Just argued with my mom on biracial hair (care)

[Vintageglam]

Ladies lets no feed the troll.....

 

[FlowerHair]

All of this for a child that isn't even born yet?

It seems to me that the whole conversation wasn't about hair types at all. It was more about the feelings your mother has towards her daughter in law.

Anyhow. Regardless of how you all feel, your future nieces' and nephew's mother is their primary caretaker. She will do their hair the way she wants even if it looks crazy. It's her children.

A black+white person can have any type of hair from 1-4.

I can't imagine arguing about someone else's children's future hair?! That's a little too much, don't you think?

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Let's just hope those babies are happy and healthy!

 

[Beaute Noire]

What DD's hair looks like when she wakes in the morning

She's adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[afrodeutsche]

If you're not interested in taking proper care of your child's hair, then that's sad. However this particular SIL has not had a baby, so no one knows what hair type the kid will even have nor how she will approach her baby's hair care. So I'd say: If you assume, you make an [donkey] out of u and me.

In the beginning my momma had no clue what to do with my hair either, but she went out and ASKED. She got plentiful of good and bad advice and then made her decision on what to do. I wish my momma would still be taking care of my hair... She did it THAT well.

But honestly, if a child is running around with dry and brittle hair, then the final responsibility lies with the parent, whose hair type is the most similar to that of the child. We're not in the 1800's anymore. Fathers can take care of hair too. Or at least look at the kid and and say: Hmm... Something is off about my kids hair. We need to address this. He/She looks like Struwwelpeter...

If both parents are interested in each other's culture, through conversation and dialogue these things will be addressed in a natural way and within the relationship, rather than having grandma get out of pocket verbally.

Oh and also a little tip: A baby shower is an opportune time to address something like that in a non-invasive way and gift hair care products.

 

[Ms Lala]

well i think that if someone has prettier hair than someone else, then they just do. whats pretty in my eyes may not be pretty in the next person eyes. pretty in my eyes is thick,curly,loose,or wavy in the natural state. pretty in someone else eyes may be coily,kinky,tight, afro hair with a z pattern. and in my opinion it is such things from getting genes from the WRONG side of the family. i know quite a few black women with bad hair. even with all the moisture, and proper care. and if i cant find anything BEAUTIFUL about it, then in my eyes its NOT beautiful. If i had the choice of picking, I would choose biracial hair.Its my opinion geez.

Your post is really sad and disturbing. Helping to correct this type of mentality is one of the reasons I stay natural. No disrespect to you autumnlesean but you missed the whole point of the OP's post and I pray that you don't have a child with hair that is not in the category you consider "pretty"

 

[Lady S]

[She meant 'bad' in the traditional meaning AND in terms of how difficult it will be working with the natural texture of hair.

But if he married a black women, would the same issue come up? Or is she doubting the white woman's ability to work with black children's hair? Nevermind there are black moms who really shouldn't be near their kids heads, but whatever.

I'd hate for her to shun her grandkids because of crazy hair.

 

[drappedup]

I completely agree with the OP and the point of this thread in general! I don't understand why OP's mom is so concerned about the unborn baby's hair anyway. I'm sure the child will be beautiful regardless. We are MORE than just hair! To place so much weight on it is definitely neglecting the actual beauty that is a new life being brought into the world.

That said, I think autumnlesean is wrong about genes from the wrong side of the family. I don't get that at all. But, honestly, I do see his/her point about not personally liking EVERY hair type. I know I don't. And that goes for ALL types. I don't like thin, stringy, straight hair in general....especially if it's blonde or light brown. But it can be styled/treated/managed/etc. properly, of course! I just wouldn't want it myself. I don't see anything wrong with that. There's no harm in feeling compelled to LOVE all hair types. Everyone has preferences! I feel like trying to say everyone needs to equally adore each and every hair type is unrealistic and overbearing. And tbh that is the vibe I get sometimes while browsing LHDC, so I realize this might not be a popular opinion. But yeah, even if it's not your preference it doesn't mean it's from the WRONG side of the family. That's just silly. Any hair can be styled to look superb, even if it's not your type of preference. That's just how I see it!

 

[bkprincesa]

I was trying to INFORM my mother that her assumption was wrong and explain why to her...I wasn't really just arguing about the hair.

All of this for a child that isn't even born yet?

It seems to me that the whole conversation wasn't about hair types at all. It was more about the feelings your mother has towards her daughter in law.

Anyhow. Regardless of how you all feel, your future nieces' and nephew's mother is their primary caretaker. She will do their hair the way she wants even if it looks crazy. It's her children.

A black+white person can have any type of hair from 1-4.

I can't imagine arguing about someone else's children's future hair?! That's a little too much, don't you think?