WHY CAN'T I HAVE RELAXED HAIR? I'M THROUGH!

[DDTexlaxed]

I am so mad. I just want relaxed hair that looks relaxed, not semi natural. I am angry because I was hoping to finally grow out relaxed hair, but I think my hair is very resistant. The only time my hair would fully relax was when I was younger. My mom would fully relax my entire head when I was younger. I know I should only retouch my new growth, but I really am tempted... If I have to use heat each time I style my hair, I might as well be a strait natural. If that happens, I will be doing a long transition with heat and roller sets. After being relaxed for 3 weeks, my hair looks like reverted afro. I have to use the flat iron to make it look relaxed. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Mareeღ]

Are you gonna BC again?

 

[sylver2]

im confused..are you growing out the relaxed hair? or what?? u want relax hair? or?

 

[Phoenix14]

Wait I thought you just transitioned? Maybe if you took the time to settle on either relaxed or natural and be patient with whichever one you choose then you can learn to deal with whatever you have on your head be it natural or relaxed.

 

[hopeful]

(((hugs))). Sorry you are so frustrated. Maybe you should just hide your hair for awhile under a wig, or get braids/cornrows with added hair.

 

[Foxglove]

Wait I thought you just transitioned? Maybe if you took the time to settle on either relaxed or natural and be patient with whichever one you choose then you can learn to deal with whatever you have on your head be it natural or relaxed.

Quoted for emphasis

 

[Sianna]

Awww!!! You are just having so much trouble with your poor hair!

Have you tried roller-setting and then wrapping it at night? Wrapping it with some wrap foam and then drying under a hooded dryer?

Just throwing some ideas out there. HTH!

 

[stixx]

I dunno if your hair is long enough to rollerset, but have you tried that?

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

Awwww....I feel your frustration. Maybe you should get some braids to take your mind off your hair.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Are you gonna BC again?

No. I'm venting and frustrated. What happens when you follow the rules of being relaxed and it just doesn't work for you? I think I have a lot of researching to do. I am just so frustrated because I'm tired of going back and forth. I will never BC again. If all else fails, It will be little chops every 4 months. Right now it is too short for roller sets. I think my hair is not fully relaxed and I need a corrective.

 

[sylver2]

yeah why don't you get braids for awhile to help it grow out...until you figure out what u want to do.

 

[Mareeღ]

I think you should just put some cornrows in and wear a wig.

 

[sylver2]

No. I'm venting and frustrated. What happens when you follow the rules of being relaxed and it just doesn't work for you? I think I have a lot of researching to do. I am just so frustrated because I'm tired of going back and forth. I will never BC again. If all else fails, It will be little chops every 4 months. Right now it is too short for roller sets.

i think you are being very impatient. 1st of all it is a hot, muggy summer so having a relaxed style right now will have its challenges. especially when the length is in a difficult stage.
second just deal with it and wait it out. when i cut all my hair off I hated my in between stage but i had to deal with it and wait it out. thank goodness i did.
get some braids for awhile. You would look great in braids. or what about wigs or half wigs?

 

[frizzy]

How do you take care of your relaxed hair on a daily basis? What products do you use? What techniques?

I'm frustrated for you.

 

[Phoenix14]

Why don't you just leave your hair alone? Let it tell you what it needs instead of just being all back and forth abt it. If you need to wear a wig do so, but damn leave it be. It'll prob help with the frustration.

 

[NIN4eva]

With regard to relaxing without losing all of your hair to weakening/damage in the long run, if you're like me you only have two options - really curly or... really curly. My hair will not stay straight, and once I came to terms with that my life became a whole lot easier.

OP are you using Lye or No lye? In my experience, with lye it's easier to obtain smoother straighter styles that last longer. I can just wet roller set with no further need to straighten or air dry loose and then flat iron my hair on "1" (my iron has heat settings from 1-25, I never go beyond "1".) I'm never going for the bone straight look anyway.

With no-lye I'd have to do a full-on blow out (blow dry, then flat iron) and I ain't doin' all that.

Either way there are no wavy or loose curl wash and go's for me. My hair is just not having it.

 

[stixx]

yeah why don't you get braids for awhile to help it grow out...until you figure out what u want to do.

I like this idea...

Realized I can't really relate to the difficulties of styling short hair, because when my hair was that length it was always braided up and weaved. Once your hair gets closer to SL you can get away with stretching for months with minimal heat because the new growth isn't AS obvious.

 

[Bianna125]

I am so mad. I just want relaxed hair that looks relaxed, not semi natural. I am angry because I was hoping to finally grow out relaxed hair, but I think my hair is very resistant. The only time my hair would fully relax was when I was younger. My mom would fully relax my entire head when I was younger. I know I should only retouch my new growth, but I really am tempted... If I have to use heat each time I style my hair, I might as well be a strait natural. If that happens, I will be doing a long transition with heat and roller sets. After being relaxed for 3 weeks, my hair looks like reverted afro. I have to use the flat iron to make it look relaxed. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm sorry you're having such frustration. As a relaxed head, I don't recommend using heat each time you style your hair. If you just relaxed your hair 3 weeks ago, your strands are still fragile. Heat would be the last thing on my mind. Maybe try a half wig, full wig, or something. Let your hair rest for a while, so it can grow healthily. (by a while I mean a few months ) Keep it clean and moisturized, and avoid heat! Focus on something else that makes you happy other than hair, because it is not an overnight process.

Also, being relaxed does not mean your hair is straight all the time. If you force your hair to be straight all the time, it will fight back with damage like split ends, dryness, etc... There is no generic "relaxed look" that comes without heat. Air dried relaxed hair still has some texture and is much healthier than the flat ironed "straight from the salon look!"

Looks like this and other straight styles are NOT the daily norm for relaxed heads. My hair only looks like how it does above....once every 3 months.

Hope this helps

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Wait... you relaxed???? Where was I? Dang I'm all behind lol....

Well.... I don't want to sound harsh but I agree with Sylver and Phoenix. Just let it be for a bit. You have to get to know your grass girl. Patience is the key. IMHO Doing what works for everyone else's hair isn't going to cut it regardless of being relaxed or natural.

Hope you do something fun to get your mind off of the frustration. Get some cornrows and rock a short wig. It will make you feel zesty! Trust me on that one.

 

[Lovelylocs]

DDtexlaxed, who relaxes your hair for you? You may need to find someone new.

 

[glamazon386]

I swear you hold the board's record for transitions and BCs. I'm sorry you haven't been able to figure out something that works for you. It sounds like your hair is underprocessed. Have you thought about doing a corrective relaxer? Maybe you should wait 6-8 weeks or so and once you have some new growth try that.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Which relaxer did you use?

 

[naturalpride]

Maybe you should go to a salon for your relaxers

 

[LittleLuxe]

I think you should list what your techniques, practices, and products are OP and maybe folk will be able to help you figure this out.

I can tell you're serious about figuring it out so the only thing now is to figure out how to get what you want. I know how it is to be trying to do everything right and still be struggling and not getting what you want out of your hair.

Good luck OP, don't be stressed!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I am so mad. I just want relaxed hair that looks relaxed, not semi natural. I am angry because I was hoping to finally grow out relaxed hair, but I think my hair is very resistant. The only time my hair would fully relax was when I was younger. My mom would fully relax my entire head when I was younger. I know I should only retouch my new growth, but I really am tempted... If I have to use heat each time I style my hair, I might as well be a strait natural. If that happens, I will be doing a long transition with heat and roller sets. After being relaxed for 3 weeks, my hair looks like reverted afro. I have to use the flat iron to make it look relaxed. I just don't know what to do anymore.

LOL you should see my hair when i take it out the bun, it looks like i didnt texlax, but im loving it either way. i know how you feel. but if i were you, id relax my whole head AGAIN.

 

[Foxglove]

DDtexlaxed, who relaxes your hair for you? You may need to find someone new.

She got it done by a professional in Vegas
ETA I would go to the salon for rollersets with small rollers until your hair grows out a little. I wouldn't do another relaxer bc that would lead to breakage and overprocessing which would further frustrate you

 

[knt1229]

I noticed you typed that your hair is not long enough to rollerset. If that's your current length in your siggy then you can rollerset. You need the small blue Goody magnetic rollers or maybe even the yellow ones.

A few years ago I had a short pixie/spiky type haircut that was shaved in the back and I could and did rollerset.

Like some of the other ladies have said you should list the things you do to your hair. It might be your technique that is causing your hair to frizz and not get smooth and straight.

 

[NessaNessa]

Why don't you just leave your hair alone? Let it tell you what it needs instead of just being all back and forth abt it. If you need to wear a wig do so, but damn leave it be. It'll prob help with the frustration.

Yes, Yes, Yes A thousand times over!!!!

 

[Bnster]

DDT let us know what you are actually doing, daily and what your process/products for washing and frequency.

Also be descriptive on how your hair feels like, is it dry, is the roots thick, is it just the ends not lying flat, is it just the ends dry, is it frizzing, are your hairlines/nape area already curly? When did you notice when it already started being curly, before you washed and you blame it on the humidity, after you wash 1st, 2nd time, 3 time? Can you take a picture on how it is now?

Your hair will grow and you can have length. Right now you/we need to figure out how to handle your short hair in this relax stage to get your desire output. You will have beautiful hair trust us. Post again or we will be PMing. I don't feel like I am the best person with only 1 yr on this journey for the ultimate advice, but I will help anyway I can. It will be trial and error to see what your hair needs.

 

[BGT]

Isn't your name DDtexlaxed?