.

-Been relaxed since probably 4-5 yrs old because my mother just "couldn't take it anymore" Her exact words.

-Have NEVER worn a wig, weave, extensions, or real braids. Just flat twists w/ added hair during the summer and i only left them in for a week.

-Currently on my 2nd stretch. I'm approaching 10 weeks Post.

-Normally relaxed at 6-8 weeks post.

-Asked my SO what he thought? A little concerned. He's African and i teased him and said it would be just like you were in the motherland again! LOL

-Asked my mom what she thought. She said "No, i dont think you will look right. When you were younger it was cute cause you were a baby..u aint a baby no more!" WTH?

MY CONCERNS:
-My hair is cut in an asymmetric hairstyle and i can pull it in a tight, low ponytail but is it enough hair to catch so i can get some kinky twists?

-I dont want to wear wigs, or weaves.

-I use a blowdryer on EVERY wash.(wash 1-2x a week) How is that gonna affect the quality of my NG? I work 2 jobs, i cant spend all that time on my hair.

-What does TWA stand for? I cant find description.

-I cannot braid, cornrow, or twist my hair or have much time to learn so my options are limited in styling.

ALL ADVICE WELCOME! TIA!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Hey Hon

I have no advice because I'm not natural, but I just want to wish you luck on your journey - I will be watching closely!

Wow, perming since 4 or 5? Yikes. Your mom's statement that "you wouldn't look right" - that is what keeps me from going natural. I feel like I look best with relaxed hair (although I really wouldn't know since I've not been natural since I was a kid). But, as a natural sistah in college once said to me during a debate about hair, "It's YOUR own hair. You can't NOT look right in your own hair." I don't necessarily agree with that argument (because just look at all the good that comes from makeovers with hair dying and weaves and cuts, etc., etc.), but it's something that I've always kept in the back of my mind.

Good luck!!!! Make sure to chart your journey in a fotki!

 

[PaperClip]

I'm good at giving emotional support! (((HUGS!)))

You can do this. It is a commitment. Be very clear to yourself as to why you'd like to transition. Because you'll have to remind yourself consistently about this reason/purpose for this goal. Our society is not "natural hair friendly", if you will.... If it were easy, everybody would do it, right?

TWA = teeny weeny afro

Honestly, nappturality.com helped me with the mental stuff re. going natural. LCHF helped me with the hair care stuff, esp. since I knew I wanted the option to straighten. But every so often I would get tempted to relax, esp. since seeing such beautiful hair on the board. (ANOTHER PLUG for an EXCLUSIVE LCHF NATURAL HAIR FORUM!)

Continue to explore the boards to build a strategy as you advance through your transition. One technique that I think is so great (and I wish I had knew about when I was transitioning) is ROLLER-SETTING. I transitioned with half-wigs and weaves. I had planned to wait a year before the Big Chop but ended up doing that after 10 months. Got tired of dealing with the two textures.

I think you've picked a great time to start your transition. By the time the warmer months get here, you will have some length and you can wear your hair out, if you're comfortable with the length.

Be encouraged! You can do this!

 

[january noir]

Hey Hon

I have no advice because I'm not natural, but I just want to wish you luck on your journey - I will be watching closely!

Wow, perming since 4 or 5? Yikes. Your mom's statement that "you wouldn't look right" - that is what keeps me from going natural. I feel like I look best with relaxed hair (although I really wouldn't know since I've not been natural since I was a kid). But, as a natural sistah in college once said to me during a debate about hair, "It's YOUR own hair. You can't NOT look right in your own hair." I don't necessarily agree with that argument (because just look at all the good that comes from makeovers with hair dying and weaves and cuts, etc., etc.), but it's something that I've always kept in the back of my mind.

Good luck!!!! Make sure to chart your journey in a fotki!

Hey MizzBrown! I was looking at you fotki last night! I love your hair and your hair cut is fierce! But anyway, what Glib said! I wish you the best. You'll look great because you are a pretty woman!

Me and Glib will both be watching!

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I'm sooooo with you on this. We can be buddies if you want. I am sick of my relaxer and been sick of it for a minute now. I think that I am going to transition without BC'ing but I am scared because I've never had to deal with two different textures, I've always BC'd in the past.

The first time I went natural, my mother was the only one who thought that it might be pretty. She was my greatest supporter. Everyone else? ugf! They thought I was CRAZY. This was back in probably '98 or so when the natural thing was just regaining some popularity (at least in my city Cincinnati at the time). After I came back from Mexico, I went in to this shop and told her to cut my hair where the braids stopped and walked out with all natural hair...I couldn't believe it. I felt so free and it fit my free-spirited personality sooooo well. Well, I let it grow (about shoulder length unstretched) then when I moved here to ATL I got a relaxer...BIG MISTAKE. I got it cut super short and wore it like that for a long time. Then, in '06 when I found out I was preggers, I had my husband shave it off. I was FREE again! Not so fast, being pregnant a second time, I got really big really fast and began to feel ugly, well, here comes the relaxer again. I hadn't really regretted it until a few months ago but here lately I am just too through with it. Really, I am ready to shave it off again and just wear a wig for real.

Matter of fact, I could get a wig like your actual haircut because I think that is really cute.

So anyway, sorry to give you my life story but I guess I had to get that out! If you want a buddy through this, let me know.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Mizzbrown you CAN do it!!! I am very happy for you One word of caution though, don't do it because you want your hair to look like someone else's because your hair/texture may not end up like another sistas on the board. And also don't worry about what your mom or anyone else is going to think or say. Do it for your self and for the love of natchal hair. I just know your hair is going to be gorgeous because it already is now

 

[Blkprincess]

Congratulations!!!! I'll be watching for your progress...maybe your progress might give me the courage to do the same in the future. good luck

 

[silvergirl]

congrats on your decision!! cant wait to see your journey.

 

[katote]

Congrats!

I made the decision 6 yrs ago, and I have not looked back since. Yes there are days that I get frustrated, and sometimes wanting a change. That is normal. I remember all the negative comments I got from friends and family members. You can't please everyone. Some of the same people that made those negative comments, are the same folks now loving my hair and impressed that I stuck it out this long.

Just remember it is your hair. You are free to do whatever you want to your hair.

 

[nappity]

I

Here's my story:
-My hair is cut in an asymmetric hairstyle and i can pull it in a tight, low ponytail but is it enough hair to catch so i can get some kinky twists? Yes you have enough hair to catch with kinky twists, make sure though that the hair is of good quality and treat the twists as if it was your own hair. To remove- use a braid spray separate and detangle ala crown and glory method. You'll retain length. Keep the twists in for 8 week stretches. clean your scalp with Witch Hazel if your scalp gets funky. DO NOT WAS YOUR HAIR WITH THE TWISTS IN ! The 3 textures will mat.

-I dont want to wear wigs, or weaves. You can also braid your hair in box braids- I dont recommend that you get the micro braids. [SIZE=-1]www.nasabb.com tells you why you shouldn't use teeny tiny braids on your hair.[/SIZE]

-I use a blowdryer on EVERY wash.(wash 1-2x a week) How is that gonna affect the quality of my NG? I work 2 jobs, i cant spend all that time on my hair. If you are in braids or twists- there is no need to wash your hair that often. Clean your scalp with witch hazel. If you have itchies add some tea tree oil to the witch hazel. In my experience it works!

-What does TWA stand for? Teeny Weenie Afro.

-I cannot braid, cornrow, or twist my hair or have much time to learn so my options are limited in styling. You may have to go to a professional to do them for you- watch that the braids aren't too tight. Twisting is easy- just do it with super wet hair and a good leave in. A lot of nappies love Giovanni Direct. I do too

Every nappy should have the following in his/her arsenal a wide tooth comb- I mean a really wide tooth comb. A spray bottle filled with distilled water and some leave in condish. Banana clips to work on hair in sections and a satin granny cap and/or satin pillows.
Check out Zzirvingj's interview- she talks about working with only saturated and wet hair and not even getting out of the shower to style. She's right. Its my saving grace.
What I have found with most newly nappies is the shock of how dry their hair is - You'll conquer this by finding the right products for your hair. I only wash my hair with conditioner. My hair makes a fist when exposed to soap and shampoos.( Black Power for real!!!) Shrinkage ( having hair that looks far shorter than it really is) is part and parcel of being a type 4 natural.

Lastly- check out www.nappturality.com to get a good idea of what products& procedures work and to assist you in the transition. Having natural hair is not the same as relaxed hair- you have to comb it and part it and even wash and condition it differently. If the mind is focused- the hair will follow.
What can I say about the opinions of your friends and family? Nothing- People are naturally resistant to change. If you really want to be natural- their words will only inspire you to continue


ALL ADVICE WELCOME! TIA!

HTH- We are all looking forward to assisting you with your journey

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Hey babe
Don't be scurred. I will answer you questions thoroughly privately I don't want someone to attack me from 'keeping it real' and display my response to you elsewhere

 

[Southernbella.]

Congrats MizzBrown!

You can do it. It does take patience and it does get frustrating, but trust me, once you see that newgrowth coming in all soft and kinky and coily, you will be glad you did it.

Good luck! We're here for you!

 

[glamazon386]

Congrats on your decision. You have plenty of ladies here to help you along the way.

ETA: Your hair is definitely long enough to catch. You only need maybe 2-3 inches of hair to get individual braids/twists.

 

[MizzBrown]

Thanks for the support/compliments ladies!

SHISHI,
I'm down for buddying up!..I'll be PM'in you with my issues! When it starts to get really hard for me past the 12 week mark, i'll be consulting my stylist and start looking at pictures to find so i can get some twists.

2 months of not having to worry about my hair as much will help me out a lot I think when i get it twisted up.

NAPPITY,
I signed up to Naturality.com today and I've been navigating the site. I'll be updating my fotki w/ my NG pics once i past 12 weeks post.

 

[Whimsy]

mizz brown!!! hoooooraaaaaaay!!! you're going to have a wonderful journey and fall in love wit your hair (and ur self) all over again!!!!

nappturality will be an excellent resource for you. and you'll get tons of support and hints here as well, the transitioning forum is great too.

are you excited?

 

[DozenRoses99]

Congrats! I'm still in the process of making my transition to natural. I had never considered going natural for a long time because I didn't think that I could handle it, but I now know that I can. The good part of going natural is having healthier hair. The part I'm trying to get used to is the shrinkage. This is the reason that I'm still stubbornly holding on to the relaxed ends...

 

[janiebaby]

Mizz? ShiShi? Can yall make it a trio? I decided I want to transition about a week ago and I need some support because I don't have the heart to go through with the BC right now.

 

[scarcity21]

I'm good at giving emotional support! (((HUGS!)))

You can do this. It is a commitment. Be very clear to yourself as to why you'd like to transition. Because you'll have to remind yourself consistently about this reason/purpose for this goal. Our society is not "natural hair friendly", if you will.... If it were easy, everybody would do it, right?

TWA = teeny weeny afro

Honestly, nappturality.com helped me with the mental stuff re. going natural. LCHF helped me with the hair care stuff, esp. since I knew I wanted the option to straighten. But every so often I would get tempted to relax, esp. since seeing such beautiful hair on the board. (ANOTHER PLUG for an EXCLUSIVE LCHF NATURAL HAIR FORUM!)

Continue to explore the boards to build a strategy as you advance through your transition. One technique that I think is so great (and I wish I had knew about when I was transitioning) is ROLLER-SETTING. I transitioned with half-wigs and weaves. I had planned to wait a year before the Big Chop but ended up doing that after 10 months. Got tired of dealing with the two textures.

I think you've picked a great time to start your transition. By the time the warmer months get here, you will have some length and you can wear your hair out, if you're comfortable with the length.

Be encouraged! You can do this!

^^^^ what she said...Congrats on deciding to transition...the journey may be frustrating attimes but I think its well worth it in the end...If u have any questions...u know we're here to help....HHG

 

[MizzBrown]

UPDATE!

Just told my sister i was going natural.

Her response: Laughs then walks away..then comes back and says "Why? You aint been natural since you were what? 4 yrs old. Why? What's the purpose? it doesn't make a lick of sense"

Me: "Because I can! that's why, why not? I wanna see what my real hair looks like!"

Sister:"You can't deal with yo naps at 4 weeks post"

Me:"I can still try, and I'll just get braids/twists to help me along the way"

Sister:"But you wash your like every 3 days, why would u want to do that?"

Me: Shrugs shoulders...."So! I'm gonna try to go natural!"

Sister: Shakes head.."whatever, you aint gonna make it, that's just stupid, there is no point"...walks away shakin her head & sighing.

Now i knew i would get a negative response from her hypocritical a$$ but the way she said it pissed me off.

Why say Why? Why not? Why does she put a relaxer in her hair? Why does she choose to get cornrows, put on the clothes she wears, eat the foods she likes to eat? WHY?

She said the same thing when I cut my hair. We had to make a bet that I could go almost a year w/o cutting my hair cause i get scissor happy sometimes and I made it and she owed me a trip to the salon for free and when i went, I cut of my hair after i won the bet.

Now how am i gonna get past all these hypocritical, negative comments for the next few years while i'm transitioning?

And you are SUPPOSED to wash your hair when its dirty. I've always been that way. Natural heads around here can wash their hair everyday vs being relaxed and washing every week or longer....but i didnt get into haircare w/ her.

Now i'm bout to get militant about it..I'm pissed off!

 

[tiffers]

Aw Mizz Brown, congratulations! I don't have any advice, cause I don't know the first thing about transitioning. When I do transition (too much of a wimp to do it any time soon ) I'm gonna do it the way SouthernTease has been transitioning (www.southerntease.net) she hasn't had a lot of breakage and her progress has been amazing.

Congratulations, girl!

 

[chellero]

Good Luck. I've gone back and forth between natural and relaxed quite a few times! You'll love having natural hair. Looking at bubblin's hair makes me want to go natural again too.

 

[Colliecole]

Congrats Mizz Brown!!!!!!!! Yay, another fellow nappy head!

I just wanted to comment on the whole sister convo…

When I was about 3 months post and hating my hair I had a thought…I'd NEVER knew my true hair texture. My story is similar to yours. Mom relaxed me at 6 yrs old because she couldn’t handle the thickness (she probably could've but it was just the thing to do at that time ) So in actuality the only experience I had with my natural hair came in the form of NG, and that texture sucked because it was often SCAB HAIR because I was over processed most of the time! WHO KNEW! It wasn’t until that 3 month stretch I noticed “Hey my root hair has a nice coily pattern to it” It was literally like touching somebody else’s hair on my head. So your sister needs to remember the saying “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” and shut her face, because she couldn’t have “tried” the hair that’s growing out of your head. Honestly, nobody (not your mom or you) has given that hair a chance yet.

I think the recent BOOM in long time relaxed heads going 100% natural is because we were raised in a period of time where relaxed was The Way. If you look at our parents (women in their 50+) a lot of them were young ladies in the 60’s when the afros were in. But if you were born in the 70’s 80’s…we all missed that era, and the relaxer took its territory. I’m sure 90% of black women under 30 had a Just For Me relaxer kit that started it all

Do your thang Mizz!! There will be haters anytime you do something new.