Naturals- What would you do: Relax or Chop it off?

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

If you were having issues with your hair, but desiring it to be a certain length, but to maintain that length, you think about relaxing, but then you think about the drama that may arise from relaxing, and then you decide that maybe you should sacrifice your length to stay natural, but then you think about coming to this crossroads in the future about your hair and always resulting to cutting it off and never reaching it's desired potential...


Breathe....

What would you do?

 

[audacity.]

This post isn't about you, is it Bubblin????

 

[Transformer]

Thought about relaxing many times in 20 years. I always breathe, rub my hands in my hair and feel the natural softness, breathe, and then walk out the store.

How important is length to you? At your age, you can always start over if the relaxer doesn't work.

How important is being natural to you? At your age, you going to have plenty of years to be natural.

At your age, nothing is forever!

 

[AsTheCurlzTurns]

I would HOPE it's not your hair you're talking about chopping off? For that's some beautiful hair though. But I have heard about some of the issues you've pointed out, but I for one wouldn't know what I would do until that point in time was to actually happen to me. But for what it's worth, I'd suggest you do what's best for you, and hope it works out for the best.

 

[JustKiya]

Bubblin, we live in the same city, and if you chop off allllllaaaaa that lovely hair - I will FIND you girl!

But, at the same time, I've seen this potential dance in my future, too.

Personally - I would texlax with the 'twisted' method (Lovelymsoily? I knew I messed up her name), and roll on - esp. if it was the ends giving me the most issues.

I most CERTAINLY would not chop, and I doubt that I would want to go even close to bone straight.

What do you love about being natural? See if there is a way to keep that going.....

 

[Cheleigh]

It would depend on what's more important to me--length or being natural.

For me, being natural is more important, so I would cut before I relaxed. However, first I'd probably start pressing/flatironing it straight more often.

If length was more important to me, then I'd relax (for me, having a relaxer wasn't that big of a headache).

 

[nappity]

I was a scissor happy fool. But it helped me to keep my Saturdays all to myself. ( spending all day at the hairdressers)

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Denver and Azthecurlsturn - Yup, all about me.

Eb- Girl, I am almost 30!!At first I was really trying to not be concerned about my hair, but when this stuff dries ohwell:. It seems like I have to do something to it every 2 days! I think about when my hair was shorter in it's natural state and all of the fun things I did to it, but I have come a long way to cut it back off shoulder length.

Nappy- I've considered Lovely's technique.

It shouldn't be this difficult! The mantra I've tried to take on is 'it's just hair' but dangit, it ISN'T just hair.

 

[silvergirl]

id try to flatiron my hair for a week or so.

knowing me id end up washing it out by the end of the first night anyway, It always happens. thats the only real reason i know id regret ever getting a relaxer ever again.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

It would depend on what's more important to me--length or being natural.

For me, being natural is more important, so I would cut before I relaxed. However, first I'd probably start pressing/flatironing it straight more often.

If length was more important to me, then I'd relax (for me, having a relaxer wasn't that big of a headache).

Relaxing wasn't that big of a headache to me,either.

You know the term 'dollop?' Please, not on this natural head. Now on relaxed hair a dollop was just fine.

Length is more important to me, but so is my time, money, and mental clarityerplexed

 

[Transformer]

I think you should rollerset for a couple of weeks! That will "cure" you!

At 50, pretty much everybody is a "young'um." Just think, I was 30 when I decided to never relax again.

 

[Bublin]

I have this question all the time.

When i was relaxed i just didn't worry about my hair all the time - of course all i did was pull it into a ponytail - but that seems like heaven right now.

My hair is consuming me. I spend £60 at the salon only to walk away hating it. I do it myself and i say it looks OK but it takes 7 hours to twist up. When i comb it, it breaks. Never since being natural have i felt so unglamorous so i constantly think about relaxing it and all the styles i could do.

Yes, you have lovely hair. My Mum also has long natural hair and she is always threatening to relax. I think those 'evils thoughts' are something us naturals have to put up!

 

[Shimmie]

If you were having issues with your hair, but desiring it to be a certain length, but to maintain that length, you think about relaxing, but then you think about the drama that may arise from relaxing, and then you decide that maybe you should sacrifice your length to stay natural, but then you think about coming to this crossroads in the future about your hair and always resulting to cutting it off and never reaching it's desired potential...


Breathe....

What would you do?

The only thing that made my hair grow was by cutting it off and allowing it to start all over again and giving it special care.

It hurt at first, but I had no other choice because my hair was so damaged from trying to keep it 'straight' with blow drying; hot combs, and using Vigorol, which in turn 'ate' my hair.

*sigh* So......I cut it all off. I wore braids for a while, but it only made things worse by thinning my hair out even more. I couldn't afford going to a stylist to 'fix' it...

And now it's the best thing I could have every done. "Cutting' was dreaded but it was the best thing I've ever done for my hair.

Hugs angel...

 

[audacity.]

Denver and Azthecurlsturn - Yup, all about me.

Eb- Girl, I am almost 30!!At first I was really trying to not be concerned about my hair, but when this stuff dries ohwell:. It seems like I have to do something to it every 2 days! I think about when my hair was shorter in it's natural state and all of the fun things I did to it, but I have come a long way to cut it back off shoulder length.

Nappy- I've considered Lovely's technique.

It shouldn't be this difficult! The mantra I've tried to take on is 'it's just hair' but dangit, it ISN'T just hair.

In that case, YOUBETTANOTCUTDATHURR!!!!

Consider texing the lovelymsoily (sp) way instead.

Please keep us posted on what you decide to do

 

[SparklingFlame]

I was just here last week girl.

My husband wanted long hair but I wanted it natural. It was too big once it got long as a natural so I decided he could have length and I would forego being natural. Now I loved being natural but I am not opposed to be relaxed either. I am happy with my decision and um....are you tryna tell us something here?

 

[HighlyFavored1]

If you were having issues with your hair, but desiring it to be a certain length, but to maintain that length, you think about relaxing, but then you think about the drama that may arise from relaxing, and then you decide that maybe you should sacrifice your length to stay natural, but then you think about coming to this crossroads in the future about your hair and always resulting to cutting it off and never reaching it's desired potential...


Breathe....

What would you do?

This is very interesting to read. Since I am not natural, I am unsure what the dilemma has become. Is it just becoming increasingly difficult to maintain your hair since it has gotten so long? Is it a specific issue (such as detangling)? Or are you just becoming overwhelmed with so much hair?

I am sure there has to be a solution that will give you the best of both options (long and natural) without having to cut or relax!

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

The only thing that made my hair grow was by cutting it off and allowing it to start all over again and giving it special care.

It hurt at first, but I had no other choice because my hair was so damaged from trying to keep it 'straight' with blow drying; hot combs, and using Vigorol, which in turn 'ate' my hair.

*sigh* So......I cut it all off. I wore braids for a while, but it only made things worse by thinning my hair out even more. I couldn't afford going to a stylist to 'fix' it...

And now it's the best thing I could have every done. "Cutting' was dreaded but it was the best thing I've ever done for my hair.

Hugs angel...

Right back atcha!

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

This is very interesting to read. Since I am not natural, I am unsure what the dilemma has become. Is it just becoming increasingly difficult to maintain your hair since it has gotten so long? Is it a specific issue (such as detangling)? Or are you just becoming overwhelmed with so much hair?

I am sure there has to be a solution that will give you the best of both options (long and natural) without having to cut or relax!

My hair is not difficult to manage, it's just that it hangs and hardly has no definition. It is frizzier than it's really ever been and when it dries, it clumps together, forcing me to wet it.

 

[BrockStar]

EEEeeek!!! This is about you!??! I agree with the questions is it more important to you to have length or be natural. For me, I even considered before I was natural that I may texlax one day...now I don't know about that but all of that to say that natural or not I just wanted curly hair. So decisons decisons decisons...I'm sure whatever you do it will be FAB-U-LOUS!!!

 

[Sugarhoney]

I'm going through the same thing, Bubbling. I just keep staring at my tub of SE Mid lye. When I flat iron my, it is silky and BSL--but frizzes at the slightest humidity. Then when it is curly, it shrinks all the way up to my shoulders and it is frizzy and hangs funny. I love my natural hair, but it has turned me into a PJ and makes me almost late to work every morning. I want long curly hair, but it seems like my tight 3c riglets will never look long. It has looked SL for the last two years! I really feel like texlaxing...

 

[laurend]

I don't think your relaxed hair will compare to the beauty of you natural hair IMO. Your hair we don't see everyday, relax it and you will be just like every relaxed head you see on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I don't hate relaxers but your type of hair is special(body, shine and thickness).

 

[jaiku]

I so feel you on this. I have been struggling with the same thing. My hair is not nearly as long as yours but APL is as far as I can maintain natural. I think I will texlax in April. I love the way Natural lady's texlax came out. I think it will alow me to have the best of both worlds.

 

[envybeauty]

I am having the same problem but I am relaxed. My hair hangs within the first couple hours out of a rollerset. I want bouncy, shiny swinging hair danggit!!

 

[FlowerHair]

I think about cutting my hair shorter in a few years... It's so hard to wear down at this length.

Bubblin' your hair is gorgeous I would just cut it back a little...

To me, personally, natural is more important than length
But to each, their own

 

[LongHairDreams]

Bubblingbrownshuga & BrockStar, you guys could be related!! You look alike (to me)

Anyway, I would probably texlax. I have a million years to get to where you are now. I would hate to see all that beautiful hair of yours go.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I don't think your relaxed hair will compare to the beauty of you natural hair IMO. Your hair we don't see everyday, relax it and you will be just like every relaxed head you see on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I don't hate relaxers but your type of hair is special(body, shine and thickness).

IA with this entire post.

 

[Southernbella.]

I don't think your relaxed hair will compare to the beauty of you natural hair IMO. Your hair we don't see everyday, relax it and you will be just like every relaxed head you see on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I don't hate relaxers but your type of hair is special(body, shine and thickness).

I agree. I'm definitely not against relaxers either, but there are just some people who shouldn't do it, and you are one of them!

 

[MsKipani]

What a mouth full Bublin! I know how you feel. I would cut it rather than put in a relaxer. For me, I've never had a relaxer and I I wouldn't start now since I've lived most of my life without it. The diversity of natural hair is great and yours is too beautiful. Roller set it or flat iron it so that you can have a breather for a bit. I do know how you feel...planning what day to bun it what day to wear it out...it's amazing that hair can cause so much deliberation and time!

 

[sareca]

I'm all about length! I'd texlax, texturize, relax before I cut. The scissors are the enemy.

 

[patient1]

Hey Shuga:

I thought this was your post from last year at first. And my advice will probably sound the same.

I say get quiet, identify what you want to do, and then just cross the road. The LHCF sisters will be waiting for you on the other side.

You are still young. So there's plenty of time to regrow and make a new decision (or two or three for that matter).

Your hair is BEAUTIFUL but more than that you are, so you're gonna shine regardless.

p1