What's Holding You Back from Going Natural?

[Cincysweetie]

I'm sure this has been talked about before...but we bout to talk about it again! So ladies, I know I'm not the only one here that is seriously considering making that transition from relaxed to natural. I think about it a lot, especially when I see albums like MissMarie's, Peachtree, Raehlilsynth and MAAAAAANY more...with beautiful, thick, natural hair. It makes me wonder...why am I holding back from going natural? What's stopping me? Anyone else where I'm at and want to share what holds you back from transitioning to natural?

 

[Koffie]

Nothing!!! I transitioned July of 04 an this coming July will be my 2 yr
HAPPY NAPPIVERSARY!!!

 

[Porsche19]

For me it's the length tha I have. My hair is short, if I were natural, my hair would look even shorter... the amount of shrinkage that I get white texturized is bad... while I'm natural it's horrible. Maybe I'll go natural in the future... when I have more hair.

 

[zora]

I guess not really accepting the texture of my hair. When I look at the Peachtree's and the Carefree's, their hair looks great, but that's not the texture of my hair.

My hair is more like a dry brillo pad with no curl or coil pattern. It's more of a z shape and looks crazy to me.

I guess if and when I see more z textured hair ladies, then I can use them as my inspiration and finally go natural again and this time actually wear it out.

 

[mscounselor]

Presently its the fact that the kind of hair I hope for doesn't grow out of my head. Until I can get past that desire to have the cute waves, I won't do that to myself. At 6 months post, I was looking for spirals and they weren't there. Ironically since I relaxed again, my hair won't go bone straight.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I feel like if I were to go natural I wouldn't be able to handle the two textures in my head at one time, and I would have to cut. I've been growing my hair for almost 2 years now and I'm just not ready to part with the length. Also, I don't think short hair will look right on me, so I'm going to have to do a lengthy transition to get to a length at which I'd be comfortable cutting.

 

[Arcadian]

I've not relaxed since July 6,so I don't know what my problem is. Interestingly enough its not like my natural hair is really all that hard to deal with. I think its 4a/b in the top and sides, but don't quote me on that because I could be wrong. The back dosen't seem to have any defined pattern at all, its just sort of wavy

I ask myself all the time why do I bother with relaxers since I don't use heat, haven't used heat in any form for over a year, can't stand curling it, and if I do anything cute with it, it usually involves some kind of finger combing. (after having bad history with the things, I hate curling irons, really do.)

I don't really even have a problem dealing with the textures, and I'm quite amazed how much moisture my hair has now (that part I DO really like!)

I've got between 2-3 inches of new growth sitting there doing its own thing. And to be honest, I let it most of the time

Overall my hair is quite short, not touching my shoulders yet, but amazingly the relaxed ends aren't breaking off.

I guess in a way, this is a bit of a personal experiment. I actually like my natural hair a lot so I may just go for it.

For now, I think I need to make the final step in my brain before I actually say I'm going either way. But, I've got phyto sitting here in the box, which its been just sitting here since september.

-A


PS

BTW HI! I just jump right in don't I?

 

[caligirl]

I guess not really accepting the texture of my hair. When I look at the Peachtree's and the Carefree's, their hair looks great, but that's not the texture of my hair.

My hair is more like a dry brillo pad with no curl or coil pattern. It's more of a z shape and looks crazy to me.

I guess if and when I see more z textured hair ladies, then I can use them as my inspiration and finally go natural again and this time actually wear it out.

This is exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm the only one with nappy hair. I look at other transitioners albums and they've got waves and spirals. Maybe when I'm a little more mature I can appreciate my texture for what it is, but right about now a texturizer is looking really good.

 

[Porsche19]

but... what's wrong with having nappy hair?

You've all just inspired me to really go natural after I get get some real texturized length.

I mean... dang. It's like it's some sort of curse

I would give anything to have bra-strap natural hair...which would probably look shoulder length in it's unstraightened length... working with MY hair.

I just don't like the shrinkage... I love the texture though. Which is why I don't want to fully relax my hair even though it's hard as hell to detangle even when texturized... I at least want some kink/curl.

 

[onepraying]

I feel like if I were to go natural I wouldn't be able to handle the two textures in my head at one time, and I would have to cut. I've been growing my hair for almost 2 years now and I'm just not ready to part with the length. Also, I don't think short hair will look right on me, so I'm going to have to do a lengthy transition to get to a length at which I'd be comfortable cutting.

How do you know you wouldn't be able to handle the two textures? Have you stretched unsucessfully?

This is why we are here. There is so much support on this and other sites as well as ideas, techniques and products. Once you make your mind up you can trudge forward. Let me make myself clear before I begin: It's okay to be relaxed. I'm not bashing relaxers at all.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Figure out why you want to go natural.
Study other natural ladies hair(all textures).
Stretch the relaxer a bit, feel the newgrowth, run your fingers through it. Examine it in the mirror. You'll realize that your hair really isn't as "bad" as you thought.

2. Stretch, stretch. stretch...this is the only true way to see what your hair is 'like' and how you can handle it. Experiment with products...

3. Once you realize, this is who you are and how YOUR hair is, you'll make a conscious decision, one way or the other.

4. Do I care what others think, one way or the other?

5. Some people feel they need to speak it with their mouths: 'I'm going natural or growing my relaxer out', etc. Others, like me, found it easier to not tell a soul...why?:
a. the negativity

b. I may not be able to make it..therefore the negative 'celebration' of the negative people....

c. I wanted to get to know my newgrowth better.

Once I made the decision, no matter what my hair looked and felt like, I trudged on. I'll never truly know how it will behave until all my relaxed ends are gone. However, I'm so excited because my natural hair fits me. It suits me so much better. It goes with my eyebrows and skintone. It's me, it is who I am...

Reasons to NOT end your transition:

1. Shedding: you'll get this after a certain amount of weeks. It is okay, you will not go bald.... It does eventually stop or it slows down the more natural you become.

2. Breakage: you will get a certain amount of this. And, basically this is what you want after a certain point because you want the relaxed ends gone anyway. Now, if you are one that isn't comfortable with having short hair, you need to take extra care of the line of demarcation and relaxed ends to retain them. If you need help in stopping breakage, come to the board, keep a journal(this is important because it documents what products and techniqes worked and didn't work.), pay attention to your hair and love it! It's not JUST hair!(we all know this, hence our obession... )

3. Other people!!! This is your life, your hair, YOUR decision.

Because of the ideas that society and our ancestors have ingrained in us we actually have to become, de-programmed. Let's face it, we were NOT born with straight hair. We don't HAVE to relax to 'look right' or 'decent'. It should be a choice. Not a must. Some people like straight hair, but they shouldn't loathe the hair God gave them, you know?

Okay, enough, babbling.

hth

~op~

 

[hotshot]

arcadian- hi and welcome!
well i have napps and i think my hair is beautiful. all my friends are natural ( i feel like its mostly napps or weaves in NYC). all our hair is different, but ya gotta just go with it. im never going back. let me repeat that. I AM NEVER GOING BACK. My hair is what it is and I love it. i think when you get to that place, instead of going into it thinking you might perm again, its better. If you give yourself the opportunity it dislike your hair, becoming natural won't be any easier.

I have some nappfriendly fotki albums at my disposal. And by napps I mean NAPPS. Ill see if I can dig them up.

My album is year old, btw, if you happen to check it out.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

I really just wanted to see how long my hair could get while it's relaxed. If I am not satisfied, I'll be going natural on my 21st b-day.

 

[meia]

everything...anything imaginable..ive wanted long hair since as far back as i can remember...im transitioning now.. i got into a conversation with my baby, my mom, my sister- anyone i could think of talking too and they all told me that its not a wise thing to do- that i'll hate it and that i'll probably lose my mind...i have about 2 inches of new growth because my hair grows extra slow and it took me since 4 grade to grow my hair to almost waist length (my hair is near mid back) and im currently 20 in my second year of college.. i love the texture so much but people wont understand that..

i think before i cut it and go all the way natural, i think i'll wear it in some protective styles and give it some time before I can learn to deal with it again with no problem...cos for now im getting fed up...i just want to cut it all off...the ends and the hair before my new growth is parched and dry and crispy from the over processing of the past and my roots are so smooth and moist and well defined..i think i'll just give it time..

 

[indefinite]

I'm considering it. I'm 12 weeks post. I usually get a touch up every 6 weeks religiously. But I had surgery at my sixth week and had a six week recovery. I don't like dealing with a lengthy regiman and I like looking fly at all times, so I don't know.....we'll see.........

 

[Divine Inspiration]

This thread is right on time b/c I've been pondering this very topic all week and considered starting a thread about it. I'm currently 19 weeks post relaxer, and I LOVE my springy coils...I had to ask myself why I was relaxing in December and after much thought and consideration, this is what I came up with...

1. I have shrinkage that should be against the law. It is unreal how much my hair shrinks up, and I'm definitely attached to my length b/c short hair wouldn't look right on me.

2. The only reason I haven't had a ton of breakage and shedding thus far is b/c I've been pooing 1x/wk and CO washing 1x/wk and I don't know that I could keep this cycle up for another year or 2 while I grew the relaxer out. I can't do a huge chop...I'd go crazy.

3. Pilot season is on the horizon and I don't wanna walk into every room with a bun or a wild & crazy style. I know I'll get to a point where I'll want contained hair and the two textures may not allow that. Right now, it's not a big deal...I'm just doing whatever while things are starting to slow down, but when things pick up, I'm not gonna have time to do so much to my hair.

4. Sometimes I just like long, straight, sleek hair, and I'd probably want to press my hair semi-regularly so I would have to have methods of getting a relaxed look on natural hair...I'm currently doing research on this.

But truthfully, the more I stretch, the more I want to go natural. I think I'm gonna stretch myself into being natural at some point. I like the idea of accepting what God gave me and embracing my hair as it is. I also prefer not to deal with stylists if at all possible and as it is, I only go for relaxers and ig I grew the relaxer out, I wouldn't really need a stylist for anything b/c I'd teach myself how to do a lot of natural styles. I honestly think it would be beautiful if I allowed it to flow...the spirals are defined, even without a ton of product and they don't get frizzy as easily as my relaxed hair. I haven't run into any "scab" hair either so I definitely plan to go natural within the next 5 years...

{DI}

 

[meia]

This thread is right on time b/c I've been pondering this very topic all week and considered starting a thread about it. I'm currently 19 weeks post relaxer, and I LOVE my springy coils...I had to ask myself why I was relaxing in December and after much thought and consideration, this is what I came up with...

1. I have shrinkage that should be against the law. It is unreal how much my hair shrinks up, and I'm definitely attached to my length b/c short hair wouldn't look right on me.

2. The only reason I haven't had a ton of breakage and shedding thus far is b/c I've been pooing 1x/wk and CO washing 1x/wk and I don't know that I could keep this cycle up for another year or 2 while I grew the relaxer out. I can't do a huge chop...I'd go crazy.

3. Pilot season is on the horizon and I don't wanna walk into every room with a bun or a wild & crazy style. I know I'll get to a point where I'll want contained hair and the two textures may not allow that. Right now, it's not a big deal...I'm just doing whatever while things are starting to slow down, but when things pick up, I'm not gonna have time to do so much to my hair.

4. Sometimes I just like long, straight, sleek hair, and I'd probably want to press my hair semi-regularly so I would have to have methods of getting a relaxed look on natural hair...I'm currently doing research on this.

But truthfully, the more I stretch, the more I want to go natural. I think I'm gonna stretch myself into being natural at some point. I like the idea of accepting what God gave me and embracing my hair as it is. I also prefer not to deal with stylists if at all possible and as it is, I only go for relaxers and ig I grew the relaxer out, I wouldn't really need a stylist for anything b/c I'd teach myself how to do a lot of natural styles. I honestly think it would be beautiful if I allowed it to flow...the spirals are defined, even without a ton of product and they don't get frizzy as easily as my relaxed hair. I haven't run into any "scab" hair either so I definitely plan to go natural within the next 5 years...

{DI}

you know girl...i was reading the last part (in red) that you wrote and it just made me think..within the next 5 years, i intend upon having kids (hahahaha im shooting for 25....being the damn latest..lol) I want my babies to pull on my long curly hair and to play with it and i want to accept it myself..i think its beautiful and if anyone ever told me when i was little
to keep it the way it was i would have...

i would love to have that natural curly hair blowing down my back...i wouldnt have to be so rough on it because it would just coil naturally but i find myself being rough with it all the time because the straight hair is knotty and twisted...i want to cut it so bad..but im so damn close to being waistlength straight i wouldnt even know where to begin going curly at..

im so lost man...erplexed

 

[Divine Inspiration]

you know girl...i was reading the last part (in red) that you wrote and it just made me think..within the next 5 years, i intend upon having kids (hahahaha im shooting for 25....being the damn latest..lol) I want my babies to pull on my long curly hair and to play with it and i want to accept it myself..i think its beautiful and if anyone ever told me when i was little
to keep it the way it was i would have...

i would love to have that natural curly hair blowing down my back...i wouldnt have to be so rough on it because it would just coil naturally but i find myself being rough with it all the time because the straight hair is knotty and twisted...i want to cut it so bad..but im so damn close to being waistlength straight i wouldnt even know where to begin going curly at..

im so lost man...erplexed

Yep...I won't be getting relaxers while I'm pregnant (if I'm ever pregnant), but then again I have no intentions of being pregnant within the next 5 years. But I definitely think having natural hair is the way to go in light of starting a family b/c there's so much less to worry about...I wanna give my half-pints all of the attention I can...

 

[meia]

Yep...I won't be getting relaxers while I'm pregnant (if I'm ever pregnant), but then again I have no intentions of being pregnant within the next 5 years. But I definitely think having natural hair is the way to go in light of starting a family b/c there's so much less to worry about...I wanna give my half-pints all of the attention I can...

ohh noooo..no relaxers at all..id be worried about the chemicals... oh yess..i agree you dont have to worry about processing and processing over and over again...you can just handle it like normal...hehehe awww i wanna give my babies (yeaa if im lucky to have one before i hit 30 lol) id be so happy...for myself i think..because itll be a big step to take but can you imagine that freedom? just to know youre hair and your scalp are going to scab or burn or anything...sighhh...soon soon lol

 

[CatSuga]

but... what's wrong with having nappy hair?

I mean... dang. It's like it's some sort of curse

Most black folk think that it is.
If your brain has been feed goodhair, long hair, n*gger hair, and relaxer for 20+ years it's gonna be hard to erase that.

 

[CarLiTa]

I want to go natural. I actually said i would a few months back but then I changed my mind. why? VANITY in HIGH SCHOOL... and i want looonng hair for prom and i also want long hair for college but i'd be more willing to chop all my hair off in college anyway.

I don't know how to stretch long enough yet, honestly. I find it pretty hard, and if i was transitioning to natural, i'd want to transition for a year or so, so when I chop it off, I'd have a good amount of natural hair. Why? I have no idea how i'd look with such short hair. I haven't had hair this short since I was a baby. I have a roundish face, so boy... i'm not sure how that'd look. I saw this BEAUTIFUL woman on TV today, and her hair must have been just 3" long... but gosh, if I had a face like hers, I wouldn't be so afraid.

Then again, I have PLENTY of time. i'm only 17. I want that, when I have my babies, that they can pull on mommy's curly hair too. and i want to have babies when i'm 27-28. So maybe, my third year of college, I'll go natural, so that I'll be close to midback or past that, by the time i'm preggers... b/c i dont want chemicals affecting the baby or anything.

Oh i'm also worried about how i'd style my hair for work... i want to be a doctor

 

[sweetascocoa]

nothing is holding me back i have straight up nappy hair and i love it! low maintenance, not dry, soft to touch and i dont have to take vits and stuff to help my hair grow.

 

[uofmpanther]

My hair was natural until the very end of my freshman year of high school. I wanted to get a relaxer before then, but my parents would not let me because they did not want me to put chemicals in my hair. I wanted a relaxer back then because of teasing and because just pressing my hair was a big ordeal that took several hours (I have always had really thick 4b hair).

Now, I have kept my relaxer because it makes it easier for me to do my hair. I'm a law student who also works and is very involved in other activities, so I don't have time to fight with it (though that doesn't mean I don't baby it when I can). Even with a relaxer, my hair is still very thick, but the relaxer makes it a little more manageable, and I don't have to sit for hours while someone applies a hot comb to my head.

Some day I want to go back to being natural because I know all the chemicals can't be good for my body in the long run and I love being in control of what happens to my hair, but I will not put in my own relaxer. With age comes wisdom, so I think as I learn more about my hair, maybe I'll figure out a way to have the best of both worlds - manageability while avoiding the chemicals. In the meantime, I'm sticking to my relaxer

 

[jaded_faerie]

eventually plan on going natural... but at the moment im toooo scared of having no length when i do start

 

[Cincysweetie]

I've not relaxed since July 6,so I don't know what my problem is. Interestingly enough its not like my natural hair is really all that hard to deal with. I think its 4a/b in the top and sides, but don't quote me on that because I could be wrong. The back dosen't seem to have any defined pattern at all, its just sort of wavy

I ask myself all the time why do I bother with relaxers since I don't use heat, haven't used heat in any form for over a year, can't stand curling it, and if I do anything cute with it, it usually involves some kind of finger combing. (after having bad history with the things, I hate curling irons, really do.)

I don't really even have a problem dealing with the textures, and I'm quite amazed how much moisture my hair has now (that part I DO really like!)

I've got between 2-3 inches of new growth sitting there doing its own thing. And to be honest, I let it most of the time

Overall my hair is quite short, not touching my shoulders yet, but amazingly the relaxed ends aren't breaking off.

I guess in a way, this is a bit of a personal experiment. I actually like my natural hair a lot so I may just go for it.

For now, I think I need to make the final step in my brain before I actually say I'm going either way. But, I've got phyto sitting here in the box, which its been just sitting here since september.

-A


PS

BTW HI! I just jump right in don't I?

Welcome!!

 

[Cincysweetie]

eventually plan on going natural... but at the moment im toooo scared of having no length when i do start

Okay...first lemme say your hair looks great in that picture. Second, WHO IS THAT FINE A$$ MAN NEXT TO YOU?? Oooh, girl!!!

ETA: At first glance I thought he kinda resembled Eddie George, who I've always had a thing for...up until he married that dude from SWV.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I want to go natural. I actually said i would a few months back but then I changed my mind. why? VANITY in HIGH SCHOOL... and i want looonng hair for prom and i also want long hair for college but i'd be more willing to chop all my hair off in college anyway.

I don't know how to stretch long enough yet, honestly. I find it pretty hard, and if i was transitioning to natural, i'd want to transition for a year or so, so when I chop it off, I'd have a good amount of natural hair. Why? I have no idea how i'd look with such short hair. I haven't had hair this short since I was a baby. I have a roundish face, so boy... i'm not sure how that'd look. I saw this BEAUTIFUL woman on TV today, and her hair must have been just 3" long... but gosh, if I had a face like hers, I wouldn't be so afraid.

Then again, I have PLENTY of time. i'm only 17. I want that, when I have my babies, that they can pull on mommy's curly hair too. and i want to have babies when i'm 27-28. So maybe, my third year of college, I'll go natural, so that I'll be close to midback or past that, by the time i'm preggers... b/c i dont want chemicals affecting the baby or anything.

Oh i'm also worried about how i'd style my hair for work... i want to be a doctor

I feel you on the bolded parts!

 

[Cincysweetie]

How do you know you wouldn't be able to handle the two textures? Have you stretched unsucessfully?

This is why we are here. There is so much support on this and other sites as well as ideas, techniques and products. Once you make your mind up you can trudge forward. Let me make myself clear before I begin: It's okay to be relaxed. I'm not bashing relaxers at all.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Figure out why you want to go natural.
Study other natural ladies hair(all textures).
Stretch the relaxer a bit, feel the newgrowth, run your fingers through it. Examine it in the mirror. You'll realize that your hair really isn't as "bad" as you thought.

2. Stretch, stretch. stretch...this is the only true way to see what your hair is 'like' and how you can handle it. Experiment with products...

3. Once you realize, this is who you are and how YOUR hair is, you'll make a conscious decision, one way or the other.

4. Do I care what others think, one way or the other?

5. Some people feel they need to speak it with their mouths: 'I'm going natural or growing my relaxer out', etc. Others, like me, found it easier to not tell a soul...why?:
a. the negativity

b. I may not be able to make it..therefore the negative 'celebration' of the negative people....

c. I wanted to get to know my newgrowth better.

Once I made the decision, no matter what my hair looked and felt like, I trudged on. I'll never truly know how it will behave until all my relaxed ends are gone. However, I'm so excited because my natural hair fits me. It suits me so much better. It goes with my eyebrows and skintone. It's me, it is who I am...

Reasons to NOT end your transition:

1. Shedding: you'll get this after a certain amount of weeks. It is okay, you will not go bald.... It does eventually stop or it slows down the more natural you become.

2. Breakage: you will get a certain amount of this. And, basically this is what you want after a certain point because you want the relaxed ends gone anyway. Now, if you are one that isn't comfortable with having short hair, you need to take extra care of the line of demarcation and relaxed ends to retain them. If you need help in stopping breakage, come to the board, keep a journal(this is important because it documents what products and techniqes worked and didn't work.), pay attention to your hair and love it! It's not JUST hair!(we all know this, hence our obession... )

3. Other people!!! This is your life, your hair, YOUR decision.

Because of the ideas that society and our ancestors have ingrained in us we actually have to become, de-programmed. Let's face it, we were NOT born with straight hair. We don't HAVE to relax to 'look right' or 'decent'. It should be a choice. Not a must. Some people like straight hair, but they shouldn't loathe the hair God gave them, you know?

Okay, enough, babbling.

hth

~op~

Thanks for this post. Yes, I have transitioned before, all the breakage and shedding was too much for me.

 

[Netta1]

Let me just say that I can feel most of you all----I used to think some of those thoughts too so I understand. What use to hold me back in a nutshell was FEAR. I was AFRAID OF BEING ME. One day I asked myself why I'm I so afraid to love what GOD gave me....and that sent me on a journey back to my roots. Going natural was something that *I* actually had to pray about I had to come to terms with some deep issues within. I had to face myself...and look at the why behind the what. *I* got TIRED of being a SLAVE to the perm. Trust me prior to my journey I was the LAST person to even think about going natural. If you even mentioned natural to me I woulda' thought you were CRAZY! I used to speak so negatively about my "new growth" I HATED my naps. I JUST KNEW I was going to be permed for LIFE! LOL----thats interesting/sad when you think about it.

I said all that to say that there IS hope. My first step was educating myself regarding the history of our hair....my next step was personal evaluation (by then my solution to not relax had been made),.......my third step was the BC......my final step was/is acceptance (this is on-going as one must continously be realistic in their expectations for their natural hair). For instance I won't get bent out of shape if my fro keeps shrinking up on me-as this is a common characteristic of nappy hair. I think *some people fail at being natural (after they BCed) because *some of them have unrealistic goals of what their natural hair can achieve...i.e. they are expecting their hair to coil up...they BC only to find that there are left with FUZZ. Having not fully transistioned mentally...they go back to what they really want/know which is what they are use to "straighter/more manageable/Less Kinky/GOOD" hair. They have found a "solution" to a "problem"...or so they think. In order to really succed at this thing you really have to change your MIND imo.

Looking back I wish I would've never got a relaxer to begin with and for *me* I do NOT crave going back to that never ending cycle. I think mentally I was just in a different place then I am now....I feel more alive and less like a carbon copy.....

God really knew what he was doing when he gave me my hair....and its amazing how it fits me perfectly.

Remember this*

"When you get tired of running.....you'll stand still.....when you stand still you'll be forced to think.....when you think you'll be challenged to CHANGE." -Netta1

Keep your heads up!

peace.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Oh i'm also worried about how i'd style my hair for work... i want to be a doctor

There are plenty o naturals in medicine. I think 2 strand twists, twist outs, puffs, flat twists, buns, etc are appropriate hairstyles for work. So basically, ther are lots of options! (I personally wouldn't do a big afro at work, though. )

 

[meia]

Most black folk think that it is.
If your brain has been feed goodhair, long hair, n*gger hair, and relaxer for 20+ years it's gonna be hard to erase that.

for me its not that..i never thought that my texture was bad..im in the minorty (maybe majority) that had it done when she was so young she didnt even realize what was going on..my grandma and my moms couldnt get a comb through my hair (that i remember to say the least)..i was afraid and didnt really understand what it was or anything...i didnt have a choice really..

i love my natural texture..im 3c so its coiled and looks quite nice natural...i just dont want to cut it for me..because i like the way it looks long and because ive always wanted long hair since a lot of people in my family have it and look beautiful with it...

i never had control over such a conscious decision so i dont think that the "goodhair, long hair, n*gger hair, and relaxer for 20+ years" held true for me personally...everything ive done since has been for me...im not easily manipulated into those steryotypes