My take on good hair/why I went natural

[zzirvingj]

Hi everyone,

I wrote this a while back (this particular website of mine is seriously out of date) but I happened to stumble across it and read it again today. I thought I'd share it with everyone...

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/jade3/goodhair

 

[morehairplease]

thanks for posting this zzirvingj!

 

[UmSumayyah]

Good essay.
And now you can get to updating your site.

 

[so1913]

I FEEL you on your thoughts.

Would you believe I was at a Dave and Busters and this white dude was trying to talk to me. I don't know what led to the statement but he says "Don't you know I'm black? I'm just light skinned with GOOD hair" and stroked his hands through his hair...

Of course I proceded to inquire as to what he meant by it and as he stumbled for a good answer, I guess he thought if he'd show me a picture of his bi-racial daughter, I'd be like let the comment pass.

This was another event that has confirmed my decision to stay natural.

 

[beyondcute]

YES I hate that 'good hair' ish! All our hair is good! When was it ever not good enough?! Great post!

 

[Poohbear]

Very nice and thoughtful!!!

You know what? I've heard white people use the term 'good hair' before. Back when I was working at Kroger as a cashier, these two white women came through my line and one had her little white daughter with her.
One of the ladies turns around and says "Aww, she is so cute. She has some good hair, all nice and wavy."
And the mom of the daughter said, "Thanks, I wish my hair was like hers."
I was so shocked! So it's not just a Black hair issue.

 

[Nay]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Enchantmt]

That was a great read!! I added your site to my favorites, I look foward to your updates.

I never had any hang ups about natural hair. I had tried it once before but didnt know how to properly care for it and ended up relaxing again.
After I joined this site and realized I could transition and not BC like I did the first time, I was ready to do it again. I almost got cold feet tho. As I did research about caring for it, I didn't realize all the political and sexual issues tied to black natural hair. Reading the horror stories of natural folx in the work place, menfolx leaving them, family making their life miserable, their sexuality questioned, power issues,self hate, black self esteem and conforming to "european" beauty standard and the struggles with this...I almost didnt follow through. I'm glad I did tho, and I'm glad the ladies of LHCF will support me regardless of whether I choose to relax or not.

 

[Carlie]

Definitely a great read!

 

[*ElleB]

Great read...

This really has been on my mind lately: What we have been conditioned to believe about ourselves.

I was speaking to my mom about going natural the other day, and she proceeded to say: "All you have to do is go to the hair salon every week and let them press it 'til it doesn't get nappy anymore."
And its been a constant thing with her, all my life, and unfortunately I grew up believing because of her.

I was shocked, a little speechless and offended. I regained my compsure and said calmly: "No, I want the texture of MY hair. For all of that, I might as well keep relaxing."

I felt a little sad that she, a woman of almost fifty years would say something like that. But I realized that she is from a different time, and was taught that negative self image that nappy=bad. I can't blame her for what she was not taught. But I know when I have a daughter of my own, I will definitely teach her to love herself, from the kink of her hair to the color of her skin and beyond!
I'm HER daughter, but I feel like I need to be the one to do some teaching, however, that won't go over well with her at all. How dare I tell her about things of the world?

Sorry to hijack your post, but I'm glad its been said....

 

[ajargon02]

Thanks for posting that We all have our reasons for relaxing or not, and I am glad that you took an open approach to posing a question for the reader to consider