mom hates my nappy hair.

[lovely_locks]

For those who don't know my mom is black an white mix. She has curly frizzy hair yet its not nappy. I sent her a pick of me and my new wig, and she said "I sent the pic to your dady he went on, and on about how beautiful your hair is. But I'm not telling him about your wig so that he can see your nappy hair when we visit."
now my dad is black, and he cares less about hair, thats why he's blad lol! But the fact that she said this honestly made me cry. This is not all she said. She also said, "When I come down why don't you let me put a relaxer in your hair." "Why do you want to have short nappy hair anyway, I like you with long straight hair." "There is no reason for you to go natural." "Don't ever cut your hair again, your face is to fat and round for short hair."
Thanks Goodness my husband comforted me. I am so not looking foward to her visiting. I am adding pics of my hair today, compare it to the pic in my siggy from two months ago, tell me if my hair is longer, or in better shape.

 

[Russet]

YES, from the sides you can def. tell it's gotten longer. And don't worry about the negative comments anyone has to say about your hair. Don't let that bring you down. I'm happy to hear your DH is there to comfort you. Maybe you should try and let your mom know your reasons behind what you do to your hair and maybe then she'll understand.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

Rihanna said it best "just live ya life, aay aay aay, aint got no time for no haters, just live ya life aay aay aay"

 

[belldandy]

Rihanna said it best "just live ya life, ay ay ay, aint got no time for no haters, ay ay ay, just live ya life"

I totally agree!

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

tell the mom's like i told mine (jokingly).....

and i quote......"ain't like ya'll no dime pieces!"
'
must use poor grammar tho!

 

[MsChelle]

You are beautiful! God made you that way and if natural is what you want for your hair embrace it and respectfully tell Mom to STEP OFF! You are an adult and she may have her preference for how she like to see you but she has to accept you the way YOU want to be.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

ok i know you feel bad and all, but just think how worse your going to feel if you let her relax your hair and 4 years from now your at SL when you could have been at WL or HL. RIGHTTTTTTTTT!!!???? its your f@@@ing hair, RIGHTTTT????

 

[lovelexi]

your hair def looks healthier and longer. i understand its your mom and you care about her and what she has to say but you gotta do you. its your life and your head of hair. having healthy hair should be a priority not whether your hair is nappy or straight. just continue on your hair journey and in two years time you'll scoff at her comments because your hair will be even longer and thicker than ever before.

 

[arosieworld]

Ahhhhh honey I'm sorry I know how that stings. My mom hates my hair too but she is a lot more subtle and is getting better. Just build up a thick skin and let it go in one ear and out the other. Your hair looks beautiful its growing and shiny. You'll hit shoulder length soon!

 

[mscocoface]

Here is your chance to lovingly agree to disagree with your MOM as a woman.

You can tell her with all the love you can muster but with a strong resolve that this is your life and your lifestyle and you will live it how you wish including how you will wear your hair.

You can also tell her event though she may disagree and not like your hair choice it would be most beneficial if she not speak these negatives words around you.

All this can be done with love, respect and you can still keep your boundaries.

If you need some more shoulders to lean on just come on back in here. We are here.

 

[Gigi-07]

...........

 

[HauteHippie]

Your mom sounds a lot like my grandmother. Unfortunately for her, my sister went natural and some of my cousins and I have followed suit (on our own time). My mom broke the cycle of backhanded/snide "compliments"; they really can hurt some people. I'm glad you have a supportive husband to counteract that.
Once your hair grows out, she may sing a different tune or say nothing at all. That is what has happened in my family.
Wishing you all the best in your HHJ.

 

[jamoca5]

Yikes, sorry you're hearing stuff like that from your own mom, but you're just gonna have to let her know (respectfully and with love, of course) that this is your hair. You're a grown woman and if you want to cut your hair, wear it natural or even wear it purple that's on you, not her.

 

[My Friend]

 

[washize]

For those who don't know my mom is black an white mix. She has curly frizzy hair yet its not nappy. I sent her a pick of me and my new wig, and she said "I sent the pic to your dady he went on, and on about how beautiful your hair is. But I'm not telling him about your wig so that he can see your nappy hair when we visit."
now my dad is black, and he cares less about hair, thats why he's blad lol! But the fact that she said this honestly made me cry. This is not all she said. She also said, "When I come down why don't you let me put a relaxer in your hair." "Why do you want to have short nappy hair anyway, I like you with long straight hair." "There is no reason for you to go natural." "Don't ever cut your hair again, your face is to fat and round for short hair."
Thanks Goodness my husband comforted me. I am so not looking foward to her visiting. I am adding pics of my hair today, compare it to the pic in my siggy from two months ago, tell me if my hair is longer, or in better shape.

You need to set your mom striaght. IF she wanted a daugher to have long straight hair, she shouldn't have had a daughter with a black man who has nappy hair, and she shouldn't have those nappy gene in her DNA. If it is anyones fault your hair is nappy it is hers, she is the one that made you. Your hair shouldn't be that big of an issue. Your hair will grow it will not stay short for ever. Kinky hair does not make you ugly, hair can be styled hair can be any length. For her to be making such a huge deal out of this is rediculous. You really need to set her straight. Honestly where does she think you got that hair from Its not like you picked it up off the ground.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

well it is your hair and not hers so i would ignore. most moms are like that so just shrug it off.

 

[kmn1980]

Do you have children, OP? The reason I ask is that if it were me, I'd respectfully let my mother know that I'm trying to instill love of self into my children and I won't have her talking that way and spouting her 'the whiter the better' dogma around them so if she is intent on visiting, all negative conversations about physical traits need to be left at her house.

It's bad enough she's got you in tears over it. The last thing you need is for her to leave footprints of that mindset in your home. Hopefully, your husband will stand up for you also if she tries to start in on you.

 

[JinaRicci]

Sorry to hear. I know it hurts. Focus on all the people who love your hair and stand firm with your mom. My mom was the same way but when she saw how well my hair did she eventually came around to the point of doing the BC a couple months ago. So hang in there, it will get better.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

I am so sorry, it is very hurtful to hear those comments from somebody you love especially your mother. Just do you, nothing is wrong with natural hair and tell her that everytime she makes a negative comment.

 

[Solitude]

Sadly, your mom probably thinks she's just being honest with you, but she should have kept those comments to herself or expressed her opinion without insulting you and your hair. It's like any other choice - your parents may not be happy with it, but it's your life.

Be strong and if you're happy with your hair, that's what matters. Rock it with confidence.

 

[SweetTea]

I know it hurts, OP but you have to do what's best for you and your hair. My mom hates all natural hair on black people, even what some consider "good hair." (Though I don't use that term) For her, it's straight hair or nothing at all. Unfortunately I got trapped in her relaxing my hair a few months ago. I'm actually texlaxed now, which I like, but I don't think my hair likes relaxers that much so at his point I don't know if I'll be a texlaxer who does really long stretches or just transition to natural again.

The more you show your mom that you are committed to being natural, the sooner she will come to just accept it.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

Aw, I'm sorry! I know that can hurt personally. My mom told me that I look ghetto and ugly in my individual braids that I'm using to grow out my natural hair. When she first saw me, she said, "You look really ghetto." Then I talked to her the next day and she said, "You're such a pretty girl. Why would you make yourself look so ugly with those things in your head?" Do you know what I did? I completely ignored the comments because I'm doing what's right for me. It's amazing how being content about going natural make you care less about what people say. Be happy with doing YOU. You know what india arie said..."I am not my hair." You're still the same person you were before natural hair. And....

 

[discodumpling]

Smile & keep it moving...Mom is entitled to her opinions.

 

[Bnster]

Do what is good for you and stand by your choice. HHJ

 

[lovely_locks]

Thank you ladies soo much! I needed these comments. Yes, I do have kids, I have two boys and I want to tell my mom I want my boys to see me in my natural state and love me for me. But I already know the negative comments I am going to get from telling her that so I don't even bother. When I spoke with her on the phone yesterday I just ignored her, and just kept telling her. "No, its okay I want to go natural." Luckily for me my mom lives in Florida so I barley ever see her. I only see her once a year, but still....All little girls want their mom's to think they are beautiful. But after giving it much thought after reading all these comments I am just going to let her say what she wants to say. If she doesn't like it she does not have to look at it! I'm oficially over it! THANKS LADIES!