NATURALS - do your FAM and FRIENDS stick their HANDS IN YOUR HAIR?

[kurlybella]

i knew this was going to happen. as soon as i got home for the holidays and had my hair out, i got tons of hands in it. my aunt - bless her heart - came straight over to me and stuck her hands in it. i moved them and told her my hair was wet - which is was. another day, my sis did the same thing.

i love them to pieces and i know it's very common for black folks that are close to you to do this...but this bugs me to no end.

i don't want your hands in my head.

everyone was nice about it when i told them to take their hands out of my head because it was rude. i mean don't be scrunching up my afro and messing it up. cause it's an afro you think it's not a problem for you to scrunch my hair???!!!

ugh, has this ever happened to you? how did you handle it?

 

[LunadeMiel]

Yes and it's annoying....
what I really hate is the hair pulling.

 

[naturalgurl]

YES! They want to comb it and play in it. I like the compliments but please, keep your hands out of my hair. Another thing they don't get is when I say "you're messing it up!". They come back with, "girl please, how can I mess it up,it's so wild and pretty." Hmmmmm The pretty part saves them every time! But little do they know, I style it wild sometimes but not THAT wild!

ETA~ Family only gets this privilege. People on the street get a lioness type response....

 

[TCatt86]

Yes!!! And then they are always so surprised how soft it is. I have had stranger TRY to touch my hair and that didn't bowl over too well.

 

[Peacan Tan]

I got a weave check from a girl at my job

not a friend, fam or even an associate!

 

[Oasis]

Yeah, they do. I doesn't bother me like I thought it would.

 

[NYAmicas]

Yup, I dont mind.

 

[alopeciagrl]

OMG! Sorry slap my hand...but I am guilty of touching people's and/or (strangers)hair...

 

[Digital Tempest]

Yes. My family, not so much. But friends and strangers, yes. When I see hands coming, I start dodging like I'm Keanu in the Matrix. People don't know how to just "touch" or even ask to just touch. I always get the people who want to PULL my hair.

Now that I bun mostly I don't get it as much anymore, except when people feel the need to check to see if my bun is "real." But while I was still wearing my hair out it was crucial.

 

[gorgeous86]

I get the urge to touch natural hair, especially when I come to this site. It just looks so soft and healthy. I will definitely start to ask family for permission before I touch their hair.

 

[naturalgurl]

Yes!!! And then they are always so surprised how soft it is. I have had stranger TRY to touch my hair and that didn't bowl over too well.

I get that a lot too. I guess it looks hard as a rock. I like touching people's hair too, I must confess. I play in mine too when it's loose. I have to keep it up at home or I'd play myself bald!

 

[Joyful1]

Yes they do...but I recently realized -- I DO THIS TOO! For the longest time it was totally unconscious, automatic even. But when I nearly pulled my friend's wig off I made a promise to keep my hands out of others hair so they'll keep theirs out of mine...especially since I'm wigging it this winter!

 

[eunique]

yup and i love it actually. i dont like when people yank it though ... then i have to get extra.

 

[Bigghair]

I have had this happen to me. One coworker of mine got the treatment right back and I pulled hers a little. She had the nerve to look shocked that I had the audacity to dig down in her hair. She never did that again.

 

[Lynnerie]

Yes it happens to me all the time. It does bother me especially when its wet cause it will cause it to get very frizzy. I have to stop myself from playing in it. lol I can understand that folks are curious but after I did my BC this man at work kept touching my hair everytime he walked past my desk. After the 2nd time I got annoyed.

And if a stranger did it? It wouldn't go over very well.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Yes, my uncle did it this past weekend right after he finished smoking a cigarette Needless to say the top of my head was smelling like cigarette smoke. I almost passed out and was too in shock to go off. Honestly I don't mind LIGHT touching only from people I know but after smoking a cigarette, come on now! I can't stand the stench of cigarettes at that. Fingers all up in my hair and everything as if he was using my hair to clean and deodorize his fingers. UGHHHH!

 

[Libra08]

Yes! I was in Trade Secret and one of the guy workers came over and ask me did I need any help. I told him No Thank You and he was like good because I just wanted to touch your hair. He proceeded to stick his fingers in my hair and kept repeating Yes Yes Yes! Needless to say, I quickly left the store. Good thing too because it kept my PJism from coming out...

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Yes! I was in Trade Secret and one of the guy workers came over and ask me did I need any help. I told him No Thank You and he was like good because I just wanted to touch your hair. He proceeded to stick his fingers in my hair and kept repeating Yes Yes Yes! Needless to say, I quickly left the store. Good thing too because it kept my PJism from coming out...

Wow, he sounds like some kind of nut or freak. I can understand family or friends feeling more inclined to be able to touch hair without asking but random strangers. That's like a stranger coming up to a pregnant woman and proceeding to touch or rub her belly.

 

[discobiscuits]

I get that a lot. I don't mind as long as I like u otherwise all bets r off.

 

[truequeen06]

Yes this happens and I don't mind too much unless my wash n go hasn't completely dried. Most people wont touch my hair when I do a wng anymore because they're hands come out all coconut oily lol.

 

[Joyful1]

Yes! I was in Trade Secret and one of the guy workers came over and ask me did I need any help. I told him No Thank You and he was like good because I just wanted to touch your hair. He proceeded to stick his fingers in my hair and kept repeating Yes Yes Yes! Needless to say, I quickly left the store. Good thing too because it kept my PJism from coming out...

OMG!!!

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I don't usually mind. Someone (a friend/coworker) asked me if she could "boing" one my curls. People usually ask before they touch. That may be because a few people told me the other day that they thought I was wearing a phony pony lol.

 

[kurlybella]

Yes!!! And then they are always so surprised how soft it is. I have had stranger TRY to touch my hair and that didn't bowl over too well.

yessss!!!!

my sis was like oh look, it's so knotty then she touched it and said oh i forgot you have soft hair.

erplexed lawd, that's my sista!

 

[TaraDyan]

I don't usually mind. Someone (a friend/coworker) asked me if she could "boing" one my curls. People usually ask before they touch. That may be because a few people told me the other day that they thought I was wearing a phony pony lol.

I was just about to post this very thing. Not one but two of my co-workers always ask me if they can boing my curls. They're both good friends, so I don't mind.

 

[zioninspiresme]

they usually ask before touching...but I went out with my guy friend this weekend and he could not keep his hands out of my hair! He said it was soft and smelled like candy! lol
I really dont mind the touching though....

 

[htown2DAboot]

My guy friends are always in my head now...but they do it at the worst times...like last friday, we were downtown @ a club, and they took turns playing in my hair while singing and dancing to a song! I was like WTF???? Needless to say I got all in that a*& when we left...my girl bffs were sth....lol...but I forgave them...It was their first time seeing me AND my newly naturalness since before my bc lol

 

[kblc06]

Wow, he sounds like some kind of nut or freak. I can understand family or friends feeling more inclined to be able to touch hair without asking but random strangers. That's like a stranger coming up to a pregnant woman and proceeding to touch or rub her belly.

Is it okay if I ask first? I always get the urge to, the ability to have a life inhabit you is so fascinating to me...but I wouldn't want it for myself

To the OP-yes, my aunts are especially bad about it, but I really don't mind unless my hair is greasy or I've had it in a style that required a lot of time

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Only when I ask them to. I'm a little too proud of the way I've been taking care of my hair lately. I'm sure my mother, grandmother, and friend think I'm weird because I constantly tell them to touch my hair and see how soft it is. I'm really trying to stop.