Putting away our hair (vent)

[tthreat08]

This sounds like one you might have to drop. I have dealt with this time and time again...then I realized that I was dealing with it because I allowed it. Following this epiphany, I basically cleaned house and got rid of all the negative fools. JEALOUSY can KILL a friendship. She's killing it...

 

[Armyqt]

Girl you are gorgeous!! Beautiful hair, flawless skin, gorgeous smile and your eyebrows are to die for. You need some very secure friends Seriously, though, your friend is soooo jealous of you. BUT, at least she came out and told you so you know what you're working with. Maybe you can help her get her hair together.

 

[Tanelions]

Wow. It seems like there is more to it than just hair. It may be your good looks, maybe career, family ect. For her, your hair may just be the icing on the cake. Friends are suppose to be inspiring, encouraging and add meaning. Not mean. For a grown woman to act this way.I don't think so. You may have to just let this one go for it may lead to other things. I agree with the other posters, avoid the negative energy.

 

[sweetcashew]

Girl you are gorgeous!! Beautiful hair, flawless skin, gorgeous smile and your eyebrows are to die for. You need some very secure friends Seriously, though, your friend is soooo jealous of you. BUT, at least she came out and told you so you know what you're working with. Maybe you can help her get her hair together.

WOW! shucks...thanks for the compliments.
I have tried to get her hair together. About two weeks ago I was giving her a touchup and she was incredulous about me just applying the relaxer to her roots. She's never in her life heard that it's suppose to only be applied to new growth.

 

[SandySea]

Your friend sounds very insecure. I have friends that have waste length hair, and when we go out we all look good regardless of our hair length. If she chooses to be plain, she should feel good about that and not hate on you--everybody's style and look is different. Keep being a diva.

 

[Lucia]

Kick her to tha curb, rapido girl, she is NOT your friend anymore. This is why beautiful women don't have many female friends ex: Halle, JLo, Demi...etc...

 

[Blossssom]

You need to get rid of her tail!

What was her response when you asked her why is it okay for her to wear floor-length weaves, but you can't wear your own hair which is naturally long?

 

[sweetcashew]

You need to get rid of her tail!

What was her response when you asked her why is it okay for her to wear floor-length weaves, but you can't wear your own hair which is naturally long?

She just stuttered "but.. but... but..., I have to look good too"
Yep, like that makes sense.

 

[Lucia]

She just stuttered "but.. but... but..., I have to look good too"
Yep, like that makes sense.

What she can look good but you can't? WTH something's very wrong hereerplexed

 

[Blossssom]

Yea, very wrong... you may have to get rid of her. People like her scare me.

Doesn't she think she looks good with her weave? That's why she wears it, because she thinks she looks good with it...

 

[Mahalialee4]

What you need to understand about jealousy is this:
Not only is the person jealous that you have something they do not have....they want what you have....and they want you to lose what you have...and have absolutely nothing...it is NEVER about being even....IT IS ABOUT HAVING AND NOT HAVING and that means even more than them having...it is most important...that you don't!!! think about it.
Mayou Angelou said something very profound..."When someone shows you who they are...believe them the first time..." and the message is that the next time you may live to regret it a long long long time. bonjour

 

[Lucia]

What you need to understand about jealousy is this:
Not only is the person jealous that you have something they do not have....they want what you have....and they want you to lose what you have...and have absolutely nothing...it is NEVER about being even....IT IS ABOUT HAVING AND NOT HAVING and that means even more than them having...it is most important...that you don't!!! think about it.
Mayou Angelou said something very profound..."When someone shows you who they are...believe them the first time..." and the message is that the next time you may live to regret it a long long long time. bonjour

Good advice, your sure said it ITA 100%
and this is truly jealousy and she wants to have it all and you to have nothing, here's a quote from someone on another hair board.

I've seen this in the salon many times. Girl A, is trying to convince girl B to change her hair and has been so persistant that she's gotten her into a stylist's chair.

One of my customers, with beautiful ridiculously long hair was cajoled into cutting it, by her "friend" with fried chin length "emo" hair (this is that joan jett hair that all the kids have).

The girl asked my opinion, I said your hair looks nice and you should only cut it if you want to... (The friend was quite annoyed.) We agree to just trim, shape and layer it.

When I was back at the shampoo bowl, I told her that her friend is most likely jealous, and as soon as she cuts her hair short, her friend will start growing it.

So we come back to the chair. The friend is talking to me about her hair at some point. I tell her, "maybe you should cut it shorter." The friend says, "No, I'm growing it."

My client and I laughed out loud.

 

[foxybrownsugar]

I just peeped your fotki and I must say that your hair and face are beautiful. Your makeup is flawless. I have to agree with the other ladies, your friend is jealous of you.

 

[MiWay]

Some of the posts are hilarious, but all are very true. This whole thing blows my mind. Eliminate that poison out of your life. Some women can find anything to be petty about...so let this be your lesson cuz it will probably get worse. I'm sure there are other things you have/do that your friend is envious of, but it just came out when she saw your hair. Misery loves company... It's hard to let a friendship go over something so petty, so if you do remain friends with her, just be careful. And like someone else said...let your hair down and swing it ALL UP IN her face. Hmpf!

 

[facets]

bumping old thread..

i had a 'friend' like that..emphasis on *had*.

hope she's history or at least in therapy

 

[sweetcashew]

bumping old thread..

i had a 'friend' like that..emphasis on *had*.

hope she's history or at least in therapy

She's still my friend. She's a really cool girl. But we don't go out much at all for that same reason. She's still acting insecure. Oh well.

 

[MizAvalon]

She's still my friend. She's a really cool girl. But we don't go out much at all for that same reason. She's still acting insecure. Oh well.

Is her hair in any better shape at least?

 

[sweetcashew]

Is her hair in any better shape at least?

Nope. She keeps ignoring my advice and would perm her hair all the way out to the ends everytime. I made up my mind to stop saying anything to her about it.

 

[Mortons]

ITA. I remember reading an old post, on this board, I think, about someone who put bleach in their so called friend's hair products out of jealousy.

I might have had to go to prison that day.

 

[JazzyDez]

She's still my friend. She's a really cool girl. But we don't go out much at all for that same reason. She's still acting insecure. Oh well.

I would still sleep with one eye open around her if I were you.

 

[4U2Envy]

If she feels that way next too u than, shes not a good friend. A good friend would and should be happy that her girl is lookin good even if shes not. When I feel like a mess I still tell my girls how nice they look, and they always say I look good too even if I really don't, that's just something good friends do. A real friend would never tell you to put your hair away, she should be asking how can she get a full head of healthy hair like yours. keep your head sweety.

 

[Lucia]

If she feels that way next too u than, shes not a good friend. A good friend would and should be happy that her girl is lookin good even if shes not. When I feel like a mess I still tell my girls how nice they look, and they always say I look good too even if I really don't, that's just something good friends do. A real friend would never tell you to put your hair away, she should be asking how can she get a full head of healthy hair like yours. keep your head sweety.

Very true.

 

[TemiLnd]

Ok ladies this is what happened to me yesterday. A friend and I were going to the mall. When she came to pick me up, she started exclaiming that I look too nice for her to be walking next to me. When I pointed out that we were both dressed similarly, she then exclaimed " But look at your hair. you look like you're going to the club or something. Why you always have to look fly and I'm always so dry faced." Yeah dry faced.
Anyway that pissed me off so I asked her what she wanted me to do with my hair. This chick actually had the nerve to say that I should put it away or something. So then I asked her, how come it's ok for her to wear her long weaves but it's not ok for me to wear my own hair out.
Mind you, I wear my hair out every day but yesterday I used the triple barrel waver on it so I had big beautiful bouncy waves.
Then we were suppose to go out later but she changed her mind about going. Said she was feeling too plain next to me. This is not the first time I've had to deal with this sort of thing from women.
It really made me feel bad because I am who I am and it hurts when friends think you should be less of yourself just so that they could feel comfortable.
Just had to vent a little.

I know what you mean. I enjoy your hair, all the styles I can have and the general diversity of my hair as it grows. It’s ironic because it’s the black ladyz that seem to have a problem. my non-black friends are forever ready with complements. I have to say my friends don’t really dug about it, its more strangers on the street.
Do u know what I do. I lift my head high, flick my hair and walk proud. All the effort we put into our hair, if they don’t like it, someone else will.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

This is your "friend" hummmmmmmm sorry. I think it may be time for new friends you deserve better.