List the words you hate people use to describe kinky hair

[FrazzledFraggle]

Unprofessional.

Our hair, as it grows out of our head, is not unprofessional.

Honestly I hear this one perpetuated by whites and blacks equally. The notion that our hair, chemically unaltered, is unprofessional is simply ridiculous and discriminatory.

 

[allmundjoi]

"Like pubic hair"

 

[Lilmama1011]

Moody grass.

I've heard some elderly folks say this. Apparently its some kind of invasive weed.

Definitely never heard

 

[AmyRose92]

"Nappy" will always be at the top of my list

Then there are those who won't outright say "bad hair," but will compare it to a silkier, shinier texture and say that's "good hair." This one REALLY grinds my gears.

 

[BostonMaria]

"Slave hair"

My BFF calls her natural hair slave hair and refuses to wear it out.

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[Simply_elle]

I think I heard my mom say cucuburls or something like that

Is she southern?

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[MsSanz92]

Wooly or cotton like. Mostly the YTs do and it irks me soo much! It also really pisses me when people say "not everyone can pull off natural hair" or "natural hair is not for everyone" WHAT?? I was born with my hair like this so how can't it be for me or I can't pull off how I WAS BORN??

 

[larry3344]

My mother is African and she calls my hair bush and crazy, we just had an argument about how she feels about natural hair I have talked about it on the board and she flat out told me that she feels ugly with that hair and cannot be seen with me outside with my natural hair. She is projecting her feelings and insecurities about her beauty and trying to turn it into her concern for me. She told me I can't work in an office with my hair regardless of how it is styled and I am competing with mixed women and many do not find my hair attractive and more than likely will have a hard time finding a husband if at all. I literally cried and I approached her to tell her that she hurt my feelings but she feels she is telling me the truth and has nothing to apologize for.

My african people tend to be very crass and their approach, saying the meanest thing and prefacing by saying they're keeping it real. Basically my mother thinks that my hair is holding me back for being attractive and it does not help that I am short we are both the same height. She is insecure about herself and does not understand why I do not share the same values as her. I apologize this is not the place it's just rant...and ladies I have shown her examples that natural hair is being accepted and is beautiful but she purposely chooses to ignore it. I have officially given up in trying to support me on that but I am NEVER RELAXING it that is a given.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

Bad grade, good grade.... I hate when my friends mom would refer to her daughters hair as a bad grade of hair.

 

[Carmelella]

Why would you consider that pathetic and degrading? That's probably the least offensive term I've come across. We are BLACK people with curly/coily textured hair. Most people see ''our'' type of hair on black people, so rightly so they call it black people's hair. If you saw a white person (blue eyed) with natural 4a hair, you would immediately think they have some sort of black in them right? That's because that's black people's hair

Back to the topic - I find ''hard'' hair offensive. My hair is actually quite SOFT - it just sometimes looks hard!

In a way I see what she means. By generalizing an attribute you dismiss the individual and unique variations. For instance, why are these phrases accepted in America:
" Are you Scottish? "
" Are you Welsh?"
" Are you Indian?"
" Are you African?"

One group of ppl seems to be perpetually dismissed. Who cares about the differences... Black is Black right?

(btw Scotland , england and wales r the same country , but yet their individuality is still respected more)

To most Americans the term " white ppl hair " is not a generalization per se. White ppl hair connotes straight blonde, loose curly red, wavy, sometimes thick, maybe thin, " Black ppl hair " connotes simply 'unruly bush'.

 

[Babysaffy]

It's so coooool!

Funkkkky! (not as in smell)

 

[Carmelella]

"Slave hair"

My BFF calls her natural hair slave hair and refuses to wear it out.

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U should inform her that her ancestors hair looked like that way b4 slavery so maybe she should stop attaching it to such a negative establishment as if the slave master magically made kinky/ coily/ nappy hair grow out of their slave's head. Gives em too much power.

 

[Krullete]

(btw Scotland , england and wales r the same country , but yet their individuality is still respected more)

@Carmelella -

England, Scotland and Wales are not the same country: they are 3 countries - 2 Parliaments (England and Scotland) + 1 National Assembly (Wales) - united under one kingdom.

 

[HanaKuroi]

I didn't like "decent grade of hair".

 

[Lilmama1011]

Is she southern?

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Yeah she is

 

[MystiqueBabe]

My hair has been called by my mom

nappy
unattractive
unappealing
"why would you go out with your hair looking like that"

Yeah it hurt my feelings at first but I just ignore her.

 

[kblc06]

n*gg*r hair

 

[larry3344]

MystiqueBabe love my mom but there is no denying her issues when it comes to hair and perception of beauty talking about black people have been cursed...trust she will be ignored i will get my degree with my natural hair, I will get accEpeted in law school with my natural hair and will pass my bar exam with my natural hair she will have to accept it!!! That goes for everyone in this thread just because our parents are older does not mean that they are always right or wise in every subject. I am coming to understand that and realizing that my mother is just human and has her biases!

 

[Carmelella]

@Carmelella -

England, Scotland and Wales are not the same country: they are 3 countries - 2 Parliaments (England and Scotland) + 1 National Assembly (Wales) - united under one kingdom.

According to the UN, they are 1 country. Scotland's and wales quasi parliament is not fully functional and derives it's rights from the bigger Parliament. There is a few other requirements for a territory to be considered an actual country,... Here is a site that explains why Scotland and Wales are not considered countries.

http://geography.about.com/od/politicalgeography/a/scotlandnot.htm

Here is a quote from the Scottish Parliament website that admits that Scotland is merely part of a bigger country, and inaccuracies and colloquial terminology has implied, even in their constitution that it was a country, though not:

Is Scotland a country?
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is the full name of the country. Scotland is a kingdom within the United Kingdom (UK), and forms part of Britain (the largest island) and Great Britain (which includes the Scottish islands).

As the UK has no written constitution in the usual sense, constitutional terminology is fraught with difficulties of interpretation and it is common usage nowadays to describe the four constituent parts of the UK (Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland) as “countries”.

By the way, this was a total random fact that I learned the other day. I started to speak to someone from England and when I would write I would mention or bring up UK news,... Then I was like,... Is UK and Enland the same thing? Omg, he probably thinks I'm an a$$ talking about a country he's not even from!! So I had research and that's how I find out this random fact about the UK and that Scotland and Wales NOT being countries. I was shocked. :/

 

[cutenss]

barbed wire

 

[Angelinhell]

Kinky

Lol, this. When I first started taking care of my hair, my stylist asked me what I was doing to my hair because it didn't seem so *long pause* kinky anymore. But I knew she wanted to say nappy, I guess she thought kinky was somehow less offensiveerplexed.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

Kinky

I agree. Call me kinky but leave my hair alone.

 

[spellinto]

nappy
or when almost all black hair care products in drugstores read "For dry & damaged hair"
i know our hair types are naturally dry, it's the damaged part that makes me cringe
idk it just sounds bad

 

[iri9109]

nappy
or when almost all black hair care products in drugstores read "For dry & damaged hair"
i know our hair types are naturally dry, it's the damaged part that makes me cringe
idk it just sounds bad

i see products not traditionally marketed to black ppl (garnier, pantene etc.) that say for dry & damaged hair too though

i hate hate hate good hair/bad hair...and "n!gga naps"...sometimes nappy, depending on context

 

[D.Lisha]

Why would you consider that pathetic and degrading? That's probably the least offensive term I've come across. We are BLACK people with curly/coily textured hair. Most people see ''our'' type of hair on black people, so rightly so they call it black people's hair. If you saw a white person (blue eyed) with natural 4a hair, you would immediately think they have some sort of black in them right? That's because that's black people's hair

Back to the topic - I find ''hard'' hair offensive. My hair is actually quite SOFT - it just sometimes looks hard!

0live0il
Sorry, I guess I didn't go into depth as to why I felt the term was offensive, Allow me to explain:
See where I'm from when people refer to their hair as "Black People Hair"...it sort of has the same context as "nappy", "beady beads" or (my least of all favorite)-->"N*gga Naps."
For example, the way that the term is normally used around here may go alittle something like this:
"Oh....I wish my baby had 'good hair' instead of this head full of 'Black People's Hair, UGH!"
And that's where it gets offensive to me b/c it's used to categorize a hair type that may be "less desirable"or of "lower-grade" b/c it's not a 3A, 3B, or 3cish type texture and proves more of a challenge for someone to manage.
I'd rather hear the terms "Kinky", "Coily" or "Curly" used instead.

I hope this better clears up my stance....

 

[auparavant]

****** hair, weeds, kinks (for wavy texture), nappy, rats nest, mess

They aren't very nice to white blonds with kinks either. And I remember in junior high this racist pig troublemaker and the racist teacher who allowed him to terrorize not only kids of color, but her mooncrater self as well. He was talking with another kid and looked at his desk and said, "ewww, that's a n*gger hair!" He flicked it away and wiped his hand. He couldn't put two words together in a coherent sentence nor count to coins accurately.

 

[Lilmama1011]

I have noticed that older African Americans hate their hair. Instead of preaching to us the trials and tribulations blacks went through to be accepted we are the ones accepting and learning to take care of our hair for once and they knock us down. That doesn't seem backwards?

 

[Charla]

"This mess"
I really abhor that! I've heard my cousin use that phrase when referring to her newly BC'd hair. And it truly had to do with not having the curl pattern she was expecting.

I've also seen that phrase used by relaxed ladies referring to their new growth. Again,

 

[sunnieb]

So what are the acceptable terms? Especially on the days your hair is acting up?

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[Charla]

So what are the acceptable terms? Especially on the days your hair is acting up?

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How about "time to give her some tlc" or "baby needs attention"!