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Help! Transitioner about to relax!!

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tarheelgurl

tarheelgurl

Well-Known Member
:wallbash: I don't know if I can take it anymore!! Last night I washed my hair and it tangled and matted and poofy and the new growth was soooooo dry!!! After finally untangling and getting it somewhat under control I am begining to think that maybe I can't do this!:nono::nono:

Any words of encouragement or tips and suggestions to keep a sista away from the relaxer??? :sad:

Right now, I feel like I need two people holding each of my arms and one person sitting on me to keep me from the relaxer!
 
Giiiiirl I can't help you. I only went 14 weeks but experienced the same thing around week 11.

No matter how much scurl I used my ng was always dry. It never broke but that stuff was horrible. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't get to my scalp and do something with the ng. Every time I washed those last 3 weeks, even in sections, it was always tangled around the ng and those knots would follow themselves down my hair shaft some how.

I wont stretch past 12 weeks again, until I learn how to master that process and keep my hair free from tangles.

It works well for some, I'm just not one of those...for now.

Good luck:yep:
 
do what you gotta do tarheelgurl.

But first i gotta ask what is your routine, what are you using, how and how often are you washing/condition your hair and what you're using to wash/condition, how you're trying to style it, what specific problems are you having, etc. perhaps you can get some ideas from the ladies.

i've learned one thing, especially being on the hairboards, a person can not stop someone from doing something they're headstrong in doing anyway and that's a fact :grin:.

so let's see what you're doing and what you're doing it with and if someone sees something that could use improvement and you are open to the suggestions, you can try it out ~or~ not.

spill it!
 
LynnieB said:
do what you gotta do tarheelgurl.

But first i gotta ask what is your routine, what are you using, how and how often are you washing/condition your hair and what you're using to wash/condition, how you're trying to style it, what specific problems are you having, etc. perhaps you can get some ideas from the ladies.

i've learned one thing, especially being on the hairboards, a person can not stop someone from doing something they're headstrong in doing anyway and that's a fact :grin:.

so let's see what you're doing and what you're doing it with and if someone sees something that could use improvement and you are open to the suggestions, you can try it out ~or~ not.

spill it!
Click to expand...
ITA! What are you doing now?
 
Thanks for the replies ladies!!

Ok, here is what I do now:

I preepoo in the morning with coconut oil and GF sleek and shine. That afternoon I wash with theratin and DC with either humectress or humectin. I used humectress this time. (Sometimes, in the past I used CON but that was before I had all this new growth.)

I thought my usually slurpy, slippery (but now toxic I see) humectress products would do the trick on the ng. But this time..........:nono:.

:nono: By the time I DC'd, it was a mangled mess and the only thing I could do was try my best to detangle it and bun it. I put a little humectress as a leave in and went over the strands with coconut oil.
It is still fairly dry at the roots and a little crunchy too.

Does this shed any light on what my problem may be?
 
It~Can~Grow said:
Giiiiirl I can't help you. I only went 14 weeks but experienced the same thing around week 11.

No matter how much scurl I used my ng was always dry. It never broke but that stuff was horrible. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't get to my scalp and do something with the ng. Every time I washed those last 3 weeks, even in sections, it was always tangled around the ng and those knots would follow themselves down my hair shaft some how.

I wont stretch past 12 weeks again, until I learn how to master that process and keep my hair free from tangles.

It works well for some, I'm just not one of those...for now.

Good luck:yep:
Click to expand...

I am at week 14! Must be the magic number!
 
LynnieB said:
do what you gotta do tarheelgurl.

But first i gotta ask what is your routine, what are you using, how and how often are you washing/condition your hair and what you're using to wash/condition, how you're trying to style it, what specific problems are you having, etc. perhaps you can get some ideas from the ladies.

i've learned one thing, especially being on the hairboards, a person can not stop someone from doing something they're headstrong in doing anyway and that's a fact :grin:.

so let's see what you're doing and what you're doing it with and if someone sees something that could use improvement and you are open to the suggestions, you can try it out ~or~ not.

spill it!
Click to expand...

I always wear my hair in a bun and usually rollerset it, dc and wash once a week. I am VERY open to suggestions.
 
Not to turn this into a relaxed/natural war, but relaxing your hair doesn't make you weak. You don't get a special award for having natural hair. If it's easier for you to maintain relaxed hair, perhaps going natural isn't for you. And this may have been a long stretch and not the transition period you thouught it was, which is 100% "OK"... :spinning: You should be enjoying your hair, not fighting it.
 
Jessica Rabbit said:
You open to trying new products? It may be time to experiment.
Click to expand...

or it might be time to clarify.

girl, you been around here long enough to have read where some ladies have said all of a sudden their products simply stop working the way they used to, right? sometimes it's from product build-up and sometimes it's from the minerals in the water they wash with......

when was the last time you clarified your hair?

are you washing and conditioner your hair in sections? this really makes managing it soooooooooooooo much easier!
 
LynnieB said:
or it might be time to clarify.

girl, you been around here long enough to have read where some ladies have said all of a sudden their products simply stop working the way they used to, right? sometimes it's from product build-up and sometimes it's from the minerals in the water they wash with......

when was the last time you clarified your hair?

are you washing and conditioner your hair in sections? this really makes managing it soooooooooooooo much easier!
Click to expand...
LynnieB's hair talk is so sessy! :Rose::rosebud::kiss2::blondboob:giveheart::blowkiss:
 
LynnieB said:
or it might be time to clarify.

girl, you been around here long enough to have read where some ladies have said all of a sudden their products simply stop working the way they used to, right? sometimes it's from product build-up and sometimes it's from the minerals in the water they wash with......

when was the last time you clarified your hair?

are you washing and conditioner your hair in sections? this really makes managing it soooooooooooooo much easier!
Click to expand...

I haven't tried washing in sections, and I haven't clarified in a very long time. Ok, I will try that this weekend.......off to the search function!

Oh, LynnieB, how do you make the sections? Do you make plaits or pin it up or what?
 
Ditto on the clarifying.

Also, have you tried Coconut Milk & Lime.

I'm a year into my transition and the Coconut Milk & Lime

treatment gives me "slip"... it's almost like getting a texturizer.

It's temporary but I don't mind doing it once a week.

You should try it if you haven't.

HERE'S A LINK TO HOW I DO IT.
 
sorry OP.

Caramela said:
Not to turn this into a relaxed/natural war, but relaxing your hair doesn't make you weak. You don't get a special award for having natural hair. If it's easier for you to maintain relaxed hair, perhaps going natural isn't for you. And this may have been a long stretch and not the transition period you thouught it was, which is 100% "OK"... :spinning: You should be enjoying your hair, not fighting it.
Click to expand...

No one is going "there" and i get the feeling you're trying to insinuate something by saying this :wallbash::rolleyes:

some things are not limited to just natural or just relaxed hair, just hair in general:

tangles are tangles.
build-up is build-up.
breakage is breakage.
dry hair is dry hair.
weak hair is weak hair.
over moisturized hair is........well you get the drift.

imma a 100% do-what-you-gotta-do and a i-hope-it-works-out, i'm-glad-you're-happy and let's-see-if-we-can-suggest-something-that-will-work-for-you type of gal - if i wasn't, i wouldn't be here.

where do you see a problem anywhere in this thread?
 
Caramela said:
Not to turn this into a relaxed/natural war, but relaxing your hair doesn't make you weak. You don't get a special award for having natural hair. If it's easier for you to maintain relaxed hair, perhaps going natural isn't for you. And this may have been a long stretch and not the transition period you thouught it was, which is 100% "OK"... :spinning: You should be enjoying your hair, not fighting it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for this because I was feeling like a failure for a minute there because I couldn't handle the new growth! ((((HUGS))))
 
Do you use a clarifying shampoo? ALso I like biolage detangling lotion. I haven't used it in a while. It is hard managing two different hair types.
 
tarheelgurl said:
I haven't tried washing in sections, and I haven't clarified in a very long time. Ok, I will try that this weekend.......off to the search function!

Oh, LynnieB, how do you make the sections? Do you make plaits or pin it up or what?
Click to expand...

tarheelgurl, you can section your hair anyway that works best for you. when i was transitioning, i did about 6-8 sections and i either put a stretchy ponytail elastic on them, lightly braided or twisted the sections to make it quicker to put in and take out in the shower.

you could also make loose bantu knots or like you said, pin them up with a hair clips.

it really does reduce the tangling and makes it easier to deal with the hair.

just be patient and take your time.



(i don't like it when folks want to turn this into something that it isn't. you do what you have to do to be happy!). most folks natural or relaxed will try to help you the best we can - i hope you know that!)
 
LynnieB said:
tarheelgurl, you can section your hair anyway that works best for you. when i was transitioning, i did about 6-8 sections and i either put a stretchy ponytail elastic on them, lightly braided or twisted the sections to make it quicker to put in and take out in the shower.

you could also make loose bantu knots or like you said, pin them up with a hair clips.

it really does reduce the tangling and makes it easier to deal with the hair.

just be patient and take your time.



(i don't like it when folks want to turn this into something that it isn't. you do what you have to do to be happy!). most folks natural or relaxed will try to help you the best we can - i hope you know that!)
Click to expand...

Yep!:yep: I know that most people here really just want to help each other out, hence my cry for help. I am going to print off what everyone is saying here and start again this weekend.

I have to admit I was feeling kinda bad that I actually thought I couldn't do the transition and would have to relax again.
 
LynnieB said:
sorry OP.



No one is going "there" and i get the feeling you're trying to insinuate something by saying this :wallbash::rolleyes:

some things are not limited to just natural or just relaxed hair, just hair in general:

tangles are tangles.
build-up is build-up.
breakage is breakage.
dry hair is dry hair.
weak hair is weak hair.
over moisturized hair is........well you get the drift.

imma a 100% do-what-you-gotta-do and a i-hope-it-works-out, i'm-glad-you're-happy and let's-see-if-we-can-suggest-something-that-will-work-for-you type of gal - if i wasn't, i wouldn't be here.

where do you see a problem anywhere in this thread?
Click to expand...

Uh, no:nono: I don't speak subliminally or indirectly. Any insinuations you make are your own interpretation. Relaxing isn't for everyone, and being natural isn't for everyone either. A person shouldn't feel like a failure if they find caring for relaxed hair is easier than caring for natural hair or vice versa. Take it for what it is. No hidden messages here.
 
Before you relax try the Yum Carmel Method. I cant remeber the site but I will ge the ingredients for you and post them. i tried it when I was transitioning and let me tell you honey my hair was the bomb soft and silky. My hair loves the stuff.
 
KrimsonKween said:
Before you relax try the Yum Carmel Method. I cant remeber the site but I will ge the ingredients for you and post them. i tried it when I was transitioning and let me tell you honey my hair was the bomb soft and silky. My hair loves the stuff.
Click to expand...

Sounds like the PJ in me is going to get to have a little fun!

Thanks to everyone for your replies. It really helps to have some support! I will not touch it again until this weekend so for the rest of the week I will be looking like a H.A.M.

By the way, does anyone know how you tie the fabric around your head so that it looks like a pretty turban? Think lyric from Bad Girls or Erykah Badu.
 
I am not transitioning but I do have alot of newgrowth right now too. What helped me last wash was to spray my hair with some water, just until is was moist, put on a cholesterol/hair mayo, sit under the dryer for around 15 minutes, let it cool and proceed with washing. I concentrated the product on my newgrowth and it changed my life. I rinsed very well, only lathered my shampoo once and used a thick conditioner like Paul Mitchell supercharged for only 5 minutes.
 
Gymfreak, I was thinking about cholesterol as a preepoo............but my hair is so fine, does it make a difference?
 
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