What would you do if someone said n!***r hair around you?

[PeaceFlow]

I know we all have stories on here about the things people say that make us annoyed against black hair.

I have 2 black best friends IRL that never say anything nasty about hair, they might be ashamed when the new growth gets fuzzy but they don't talk utter ignorance around me. I don't have associates, just good friends so I don't have to hear any foolishness of any sort

However because I have started getting my hair done regularly by friends of friends I am shocked by the things people say about black hair, I honestly didn't know it was so in your face

Thing is if someone says something like n!****r hair or just random closer to white is better ect.. I don't know if its my place to berate them. I would love to find someone who loves black people and talks positive instead of all this nastiness, its not good for my follicles to be around this!

Do you try to educate or just let it go?

 

[moonglowdiva]

Naw I wouldn't say anything. People will say what they will. I wouldn't take it personal either.

 

[Eritreladiee]

I think it's in your hair's best interest to keep away from folks who have a problem with your hair texture. In my experience, those are the people who do the most damage to your hair. Good luck- I hope you'll find someone who'll treat your hair with love and respect.

I say let it go and let them go.

 

[locabouthair]

When I was natural, my friends said I had n***** hair. My ex said I looked like a slave. Since 1st grade people wouldn't let me forget how "bad" my hair was. I just ignore people when they say things like that. The good hair/bad hair thing will always exist unfortunately. Outside of this board, I dont talk about hair.

 

[locabouthair]

I think it's in your hair's best interest to keep away from folks who have a problem with your hair texture. In my experience, those are the people who do the most damage to your hair. Good luck- I hope you'll find someone who'll treat your hair with love and respect.

I say let it go and let them go.

I agree.

I have a friend who is good at applying relaxers and I would let her apply mine but she has always told me how bad and nappy my hair is so I will not let her touch my hair.

When I was natural I used to get my hair braided a lot and people would complain about my hair being nappy but use a tiny tooth comb to comb it. Does that make sense?

I stopped letting friends and other people in my hair. Every time I did someone had a negative comment.

 

[blacksapphire]

I hear that stuff all the time around me and I don't take offense. to me it simply means that they are not that educated about black hair care so they are ignorant how beautiful and empowering it can be...

 

[Lady S]

Probably be just as speechless as I am now. WTF?

 

[natura87]

I let it go, the person that said it to me was ignorant to say the least, so I didnt take her opinion seriously.

 

[melodies815]

Like Lady Speedstick said, I would be speechless. I can't even imagine a setting where I would hear someone saying something like that, and I have been going to black hairdressers since I was a little girl. I have NEVER heard anything like that...

I wouldn't argue at all, but you might hear me mumble/whisper, "That was rude," and then walk away...

That would just blow my mind.

cj

 

[RadiantBeauty]

I would.....:hardslap:

 

[natura87]

I would.....:hardslap:

I couldn't have done that. This was my older(by 6 years) cousin that said this and she is double my size.

 

[AfroKink]

When it happens I usually stare blankly. That comment invariably comes from someone with the same hair texture as me. I debate back and forth whether or not stoop to their level and point out how they have the same hair as I do. I also think about why they would think it is okay to use the N-word around me, insulting my ancestors and myself. Then I say a little prayer for the person and black people who have gone through so much. By this time there has been a long awkward silence, which leads to a change of subject...

 

[Optimus_Prime]

tickledpink,
just to clarify, the person who said n-word hair is black, a friend of a friend, and a hairdresser?
The term doesn't bother me all that much, because I feel like as an AA, I've heard almost everything that can be said in terms of race, and I have relatives who would probably say some stuff like that - and not because they hate a person or their hair.

That said, I'd never let a hairdresser who says "n***er hair" touch my hair. I already know she has a vendetta against it.

 

[DivaD04]

there are all types of jealousy.
but your hair doesn't look ignorant to me.

 

[lilanie]

Pray for them - the more negative things that come out of a person's mouth; the worse they feel about themselves...

 

[Bene]

Chances are, anyone who would say something like that already has a certain mindset about hair. With that being said, they are the most likely to relax the sh*t out of it and are walking around with about 3 strands, and some nasty chemical burn scars all on their earlobes, talking about "Oh, I like it like this!" because they think relaxed = good.

Best to just walk on by. Can't teach those people anything.

 

[happylife]

Depends. Do you have a lot of time on your hands for idiots to suck up?

I wouldn't let them near my head. It would be like letting a mechanic that hates working on cadillacs work on your escalade. I would just be a little parinoid the outcome would not be a good one.

 

[simplymyself]

For me, silence is the golden rule with that kind of foolishness. I tend to look at people who say things like that as if they are as ignorant as the comment they just made. They generally get the point and shut up. If it were me, I would seek a better place to get my hair done, because that kind of talk is poison to the hair and soul.

It is disturbing how many people actively hate their heritage though their hair.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

First of all off the bat anyone that even tangentially knows me knows not to use that word around me. So yea, thats a good way to get either schooled or cut off.

 

[PrincessAJ]

That has happened to me with an ex roommate of mine. She said that I must have that n***** hair that does not go down the drain and she has that good hair. I don't know how to keep my mouth closed sometimes so I mentioned it and her response was that although she was bi-racial she was black too so her comment shouldn't be a problem. I personally think that the comment is ignorant and degrading no matter what race. It sounds even more ignorant coming from someone who does have any type of African heritage. I learned that you cannot educate an ignorant individual if they are not even willing to accept their ignorance about the issue.

 

[LushLox]

That has happened to me with an ex roommate of mine. She said that I must have that n***** hair that does not go down the drain and she has that good hair. I don't know how to keep my mouth closed sometimes so I mentioned it and her response was that although she was bi-racial she was black too so her comment shouldn't be a problem. I personally think that the comment is ignorant and degrading no matter what race. It sounds even more ignorant coming from someone who does have any type of African heritage. I learned that you cannot educate an ignorant individual if they are not even willing to accept their ignorance about the issue.

Breathtakingly ignorant. Your roommate sounds like she's got a firecracker up her arse, she's so high up in the air!

 

[PeaceFlow]

Yes Optimus its a friend of a friend who does hair. This one that said it yesterday is a very nice black girl so that made me think that it can be just be a neutral description because I hear it so often recently.

My friend embarrased me so much one time as we went into a beauty shop that had white assistants and I was looking at some hair stuff and shes like [loud voice] "Come on thats not gonna working in our hair because we have N!***r hair". I can't understand that people don't know saying things like that are putitng black people down.

I think I will just have to ask people not to talk it around me but their opinion is their opinion.

 

[Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll]

Cold-cock 'em in the eye.

What?

 

[ctosha]

Personally I would not feed into it but only to reply "This is how my hair grows out of my head I cannot help that. If you don't like it then simply don't look at it"