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Relaxed Hair Thread

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Prisangela said:
@FadingDelilah I hear you. I've been a self relaxer for over 15 years now which is why I dont.

I also forgot to add in terms of vinger as a neutralizing step. When I did go to the salon for my relaxers, my stylist at the time would just pour undiluted white vinegar on the areas that were starting to burn which would allow the parts that still needed to process time. I still do that to this day. I pour vinger on and let it sit for 15 secs before rinsing. Also try to rinse your hair as much as possible before adding shampoo, I usually wait until I see no white suds/particles; I only need to shampoo twice this way

HTH!
Click to expand...
I love that advice! My scalp burning was one of the reasons I turned to self-relaxing and no lye.
 
FadingDelilah said:
I would have been bald if I didn't read this. I'm sniffling. I feel like since its my hair I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I get scared that everything I think of won't work for this or that reason. For example, I know I need to actually sit down and DETANGLE and find a real good deep moisture-based deep conditioner before I just start assuming my hair is a broken dry mess that cannot be saved, but my heart is like "just shave it, its over. Your hair is ugly, damaged and unstylable and it always will be." I'm so used to failing and putting in work for no returns so its kind of like I can't calmly think about and solve my own hair issues anymore. My mind is in its own cycle of making assumptions and I get so flustered I just tie it up under a scarf and thinking about doing it makes me nervous. Okay, imma reread this and let it sink in. Then think of a plan. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! AGAIN!!!!

Edit: Okay so heres what I thought of so far.

-I will definitely not be using the isolpus anymore. I will use something *gasps* more expensive and better reviewed next time instead of being a cheapskate. Hopefully that helps.

- Since I base properly, I won't dilute my relaxer next time because my hair is still a bit too textured for my liking. I was only diluting it because undiluted it seemed like I wouldn't have enough relaxer for all my hair, but next time I will only be doing my roots so I should get multiple uses out of the jar, even undiluted.

- I will get a good deep conditioner and a good wide toothed comb because I don't think my brush is gentle enough for my newly processed (and therefore weakened) hair. I will use them both regularly. :look:

- Once I restore my moisture levels, I will watch for irregular breakage and see if I need to introduce protein. Then once I figure that situation out, I'll straighten my hair at some point to get a good hair cut before I start protective styling. I think I'll do braids under wigs if I can get my hair flat enough.

Wish me luck detangling this mess soon please. I think I might have made detangling easier with this last corrective, but ion know. I also don't know if my hair will just break off once the comb touches it. I've been trying to get my moisture up before I start raking it but no amount of glycerin is helping. RIP.
Click to expand...

Yay, I'm happy things are looking up!! I love the plan. And I totally understand feeling like you should know better. It's true, you know your hair better than any of us. We can provide suggestions but you're the only one who knows what your normal/healthy hair feels and acts like.

@Prisangela gave some really good advice and product recommendations! And I 2nd her advice to always DC w heat. So funny bc the only other neutralizing poo that I liked was ORS Olive oil Creamy Aloe. That's available everywhere (grocery stores, Walmart/Target, online) and not super expensive. Back when I used it the ladies said it was a neutralizer and chelator. Thanks for the clarification.

Speaking of more expensive poo, I just don't usually do expensive products. I believe technique is more important. Almost every time I try out an expensive product, I'm disappointed that it's usually not as good as my cheap stuff or self-mixed stuff.

Having said that... Unless you're in a humid climate, glycerin may not be a good moisturizer if you're not sealing it in with something heavy. Some ppl seal with grease, vaseline or a butter (shea, mango, etc). Back in the day, the long haired relaxed ladies who were "juicing" usually sprayed the s-curl and then bunned or something that, to me, helped insulate the moisture. I could see that working. I personally can't do glycerin as a moisturizer at all but it (and other humectants) are very moisturizing when mixed into a DC.

Here's what I've been using as my daily moisturizing combo since 2009: water, condish, oil. Water, Suave Tropical Coconut and EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. That's it! This combo has never failed me and does not break the bank.

I put those three items in a spray bottle to make my daily moisturizing spray. When I M&S I spray my hair until damp and then seal it in with EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. Sometimes my mix is mostly water and sometimes it's thicker, about 50/50, but always no more than 10% oil. I do like to add essential oils for scent, my go to is Sweet Orange Oil.

Sometimes to M&S, I rub in the the Suave straight and then just massage in oil to seal and then cover my head. Suave is usually about $1-3.

For a moisturizing DC, cheap old Queen Helene Cholesterol is my staple. I keep tubs of it under the counter. I add things to either make more moisturizing (salt, EVOO, Hibiscus) or strengthening (plain full fat yogurt, ayurveda powders or amino acid w baking soda) depending on what type of conditioning my hair needs. But it's my understanding that just using it alone on a regular basis is good as it is supposed to be moisturizing. It's usually about $2-3. And grocery bags make really good conditioning caps!

The other ladies can probably suggest good product lines to try if that's better for you.

I just wanna make sure that you're actually getting moisture into your hair. That way you can get to a point where you can put it away for a little bit to let it rest. Or even just do biweekly wash, DC, blowouts.
 
Last edited:
FadingDelilah said:
its possible to have permanently long and healthy relaxed hair if I process that much
Click to expand...

Absolutely very possible! I’ll be honest, your mileage may vary depending on your practices, and what you pay attention to the most concerning your haircare, but there’s a bit of a threshold concerning how much you process. For every time you process more than “normal”, i would just suggest doubling the time you cut down on doing any extra manipulation. By that I mean, aside from brief detangling, make it a goal to just leave your hair alone.


FadingDelilah said:
but now here I am, thinking of trying out the forsaken path myself.
Click to expand...

I’ll admit, I am a bone straight relaxed haired gal. Biggest thing I can say, for me personally, is that, it’s best to either be textured, or mostly bone straight. Of course it’s not gonna be perfect, but at least the majority of your hair will stand a greater chance of breaking at any demarcation lines.

Best of luck! I wish you strength in getting through these obstacles. You’re always welcome to ask me anything! These lovely ladies in here are also always so well informed and kind. But, we all knew that lol.
 
MzSwift said:
Yay, I'm happy things are looking up!! I love the plan. And I totally understand feeling like you should know better. It's true, you know your hair better than any of us. We can provide suggestions but you're the only one who knows what your normal/healthy hair feels and acts like.

@Prisangela gave some really good advice and product recommendations! And I 2nd her advice to always DC w heat. So funny bc the only other neutralizing poo that I liked was ORS Olive oil Creamy Aloe. That's available everywhere (grocery stores, Walmart/Target, online) and not super expensive. Back when I used it the ladies said it was a neutralizer and chelator. Thanks for the clarification.

Speaking of more expensive poo, I just don't usually do expensive products. I believe technique is more important. Almost every time I try out an expensive product, I'm disappointed that it's usually not as good as my cheap stuff or self-mixed stuff.

Having said that... Unless you're in a humid climate, glycerin may not be a good moisturizer if you're not sealing it in with something heavy. Some ppl seal with grease, vaseline or a butter (shea, mango, etc). Back in the day, the long haired relaxed ladies who were "juicing" usually sprayed the s-curl and then bunned or something that, to me, helped insulate the moisture. I could see that working. I personally can't do glycerin as a moisturizer at all but it (and other humectants) are very moisturizing when mixed into a DC.

Here's what I've been using as my daily moisturizing combo since 2009: water, condish, oil. Water, Suave Tropical Coconut and EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. That's it! This combo has never failed me and does not break the bank.

I put those three items in a spray bottle to make my daily moisturizing spray. When I M&S I spray my hair until damp and then seal it in with EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. Sometimes my mix is mostly water and sometimes it's thicker, about 50/50, but always no more than 10% oil. I do like to add essential oils for scent, my go to is Sweet Orange Oil.

Sometimes to M&S, I rub in the the Suave straight and then just massage in oil to seal and then cover my head. Suave is usually about $1-3.

For a moisturizing DC, cheap old Queen Helene Cholesterol is my staple. I keep tubs of it under the counter. I add things to either make more moisturizing (salt, EVOO, Hibiscus) or strengthening (plain full fat yogurt, ayurveda powders or amino acid w baking soda) depending on what type of conditioning my hair needs. But it's my understanding that just using it alone on a regular basis is good as it is supposed to be moisturizing. It's usually about $2-3. And grocery bags make really good conditioning caps!

The other ladies can probably suggest good product lines to try if that's better for you.

I just wanna make sure that you're actually getting moisture into your hair. That way you can get to a point where you can put it away for a little bit to let it rest. Or even just do biweekly wash, DC, blowouts.
Click to expand...

I love this because I'm trying to save up for a house and I try my best to save. I've only had bad experiences with cheap products (I think because I only ever buy cheap - lol) so I thought I needed to spend more to get more but I will def be getting that queen Helene and the ors neutralizer since I can find them on the ground. Plus,there was a woman who used the queen helene all the time on her natural hair and she's hip length. Sooooo many good recommendations in this post alone. I love your advice on how to m&s and change up your conditioner to a protein treatment. Genius way to avoid buying more products and get things done right when you need it. I never heard of using yogurt :eek: my cheap aspirations are blooming big time. Then I can eat the rest :look::lachen:I have a lot to work with now when I head to the store. Thanks sis :D
 
Yay, sista Planet @PlanetCybertron came out of lurkdom! Heeeyyy!
NuL6Ob_1W8-aMR9r21b8lFfch1mpVuhYSGzwHqd2jIH59wQlNQEihXrHnXJl-_QDp8i3mVLl2kF1gAIT2IQgZsBzR28N8AWGQ7rjmVvD3rCBUMCaI_kkbk-V2AEq7bdrhwmZG_i4
I hope school is going well, I know how time and energy consuming that can be.

FadingDelilah said:
I love this because I'm trying to save up for a house and I try my best to save. I've only had bad experiences with cheap products (I think because I only ever buy cheap - lol) so I thought I needed to spend more to get more but I will def be getting that queen Helene and the ors neutralizer since I can find them on the ground. Plus,there was a woman who used the queen helene all the time on her natural hair and she's hip length. Sooooo many good recommendations in this post alone. I love your advice on how to m&s and change up your conditioner to a protein treatment. Genius way to avoid buying more products and get things done right when you need it. I never heard of using yogurt :eek: my cheap aspirations are blooming big time. Then I can eat the rest :look::lachen:I have a lot to work with now when I head to the store. Thanks sis :D
Click to expand...

Girl yes, yogurt is the protein business! Just make sure it's full fat, lowfat doesn't have the same effect.

GL to you getting your house! My best friend just bought her first house last month! You will do it too!! :)
 
MzSwift said:
Yay, sista Planet @PlanetCybertron came out of lurkdom! Heeeyyy!
NuL6Ob_1W8-aMR9r21b8lFfch1mpVuhYSGzwHqd2jIH59wQlNQEihXrHnXJl-_QDp8i3mVLl2kF1gAIT2IQgZsBzR28N8AWGQ7rjmVvD3rCBUMCaI_kkbk-V2AEq7bdrhwmZG_i4
I hope school is going well, I know how time and energy consuming that can be.



Girl yes, yogurt is the protein business! Just make sure it's full fat, lowfat doesn't have the same effect.

GL to you getting your house! My best friend just bought her first house last month! You will do it too!! :)
Click to expand...

Okay, I will. And thanks!!!
 
Ladies, where and how do you wash your relaxer out? I currently wash it out bending over my bathtub but I worry about the long term effects of the relaxer water getting into my eyes. I'm considering washing it out in the shower but I worry about the relaxer water getting all over my body.
 
abioni said:
Ladies, where and how do you wash your relaxer out? I currently wash it out bending over my bathtub but I worry about the long term effects of the relaxer water getting into my eyes. I'm considering washing it out in the shower but I worry about the relaxer water getting all over my body.
Click to expand...

Kitchen sink. I tilt my head downward by tucking my chin closer to my neck so that the water runs down that way and not into to my eyes. Hope that makes sense.

I have been thinking about using the tub though. I think the extra force of the water will help rinse out the relaxer better.
 
MzSwift said:
Yay, I'm happy things are looking up!! I love the plan. And I totally understand feeling like you should know better. It's true, you know your hair better than any of us. We can provide suggestions but you're the only one who knows what your normal/healthy hair feels and acts like.

@Prisangela gave some really good advice and product recommendations! And I 2nd her advice to always DC w heat. So funny bc the only other neutralizing poo that I liked was ORS Olive oil Creamy Aloe. That's available everywhere (grocery stores, Walmart/Target, online) and not super expensive. Back when I used it the ladies said it was a neutralizer and chelator. Thanks for the clarification.

Speaking of more expensive poo, I just don't usually do expensive products. I believe technique is more important. Almost every time I try out an expensive product, I'm disappointed that it's usually not as good as my cheap stuff or self-mixed stuff.

Having said that... Unless you're in a humid climate, glycerin may not be a good moisturizer if you're not sealing it in with something heavy. Some ppl seal with grease, vaseline or a butter (shea, mango, etc). Back in the day, the long haired relaxed ladies who were "juicing" usually sprayed the s-curl and then bunned or something that, to me, helped insulate the moisture. I could see that working. I personally can't do glycerin as a moisturizer at all but it (and other humectants) are very moisturizing when mixed into a DC.

Here's what I've been using as my daily moisturizing combo since 2009: water, condish, oil. Water, Suave Tropical Coconut and EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. That's it! This combo has never failed me and does not break the bank.

I put those three items in a spray bottle to make my daily moisturizing spray. When I M&S I spray my hair until damp and then seal it in with EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. Sometimes my mix is mostly water and sometimes it's thicker, about 50/50, but always no more than 10% oil. I do like to add essential oils for scent, my go to is Sweet Orange Oil.

Sometimes to M&S, I rub in the the Suave straight and then just massage in oil to seal and then cover my head. Suave is usually about $1-3.

For a moisturizing DC, cheap old Queen Helene Cholesterol is my staple. I keep tubs of it under the counter. I add things to either make more moisturizing (salt, EVOO, Hibiscus) or strengthening (plain full fat yogurt, ayurveda powders or amino acid w baking soda) depending on what type of conditioning my hair needs. But it's my understanding that just using it alone on a regular basis is good as it is supposed to be moisturizing. It's usually about $2-3. And grocery bags make really good conditioning caps!

The other ladies can probably suggest good product lines to try if that's better for you.

I just wanna make sure that you're actually getting moisture into your hair. That way you can get to a point where you can put it away for a little bit to let it rest. Or even just do biweekly wash, DC, blowouts.
Click to expand...
I second the cholesterol treatments, I used to use Le Klair but can't find them anywhere. I need to get back to that and Rollersetting
 
MzSwift said:
Kitchen sink. I tilt my head downward by tucking my chin closer to my neck so that the water runs down that way and not into to my eyes. Hope that makes sense.

I have been thinking about using the tub though. I think the extra force of the water will help rinse out the relaxer better.
Click to expand...
@abioni my kitchen faucet has a pullout spray function best thing ever, I'm getting too old to be bent over at the tub
 
abioni said:
Ladies, where and how do you wash your relaxer out? I currently wash it out bending over my bathtub but I worry about the long term effects of the relaxer water getting into my eyes. I'm considering washing it out in the shower but I worry about the relaxer water getting all over my body.
Click to expand...

your concerns for your eyes and body are valid, but there’s a caveat. As soon as the active components in a relaxer neutralize (from you washing it out, and when water first comes into contact with it, you’re left with water and an alkaline salt.

there’s a lot of studies suggesting relaxers cause a lot of issues with female reproductive system, however these studies are often lacking in sound evidence, and proper correlation. Not to mention almost all of these studies fail to take into account diet, health, underlying health issues due to genetics, environment, etc.

Relaxers, while caustic in nature, are more likely to effect things such as the lymphatic system, Or the integumentary system. Point being, contact dermatitis, and eye irritation should be as far as you go concerning your concern about washing the relaxer out of your hair. Your body is amazing at regulating things it comes into contact with. Something like the by products of a relaxer after washing it are well within normal bounds of what it can handle. If that eases your mind at all.

Aside from that whole spiel, I wash my relaxer out in the shower. And since I have eczema, I also wash my body with the neutralizing shampoo just to get the remaining deposits from the relaxer off of my body so my skin isn’t dry as heck.
 
Hi! I havent been around in a while, so Hey!!

I haven't had a relaxer since July of last year. I'm not transitioning on purpose, lol. My last few relaxers have been about 6 months post each , just because I get so disappointed in these hair dressers.

I decided a couple of years ago not to relax my own hair anymore, because I thought I was jacking it up, lol. But my last few experiences have been so subpar, I figured, I will start doing it again myself, and not pay between $120 and $200 to get my hair relaxed and styled, lol. The last stylist used a motions on my head, I mean comeon, lol!!

When I get this far post, my hair becomes unruly and starts looking like a jellyfish, lol. I get frustrated and almost take some scissors to my head.

I am having bad issues, my hair is soooooooooo dry. It seems like it doesn't matter what I do. My hair is bone dry by time I am out of the shower. All the conditioners I use feel like there is just a layer of product left on my hair. Its driving me crazy.

I'm in such a dilemma , ahah. I want to chop it off
 
Royalq said:
What causes middle breakage that creates a sort of W shape instead of soft U shape? I used to thing it was splitting my hair down the middle too often but my hair has been in sew ins and braids since June. How do I fix that?
Click to expand...

I find personally that it’s caused by the positioning.

If you follow your hair up to the spot where it’s growing out of your scalp, it makes sense. That are generally will hold the bulk of any bun style, and generally speaking if you sleep on your back, that part of your head is always undergoing some sort of exposure to pressure and friction.

you also can’t really see that area well either. And brushing and combing that section, is different that the front and sides of your hair. Concerning the angle at which you have to get at that area.

I would also say depending on your hair type, that area can be more susceptible to breakage.
 
KhandiB said:
I definitely have porosity issues. My hair looks spongy, for lack of a better descriptive term.

I cant do a lot of styling without heat. Im irritated because Ive been on this board FOREVER, lol. And Still dont have a regular routine or regular products, lol
Click to expand...

Following up on what @ItsMeLilLucky said, I was wondering if maybe you also used a lot of cones, the non-water soluble ones? It sounds to me like there may be buildup blocking any moisture from getting into your strands. And if that's the case, then any protein you try to use will also be blocked. When my hair is just not responding to things, that's my sign that I need to clarify.

Even if you use sulfate poo often, sometimes we just have to clarify to wash the slate clean and then put nutrients back into it. So maybe getting your hair to a "base level" by clarifying then doing a mild protein tx followed by a moisturizing DC. Let it air dry without any product and then assess your hair. It'll be easier to tell if it's brittle from protein overload or dryness.

IA w you that you could save a lot of time, money and disappointment by doing your own relaxers SPECIFICALLY because the salon visits have not been up to par.
 
Royalq said:
What causes middle breakage that creates a sort of W shape instead of soft U shape? I used to thing it was splitting my hair down the middle too often but my hair has been in sew ins and braids since June. How do I fix that?
Click to expand...

I love getting the scientific perspective from @PlanetCybertron ! I always feel like I'm learning so much. :bookworm: :dork:

I was wondering if it was also the way the hair grows. Everytime I cut off my "v", it grows right back. I've also seen ladies with the "w" and assumed that their hair just grows that way too. Slower on some parts of the head, even a different texture. My left side grows in thicker than my right side. But after reading Sista Planet's post, it could be that I slept on that side.
 
KhandiB said:
I definitely have porosity issues. My hair looks spongy, for lack of a better descriptive term.

I cant do a lot of styling without heat. Im irritated because Ive been on this board FOREVER, lol. And Still dont have a regular routine or regular products, lol
Click to expand...
spongy sounds like mushy, @ItsMeLilLucky is right sounds like you need a protein treatment. Have you ever checked your porosity? your hair sounds a bit like mine, Im low-po and my hair LOVES heat.
Amazon product ASIN B00R3EX9XQI still use Roux porosity control to correct my porosity issues and
Amazon product ASIN B000BU7G1Aaphogee two minute keratin every- every other wash day (mostly every time) prior to DC'ing, unless I'm due for a stronger protein treatment (Aphogee two-step or Mizani Kerafuse treatment)
Amazon product ASIN B00IDA3V96Amazon product ASIN B000NQ0EHU
And I also find if I do not DC with heat its like I didnt do anything at all
 
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