What am I going to do with my hair when I get old?

[Shiloh]

Maybe I've been thinking to much about hair but I've been pondering a question for a few weeks and thought I'd ask you guys. I've been natural for about a year and I'm struggling because I want to wear my hair straight and the press n curl has been disappointing me lately because of the summer humidity. My problem is I like the durability of my natural hair but not the reversion. Anyway I've been thinking about getting a relaxer and then I'll think "but I've already gone natural." Sure I'll get a relaxer and my hair will be straight like I like and long (I never had a problem with length or breakage with a relaxer) but when I get old I'll just go natural again and I hated the transition process. I mean I don't know any older black women with relaxed hair. Many older women I know either wear a short natural and often sport wigs or they have dreads. I also know many women with gray relaxed hair and the gray hair looks yellow, I assume from the relaxer. So I guess my question is can relaxed hair go the distance? I mean have you seen any older women (not to offend by the term old but maybe 60s and 70s) with healthy relaxed hair.
Like I said I hope I didn't offend by my definition of old.
I'm pretty sure i'm completely un-politically correct but I thought I'd ask

 

[Trini"T"]

I see this older woman at my church with shoulder length, bouncy, SILVER hair. It looks sooo good. She looks good too(could dress, in shape, face is smooth). The only way I could tell that she was older was because of the color of her hair. Also I saw this elderly woman at the beauty suppy shopping for a relaxer. Her hair was looong, down her back. However, it did also look like she had a looser curl pattern so she probably didn't process it that much. Seriously I think that's the only way you can be an elderly woman with relaxed hair...is if you don't process it too often.

 

[Mestiza]

It's late and I'm exhausted, but at the moment, I'm not able to think of any senior ladies w/ relaxed hair.

 

[Shiloh]

I know what you mean. It was late when I started the thread. But I still can't think of any older women with relaxers.

 

[scribblescrabble2]

It seems like most of the older relaxed hair ladies I have seen have thin, damaged looking hair. I have only seen one with very healthy relaxed hair. She her hair was chin length and it was in very good condition. She also had very pretty grey streaks in it.

 

[Hareitiz]

I know one woman who is in her 70's who has beautiful silver relaxed hair, she sports a Halle Berry short cut, and it looks gorgeous!! I always tell her that I wanna go grey just like her when I get to be her age!

 

[firecracker]

My mom has healthy salt and pepper relaxed hair. She wears it shoulder length right now. My grandmother was the same way til she passed at 82. She had more salt and her hair was beautiful. I cannot wait to get a fullhead of grey hair. I love it.

 

[Shiloh]

My mom has healthy salt and pepper relaxed hair. She wears it shoulder length right now. My grandmother was the same way til she passed at 82. She had more salt and her hair was beautiful. I cannot wait to get a fullhead of grey hair. I love it.

Your grandmother had healthy relaxed hair at 82?!! Now that's what I'm talking about. That's very inspirational. Did she go to the salon or did a family member do it. I bet your mom knows a lot about taking care of healthy hair.

 

[tthreat08]

I think you may have time. I think you could relax if you want and cut it off when you are older. I mean we are talking years right?? Relax...enjoy!

 

[firecracker]

Your grandmother had healthy relaxed hair at 82?!! Now that's what I'm talking about. That's very inspirational. Did she go to the salon or did a family member do it. I bet your mom knows a lot about taking care of healthy hair.

Chile no we were biweekly salon breed. They have been going to the same stylist since 1960's. They use Precise Relaxer, Desharme creme hairdress, bumped and rolled the hair every morning.

 

[Shiloh]

Okay your family was obviously blessed with durable strands. I couldn't bump and curl every morning. I think I'm going to take tthreat08's advice. I mean I am talking years. I really did enjoy my relaxed hair but after going natural I feel weird about getting a relaxer. I mean I know it's what I want to do but I definitely have gotten used to my edges being rough and being able to wash my hair and seeing all the naps, even though I straighten them right away. Arggh! I'm conflicted.

 

[firecracker]

Okay your family was obviously blessed with durable strands. I couldn't bump and curl every morning. I think I'm going to take tthreat08's advice. I mean I am talking years. I really did enjoy my relaxed hair but after going natural I feel weird about getting a relaxer. I mean I know it's what I want to do but I definitely have gotten used to my edges being rough and being able to wash my hair and seeing all the naps, even though I straighten them right away. Arggh! I'm conflicted.

Shiloh I don't know how they did it . Maybe it was because they used a low heat setting.

At least you have the guts to straighten. I cannot even begin to tell you how my mind plays tricks on me weekly. Everytime I straighten I am afraid I will have permanent heat damage. I long for a relaxer when I see pretty rollersets and drop curls. I am wondering about the long haul as well. When my hair grows back out I really am going to have to make a huge hair decision. To color, perm or press is the question if I can last another two years of being natural.

 

[glamazon386]

I plan on being natural. But I'm working on that now. I've seen some older women with healthy relaxed hair but they are rare. I agree most of the older women I know have a short natural, wear wigs or have icky looking relaxed hair. My grandmother has a short relaxed hair cut. She was letting it grow out but recently got it cut again. In my 20 years I've always know her to have short hair and it was usually blonde. Her hairs real thick. My great grandmother has waist length salt and pepper hair that she pins up under a short wig. They both have type 2 hair though. Her hair seems thinner but it probably was thick in her younger days. She had chemo for cancer a few years back and never lost a strand of her hair though. Same thing with my grandfather and great uncle. They had type 3a/b hair.

 

[MACgirl2k2]

When I get older, I am going to transition out of my realxer and go natural. I want to do it in my mid 40s.

 

[Barbara]

My father's cousin has gray hair, but it's enhanced so there isn't any yellow. That's why it's enhanced, to cover the yellow. It looks really nice, and she always gets compliments. Naturally, she goes to a salon; otherwise, it wouldn't look as good.

Also, two older women who come into the salon has relaxed arm pit length gray hair and almost bra clasp hair, and their hair looks fabulous.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I'm gonna worry about it when I get old! I'm too young to think about that right now. Worrying about money for retirement is enough future planning for me!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Time will tell but for now my intent is two hanging side braids once in a while pinned up or a single pony or tail. I do not intend to go the menopausal 'boy cut', too, too butch for me.

 

[LayneJ]

I see what you're saying. I was sitting here for a good 5 minutes, trying to think of any older women I know/have seen with healthy, relaxed hair.

Honestly though, I don't think it's because it's not possible. I seriously think some may feel it too much of a hassle, since most older women I know visit the salon faithfully. I know my mother insists she'll always be relaxed, but she told me my grandmother thought the same, but instead she ended up cutting her hair off, and wearing it in a TWA.

My other grandmother was relaxed for a long time, but I only have the word of my father, because she wore wigs 100% of the time.

Personally, I'm planning on loc'ing my hair, and when/if I get tired of those, I'll rock a TWA.

 

[Twisties]

My mom is 63 and went natural for about three years because of issues with thinning and breakage at the crown from relaxers. I was so excited that she went natural. But once it grew back from TLC and treatments from a dermatologist, she got tired of natural hair and relaxed it again. She keeps it cut very short and it's cute. I think it depends on how their hair is reacting to years of relaxing that determines if they can continue.

I do believe many women will need a break from the chemcials at some point. When I had severe breakage issues years ago, my dermatologist told me that years of relaxing eventually takes a toll and she had many patients who had to temporarily stop to let the scalp rest and recover from the effects of chemicals.

I think a lot of older women (60s upwards) get tired of fooling with relaxers and that's why they stop--they just want to be free so they wear a short natural afro, twist or locs.

 

[SouthernTease]

All the women I know over 50
that have relaxed hair don't have hair
at all... catch that?
I seriously think that over the next 10-20 years
relaxers will be OUT... see we had the afro era,
the jheri curl era, the relaxed era... I think
we're stepping into a new era "the natural era"
so with that I think we would be much more
knowledgeable about how to care for natural
hair since it will become more of a focus for the masses.
Plus, you'll have decades of LHCF under your belt...
you will have mastered Natural Hair Care.

 

[Neroli]

Well, I'm 43 and I'm still growing my hair as long as I can. Indeed, its never been as long as it has these last 5 years or so and I'm loving. I'm below BSL, approaching WL and I don't have any plans, yet, to change that. I tex-lex 80% and its healthy, long and strong.

But, yall are right, not many older black ladies with long relaxed hair (older for ME means, late 50s and up) and I think the reason for that is cuz of all the bad hair practices that brought alot of us to this board. They've spent a life time damaging their hair and as they get older, it's harder and harder to turn it around -- indeed, they not even trying to turn it around cuz they don't know that they can.

I think with time and the type of knowledge on this board, more and more will relax longer and heathier . . .

 

[KAT25]

My grandmother is 83 with gray relaxed hair down to her butt and it is white and healthly. My mom puts a relaxer in her head about twice a year and she always has a lot of new growth. She greases her scalp with can't think of the name of her grease but she has long thick healthy salt/pepper (more salt than pepper) hair and it is very beautiful. So girl you can do it when you get old your hair is your crown of glory so it will be beautiful.

 

[Neroli]

My grandmother is 83 with gray relaxed hair down to her butt and it is white and healthly. My mom puts a relaxer in her head about twice a year and she always has a lot of new growth. She greases her scalp with can't think of the name of her grease but she has long thick healthy salt/pepper (more salt than pepper) hair and it is very beautiful. So girl you can do it when you get old your hair is your crown of glory so it will be beautiful.

Now that's inspiring! Thanks for sharing and it sounds like your grandmother practicing at least ONE thing we advocate here at LHCF -- stretching relaxers. I relax 4 times a year now (but I used to go 8 times a year or more, back in my ignorant days) and the difference is astounding. . .

 

[Energee]

I'm going to do the short "Camille Cosby' cut--natural (I'm actually hoping my hair gets white instead of just salt and pepper...lol). I've always loved her cute cut and I really want it for myself when I'm older (I'm near 38 now)...around 50 or 60 I guess. I definitely will not want to get relaxers then. I want to be traveling more with my husband, playing with my grandkids and carefree...NOT worrying about hair.

 

[mscocoface]

I too cannot think of any women in my family with relaxed hair and I have quite a few women folk in my family.

Many have gone natural or to the wig.

I am being inspired by this I guess and am now finding other women who are older than me with healthy natural hair.

I am keeping an album of my family members and others who are much older no scratch that much wiser now and have natural hair.

Here is one that I view regularly besides my family members. She is 53, to me that is still young but she is older than I am.

She is a true inspiration when I get discouraged or frustrated. The same with my aunts and cousins viewing their pictures help a lot.

Whatever you decide you have the knowledge here to help you either way.

Enjoy!

http://hairobicsallnatural.com/Stephanie_s_Page.html

http://hairobicsallnatural.com/Hair_Talk.html

Here is her myspace. Warning the music is loud. scroll down to see an incredible shot of her hair.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=103854157

 

[Neroli]

I too cannot think of any women in my family with relaxed hair and I have quite a few women folk in my family.

Many have gone natural or to the wig.

I am being inspired by this I guess and am now finding other women who are older than me with healthy natural hair.

I am keeping an album of my family members and others who are much older no scratch that much wiser now and have natural hair.

Here is one that I view regularly besides my family members. She is 53, to me that is still young but she is older than I am.

She is a true inspiration when I get discouraged or frustrated. The same with my aunts and cousins viewing their pictures help a lot.

Whatever you decide you have the knowledge here to help you either way.

Enjoy!

http://hairobicsallnatural.com/Stephanie_s_Page.html

http://hairobicsallnatural.com/Hair_Talk.html

Here is her myspace. Warning the music is loud. scroll down to see an incredible shot of her hair.


http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=103854157

OMG, Ms. Stephanie is gorgeous! ITA that 53, is pretty young to me too (in 10 years, I'll be 53 . . . ) Shoot, I feel like I just entered my prime in the last few years and life just REALLY beginning in my 40s. But, you gotta get there to know what I'm talking about. My son says I'm on the "dark" side of 40, but what does he know, he's barely 20! I think he's on the dark side of 40 Really, those are some beautiful wise women . . .

 

[knottyaaverage]

i used to think about this alot. i always thought that when i got older i would go natural. like in my 40's ....that's what i'd like to do.

 

[Dak]

Stretched out my hair is probably bra strap length & I am just over 50. I can see holding on to this length for as long as I can keep doing it. I figure doing my hair and my yoga practice will have to keep me flexible, you need good range of motion roller setting/braiding/twisting all this hair!

 

[FlowerHair]

I plan on being natural. But I'm working on that now. I've seen some older women with healthy relaxed hair but they are rare. I agree most of the older women I know have a short natural, wear wigs or have icky looking relaxed hair. My grandmother has a short relaxed hair cut. She was letting it grow out but recently got it cut again. In my 20 years I've always know her to have short hair and it was usually blonde. Her hairs real thick. My great grandmother has waist length salt and pepper hair that she pins up under a short wig. They both have type 2 hair though. Her hair seems thinner but it probably was thick in her younger days. She had chemo for cancer a few years back and never lost a strand of her hair though. Same thing with my grandfather and great uncle. They had type 3a/b hair.

Have you asked your great grandmother why she wears a wig when she has waist length hair? I think a neat bun would be prettier?

To answer the og question, I haven't seen any older women with relaxed hair yet. I don't think I will go that route. I realize that women's hair usually gets significantly thinner after menopause, but I will think about that when I get there

 

[glamazon386]

Have you asked your great grandmother why she wears a wig when she has waist length hair? I think a neat bun would be prettier?

To answer the og question, I haven't seen any older women with relaxed hair yet. I don't think I will go that route. I realize that women's hair usually gets significantly thinner after menopause, but I will think about that when I get there

She doesn't like the fact that it's so grey. She wore a black wig for a long time but now she wears one that has grey mixed in. And she thinks that because it's so long it makes her look even older. She's only maybe 4'11". She's real short. She only wears short wigs though. A few times shse went to the hairdresser to get it done and she didn't like it. She came home and combed all the curls out and pinned it back up. SHe didn't like it. So she never goes to the salon she just maintains it herself. She's 81. She raised my mom and her sister and my mother said she always wore it in a giant bun on top of her head when they were kids. She rarely wore it down unless she was going somewhere. She was a SAHM. My aunt has the same kind of hair but she always wears it in a bun, ponytail, or plait.

A lot of the women on my moms side wear wigs (or they cut their hair all off) when they're leaving the house and they're dressed up. When they're home, they don't wear them. That's the only reason I've seen their hair. Like my great grandmother wears her wig to church or when she knows they're having something at her house. But if you just drop by and visit she won't have it on. My grandmother has been wearing a lot of phony ponys now that her hair is starting to grow out again but she said she had the hairdresser cut the perm out a while ago and that's why she's letting it grow out naturally now.