Has anyone ever heard of relaxing ONLY the ENDS?

[Solitude]

Don't do it! It'll just cause breakage like others have said.

Perhaps the product you are using to detangle is not giving enough slip. The tightly curly method comes to mind: http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome/

I'm currently reading her book. Let us know how it goes and good luck! You're doing the right thing by taking care of her hair and trying to find solutions.

 

[4bslbound]

I would not relax the ends. 4B/C hair can be very difficult when transitioning because of the two textures and you will be artificially simulating this. The ends will tangle more (trust me, Im transitioning only I have SUPER thick hair and that makes it probably more difficult to detangle. Why dont you detangle is very small sections and braid or twist it to stretch the hair, then go back over it?

So far, you've gotten great advice

 

[Moniquenuss]

Pleas don't relax her ends. I am transitioning and have 4 something hair annnnnnndddddddd omg I can't wait to bc!!!! The tangles will be even worst trust me. My hair knots at the ends only. IMO you will regret it and either relax the whole head or cut the relaxed ends

 

[Nonie]

@Dayjoy, I was panicking reading this and can't get to the end of it because I'm about to hyperventilate with impatience as I am itching to jump in.

Here's one thing you need to know about 4B hair or 4C whatever! You cannot take shrunken hair comb or brush (<---froths at the mouth at the thought of a brush through the hair. Nonie no likey brushes ) and then leave it loose and expect it to stay that way. It has to be "trained" albeit temporarily. If the hair isn't well moisturized (on the inside), then any moisture from the air will be absorbed into the hair and shrinkage will happen even faster.

Here's what I suggest (and you can take this up from whatever stage you are at now): When you wash her hair, make sure you first comb through a small section and braid that section. Comb through another section and braid it. When you have about 3 small sections undo them and then braid them together to ensure they stay detangled. (The reason for this is if you work on a large section, it'll overwhelm you. And if you work on small sections and don't braid them, they will shrink up. You end up undoing those small sections to create the sort of braid you would normally create if the hair wasn't quick to shrink.)** You must do that to all her hair so that by the time you're ready to wash they are all detangled and locked in braids so they cannot shrink up. And when you braid, braid to the ends or as close to them as possible so you stretch them out too.

Wet the hair while in braids and apply shampoo to each braids. Please use a moisturizing shampoo. At the risk of being stoned, I will tell you not to use CON. Please use any of the Giovanni moisturizing shampoos or Nexxus Therappe. The idea is a shampoo that is going to be adding moisture as well as making hair slippery. Squeeze each braid to get shampoo inside it, then use a wide comb to carefully undo the one braid. Stretch out the hair with one hand as you run the comb through with the other. Go to a smaller comb if you are able to. You may even find you can comb through with a fine-tooth comb. But if you can get a comb with teeth as wide as that metal pick with a fist, you're doing good. This is how I suggest you comb. (Notice how I stretch the hair first so the comb has an open path).

Plait that section after combing through so it stays that way. And do the same to all the others. Notice what I am saying: you do not give the hair a chance to shrink back on itself.

When it's time to rinse, as the shower head sprays the head, (get one of those attachment that has a hose so that you DD can hold it toward your head and free you to work on her hair. Undo one plait, and as the water runs through it, use the help of the water stretching the hair to make the comb go through easily. In other words you first spray the whole head, then focus on one braid and let all the water run though it. Undo it to ensure you rinse properly and as water runs through it, comb through. You'll find that the water stretches out the hair but you can also use your hand. Then w/ water still running through the hair, braid it up and focus on rinsing another braid. Once all are rinsed, they should still be locked in braids fully detangled. Now comes the fun part: conditioning.

Apply a moisturizing conditioner to each braid, then undo one at a time and add more conditioner if needed and then comb through. Now you don't want to add too much till it's like glue. If it starts to feel that way, you need to wet it. You want the conditioner to make the hair feel slimy/slippery/smooth. I call this the fun part coz if you're going to enjoy combing the hair in the method I showed above, it is at the stage. The vid you saw above was conditioner in my hair. Once again, you will braid that up and then move on to another braid and smother it in conditioner and braid it up. If you have time to DC with heat, this would be a good time to do so...otherwise just leaving the conditioner on for a good spell is OK.

You will rinse like you did the shampoo and again braid it up. Then comes the most important part, IMO. The ACV rinse. I suggest getting a basin and filling it with water then adding 1/4 cup or 4 tablespoons of ACV. When I'm washing my hair, I just kneel in the tub and bend forward dunking my head in the solution. I then undo a braid and comb it while submerged in the solution to make sure all my strands are bathed nicely in it. Then I braid it back and do the same to another. If it's easier you can mix a very dilute solution of ACV in a bottle and then towel dry her braids after rinsing off the conditioner, and then re-wet each braid with the ACV spray. This way you know you are coating the strands with cuticle closing acidity. You can undo to make sure each is coated, then be very gentle stretching it to run the comb through it and rebraid it...making sure to braid as close to the tips of the hair as possible. The towel dry the braids and let them airdry fully w/o undoing.

When you undo them, you can use comb to start the undoing the point at the end of the braid, then use fingers, the hair should be stretched but still feel rough. I hope others will chime in on what "moisturizer" works well to keep hair feeling soft w/o shrinkage. I'm an S Curl whore so I don't mind shrinkage but I always feel as if coconut oil would be ideal for making hair feel moisturized w/o shrinkage. (I apologize for not knowing great moisturizers, but if there's one you like, then this is where to use it.) You will undo a braid and part a very narrow section and apply the moisturizer from base to ends as if it were relaxer. You will comb through and then do the same to the next. Remember, the goal is always not to let the hair shrink and if it were fully dry, you should see it behaving better by not shrinking up too much. If you can cornrow the hair after applying moisturizer, you will find the ends will be stretched out ever better. Or, if you find that when you braid single plaits you just can't get that tail end stretched, then you may need to thread the end: ask your daughter to hold the length of the braid so you're not pulling at her scalp, and you stretch the tip as you wrap it in thread completely. You'll be surprised at how smooth and straight those ends will look/feel.

Your post broke my heart because 4B hair is so easy to handle once you just get it. I wish you were not so far away, I'd love to do your daughter's hair. Now you make me want to figure out what "moisturizer" doesn't cause shrinkage but moisturizes as well as S Curl. BTW, if shrinkage isn't a problem, then I recommend S Curl and can direct you to a post where I shared how to use it.

I'm sorry if this post was late...but I haven't had a chance to get on till now. Here's a big hug.

ETA** I decided to come back to this post to show you that even after wearing braid extensions for over a year and my hair is this stretched:
FF to 1:14 to get a glimpse of how stretched my hair is after being in braids, as I would undo a few braids, I would put them in bigger plaits as seen below:

Actually at the top corner of the top pic, you can see the base of a microbraid, but I didn't wait to undo all the braids and deal with tangles. I was making sure I braid them up ASAP to keep m hair stretched.

And like your DD, shrinkage doesn't take long to creep in if I leave the hair out. Below is that bottom braid undone...and you can see the hair is curling back on itself.

I don't use products when I wear braids so the dry hair doesn't have some form of coating to keep moisture out. But because I know this, I do not ever just leave my hair out unless I've taken precautions to make sure it'll not be a nightmare to deal with.

 

[Nonie]

After reading more, y'all are making me feel like I need to take leave from work to do experiments on blowdrying my hair to see what would stop it reverting soon afterward (I suspect John Frieda could fix that prob...the spray and serum :scratchch) oke: mscocoface ...as well figure out what other products beside S Curl could leave my hair feeling like it does with S Curl.

I seem to recall a time when I would apply a serum to hair after DCing and it'd feel soft for days. Strands also seemed to separate and not cling to each other...but it's been so long since I've done this that I almost think I imagined it.

 

[Dayjoy]

Have you ever tried to baggy her ends overnight?

No. I'll have to try that. Her ends do seem drier than the length.

I wouldn't suggest relaxing the ends. Have you tried using a heavier moisturizer on the ends, such as Qhemet AOHC or the Olive & Honey Balm?

The only time I worry about the ends tangling is when I blow dry and flat iron it. Can heavy moisturizers like those be used before heat?

Don't do it! It'll just cause breakage like others have said.

Perhaps the product you are using to detangle is not giving enough slip. The tightly curly method comes to mind: http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome/

I'm currently reading her book. Let us know how it goes and good luck! You're doing the right thing by taking care of her hair and trying to find solutions.

I think I need her book too.



Nonie--Thank you SO MUCH for your detailed advice. I'm going to try the things you said too. When you talked about "threading" did you mean LITERALLY wrapping the ends in thread? I've never heard of that. I'd fear the thread could get wrapped up in the hair too.

 

[alima]

I know every in this thread has said no but my mom used to only relax my ends when for a few years. I want to say from when I was about 12-15.

My hair is very weird. For the most part its about 3a/3b but the ends are 3c. My hair used to shrink up ALOT. And my ends used to get so tangled. The ends of my hair were completely different that the rest of my hair. My mom decided to relax my ends to make my hair more manageable and so I could wash and go. It helped me alot. This was a few years ago so I don't remember if I experienced breakage but I maintained about the same length of hair so I don't think so. She used a mild children's relaxer and left it in for the least amount of recommended time. You couldn't tell that my ends were relaxed because it blended in with my looser curls. She stayed away from the root because I have very fine hair and it probably would have fallen out.

Having my ends relaxed helped me learn how to do and take care of my hair better. I could also wear it out more often.

This is going to sound strange but I think going through puberty changed my hair. My whole pattern got looser which is why I stopped using the relaxer. I figured out how to deal with my ends better now that they were more manageable. I don't really have pictures of my hair on my computer from when I used to relax the ends. The one in the green tank top was with my ends relaxed. I've also included pictures so you can see the difference in my hair now. In the pictures I have gotten a keratin treatment done so the ends are more manageable (they are usually curlier).

I'm not saying its the best thing to do but it did work for me. I'd def recommend reading Nonie's post because she had alot of great tips because if you can avoid relaxer, its all the better.


(sry for the pictures being weird. The files were too big so I tried cropping them so I could upload them onto here. The two of my curls are from the time and day)

 

[Nonie]

@Nonie--Thank you SO MUCH for your detailed advice. I'm going to try the things you said too. When you talked about "threading" did you mean LITERALLY wrapping the ends in thread? I've never heard of that. I'd fear the thread could get wrapped up in the hair too.

Yes, when you wrap, you stretch the hair and then wrap it. It's like banding but unlike banding where you leave spaces, with threading you basically wrap the hair fully while it's stretched so it cannot revert. We used to have that done on our hair and it'd come out straight as if pressed. And it is because it's stretched out during the wrapping that it cannot get tangled or shrink back. Basically the rods you make are stiff and if you had someone who pulls do your hair, you couldn't lie on them comfortably. I had that happen when my mom didn't do my hair. My mom was extra gentle so they were easy to lie on. This won't be a problem for you if you just do ends only though.

This is the way threading was done when I was growing up ...although the style was not this one...but regardless of what style was created, the hair was completely covered as shown below:

In the video below, the lady is doing the same threading as above but she's not covering the hair completely as in the above images. But you can still see how much it's stretched the hair. So you can imagine if the hair is stretched out as you wrap--which is why I said your daughter should hold the base of the braid so you're not pulling away at the scalp as you wrap, it shouldn't hurt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KupC-8obcaQ

The thread they used in Kenya was a thick black cotton thread like you use for crocheting:

Or they would use shiny black ribbons they call raffia--that might be what the last lady above used:

 

[ms-gg]

My hair is always tangled no matter how well I "detangle" because that is just the nature of my hair. The goal of detangling for me is to remove shed hair, and not to have tangle free hair, because that will never happen. Natural hair coils and recoils around each other and it will tangle.

I agree with some others and I say you should just make sure you keep her hair stretched out at all times. Wash her hair in braids/twists, and dry her hair in braids/twists. This is the only way I have found to reduce tangling.

 

[Pompous Blue]

I am having the MOST DIFFICULT time with my DD's hair. I'm posting this here instead of in the Children's forum because I know traffic here is way heavier. I think she is 4c (ZERO curl pattern, never shiny-just a sheen, shrinkage at over 50%) with fine strands. She is almost 9 years old and I am now figuring out that her entire hair isn't as difficult to manage as I thought. It's just the ends. Detangling is a challenge because of the ends. I can get the comb (or TT) through except for the ends. I start at the ends and detangle up, but by the time I get through the length the ends are all tangled up again like I never combed through them. I thought the ends were bad and have been trimming. She has gone from BSL to APL and is losing that. I don't want to cut again because she doesn't need it. There are one or two splits here and there, but she doesn't need a trim. She wanted her hair straight and I couldn't get a good blow-dry because I can't take the brush through the ends. There were little 1/8-1/4" pieces of hair all over the floor. I was so depressed. I wanted her to leave my house for college at 18 still natural. Now I almost don't care. I've been thinking about heat training, but the ends don't "take." What I want to do now is comb relaxer through the last 1/4" of her hair. I feel like if I could comb through the bottom of her hair that it wouldn't break off like it does now. I don't want her hair relaxed, I just want to be able to detangle it, put down the comb, and still be able to comb it again a minute later.

I REALLY appreciate anyone reading this and any advice you can give.

Dayjoy The bolded was my hair. I used to do little dustings once a month. That didn't help. I tried clarifying, chelating and doing baking soda rinses. Nothing helped and I continued to dust. This went on for months.

Until purely by accident I discovered bentonite clay. Through an allergic reaction to a growth serum, I had to apply bentonite clay to my scalp to stop the reaction. After rinsing it out and detangling my hair, I noticed my ends were not grabbing each other and not letting go. I could comb through them!

What a discovery!

To make a long story short, I no longer constantly dust my hair; nor do I use clarifying or chelating shampoos.

My clay preference is rhassoul clay. I still use bentonite clay, too. I started out doing a rhassoul mask once a wk for a month. Then 2 times a month; now just once a month.

I don't know "how" my ends stay tangle-free; but the rhassoul and bentonite saved my ends.

I can now finger-comb and finger-detangle my hair. Every once in a while, I may find an SSK. My hair is soft and manageable and I never thought that was possible.

I've also added oils and hibiscus to the mask.

Some oils I've added are (only 1 oil at a time):
Argan Oil
Evening Primrose Oil
Flaxsee Oil
Neem Oil (Only did this once; had an itchy scalp and one treatment cleared that up)

I've used distilled water, rose water and lavender water to mix with the clay.

I know in some YT videos they use a whisk to mix their mixture. That takes too long. I use an immersion or hand-held blender and I'm done in 30 or less seconds. My mixture, also, is the consistency of yogurt.

I apply to my hair and scalp, sit under the steamer (optional) for 20 minutes and walk around with it in my hair for another 30 to 40 minutes. It never dries. And if it did, it will wash away easily once water hits it.

Sorry to be so wordy. HTH.

But 4Z hair is not that difficult to handle. This makes wash day a breeze for me. And it is a pleasure to twist my hair w/o feeling rough ends.

 

[MissMusic]

I never have. I bought it, but just wasn't sure when I needed it. Can I apply it to the ends only, or will it work only on the parts that need it?

Apply everywhere and it will work where necessary. I would recommend using Roux Porosity control conditioner, and see if that makes a difference.

 

[SuchaLady]

Would you not be comfortable sending her to a salon? There are lots of cute kiddy styles that could relieve some of the stress and double as protective styles. A lot of the time I wish I was still young enough to get some of the cute ones I see. Lol

 

[LunadeMiel]

OP.
I have the same problem with my ends. I cannot blow dry them and have the ends stay untangled. I combat this by braiding it immediately after blowdrying. I think for "tangly" hair, a maxiglide works really well.

 

[bride91501]

I'm sorry you're having these difficulties caring for your daughter's hair. As frustrating as I know this is for you, I think it's important that you try not to let her pick up on that negative energy. You don't want her to start to develop a negative self view of her hair based on this relatively minor hurdle.

That said, I think you've been given great advice so far. I would just echo revisiting your product choices, and using moisturizes that are creamier and heavier. I would also separately seal her ends with a heavy butter, like SB or a SB mix, before twisting or braiding each section. This greatly helped with my own DD's coarse, formerly-rough 4b ends.

People often talk about "heat-training" the hair, but often overlook the fact that with the right products and techniques, the hair can be "trained" to do other things as well.

 

[KhandiB]

I tend to have more issues with my ends, when they are damaged. I get more tangles and if I blowdry my hair they stay frizzy.

Maybe thats it?

 

[Dayjoy]

@Nonie I loved that threading video from YT. The thought of doing that on my DD's hair scares me though! Tying a knot of thread at her ends seems like it would add to the problem.

I know every in this thread has said no but my mom used to only relax my ends when for a few years. I want to say from when I was about 12-15.

My hair is very weird. For the most part its about 3a/3b but the ends are 3c. My hair used to shrink up ALOT. And my ends used to get so tangled. The ends of my hair were completely different that the rest of my hair. My mom decided to relax my ends to make my hair more manageable and so I could wash and go. It helped me alot. This was a few years ago so I don't remember if I experienced breakage but I maintained about the same length of hair so I don't think so. She used a mild children's relaxer and left it in for the least amount of recommended time. You couldn't tell that my ends were relaxed because it blended in with my looser curls. She stayed away from the root because I have very fine hair and it probably would have fallen out.

Having my ends relaxed helped me learn how to do and take care of my hair better. I could also wear it out more often.

This is going to sound strange but I think going through puberty changed my hair. My whole pattern got looser which is why I stopped using the relaxer. I figured out how to deal with my ends better now that they were more manageable. I don't really have pictures of my hair on my computer from when I used to relax the ends. The one in the green tank top was with my ends relaxed. I've also included pictures so you can see the difference in my hair now. In the pictures I have gotten a keratin treatment done so the ends are more manageable (they are usually curlier).

I'm not saying its the best thing to do but it did work for me. I'd def recommend reading Nonie's post because she had alot of great tips because if you can avoid relaxer, its all the better.


(sry for the pictures being weird. The files were too big so I tried cropping them so I could upload them onto here. The two of my curls are from the time and day)

Thanks so much for sharing your story. For now, I'm definitely holding off on relaxing her ends, but I like hearing from someone that has actually had it done with success.

@Dayjoy The bolded was my hair. I used to do little dustings once a month. That didn't help. I tried clarifying, chelating and doing baking soda rinses. Nothing helped and I continued to dust. This went on for months.

Until purely by accident I discovered bentonite clay. Through an allergic reaction to a growth serum, I had to apply bentonite clay to my scalp to stop the reaction. After rinsing it out and detangling my hair, I noticed my ends were not grabbing each other and not letting go. I could comb through them!

What a discovery!

To make a long story short, I no longer constantly dust my hair; nor do I use clarifying or chelating shampoos.

My clay preference is rhassoul clay. I still use bentonite clay, too. I started out doing a rhassoul mask once a wk for a month. Then 2 times a month; now just once a month.

I don't know "how" my ends stay tangle-free; but the rhassoul and bentonite saved my ends.

I can now finger-comb and finger-detangle my hair. Every once in a while, I may find an SSK. My hair is soft and manageable and I never thought that was possible.

I've also added oils and hibiscus to the mask.

Some oils I've added are (only 1 oil at a time):
Argan Oil
Evening Primrose Oil
Flaxsee Oil
Neem Oil (Only did this once; had an itchy scalp and one treatment cleared that up)

I've used distilled water, rose water and lavender water to mix with the clay.

I know in some YT videos they use a whisk to mix their mixture. That takes too long. I use an immersion or hand-held blender and I'm done in 30 or less seconds. My mixture, also, is the consistency of yogurt.

I apply to my hair and scalp, sit under the steamer (optional) for 20 minutes and walk around with it in my hair for another 30 to 40 minutes. It never dries. And if it did, it will wash away easily once water hits it.

Sorry to be so wordy. HTH.

But 4Z hair is not that difficult to handle. This makes wash day a breeze for me. And it is a pleasure to twist my hair w/o feeling rough ends.

Do you order your clays online or have you found them in stores? Do health food stores stock this?

Would you not be comfortable sending her to a salon? There are lots of cute kiddy styles that could relieve some of the stress and double as protective styles. A lot of the time I wish I was still young enough to get some of the cute ones I see. Lol

Actually, a bad first salon experience on her fifth bday is what led to me finding LHCF. I haven't trusted anyone else in her hair besides my own mother since. But now I have a new stylist that advocates natural hair and I want to take her, but she remembers that last experience from four years ago. Also, we watched Good Hair together and she thinks a stylist will try to sneak relaxer in her hair. I will plan a day for us and have my trusted stylist give me pointers too.

OP.
I have the same problem with my ends. I cannot blow dry them and have the ends stay untangled. I combat this by braiding it immediately after blowdrying. I think for "tangly" hair, a maxiglide works really well.

I might go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and pick up a Maxiglide. It would be worth it for the six or so times per year I straighten.

I'm sorry you're having these difficulties caring for your daughter's hair. As frustrating as I know this is for you, I think it's important that you try not to let her pick up on that negative energy. You don't want her to start to develop a negative self view of her hair based on this relatively minor hurdle.

That said, I think you've been given great advice so far. I would just echo revisiting your product choices, and using moisturizes that are creamier and heavier. I would also separately seal her ends with a heavy butter, like SB or a SB mix, before twisting or braiding each section. This greatly helped with my own DD's coarse, formerly-rough 4b ends.

People often talk about "heat-training" the hair, but often overlook the fact that with the right products and techniques, the hair can be "trained" to do other things as well.

One thing I always make sure of is DD knows her hair is beautiful--the way God gave it to her. Any challenge encountered she knows lies in my technique or lack of finding the "perfect" product. If it weren't for her wanting to experiment with straight styles, this thread wouldn't have happened. I also like your idea if using heavier moisturizers on her ends. If I moisturize and seal her hair more often when she wears her regular styles (braids and twists), maybe her ends will be in better condition when it is straight. You'd think I'd have known this after being here all this time.


You ladies are all GREAT!

 

[Nonie]

@Nonie I loved that threading video from YT. The thought of doing that on my DD's hair scares me though! Tying a knot of thread at her ends seems like it would add to the problem.

Dayjoy You can do what my mom used to do: she would have several threads a little longer than my hair wrapped inside with my own hair, so that she could wrap past my hair and tie the knot on the threads. She'd wind a few loops around her open palm and cut them to have parallel strands and then take a few at a time and wrap them along with my hair and they'd serve as the end where the knot is tied.

But again my mom didn't leave spaces like the little girl's mom did. She completely covered my hair. If I can find me some crochet thread, I'ma do a 1 minute demo vid...and then after a couple of day or a week, undo and show you how the hair gets straight. I have to figure out how to wear one threaded section all week w/o looking crazy with the rest of the hair in twist.

 

[Pompous Blue]

Do you order your clays online or have you found them in stores? Do health food stores stock this?

You ladies are all GREAT!

Dayjoy I order online, 1 lb. at a time. Ordered 11-26-09 and 7-10-10 from fromnaturewithlove.com for $12.50 per lb. I just looked on the website and they've gone up to $18.00/lb.

I've been waiting for a 20% off coupon for the last 6 or 7 mos. They've only had 15% off coupons.

I've never looked in our health food stores where I live and I don't have an Indian store within 2 or 3 hours of me. So, that's why I've had to order online.

Also, it is advised you use rhassoul clay no more than 1 time a week. I don't know if there are any restrictions for bentonite clay use.

I use rhassoul for facials and other parts of my body, e.g., I added neem oil to my mixture and applied it to my back to help w/my eczema this Winter and it really helped a lot.

TO ALL: Does anyone find rhassoul or bentonite clays in their health food stores. I know the Indian stores probably sell it. But, I don't have one near me.

 

[Dayjoy]

@Dayjoy I order online, 1 lb. at a time. Ordered 11-26-09 and 7-10-10 from fromnaturewithlove.com for $12.50 per lb. I just looked on the website and they've gone up to $18.00/lb.

I've been waiting for a 20% off coupon for the last 6 or 7 mos. They've only had 15% off coupons.

I've never looked in our health food stores where I live and I don't have an Indian store within 2 or 3 hours of me. So, that's why I've had to order online.

Also, it is advised you use rhassoul clay no more than 1 time a week. I don't know if there are any restrictions for bentonite clay use.

I use rhassoul for facials and other parts of my body, e.g., I added neem oil to my mixture and applied it to my back to help w/my eczema this Winter and it really helped a lot.

TO ALL: Does anyone find rhassoul or bentonite clays in their health food stores. I know the Indian stores probably sell it. But, I don't have one near me.

I have an Indian store that I go to!!! I'm going to make some calls! Thanks!!!!!!

ETA: DD also has eczema--so these clays could change our lives.

 

[kweenameena]

I wouldn't suggest relaxing the ends. Have you tried using a heavier moisturizer on the ends, such as Qhemet AOHC or the Olive & Honey Balm?

I was just gonna say this.


It sounds like her hair is dry on the ends and very thirsty. Also, as far as the heat training..properly moisturized hair straightens better than dry hair. So give her a good DC before you try to heat straighten it again and see if that helps.
The ends are older so they'll need extra moisture. You definitely need something heavier for her ends. My daughters hair is the same way and I use Qhemet's Amla and Olive Heavy cream for my daughter's ends while it's wet. Even sealing the wet ends with a bit of vaseline or shea butter might help.

 

[Your Cheeziness]

I've experienced this and have started to see more and more people come out about long term effects of the Tangle Teezer. I can't say 100% that the TT was the issue, but my ends were fine before I started using it. I just got a 1 inch cut because they were pretty much ripped. It didn't happen at once, but over the course of a couple of months. We have to look at all aspects of our regimen to figure out what is causing a problem...hair tools included. They may do the job, but are they doing other stuff, too?

 

[ajargon02]

i wonder if threading or banding to stretch before using a blow dryer and flat iron wont get you better results.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB9idPI0KHs&feature=related
my ends tangle so i wash and dry in sections, using higher temperature on my ends.

That's what I was gonna say. As a natural, I don't straighten often at all. But when I did this past Jan, I washed/conditioned, detangled with my kimmaytube leave-in, applied my heat protectant. During this time, I kept my spray bottle with water to help me in detangling. I braided up each section down to the very ends. I let that air dry, THEN ONCE IT WAS STRETCHED and 95% dry, then I hit it with the blow dryer, then the flat iron using the chase method, and my ends came out straight, and that was my issue with the straightening, with tangled ends.

The key for me was during detangling, to braid all the way down to the ends, then airdry most of the way. This solved the issue of tangles on the ends while trying to blowdry, since my hair was already mostly dry. When I airdry, my hair gets really straight anyway, even the roots as long as I do it in medium sized braids.

I KNOW you are at your wits end, but relaxing the ends WILL make the issue worse, causing more breakage, tangles ect. Just as the people that are transitioning from relaxed to natural that are struggling with the 2 competing textures........HTH

 

[ajargon02]

I've experienced this and have started to see more and more people come out about long term effects of the Tangle Teezer. I can't say 100% that the TT was the issue, but my ends were fine before I started using it. I just got a 1 inch cut because they were pretty much ripped. It didn't happen at once, but over the course of a couple of months. We have to look at all aspects of our regimen to figure out what is causing a problem...hair tools included. They may do the job, but are they doing other stuff, too?

Funny you say that. I often wondered what the effects of the TT would be. You can't feel tangles with it, or the denman or combs ect. This is why I finger detangle, and only use the modified denman or conair shower comb, AFTER I have thoroughly finger detangled and only if it's needed at that point. I would rather feel my tangles and gently work them out with little to no breakage, rather then let the tangle teaser, tease me and rip out my hair..........very interesting your experience. I am really sorry that you had that set back for you, keep encouraged on your HHJ!

 

[schipperchow1]

The only time I worry about the ends tangling is when I blow dry and flat iron it. Can heavy moisturizers like those be used before heat?

I haven't blowed dried with these products, but I know that when my ends were horrible, Using heavier conditioners/moisturizers on the ends helped immensely. I really like the Honey balm for my ends. The other thing I used on my ends was My Honey Child Old Fashioned Grease. It is heavier but I would use only a small amount to seal in moisture on the ends. I like the humectant properties of honey that is found in these 2 products & they can be used to maintain straightened styles.

 

[hillytmj]

The only time I've ever heard of relaxing ends is if you are doing a corrective relaxer.

 

[wednesday]

When i detangle my 4c hair it has to be completely wet and drenched in conditioner. Also, the TT was a bit harsh on my hair (it was hard to get it through even with all the conditioner) so i went back to using a modified denman, maybe that will help.

 

[Katherina]

Hmm. I suggest braiding the hair in several braids (10-20) after the DC and setting the ends smoothly on small rollers. Either air dry or sit under the dryer. When you remove the rollers, her ends should be quite smooth instead of frizzy. Undo a braid and go ahead with flat ironing.

You could also use an electric hot comb instead of flat ironing. The teeth on the iron will keep the ends straight as long as you remember to press (it's called pressing for a reason) the hair very hard against the comb all the way to the ends (you can press with something like an old dish towel).

I hope this helps!

 

[wednesday]

Funny you say that. I often wondered what the effects of the TT would be. You can't feel tangles with it, or the denman or combs ect. This is why I finger detangle, and only use the modified denman or conair shower comb, AFTER I have thoroughly finger detangled and only if it's needed at that point. I would rather feel my tangles and gently work them out with little to no breakage, rather then let the tangle teaser, tease me and rip out my hair..........very interesting your experience. I am really sorry that you had that set back for you, keep encouraged on your HHJ!

I do the exact same!

 

[beauti]

my input: porosity . i had this same issue with my hair not too long ago and i was ready to just chop my hair off!! the entire length of my hair would get exremely tangled after a wash. i would section my hair to detangle and by the time i moved on to the next section, the previous section would already be tangled! I finally started browsing through here in hopes of finding a solution. I did the porosity test and my hair did not sink to the bottom of the glass however my symptoms matched porous hair symptoms so I went ahead and bought Roux porosity shampoo (I LUV IT) and the Roux porosity conditioner. Before I used the products I trimmed my hair using the search and destroy method instead of just trimming the ends. This is the best thing i've ever done for my hair. I encounter tangles here and there but not the massive, dreadlock-ish tangles I used to have. The difference in the texture and smoothness of my hair is very obvious. Please use the porosity products on your daughter's hair and dont lose hope!