White people and long hair. What do u think?

[brickhouse]

One of my white co-workers said to me yesterday that she wanted to get her hair cut in a style, so I ask her how long it was because it was pinned up on top of her hair. She says it pretty long and took it down. I almost fell out when her hair was barely touching her shoulders. It was right past neck length. I was shocked because I am at brastrap. Do you think they have a different perception of what long hair is compared to us? I went to a white dermatologist for my scalp problem a month ago and when he pulled out a strand he says you sure have some long hair. I should have asked him if he has never seen long hair on a black woman before. I won't be going back to him. I thought that was an ignorant comment. I betcha he would not have said that to a white woman.

 

[DivaRox]

I do think they have a different perception but I have found just the opposite, i.e. what I was calling long, they referred to as short or medium.

IDK about the derm-Sans tone and facial expression, his comment sounded harmless to me. You do have long hair.

 

[spiceykitten]

One of my white co-workers said to me yesterday that she wanted to get her hair cut in a style, so I ask her how long it was because it was pinned up on top of her hair. She says it pretty long and took it down. I almost fell out when her hair was barely touching her shoulders. It was right past neck length. I was shocked because I am at brastrap. Do you think they have a different perception of what long hair is compared to us? I went to a white dermatologist for my scalp problem a month ago and when he pulled out a strand he says you sure have some long hair. I should have asked him if he has never seen long hair on a black woman before. I won't be going back to him. I thought that was an ignorant comment. I betcha he would not have said that to a white woman.

Well, at bra strap your hair is long. I don't understand your comment.

Now, for the ladies whose hair is touching their shoulders, I find your comment insulting. There are some women on here that have worked hard to get their hair to their shoulders and consider it long for them. I think anything past shoulders is not considered short.

I really find some of you ladies comments a bust to other people egos that are really trying on here. I have long hair. In fact, longer than you but I still watch what I say because some ladies are really trying.

 

[brickhouse]

Well, at bra strap your hair is long. I don't understand your comment.

Now, for the ladies whose hair is touching their shoulders, I find your comment insulting. There are some women on here that have worked hard to get their hair to their shoulders and consider it long for them. I think anything past shoulders is not considered short.

I really find some of you ladies comments a bust to other people egos that are really trying on here. I have long hair. In fact, longer than you but I still watch what I say because some ladies are really trying.

I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I didn't say passed shoulders was short. I said my co-worker said she had pretty long hair so I was expecting waist length.

I just don't feel like the derm would have made that comment to a white woman.

 

[brickhouse]

I do think they have a different perception but I have found just the opposite, i.e. what I was calling long, they referred to as short or medium.

IDK about the derm-Sans tone and facial expression, his comment sounded harmless to me. You do have long hair.

So true. I was just a little sensitve when he made that comment because he was acting like I was crazy when I came to him with my scalp problems and he kind of brush me off and even said it was all in my head.

 

[spiceykitten]

So true. I was just a little sensitve when he made that comment because he was acting like I was crazy when I came to him with my scalp problems and he kind of brush me off and even said it was all in my head.

I just don't feel like the derm would have made that comment to a white woman.

I said my co-worker said she had pretty long hair so I was expecting waist length.

Normally, I would just let your comment brush off my shoulders, but I am really tired of seeing comments that may destroy people's egos that are trying on this board.

Your statements contradict each other. You admit to feeling a bit sensitive to his comment but on the other hand you say he would not have made that comment to a white woman.

I really do not know what to say to you but how do you know what is going on his mind. To him bra strap may be long. I do feel he may have made that comment to a white woman. Honestly, some of you crack me up about what you think white people would and would not think of you. You spend more time worrying what white people would think of you instead of what you think of yourselves.

I have lived around white people and Asians for a lot of my life and I will tell you what is long or not long on any woman is not topic of conversation.

Let, us leave it at that your hair is long and the good doctor meant no harm. Okay.

 

[brickhouse]

The purpose of this thread was to find out why what other races think is long we think is short. The thread was not to offend and I think my words are being twisted. With that said if anyone is offended I want to apologize because this thread was not meant to offend anyone I don't see how it could have been taken that way.

 

[brickhouse]

I just don't feel like the derm would have made that comment to a white woman.

I said my co-worker said she had pretty long hair so I was expecting waist length.

Normally, I would just let your comment brush off my shoulders, but I am really tired of seeing comments that may destroy people's egos that are trying on this board.

Your statements contradict each other. You admit to feeling a bit sensitive to his comment but on the other hand you say he would not have made that comment to a white woman.

I really do not know what to say to you but how do you know what is going on his mind. To him bra strap may be long. I do feel he may have made that comment to a white woman. Honestly, some of you crack me up about what you think white people would and would not think of you. You spend more time worrying what white people would think of you instead of what you think of yourselves.

I have lived around white people and Asians for a lot of my life and I will tell you what is long or not long on any woman is not topic of conversation.

Let, us leave it at that your hair is long and the good doctor meant no harm. Okay.

Since you do not know me or now how I feel. The case is closed.

 

[Energee]

I think the derm was just saying that you have long hair. Do you realize that most people are not BSL length?...Even white women.....Take a good look around at women..all women..everyday. I have found that even while I am ONLY dancing with APL hair that I have longer hair than most women I encounter daily both black and white. I think the average length for hair on women is probably right at or a little above shoulder length honestly. I was at the salon spa today getting a pedi...mani..etc and There were about 8 other ladies present only one other black woman. All of those women had neck length hair or shorter. The black woman had shoulder length hair. The white women all had nice styles...etc..but for the most part their hair looked unhealthy---no sheen, stringy, thin.

Also, do not think that all white women can grow hair at the drop of a dime. They have the same problems anyone else does. They color, perm, straighten (flat iron or blowouts) on a regular basis usually and their hair suffers too--thins out and breaks off. Sometimes their hair just grows slowly too. Don't think that when they have shorter hair it's always by choice.

The only women I've noticed that seem to have longer hair on average are Indian women (Asian) and middle eastern women. Most white women with 'longer' hair are somewhere between SL and APL.

So I said all of that to say..that your derm...even with all the hair he has likely seen is still probably surprised when he see's very long hair on anyone (BSL is long) and let's not forget he is a man so they don't always think things out before they say them...lol. He probably has a thing for long hair...lol. I'm sure he meant nothing by what he said at all.

**ETA I just wanted to add that I found absolutely nothing offensive about your questions or comments at all in this thread.

 

[brickhouse]

I think the derm was just saying that you have long hair. Do you realize that most people are not BSL length?...Even white women.....Take a good look around at women..all women..everyday. I have found that even while I am ONLY dancing with APL hair that I have longer hair than most women I encounter daily both black and white. I think the average length for hair on women is probably right at or a little above shoulder length honestly. I was at the salon spa today getting a pedi...mani..etc and There were about 8 other ladies present only one other black woman. All of those women had neck length hair or shorter. The black woman had shoulder length hair. The white women all had nice styles...etc..but for the most part their hair looked unhealthy---no sheen, stringy, thin.

Also, do not think that all white women can grow hair at the drop of a dime. They have the same problems anyone else does. They color, perm, straighten (flat iron or blowouts) on a regular basis usually and their hair suffers too--thins out and breaks off. Sometimes their hair just grows slowly too. Don't think that when they have shorter hair it's always by choice.

The only women I've noticed that seem to have longer hair on average are Indian women (Asian) and middle eastern women. Most white women with 'longer' hair are somewhere between SL and APL.

So I said all of that to say..that your derm...even with all the hair he has likely seen is still probably surprised when he see's very long hair on anyone (BSL is long) and let's not forget he is a man so they don't always think things out before they say them...lol. He probably has a thing for long hair...lol. I'm sure he meant nothing by what he said at all.

Thanks so much. You are so right. That helps me understand his comment.

 

[sikora]

The only women I've noticed that seem to have longer hair on average are Indian women (Asian) and middle eastern women. Most white women with 'longer' hair are somewhere between SL and APL.

On a daily basis (here in Queens) I see at least 3 Indian girls/ ladies with thick hip length hair.

 

[Energee]

On a daily basis (here in Queens) I see at least 3 Indian girls/ ladies with thick hip length hair.

Yep, I have had a few Indian women friends and business associates and our kids pediatricians have always been female and Indian (our preference..lol). They seem to have longer hair on average than other women in general IMO. That's just been my observation. Also, not only is it long..it's very healthy looking too. I'm sure they don't do all the harmful things to their hair that most other women do. They are probably more attentive to their hair from an early age because hair is so important in their culture.

 

[brickhouse]

I wanted to say thanks to all that sent me a pm. I really appreciate it.

 

[DivaRox]

So true. I was just a little sensitve when he made that comment because he was acting like I was crazy when I came to him with my scalp problems and he kind of brush me off and even said it was all in my head.

Now that is just not right. Because he can't pinpoint the correct problem, suddenly you're dreaming up hair problems??!! Now that comment and attitude is definitely a reason to seek a more competent dr.

 

[brickhouse]

Now that is just not right. Because he can't pinpoint the correct problem, suddenly you're dreaming up hair problems??!! Now that comment and attitude is definitely a reason to seek a more competent dr.

I was upset at the time about my scalp condition. I went a little medstop in my time a couple of weeks before that and they diagnosed me with impetigo but I was told to follow up with a derm and I do suffer from seborrheic dermatitis. Of course the antibotics cleared that up and all he saw was just a little seborrheic derm and he gave me a prescription for that but no refills. I know from previous doctors that it can be controlled but not cure so I don't know why he did not give any refills. I had a sore spot for weeks where he pulled out 2 strands.

 

[sweetcashew]

On a daily basis (here in Queens) I see at least 3 Indian girls/ ladies with thick hip length hair.

Girl I live in Queens...right in the middle of the Indians. I guess that's why I never really consider my hair to be really long. I just blend right in with them.

Op... I guess it's relative cause I've never heard anyone from any other race consider shoulder length to be 'pretty long'. But that's just the people who I run into.

 

[SmartyPants]

I was upset at the time about my scalp condition. I went a little medstop in my time a couple of weeks before that and they diagnosed me with impetigo but I was told to follow up with a derm and I do suffer from seborrheic dermatitis. Of course the antibotics cleared that up and all he saw was just a little seborrheic derm and he gave me a prescription for that but no refills. I know from previous doctors that it can be controlled but not cure so I don't know why he did not give any refills. I had a sore spot for weeks where he pulled out 2 strands.

Wait.... he pulled out two strands of your hair and live to tell the tale? You're a better woman than me...

 

[SmartyPants]

OT...

Sweetcashew:

I just looked at your fotki...


I'm jealous... very very very jealous....

 

[caribgirl]

Oh sweetie,
With that experience with your derm, I can totally understand your sensitivity.

OT:
SweetCashew, I'm over your fotki!! What was YOUR starting point???

 

[brickhouse]

Wait.... he pulled out two strands of your hair and live to tell the tale? You're a better woman than me...

It really hurt. I probably would not have had a problem but since I am a diabetic and my blood sugars have been running crazy it took a long time for my scalp to heal. I had to wait to get my touchup. The next time they ask for a strand you best believe they will not be getting any.

 

[brickhouse]

Girl I live in Queens...right in the middle of the Indians. I guess that's why I never really consider my hair to be really long. I just blend right in with them.

Op... I guess it's relative cause I've never heard anyone from any other race consider shoulder length to be 'pretty long'. But that's just the people who I run into.

Thanks for going back to op.

OT. I agree with everyone else. Your hair is gorgeous.

 

[HoneyDew]

Maybe she thought it was long compared to the cut she wanted or how long she normally keeps it.

I used to work with a white lady that would say her hair was getting too long and her hair was technically short. But, as it grew out, it was too long for her. She hated anytime her hair touched her face of neck. When it did get to that point, she would actually say "I can't wait for a cut, my hair has gotten to long".

Also, I don't see why you would be offended by the doctor's comment. BSL is long hair in most people's eyes. It does not seem like the doctor was being rude or condescending.

I think sometimes being a member of a hair board makes us take hair and hair growth too seriously. What is long to one person may not be long to another.

 

[HoneyDew]

Now that is just not right. Because he can't pinpoint the correct problem, suddenly you're dreaming up hair problems??!! Now that comment and attitude is definitely a reason to seek a more competent dr.

I agree!! That is a reason not to go back to him!!!!!

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Well, at bra strap your hair is long. I don't understand your comment.

Now, for the ladies whose hair is touching their shoulders, I find your comment insulting. There are some women on here that have worked hard to get their hair to their shoulders and consider it long for them. I think anything past shoulders is not considered short.

I really find some of you ladies comments a bust to other people egos that are really trying on here. I have long hair. In fact, longer than you but I still watch what I say because some ladies are really trying.

I couldn't agree more

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Maybe she thought it was long compared to the cut she wanted or how long she normally keeps it.

I used to work with a white lady that would say her hair was getting too long and her hair was technically short. But, as it grew out, it was too long for her. She hated anytime her hair touched her face of neck. When it did get to that point, she would actually say "I can't wait for a cut, my hair has gotten to long".

Also, I don't see why you would be offended by the doctor's comment. BSL is long hair in most people's eyes. It does not seem like the doctor was being rude or condescending.

I think sometimes being a member of a hair board makes us take hair and hair growth too seriously. What is long to one person may not be long to another.

I completely agree with this too.

Although there are some white women that have short hair, most of them that have short do have it by choice. And HoneyDew is right, for a lot of them, getting their hair to SL is pretty long because they like and want shorter hair.

But here is the difference, to them, it's just hair, because usually they do have longer hair. Cutting hair to them is no problem, it's just hair and they cut theirs all the time because they know it will grow back. But for us, for some of us, getting to SL, APL, WL or for some even CL is really something, so cutting our hair, especially since we have been exposed to great techniques on this board, is seen as a no-no, in a way.

And before somebody gets "offended", you know it's true because if it wasn't, then this board wouldn't had been created.

 

[DivaRox]

I was upset at the time about my scalp condition. I went a little medstop in my time a couple of weeks before that and they diagnosed me with impetigo but I was told to follow up with a derm and I do suffer from seborrheic dermatitis. Of course the antibotics cleared that up and all he saw was just a little seborrheic derm and he gave me a prescription for that but no refills. I know from previous doctors that it can be controlled but not cure so I don't know why he did not give any refills. I had a sore spot for weeks where he pulled out 2 strands.

Well, he certainly has an interesting approach. I've been to two different derms to confirm that I did indeed have seb.derm. and neither one took hair samples. I didn't care for the meds. I started self treating and taking the biotin that the first dr. recommended and it's been somewhat okay-my scalp problem(itchy, flaky and dry scalp) has been handled but my face still gives me problems.

Sorry, I guess I did go all OT with my comments That was just the direction my thoughts went.

 

[cococutie007]

The purpose of this thread was to find out why what other races think is long we think is short. The thread was not to offend and I think my words are being twisted. With that said if anyone is offended I want to apologize because this thread was not meant to offend anyone I don't see how it could have been taken that way.

There were and totally misconstrued if you ask me. I got ya and others did too but I know you know that already. Dont' stress it. I've had white (and black of course) people be shocked that my hair is long (bra strap and b/4 that too) and had a girl "ask if it was my hair" and I said yes then she said " cause the other ones in our class don't have hair that long" referring to the other black women in her class. She kept going with crazy comments about "the other ones". Now I know she wasn't trying to be "a certain way" but her comment to the wrong person would have caused problems. I considered the source, she was a dingbat and I didn't get upset but other people at the table looked at her like she was crazy-black and white. The tone and way she said it made the comment "weird" at best. So Brick I get where you're coming from with the doc and honestly I don't think he would have said that to a white woman. Society is used to seeing white people with long (PAST SHOULDERS) hair so they don't usually make off remarks like that to them but for us, it's shocking to them.

 

[PapillionRouge]

I dont think there's anything wrong with what the derm said... in my opinion u over reacted.

Also, usually white ppl's perception of "long" hair is opposite of blacks.
Meaning,. shoulder length hair is usually considered LONG in out community, whereas some white ppl consider it short, or just average....

 

[curlcomplexity]

Honestly, I think that this thread should be closed for further responses. The original poster did not get her point across the way that she wanted to(by the way, I understood where you were coming from). Yes, she did offend some people, but she has apologized...more than once even though she really didn't have to. We are all allowed to have our own opinions on what's considered long or short, that's fine. If you were at all offended by the post, just PM the poster. Please do not but her on blast on the thread. I find the responses to the thread disturbing...that's all i'm going to say about it

 

[HoneyDew]

I personally did not find her comments offensive at all. I have shoulder length hair and I was not offended at all. But, at the same time, I am used to the mindset that many people on this board possess compared to "everyone else" in the world. Sometimes, it is better - sometimes it is not. So I just hear other's opinions and take them with a grain of salt. But if you post on a forum, you are most likely going to get a response and it may not be always what you like.

My hair means a lot to me and I STILL think some on the board take hair and hair length a little too seriously. I know this may be like cursing on this board - but I do still feel like "it's just hair". Maybe because I don't think it is some incredible feat for us or anyone else to have long hair, styles that we like, hair that blows in the wind, shiny hair, etc, etc etc.

It just is not that serious. But, still I was not offended by BH's post. It is how she felt and she shared with us, something I appreciate about our forum. But, by posting here we all still open ourselves up to hear other's viewpoints, as well. I don't think there are any hard feelings around this post, though. Right ladies?