I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 advice

[carameldelight87]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

It's hard to believe it would take 2 days to detangle 5 inches of hair.

Suggestions:
1 - Stop washing your hair loose. Braid or twist (tightly) your hair into at lest 4 sections (preferrably 6) before you get in the shower to wash.
2 - Detangle in smaller sections. I usually do about 9 sections when I detangle. As you detangle twist/braid the hair out of the way to prevent retangling.
3 - Use more than just a wide tooth comb. Start with your fingers, then use the wide tooth comb, then follow up with a smaller comb. The problem could be that you aren't ACTUALLY detangling your hair during those "2 days."
4 - Relax. It hasn't been long enough for you to diagnose your hair as unmanageable.

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

lol it takes that long because of my schedule... Where as when I was relaxed it took a lot less for my demanding life style. My texture is about a 4b and I really try to take my time because with the ssk's because if I rush there is alot of breakage... It also seems really dry and as if my hair has a hard time accepting moisture. I generally wear my hair in twist or braids throughout the week. I never take them down until wash day. I finger comb the braids out wash with shea moisture moisture shampoo or Vo5 moisture milk. I then dc with aubrey organics honey suckle rose or oyin honey hemp After that is washed out I apply tresseme or traderjoes to assist with detangling and I try to airdry over night.

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Another thing is I dont mean that I am physically up for 2 days straight detangling my hair. What I mean is it is so time consuming to the point that I get frustrated have to stop take care of an infant go back to detangling stop etc.. that I dont even get through my whole head before night fall.

 

[BlaqBella]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I don't know about the shea moisture but if your using moisture milk/vo5shampoo then (like was mentioned I believe ) that shampoo is probably very drying/stripping. And you may need to research dry 4a/b hair-moisturizing 4a/b hair and try some of the methods you find. I agree with most thats been said. Let us know what you decide.

 

[carameldelight87]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Have you tried just co-washing? No shampoo at all. Or a sulfate-free shampoo?

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I have tried just co washing but i'm going to give it another try. I believe where I messed up with that was I was applying tooo much condish to my scalp because lately it is really itchy and no matter what i do will tame it. That is why I went back to the shampoo. I am too afraid of build up. @ CarmelD I do use a sulfate-free shampoo but I'm going to just start co-washing and using condish to detangle and maybe doing a mid-week detangle with kckt. I really do appreciate the advice Ladies. Right now i'm going to just try and tough it out. I'm hoping things get easier though.

 

[carameldelight87]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Well let us know how it turns out. Good luck.

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I have tried just co washing but i'm going to give it another try. I believe where I messed up with that was I was applying tooo much condish to my scalp because lately it is really itchy and no matter what i do will tame it. That is why I went back to the shampoo. I am too afraid of build up. @ CarmelD I do use a sulfate-free shampoo but I'm going to just start co-washing and using condish to detangle and maybe doing a mid-week detangle with kckt. I really do appreciate the advice Ladies. Right now i'm going to just try and tough it out. I'm hoping things get easier though.

It will get easier. And I hear ya on trying to get you hai done while running to an infant (mine is 4 months). Wash day is, literally, an all day process. I start when I wake and finish when the kids are in bed.

Co-washing helps A LOT. You gotta get that moisture up. I know I sound like a broken record but have you considered Joico Moisture Recovery treatment balm? My mom has coarse 4b hair. NOTHING worked for her. I told her for months to get Joico but she didn't want to dish out the money (It's $17 at Ulta. I was spending $30 at Trade Secret until I checked Ulta ). She FINALLY bought it (there was a sale at Ulta) and after one application she was HOOKED. Her hair is INSANELY soft and she only has to DC once a week now. From my experience with different hairtypes (my family has a range from 3a/b to 4b/c and I do everyones hair lol) it has worked for all of us. This may help with your moisture issue (which happens after many BC's) and lessen the need to do your hair more often. I slap it on on wash day and go about my day with my kids. After a few hours my hair is easy to detangle (or add heat to speed it up). I'm telling you, I can't rave about this product enough They really should pay me).

Also, to help with the drying effects with shampoo (I personally always use sulfate shampoos. I love them too much lol) I do a hot oil treatment beforehand. My hair is never dry when I shampoo after an oil pre-poo. Not to mention it adds shine. I hope that helps. KUP.

 

[nomadpixi]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

lol it takes that long because of my schedule... Where as when I was relaxed it took a lot less for my demanding life style. My texture is about a 4b and I really try to take my time because with the ssk's because if I rush there is alot of breakage... It also seems really dry and as if my hair has a hard time accepting moisture. I generally wear my hair in twist or braids throughout the week. I never take them down until wash day. I finger comb the braids out wash with shea moisture moisture shampoo or Vo5 moisture milk. I then dc with aubrey organics honey suckle rose or oyin honey hemp After that is washed out I apply tresseme or traderjoes to assist with detangling and I try to airdry over night.

I think it was mentioned before, but I'd like to strongly suggest oil rinsing: rinse hair in very warm water, use oil as a washing agent (maybe a ceramide oil: rice bran, etc) rinse again, then use conditioner as a detangler. This works well for my 4a/b lil bit of 3b hair. This is the ONLY reason I decided to transition to natural and it's what keeps me from going crazy getting a shower comb through my hair. I've used other oils too like avocado, olive, etc. Try it and let us know how it worked for you.
HTH

 

[Curlykale]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

My magic word is: oil rinses. Life will never be the same again.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=150965&highlight=oil+rinses

Also, leaving conditioner on your length and sealing with a ceramide oil such as sunflower, and checking every night if you need to remoisturize (with a water based product such as a conditioner), will help a lot.

Great sealants are also avocado butter, ceramide oils (sunflower, grapeseed, hemp...) and a castor/almond mix.

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Thanks again i'm going to try that next wash day.... Fingers crossed it works well

 

[ms-gg]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I have tried just co washing but i'm going to give it another try. I believe where I messed up with that was I was applying tooo much condish to my scalp because lately it is really itchy and no matter what i do will tame it. That is why I went back to the shampoo. I am too afraid of build up. @ CarmelD I do use a sulfate-free shampoo but I'm going to just start co-washing and using condish to detangle and maybe doing a mid-week detangle with kckt. I really do appreciate the advice Ladies. Right now i'm going to just try and tough it out. I'm hoping things get easier though.

Try detangling before you wash your hair. I go a long time between washes too and if I just washed my hair with all that shed hair trapped in my braids and twists it would be a nightmare (ask me how I know).

I suggest using something like coconut oil and a conditioner or coconut oil and aloe juice to work out all of the tangles and shed hair before you wash.

 

[faithVA]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Try detangling before you wash your hair. I go a long time between washes too and if I just washed my hair with all that shed hair trapped in my braids and twists it would be a nightmare (ask me how I know).

I suggest using something like coconut oil and a conditioner or coconut oil and aloe juice to work out all of the tangles and shed hair before you wash.

I cosign this. Nightmare is the right word -- and I know how you know.

 

[faithVA]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

You gotta get that moisture up.

-- Changes everything.

I know I sound like a broken record but have you considered Joico Moisture Recovery treatment balm?

I want to check this out. Do you use any other Joico products?

Also, to help with the drying effects with shampoo (I personally always use sulfate shampoos. I love them too much lol) I do a hot oil treatment beforehand. My hair is never dry when I shampoo after an oil pre-poo. Not to mention it adds shine. I hope that helps. KUP.

I use a Sulfate shampoo as well with a pre-poo and it works fine, no drying, min. to no tangling. But it's back to getting that moisture up.

 

[AnotherLevel]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

My 4b hair is very tightly coiled but I've never had a problem with SSK's. I think this is because of a few things:

1. I do EVERYTHING in sections: prepoo, (co)wash, DC, detangle, and band/braid/twist.

2. I NEVER let my hair dry loose. I either band, braid, or twist it.

3. I (this is just me) don't detangle my hair until the very end. I separate my hair into sections to prepoo, (co)wash, and DC. After my DC has been in my hair for the desired length of time, I detangle my hair in the shower (while still in sections) with my Hercules Magic Star Rake Comb (this is a lighter detangle). I then rinse the DC and add my leave in (while still in sections). One by one, I detangle each section again with my Denman brush. After it's detangled, I proceed to banding, twisting, or braiding.

This may sound like a lot but trust me it takes no time at all... maybe 10 minutes for the final detangling. I lose very few hairs in my Denman brush (but I believe this is because I incorporate protein in every wash) and I rarely ever see a single SSK.

Oh, and I have given up shampoo. This has made my hair a lot less dry. I clarify with an ACV rinse and (co)wash with Hair One. I've noticed a nice difference in my hair since letting go of traditional shampoo.

HTH

 

[havilland]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

i am texlaxed....but i kept ALOT of my texture. my hair is very very close to my natural texture, so i still have some detangling issues.

going natural was too much work to me. BUT, i wanted my texture and thickness, so i texlaxed. i treat my hair with care, deep condition weekly, no heat, etc. it still takes me time to detangle.

i am not against going natural. i think you might want to give it some more time and try a few regimens before you throw in the towel.


here are my "chime ins" ---

i would definitely dump the shampoo. this may make all the difference. i like to use clarifying conditioner on my texlaxed hair. i use V05 key lime clarifying condish and i love it!

having said that, if you do texlax, dilute a mild relaxer with oil, as others have said OR try a mild low lye relaxer. i use design essentials low lye relaxer and i love it. and use a regimen that is appropriate for chemically treated hair.

good luck!

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Another Level my hair resembles yours in your siggy pic but your hair is a lot longer. Ms-gg i totally agree and i will have to detangle before washing to remove shed hair because this is a huge part of my issue... I also will try that joico product mentioned (thanks for that).. So i am waiting to wash my hair again to try the oil rinse because my scalp is sore from all the detangling lol and I need to let my hair and scalp recover from the trauma, but tonight I did moisturize with KcKt and seal with a 3 diff oils that made removing all of the shed hairs a breeze I cant wait to try this mix (avocado oil, sunflower oil, and morrocan oil) for the oil rinse.... I so appreciate you ladies and this forum because I would have slapped a perm up in this head for sure if not for the advice... lol
off to read some threads

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Oh, and I have given up shampoo. This has made my hair a lot less dry. I clarify with an ACV rinse and (co)wash with Hair One. I've noticed a nice difference in my hair since letting go of traditional shampoo.

HTH [/QUOTE]

Do you do acv rinses everytime you wash or just once a month??
Does it dry your hair out or cause breakage??

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Wash in braids/sections. I NEVER wash my hair loose anymore. When it was 4-5in. I put them in 4 sections with ouchless scrunchies. Once it got longer (Now I'm about 8in) I wash in twists or braids ALWAYS. It keeps the hair stretched and MUCH easier to detangle.


Honestly, keeping it stretched at all times should help A LOT.

I wear my hair braided in sections all week but I mist admitt I do nothing to maintain the moisture all week. I was looking for a sprtiz type moisturizer and have tried 2 many but nothing keeps it truly moisturized.. I'm def going to only wash with braids in sections after detangling with oil. As far a shampoo if I dump it i'm concerned with my hair and scalp not being clean... Trial and error i guess...

 

[Kiki0130]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I have to agree with the ladies advising Oil-Rinsing, Moca...

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=150965-dont-sleep-oil-rinses-2.html

 

[AnotherLevel]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Oh, and I have given up shampoo. This has made my hair a lot less dry. I clarify with an ACV rinse and (co)wash with Hair One. I've noticed a nice difference in my hair since letting go of traditional shampoo.

HTH

Do you do acv rinses everytime you wash or just once a month??
Does it dry your hair out or cause breakage??[/QUOTE]

I've just started this a month ago but yes, I do a ACV rinse with every wash (weekly). I dilute my ACV 1:3, putting 2oz in an 8oz bottle and filling the rest with bottled water. I've noticed that this gets my scalp and hair fairly clean and leaves my hair super soft.

I do plan to use a real clarifying shampoo every so often if I feel my hair needs it though.

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

faithVA - I use K-pak as well. the protein treatment and the shampoo. I use the treatment about once a month and the shampoo every other week.

 

[havilland]

I wear my hair braided in sections all week but I mist admitt I do nothing to maintain the moisture all week. I was looking for a sprtiz type moisturizer and have tried 2 many but nothing keeps it truly moisturized.. I'm def going to only wash with braids in sections after detangling with oil. As far a shampoo if I dump it i'm concerned with my hair and scalp not being clean... Trial and error i guess...

I use rosewater mixed with glycerin to moisturiZe and then i seal with olive oil or coconut oil. It's cheap and I get the products from vitacost.com or the health food store. To me it's easier to mix my own stuff then to try different brand type products.

Sent from my iPhone while out living my best life!

 

[Alta Angel]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

I do most of the things already talked about in the thread. I prepoo with Yes To Tomatoes Condish and olive oil and seperate my hair into 6-8 braids. I do not detangle at this time, I let the conditioner do the work. I then wash my hair with Shea Moisture sulfate-free shampoo. As I apply my deep conditioner, I comb through each section with a wide-toothed comb and rebraid (this takes 15-20 minutes). My DC has slip and this process is never difficult. I sit under the steamer for thirty minutes and then rinse with cool water.

The Kimmaytube Leave-In is my staple moisturizer. I apply it once immediately after wash/condition (usually on Sunday) and apply a smaller amount again during the week (usually on Wed). I wear buns, braidouts, and updos as my go-to styles. Twists make my hair knot terribly.

 

[Curlykale]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

Just wanted to add this:

I texturized for 14 years before going natural and my hair was constantly apl (now it is bra strap) and it almost looked the same as now, except it had less volume. But it was much more difficult to detangle. Same thing when I was transitioning. Maybe because the strands were thinner and more porous. So, when I was texlaxed, I used to solve the problem getting demi permanent color every 2 months. It helped with a problem of dullness that I had as well. Just wanted to add this, just in case there are texturized or texlaxed people with this problem.

 

[Moca]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

SOoooo I must admitt that I have learned a lot from this thread alone let alone this forum so A big THANK YOU to all the ladies that gave me some much needed advice!! I washed my hair monday and first off it was a huge success. I oiled my hair while still in braids with a mix of argon and avocado oil. Then I proceeded to wash my hair with hair one argon oil cleansing cream. So far so good... I then did a mini deep conditioner with aubreys organics while still in braids after thouroughly washing that out I took the braids out one by one and applied KCNT that I had previously mixed with aloe and then applied the avocado and argon oil again. Once my hair air dried I spritzed it with a concoction of care free curl instant moisturizer mixed with a little honey, water and a dribble of acv ( I don't exactly remember all that I put into the bottle because I did this a while ago so i will experiment again when I run out) The tangles melted right away. I then spritzed my hair with a little water and detangled each braid at a time rebraiding when I was done... Soft shiny hair with little to no tangle or matting and get this I was done in about 2 hours which is a new record for me..

I'm so glad I didnt do something out of frustration and must admitt this is going to truly be a journey about patience and trusting that my self can accomplish what I set out
which is to have healthy natural hair and to be an example to my daughters
the biggest lesson learned is that I must lead by example
lol that is all

 

[GraceV]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

SOoooo I must admitt that I have learned a lot from this thread alone let alone this forum so A big THANK YOU to all the ladies that gave me some much needed advice!! I washed my hair monday and first off it was a huge success. I oiled my hair while still in braids with a mix of argon and avocado oil. Then I proceeded to wash my hair with hair one argon oil cleansing cream. So far so good... I then did a mini deep conditioner with aubreys organics while still in braids after thouroughly washing that out I took the braids out one by one and applied KCNT that I had previously mixed with aloe and then applied the avocado and argon oil again. Once my hair air dried I spritzed it with a concoction of care free curl instant moisturizer mixed with a little honey, water and a dribble of acv ( I don't exactly remember all that I put into the bottle because I did this a while ago so i will experiment again when I run out) The tangles melted right away. I then spritzed my hair with a little water and detangled each braid at a time rebraiding when I was done... Soft shiny hair with little to no tangle or matting and get this I was done in about 2 hours which is a new record for me..

I'm so glad I didnt do something out of frustration and must admitt this is going to truly be a journey about patience and trusting that my self can accomplish what I set out
which is to have healthy natural hair and to be an example to my daughters
the biggest lesson learned is that I must lead by example
lol that is all

I'm glad you found what works for you. Making a radical hair decision like relaxing or going natural isn't something that should be done lightly or out of frustration. Good luck!

 

[geejay]

Re: I'm so discouraged with my natural hair!!! Calling all texlaxers and naturals4 ad

SOoooo I must admitt that I have learned a lot from this thread alone let alone this forum so A big THANK YOU to all the ladies that gave me some much needed advice!! I washed my hair monday and first off it was a huge success. I oiled my hair while still in braids with a mix of argon and avocado oil. Then I proceeded to wash my hair with hair one argon oil cleansing cream. So far so good... I then did a mini deep conditioner with aubreys organics while still in braids after thouroughly washing that out I took the braids out one by one and applied KCNT that I had previously mixed with aloe and then applied the avocado and argon oil again. Once my hair air dried I spritzed it with a concoction of care free curl instant moisturizer mixed with a little honey, water and a dribble of acv ( I don't exactly remember all that I put into the bottle because I did this a while ago so i will experiment again when I run out) The tangles melted right away. I then spritzed my hair with a little water and detangled each braid at a time rebraiding when I was done... Soft shiny hair with little to no tangle or matting and get this I was done in about 2 hours which is a new record for me..

I'm so glad I didnt do something out of frustration and must admitt this is going to truly be a journey about patience and trusting that my self can accomplish what I set out
which is to have healthy natural hair and to be an example to my daughters
the biggest lesson learned is that I must lead by example
lol that is all

Glad you found something that worked for you.