OP owns wigs that I imagine her and the bride are close enough to have discussed before. Right or wrong?
OP owns wigs that I imagine her and the bride are close enough to have discussed before. Right or wrong?
That may be the case, but if this is true then why was this post made in the first place? If it was all discussed and so clearly laid out. I think the OP may feel like this is out of left field precisely because they didn't discuss it previously as it relates to the event coming up. Just because you see me with micro braids does not mean I want to get them done to be more palatable to you, kwim?
Should I feel like a bride thinks something of my style because she asks me to wear a dress, shoes and jewelry she picked out?
No, but that wasn't the point. I was talking about hair... clothing and accessories to me are different. If you are so concerned about uniformity I can't imagine being soo busy that you forget about the biggest component of the aesthetic you are going for at a highly visible event like a wedding.
I made the comment about myself, a black woman, not knowing black women were so touchy about her hair because the OP for whatever reason said her friend was white (by her own admission she doesn't know why she mentioned that), my non-black friends don't care about hair at all and would never know that this was as serious to some as it is.
Non-black friends do not have the same experience regarding their hair's acceptance, texture, care, or ways it can be manipulated--or even what is/isn't acceptable in certain settings. Maybe she mentioned because she did not feel her friend grasped the issue of her type of hair? Not all people are hair fanatics, not all people care about hair. That is all well and good but you still cannot deny the history that is in black hair. It is what it is..
I'm not attacking the OP for feeling what she feels. I was addressing the angry brigade that came along after the fact on some "don't go to the wedding" type of nonsense as if the bride is out to get her or thinks so low of her.
I never said you attacked the OP; the out to get her stuff is hyperbole at best. I think PPs have brought up great points. There is nothing wrong with wanting homogenization in a wedding, but if, for example, she is requiring an up do and OP has enough hair for it--why not? Not going to the wedding is just as valid as going. It is her choice and they were just offering their perspective. If she doesn't want to manipulate her hair or wear a wig then don't do it. Simple.
Real talk if I hated someone or everything they stand for they wouldn't be in my wedding. I don't get how this turned into a racist undertone convo for a bride asking someone who has admitted that they don't do much with their hair and had no idea what they were going to do to their hair to do something specific to it.
Regardless of wether or not the OP knows why she mentioned race in this post, people are allowed to address it. Hair leads to hurt feelings sometimes. There are posts on here about that topic like clockwork. She said her feelings may have been hurt. Also, it has been noted that straightening hair for white women can be different than it is for some black women so that's pretty much how it went there. I offered my opinion in addressing all of the comments about it being 'just hair' and
Sheesh I hope I'm never in a situation where I say "$7 annually...this BETTER be good". $7 annual fee for a year is seriously nothing and if that says I REALLY care about hair...ok.
I hope you are not either; and I hope you realized that is not what I said. I said most people are paying to talk about hair and things concerning hair. Of course 7 dollars isn't a lot of money; no one said it was.. but if I didn't want to talk about hair I wouldn't pay 7 dollars to be here. That's what I said since this is... you know the Long Hair Care Forum.But... as you said, okay...
It is just hair for the majority of people on earth.
Now this is something I might object to. What if the beautician she selected sucks and would fry my hair?!
I find it really amazing that this is such a big deal. I wonder if this would be a big deal if the bride was black.
It's the OP's decision. If she doesn't want to straiten her hair, she doesn't have to. Most bridesmaids do what the bride asks so her day would be just as she wishes. You really only understand if it is YOUR wedding. Most of all, friends of the bride gladly accept because they want to make their friend happy. It isn't about a "dictatorship."
erplexed
