should i go natural? I really need you help!

[Freespirit02]

After looking at some of the natural pictures, I have been thinking about BCing. I am now,obviously relaxed and I believe it's been about 2-3 months since i relaxed. I'm currently wearing sew-ins (which I love) to give my hair a break from all the heat. I have tried to go natural once before but I broke down and got a texlax. The little bit of curl I had, I was in love with. So I was thinking how would my hair have looked/grown if I left it natural. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend talked to me about it once..and he said it would be great if i went natural..i feel the same way. The only thing i'm not looking forward to, is the transition. I really need your input. Tell me how you feel about your natural hair. Relaxed people can give me some advice too. Thank you kindly.

 

[nikki2229]

Well, I think that you have to be mentally ready to be natural. It does take some time to learn your natural hair if you have not dealt with it for most of your life.
When I joined the board last year, I was a relaxed head with no intentions of going natural. When I saw all of the beautiful naturals here I decided to give my own hair a chance. I went 3 months without a relaxer but then relaxed. I felt disappointed. So I decided to take it one day at a time after that and now I am 11 months into my transition.

I said all of that to say, try to learn your hair. Be patient because the road is not always easy. If you are loving the sew-ins then use them to transition. You already have the support of your boyfriend, so that is one less battle to fight.
Good luck.

 

[Addy3010]

Well the decision is up to u but I think if you are ready u will know. By asking the question I didn't seem like u are totally ready. It sounds like u have some support. I think. Maybe u should try a long term transition that way u can get acquainted with your natural hair, and if u do decide to stay natural then great, if u relax/texlax then atleast u won't be starting from square 1 lenghtwise. HTH a d good luck no matter what u choose.

 

[Theresamonet]

What problems did you have that made you break down and texlax?

I just recently BC'd after a 5 month transition and I can't image ever going back. I still kick myself for all these years that I wasted with a relaxer in my head. And I've worn countless 4a weaves while all the time I had thick, black,4a hair of my own that I never considered. I'm just saying, my natural hair feels like the natural me--like it has my personality.

But I think I was ready for it. The decision for me wasn't a hard one. After I joined this site and saw the things that black hair could do in it's natural state; When I started seeing all of these lush natural heads of hair, I had already started to mentally cross over. So, transitioning wasn't hard for me and neither was the BC. They were both just necessary steps in getting to where I ultimately want to be in my hair journey.

Just do what you feel... If you think you need inspiration start looking at natural fotkis and youtubes. If you have it in you, you will definately start to feel that pull. And Make a vow to yourself that if you start to transition you won't relax until a certain milestone (6 mos. post, BC, 1 year natural) where you can decide objectively if being natural if for you, instead of relaxing out of frustration with the process.

HTH.

 

[lilsparkle825]

If you are PSing with sew-ins, then I don't see the point of having a relaxer (unless you use relaxed-texture hair and only get a partial sew-in). However, like some of the other ladies have said, it's a mental process just as much as it is a physical thing. I would agree with going forward with an initial goal of, say, stretching for 6 months. If you decide to BC (or relax) before then, no biggie. Just keep in mind we might be looking at the pictures, but YOU will be the one caring for your hair. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[MummysGirl]

The Ladies above have said it all... YOU will know when to go natural. Don't be discouraged by not going through with your first attempt @ transitioning. I'm sure you learned some things from that period - use that knowledge for the next time you transition - this will most likely be a successful one

I love looking at fotkis of transitioners and naturals - they are very inspiring. I remember being 7 weeks post and seeing pictures of 7 month post transitioners and looking forward to getting to that point too. I have learned so much from so many ladies.

Good luck!

 

[Charz]

I think you should try the natural route. I'll put it this way, you can always relax if it doesn't work for you!

 

[Poohbear]

YES! GO NATURAL! IT'S FUN AND CHALLENGING!

 

[Mook's hair]

Are you looking for more length before you go fully natural?
If so, then so sew ins for a few more months and then chop.
If length doesn't concern you then go ahead and do it.

It's good to hear that your BF is on board.

 

[Chameleonchick]

I say do it. If you want straight hair get some heat protectant and a flat iron. I think its great your bf is backing you about going natural, it really helps to have someone in your corner.

 

[fyb87]

I think that if you have to ask that maybe you aren't ready at the moment. I'm natural. However, for me it wasn't this huge deal. I was relaxing my own hair with a PCJ for kids relaxer once a year on my edges. Then one day I realized I hadn't done it the year before. Once I realized that I never did it again. I do think that you have a great support system and that once you have completely made up your mind it will be easier to stay on track.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

The beauty about our hair is its possibilities. Try natural again , if you're dissatisfied, relax it and you get tired of that, go natural again.

 

[Soliel185]

If you're not sure then don't BC - pure and simple.

You'll regret it, probably hate that your hair is short, do a rebound relaxer within 3 months and generally dislike the experience.

IMO the best thing to do is just wait. If you think you might want to transition, read up on techniques and products and don't relax for the time being. Natural hair can always be relaxed, relaxed can't go back to natural.

If you decide to go natural, you'll have months and months of growth to start with - if not, then you'll have lots of growth and a well rested scalp from your stretch.

 

[jshor09]

I think if you want to go natural you should. You just have to determine whether you want to bc or transition for a while then bc. I bc without transitioning both times i went natural. The first time i gave in an relaxed and cut a cute short cut. After awhile though i missed my fro a bc again. The main thing is you need to be comfortable with whatever you decide.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

I'm SOOOOOO tempted to tell you, "Go for it! Shave your head!!! Why not today?!"

But it wouldn't be right...It would be fierce...But it wouldn't be right.

Like the lovely ladies have said before, you'll know when you're ready. And it can be really freeing, and challenging, finding out what works best for your natural hair texture. You'll know when your transition is done, you'll know if natural just isn't your thing. You'll just know.

And guess what....If you don't like whichever you choose: SEW INS! fake it till you make it grrrrrl. I ain't mad at you.

As long as your hair is healthy (permed or relaxed), why not give it a whirl?

GOOD LUCK!

 

[Shananyganz]

I'm trending on agreeing with the other ladies with regard to "if you have to ask, maybe you aren't ready just yet". That and the overall uncertain tone of your post, leads me to think you may not have mentally settled on natural. Kudos to you for getting the BF perspective; how awesome (yay..happy dance) that he is on board should you decide to grow your fro. But I digress...

The decision to "go" natural is of course different for everyone, but I firmly believe that you know when its right for you and your life(style). I did a lot of research prior and during, I used that time to transition. The important thing to remember is that you don't have to make the decision right now, you don't even have to make it in the next 3...6...12 months, but until you make the decision EITHER WAY(insert Katt Williams voice here), you can rock the sew-ins that you love so much (if you so choose). Look on the bright side, should you decide to not transition to natural, in the VERY least, you'll have a long stretch (break from heat and other things you wanted to avoid) and (with proper maintenance) that can't hurt.

I love my natural hair. Period...dot. I love the thickness, the curl, the coil, the WAVES when I slick it back. I love not having to worry about when to scratch, IF to scratch, how deep to scratch...so I can relax. The best decision I made as far as my hair is concerned, was to put the relaxer down. I firmly believe that you can have healthy hair natural or relaxed, but for me, natural was better. Even with a TWA (hair is about 4 in stretched), I rocks it HARD!! PLUS< my hair is STILL long enough to do the Protective Styles I love, namely braids and weaves. For me its the best of both...but natural.

I learned that patience and research is key. I learned that the simpler I kept things, the better my hair faired. I learned that bandwagons regarding the latest products served no benefit to me, as it convoluted progress. I learned that fraternal twins Trial and Error, were my best friends.

Whatever you decide, you'll find support. PLEASE let us know what that is!! = )

-S-

 

[CTBhair]

My going natural was not a decision that I put a lot of thought into. However, I am so happy with the results. I never BC'd and just transitioned. It will be 4 years in March 2010. I think it is a personal decision that you have to make, but I will encourage to research styles, products, etc. before you go. I just transitioned with no plan for styles and did not know a lot about hair care in general. For the first 2+ years I wore my hair in a pony tail with the front part with gel and the ponytail curly and wild. Looking back I could have been taking sooo much better care of my hair. Now that I am taking care of my hair, I love my natural hair.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I'm SOOOOOO tempted to tell you, "Go for it! Shave your head!!! Why not today?!"

But it wouldn't be right...It would be fierce...But it wouldn't be right.

 

[Taina]

Speaking of myself
This is the third time i did the BC. Fist time i wasn't sure, i moved to México and i couldn't find the relaxers here, so i was forced by my stylist to chop all my hair. I didn't feel good at the begining, but then i was in love with my hair. Problem? i moved back to DR in 2005, having the natural hair was not appropiate for profesional look and i relaxed again, just when i was starting to love mu hair.

Then, i did't remember how to take care of a relaxed hair and it start to look horrible, so i BC again but just to chop all the damage hair and relax again.

This time, i'm IN LOVE of my hair .. it doesn't matter is short, i LOVE it. That's how i know that i will stay natural for a long long lomg time. I was inspired by the ladies of this board and i can not even thank enough how much i learned here about loving and styling the natural hair.

So, my suggestion is, look inside you, and try to find how you'll feel of you chop your hair. Why you want to do it? You better be sure before cut it all off.

 

[BrownEyez22]

I like being natural, it has its ups and downs. I will say when you get frustrated (because you will) put your hair away in a protective style and/or research new methods. It's a ongoing learning process, what works on the TWA might not 8 months later.

Goodluck whatever you decide.

 

[bbdgirl]

This is really a very personal decision. And it can't be based on what anyone else thinks. If you are ready you will. I was natural for 3 years and for me the decision was just about being at a particular emotional junction at my life, and I couldn't have been happier. I learned alot about my hair and texture. I didn't hate relaxers I just didn't want to relax my hair and I felt very free.
For me it wasnt a political statement or about the harmfulness of chemical it was just about being natural.
You will find the answer within.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My going natural was not a decision that I put a lot of thought into. However, I am so happy with the results. I never BC'd and just transitioned. It will be 4 years in March 2010. I think it is a personal decision that you have to make, but I will encourage to research styles, products, etc. before you go. I just transitioned with no plan for styles and did not know a lot about hair care in general. For the first 2+ years I wore my hair in a pony tail with the front part with gel and the ponytail curly and wild. Looking back I could have been taking sooo much better care of my hair. Now that I am taking care of my hair, I love my natural hair.

Please tell me did you get your relaxed hair cut off eventually or did it grow out? I don't want to BC and this sounds like a good plan for me.