Over six months of transitioning, thinking of giving up

[BotanyGrl]

I'm trying to get rid of some of these nasty insecurities. Some days are worse than others, and this was definitely one of those days!
Did you purchase your wig online or in a shop in person? I might reconsider the wigs. Thanks for the suggestions!

When you're feeling down just come back to this thread... We all think you are beautiful As for the wigs... I've purchased them all online (hairsisters.com) and I even rocked one today because I was too sick to deal with my hair. Personally, short wigs work best for me. I have boy cut short wigs and a few Rhianna style wigs. Definitely go to a wig store and try some on. At first I was not confident when wearing them but got over it pretty quickly. You just have to find the right one for you.

 

[BostonMaria]

When I transitioned, the first 6 months were the hardest. After I figured out that I could still rollerset and it hid the 2 textures it was so much easier for me. I would rollerset and flatiron and could keep this look for about a week. I would go back and forth between rollersets and ponytails (heck I still do that now and I'm 100% natural) and it helped me so much.

You obviously know how to take care of your hair or otherwise it wouldn't be so long. I hate short hair on myself too, but at some point I chose my sanity and health over length and although THAT drove me nuts for months, my hair a year later was longer than it was when I did the BC. So it'll grow back. Cut it when you feel ready. And just keep in mind why you want to transition in the first place. If you relax and regret it... well you have to start all over again and now the six months of new growth just turned into 3 inches of hair that you have to now cut in the future. I don't know about you but I'd rather keep those 3 inches.

 

[MummysGirl]

Awww, you are such a pretty girl! It just goes to show that people we think are VERY pretty also have insecurites about how they look - that's life.

I'm 5 months post (I'm 21 weeks into my transition) so I can almost relate BUT I love, LOVE using pretty headbands (I have 20 or more!) and pinning my hair up or doing braidouts, which I sometimes pin up - style option for you.

I have read that months 6-9 are the hardest but once you learn what works for you hair, it'll get better. Check out the transitioner's support thread: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312457

You'll be fine, I'm sure of it

 

[glamazon386]

Have you tried a braid out or twist out? What about bunning?

 

[cutenss]

Do a BKT. It will be great for both textures of your hair, so you don't have to BC. Think about it. Then pray and ask the Lord to help you with your feelings. Talk to Him, just like you would talk to us. Think about the BKT. And talk to HIM. He is here for you, and so are WE!

 

[Wanderland]

I can't give advice per say, but I can tell you what I'm doing(I'm 5 months post, and considering transitioning):

I'm BKT'ed and recently discovered ponytail rollersetting with flatironing the roots. I think it is going to change my life!(well at least the summer). My hair feels and looks like a fresh relaxer, I'm only using heat on the first inch of my hair (to get the bump from the pony and some unstraightened new growth out). I crosswrap at night and I'm sure this will last until the next wash. I'm doing this every 2 weeks, and if I get tired of this routine I'll throw in some curlformer sets (or rods, whatever you have).

 

[Chromia]

I know what you mean about the 2 textures. I'm looking forward to just having my natural hair on my head, but because of the length right now I'm not ready to cut all of my relaxed hair off even though I've been transitioning for 20 months.

Detangling is easy for me thanks to Tresemme conditioners and my wide tooth comb, but styling my hair started to be a challenge about 6 months into my transition.

When I first started transitioning I did rollersets. After about 6 or 7 months I started doing twistouts and braidouts. I wore headbands because of my puffy thick roots - the Goody scarf headbands from Target and the Scunci ones at Sears & Ulta. I started flat ironing my hair 14 months into my transition.

I agree with what the other ladies said - check out other transitioners' fotkis for ideas and maybe get braids or do twistouts/braidouts. MissMarie's fotki inspired me to transition when I saw that it could be done without a BC because I knew I would feel uncomfortable with short hair. When Caligirl said that she transitioned for 2 years that inspired me also.

OT: Your name reminds me of the Sneaker Pimps song. Is that what your name is from?

 

[Mystic]

I would flatiron and continue transitioning.

 

[RedVelvet310]

Have you tried rollersetting? Banding? CurlyNikki has a great Twist n Curl method that seems helpful to transitioners. I also see lots of natural and relaxed heads who are regular heat users without problems. As long as your using the proper products and methods, I don't wee weekly heat use as damaging

 

[Mystic]

Oh wow, you are beautiful! Shame on you for even thinking twice about having short hair that would show your features more. Your face is too beautiful to be hidden.

 

[spinspinshuga]

Awww, you are such a pretty girl! It just goes to show that people we think are VERY pretty also have insecurites about how they look - that's life.

I'm 5 months post (I'm 21 weeks into my transition) so I can almost relate BUT I love, LOVE using pretty headbands (I have 20 or more!) and pinning my hair up or doing braidouts, which I sometimes pin up - style option for you.

I have read that months 6-9 are the hardest but once you learn what works for you hair, it'll get better. Check out the transitioner's support thread: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312457

You'll be fine, I'm sure of it

Thank you! I hadn't thought of using headbands; I really think that will obscure some of the differences between my textures. Great suggestion

Have you tried a braid out or twist out? What about bunning?

My buns have been unsuccessful (When I get my NG to lie flat, my bun is too tight,) and my braidouts have been a little lazy since I have been failing to dry with a scarf on my head. I think if I improve my braidouts--doing them tighter and being more careful about the drying process--that might help. Thanks for the response!

Do a BKT. It will be great for both textures of your hair, so you don't have to BC. Think about it. Then pray and ask the Lord to help you with your feelings. Talk to Him, just like you would talk to us. Think about the BKT. And talk to HIM. He is here for you, and so are WE!

You all are about to make me give into this BKT thing! Thank you for your advice and your response.

I can't give advice per say, but I can tell you what I'm doing(I'm 5 months post, and considering transitioning):

I'm BKT'ed and recently discovered ponytail rollersetting with flatironing the roots. I think it is going to change my life!(well at least the summer). My hair feels and looks like a fresh relaxer, I'm only using heat on the first inch of my hair (to get the bump from the pony and some unstraightened new growth out). I crosswrap at night and I'm sure this will last until the next wash. I'm doing this every 2 weeks, and if I get tired of this routine I'll throw in some curlformer sets (or rods, whatever you have).

I'm going to have to try this ponytail rollerset thing again; I think I haven't been doing mine quite right and they've not been coming out so nice! I will give this another try. Thank you!

 

[spinspinshuga]

I know what you mean about the 2 textures. I'm looking forward to just having my natural hair on my head, but because of the length right now I'm not ready to cut all of my relaxed hair off even though I've been transitioning for 20 months.

Detangling is easy for me thanks to Tresemme conditioners and my wide tooth comb, but styling my hair started to be a challenge about 6 months into my transition.

When I first started transitioning I did rollersets. After about 6 or 7 months I started doing twistouts and braidouts. I wore headbands because of my puffy thick roots - the Goody scarf headbands from Target and the Scunci ones at Sears & Ulta. I started flat ironing my hair 14 months into my transition.

I agree with what the other ladies said - check out other transitioners' fotkis for ideas and maybe get braids or do twistouts/braidouts. MissMarie's fotki inspired me to transition when I saw that it could be done without a BC because I knew I would feel uncomfortable with short hair. When Caligirl said that she transitioned for 2 years that inspired me also.

OT: Your name reminds me of the Sneaker Pimps song. Is that what your name is from?

That is in fact where my name came from! I love the Sneaker Pimps. They're performing in the US on May 30th and I can't attend because I promised a friend I would celebrate her birthday with her I guess I'll just have to have fun another way

Twenty months is really impressive! Have you noticed any heat-damage during these past six months of flat-ironing, and how often do you flat iron? Thanks for your response.

I would flatiron and continue transitioning.

Relief! I was getting too many BC suggestions and was starting to get nervous Thank you!

Have you tried rollersetting? Banding? CurlyNikki has a great Twist n Curl method that seems helpful to transitioners. I also see lots of natural and relaxed heads who are regular heat users without problems. As long as your using the proper products and methods, I don't wee weekly heat use as damaging

If I have to resort to heat, hopefully it won't be too hard on my hair...and I'm familiar with CurlyNikki's photos, but not with the Twist n Curl method; I will look into that. Thank you!

ETA:

Oh wow, you are beautiful! Shame on you for even thinking twice about having short hair that would show your features more. Your face is too beautiful to be hidden.

Thank you. Does this mean you're taking back your flatiron and transition vote? I'm still a little too self-conscious to be ready for short hair, but if I ever get back that you ladies will be the first to know

 

[Chromia]

That is in fact where my name came from! I love the Sneaker Pimps. They're performing in the US on May 30th and I can't attend because I promised a friend I would celebrate her birthday with her I guess I'll just have to have fun another way

Twenty months is really impressive! Have you noticed any heat-damage during these past six months of flat-ironing, and how often do you flat iron? Thanks for your response.

I didn't know the Sneaker Pimps were coming here! I just checked the tour dates and I see they're not going to be anywhere near me.

I haven't noticed any heat damage from flat ironing. Since I'm a product junkie I've used different heat protectants - Aveda Brilliant Damage Control, Fantasia IC Heat Protector Serum, and Tresemme Anti-Breakage Detangle Leave-In (which has the exact same ingredients listed in the same order as Tresemme Heat Tamer). All of them seem to work well.

Lately I've been using the Tresemme Leave-In, then I apply Tresemme Straightening Gel on top of that, then I blow dry or let my hair air dry overnight, then I flat iron.

I use an FHI Platform. I flat iron about every 2 weeks. I have a Maxiglide also, but I haven't used that in a few months.

 

[cupcakes]

I think you are beautiful. I understand how you feel about short hair. Maybe you should just flat iron every two weeks, and use sabino moisture block so it doesnt revert.

 

[GoingNatural]

6-9 months is the hardest time. My hair grew successfully because i did not use heat at all for two years. Just try to look at the bigger picture. It sucks now but it's worth it in the end.

Get some braids or a weave!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I would either BKT or flatiron, I understand not wanting to chop all you hair off just yet, but don't give up just yet.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I would say look at LynnieB’s album. That will inspire you if you already know you would prefer to continue transitioning. She has some things in there about what made transitioning easy for her.

If you can’t handle the 2 textures, flatiron your roots for now, but use a good heat protector. Then you don’t have to think about it for a while, except on washday. If you know you would prefer to continue your transition and relax now, you “MAY” regret it. I know I do, every time I look at Lynnie B’s hair. If I could figure out how to go out in humidity without my hair reverting, I would transition again.

The last time I tried to transition, I used a lot of headbands and braidouts. I flat ironed my roots sometimes too.

Good Luck

 

[camilla]

Spin, you're a beautiful woman. I've seen your face and drooled over your hair and you have nothing to be upset about! No matter what you decide, it will all be ok...

I remember the phase that you're going through, and like others before me have already said, this too shall pass. It's just a matter of learning how to deal with the two textures. Once you get that part down, it's smooth sailing. I think it took me up until like month 10 to realize what worked for my hair. That being, detangling/moisturizing while soaking wet only, and just bunning. I keep the "styling" to a minimum, only doing the occasional braidout/flat-iron/rollerset when I really feel the need for a change, then it's back to the same-old.

For me, I can deal with the mundane of the bunning, because healthy, natural hair is my priority and it saves me from a lot of hassle. I have three kids and need to keep it simple too, lol. In the end, it's only temporary anyway, and the end result will be worth it.

I hope that you stick it out. It always makes me sad to see women who caved in when relaxing really wasn't what was in their hearts, and they go back to transitioning again... On the other hand, a long-term transition definitely isn't for everybody. It's tough! Heck knows I've considered BC'ing lots of times. You should pop into the transitioner's thread more often

Good luck with everything and hang in there!

NOW YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED YOUR OWN STRETCH THREAD YOU AND SYLVER 2 ANYONE WHO CAN STRETCH FOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS

 

[HealthyHair2007]

September 05, I thought I was not attractive enough to wear my natural hair. It had taken me two years to grow it under braids and a wig. I never had enough confidence to wear it out and following after someone who said you would look better with a perm instead of pressed hair. I permed it. Now, I regret it with every touch up.
Had I known about this board at that time, I know the sista's would have help build me up to make a decision that was best for me.
Your hair is beautiful. If flatironing the roots every few days will get you through this than do it. Do what's going to make you feel comfortable and happy. After all, it's your hair and you will have to see it 24/7.
Love ya Sister in growing healthy hair.....

 

[Hairsofab]

Braid up the back of your hair and try some half wigs.

 

[camilla]

TRY HALF WIGS YOU CAN PUT YOUR HAIR IN A FRENCH BRAID AND ONLY LEAVE THE FRONT OUT

http://www.hairsisters.com/ver2/LargerImage.php?id=9735#


http://www.hairsisters.com/ver2/LargerImage.php?id=9734#


AND THE ONE I HAVE NOW

https://www.hairsisters.com/ver2/LargerImage.php?id=9732#





i just leave a square out in the front and very little on edges and twist like cornrows
but use two strands at night with mousse every one thinks it is my own hair

 

[Blessed2bless]

Hey SS,
I would perm the very edge of my hair...around the temple and ear line and neck area. I do not know how to post pictures yet... However, I'll change my avatar so you can see my hair....Okay do you see where the headband is... right below the band, about 1 inch or so around my whole head....from hair line about an inch of the NG. You can
see it closer in my profile...
hth