You're hair is not growing, stop lying to yourself...

[metro_qt]

You're nice, I don't go out of my way to offer hair care suggestions. If you ask I'd tell ya if you adopt it good if not *shrug*

Exactly.
Op is this advice solicited or unsolicited? If she doesn't specifically come up to you and ask for hair tips, not only will this fall on deaf ears because you appear as a know-it-all, but its also pretentious, as in you know whats best (even if you do).... Unless she asks you to help her, let her do what she does, and you do you.

One day your hair will be so beautiful it inspires her to grill you about what your reggie is...

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

Unless someone asks, there is no need to TELL them their hair has been the same length IMO. Before my HHJ, my hair grew (was retained) until about 1-2" past SL at most during a "good" phase...but I wouldn't have appreciated someone just walking up to me or randomly saying during conversation "Um, honey, yo hair ain't growin" I only get into it IF my help is solicited.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Some people are not willing to put the time and effort into it because it's just not THAT serious to them..... and that's okay. I've found that it's best NOT to get too invested in someone else's follicles.

 

[MsLizziA]

Unless someone asks, there is no need to TELL them their hair has been the same length IMO. Before my HHJ, my hair grew (was retained) until about 1-2" past SL at most during a "good" phase...but I wouldn't have appreciated someone just walking up to me or randomly saying during conversation "Um, honey, yo hair ain't growin" I only get into it IF my help is solicited.

I didn't actually say it outloud EbonyCPrincess

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

@ The original post.....@MsLizziA you are mean!!! LOL

there are fiftyeleven people on this board that have had the same length since I joined. I sometimes wonder what the heck they're doin, but I think the fact is their either doing nothing, or too much.

As for your friend, let her be. If she's not ready to take proper care of her hair so that she retains adequate length, mek her stay. When she's ready to make a change, she will. Then she'll likely welcome your help.

I think length care and maintenance are also good goals to have, --particularly when you have three strings of hair brushing your waist while the rest of your hair is BSL (I exagerrate, but ya'll know what I'm talkin' about!)....but that's beside the point--I've had the same thought myself a time or two. I also notice a lot of the YT'ers don't have significant length (and some don't even have nice looking hair), yet they dole out advice and demos on the reg...

 

[CrueltyFree]

I have the same issue with my twin sis. Her hair has been the same length for over two years now and it frustrates me because she always wants to use my hair products and combs, but she never listens or follows my hair advice. I cut my hair down shorter than hers earlier this year and my hair has surpased her's already.

I've got her on some good hair products, but she won't listen to me about using them correctly. She calls herself trimming her hair almost every time she does it. Low manipulation is completely impossible for her because she's always combing it, even after she twists it up. I ask her why are you undoing your twists and you just put them in yesterday. She'll say "because my hair is tangled" and gets an attitude. She wears a wig and takes better care of the weave than she does her own hair.

I can't be bothered anymore. I don't share my hair products or tools with her if I can help it. Call me petty. I'm not gonna waste my precious qhemet or other products on her if she can't even take some simple advice and has the nerve to cop an attitude. It's that deep to me.lol

It's annoying and really boils my noodles, but I just keep my unsolicited opinions, hair products and advice to myself about her hair. Even if she does ask me about something, I'll point her to a blog or something because it's a waste of breath if I say anything because to her I know nothing (when that clearly isn't the case on so many levels)

 

[lilyofthenile]

Growing probably yes, retaining, no. And sometimes people are just in denial.

 

[Bublin]

I have a friend that has been natural for 8 years. Apart from when she takes her extension cornrows out to wash it and go the hairdresser to get it done again, she doesn't know how to do her own hair. She wears those rows for about 2 months at a time and applies grease to 'moisturise'.....and she doesn't even rinse.

It is soooo dry and thin and broken. Stretched, it is just above her shoulders, yet i have been natural just shy of 2 years and mine is almost shoulder length (including lots of trims)

She seems to think she has 'retained' all her length. I'm perplexed by the way she thinks.

She sees my hair and makes positive comments so i gently offer my advice but her eyes glaze over by the time i get to deep conditioning. She says it all sounds like too much hard work.

 

[Renewed1]

I tried to help my sister who has had SL hair for about 8 years now. I told her what to do...like stop using the curling iron everyday.

I don't comment on anyone's hair unless they asked for me opinion.

 

[MsLizziA]

I have a friend that has been natural for 8 years. Apart from when she takes her extension cornrows out to wash it and go the hairdresser to get it done again, she doesn't know how to do her own hair. She wears those rows for about 2 months at a time and applies grease to 'moisturise'.....and she doesn't even rinse.

It is soooo dry and thin and broken. Stretched, it is just above her shoulders, yet i have been natural just shy of 2 years and mine is almost shoulder length (including lots of trims)

She seems to think she has 'retained' all her length. I'm perplexed by the way she thinks.

She sees my hair and makes positive comments so i gently offer my advice but her eyes glaze over by the time i get to deep conditioning. She says it all sounds like too much hard work.

See that's what I'm saying, I just don't understand things like that . The proof is there that u know what ur talking about n they just...... yea.. its whateva

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[chocolat79]

MsLizziA .... You did the right thing by changing the subject. You can't save everybody or anybody if they don't want it. Just nod your head and keep it moving.

 

[appplecidder]

I have learned to just keep my hair advice to myself and once people see my gorgeous locks slagin in wind they will look to my for help. Like my sister situation. I told her once she dyed the leave out of her weave to keep it moisturized, deep condition,and not to use a lot of heat. When she first got her weave installed her leave out was at the middle of her lip.. Now fast forward 2 months later it is at the top of her nose. Then she proceeded to say " I should of listed to you"

Sent from my MB200 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[lolascurls]

I would just say, "Don't give unsolicited advice". As many other ladies have pointed out already, it puts one on the defensive. Secondly, I would not point anyone to this site who hasn't been asking, researching and practicing some good hair care techniques for a while, first. I lurked on here for a while but still felt out of the loop for ~1-2yrs. Then as my hair neared BSL, it all clicked and I was really on it! Now I know when to dip in and out of the forum. She may give you the "those ladies are all mixed, have good hair...back-talk" if she comes on here without being receptive.

 

[NicWhite]

I live by the military's policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

When it comes to hair advice, If they don't ask, I don't tell.

 

[itsjusthair88]

I have a friend that has been natural for 8 years. Apart from when she takes her extension cornrows out to wash it and go the hairdresser to get it done again, she doesn't know how to do her own hair. She wears those rows for about 2 months at a time and applies grease to 'moisturise'.....and she doesn't even rinse.

It is soooo dry and thin and broken. Stretched, it is just above her shoulders, yet i have been natural just shy of 2 years and mine is almost shoulder length (including lots of trims)

She seems to think she has 'retained' all her length. I'm perplexed by the way she thinks.

She sees my hair and makes positive comments so i gently offer my advice but her eyes glaze over by the time i get to deep conditioning. She says it all sounds like too much hard work.

This. One of the girl's that initially inspired me to go natural, her hair is now shorter than mine . Why? She refuses to do anything to it, just wears it in an untangled mess and finally she asked me about my hair, because it was a rare occasion where I was wearing it out (and my hair is NOTHING to get envious about, just a little SL poofball lol) and I could tell the second I started talking about my reggie she was bored...so, you know...

I changed the subject...not everybody wants to do all of "that stuff" to get the healthy hair...but I do.

CocoT I am jealous you have a twin...I want one.

 

[Lovelylocs]

This is simple. Leave her alone. You were probably out of line. UNless she asked you for advice...

Having long hair is a luxury. She must feel that she is just one of those people who cannot grow long hair.

 

[Moca]

As a friend looking out for another friend you were not out of line. This is one of the problems with women. Some of us can't stand for another women to know more than them or to have surpassed them and or give them advice. Even if they approach you with the issue it's like they know it all already. Then **** why you telling me if you don't want or expect a comment. I'm real and I will tell you the real and if you don't want to hear it then don't bring it up!!!

As a real friend you offer the adivce on an as needed basis because thats what friends do. When you notice resistance you back off and worry about your own... P.s a lot of people are in denial about beauty and health and everyone just knows every damn thing until something is just mucked up and damn near falling off lol....

p.p.s I just had a friend call me and complain about their man and when I properly communicate back to her that she is supporting the habit and part of the issue. She gotta go.... smh yeah ok...

 

[MsLizziA]

As a friend looking out for another friend you were not out of line. This is one of the problems with women. Some of us can't stand for another women to know more than them or to have surpassed them and or give them advice. Even if they approach you with the issue it's like they know it all already. Then **** why you telling me if you don't want or expect a comment. I'm real and I will tell you the real and if you don't want to hear it then don't bring it up!!!

As a real friend you offer the adivce on an as needed basis because thats what friends do. When you notice resistance you back off and worry about your own... P.s a lot of people are in denial about beauty and health and everyone just knows every damn thing until something is just mucked up and damn near falling off lol....

p.p.s I just had a friend call me and complain about their man and when I properly communicate back to her that she is supporting the habit and part of the issue. She gotta go.... smh yeah ok...

Moca I totally agree with this