Beautiful black hair.

[cieramichele]

Beautiful natural hair.

To be honest, I never knew how beautiful natural black hair could be until I met you ladies. Ive snooped in fotkis and all that and was blown away by how gorgeous our hair really is without the relaxers. I can officially say we do not have BAD hair. GOOD hair is HEALTHY hair and you natural ladies have shown me that we can have "GOOD hair" too. I wish I realized this sooner. But even seeing the relaxed girls amongst the naturals, I still wonder how in the world could you girls keep relaxing. Im sure this topic has be discussed before but, why are some of you still relaxing?

Some of you are dedicated to your hair. I know I was. I only went to the salon for a relaxer but I quit. If Im doing all this hair care on a regular basis, I figured it wouldnt be hard to transition.

 

[wannabelong]

I'll bite...right now, relaxing is convienent for me and I'm lazy. I like to wear my hair straight (it's a personal preference, not some deep seeded self-hate issue because I love everything about me) and I know if I were natural with long hair I would have to press it and I don't want to take the time to do it, so I chose to relax. Also, I was natural with a boy cut for about 11 years and I wanted a change. I was even lazier back then because I hardly ever oiled my scalp or washed my hair (I should say scalp because I had *snap* that much hair). I figured why bother since I was just going to get it cut by the barber every two weeks anyway.

 

[tiffers]

Right now, I like the way my hair looks straight. If I was natural, I'd straighten it all the time, so what's the point? I also don't wanna transition or bc. I have 3 babies, and having relaxed hair is convenient for me at this time in my life. Since my hair's thick now, I don't even wanna imagine how thick it would be natural! I can just imagine the hours of detangling my massive head of curls *shudders*

In a few years, when I reach my goal of MBL and my kids are a little older, I'll either transition or bc. Then I'll grow my hair out natural and cut it to donate. After that, who knows? I'm just having fun and enjoying the ride

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

Because I want to . I was the one who made the decision to get a relaxer in my pre teens because I wanted to wear my hair straight a majority of the time. Right now I have 2 little girls(both natural) and I don't have the time to do their heads then turn around to do my massive hair(and yes my hair is huge in its natural state) in the way that I want to wear it. I have considered going back natural but not anytime soon. I have made goals for myself to reach full WL and thats what I'm focused on right now along with the very best health my hair can be in. I'm doing one thing at a time. When I get there then I will consider transitioning without a BC. I'm young I'm not concerned with how long that will take. But when I go natural it will be because I want to not because some one else thinks I should. I do what I want with my hair. Im not sufferig with self hate because I'm not defined by my hair I'm much more than that.

 

[Country gal]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

To be honest, I never knew how beautiful natural black hair could be until I met you ladies. Ive snooped in fotkis and all that and was blown away by how gorgeous our hair really is without the relaxers. I can officially say we do not have BAD hair. GOOD hair is HEALTHY hair and you natural ladies have shown me that we can have "GOOD hair" too. I wish I realized this sooner. But even seeing the relaxed girls amongst the naturals, I still wonder how in the world could you girls keep relaxing. Im sure this topic has be discussed before but, why are some of you still relaxing?

Some of you are dedicated to your hair. I know I was. I only went to the salon for a relaxer but I quit. If Im doing all this hair care on a regular basis, I figured it wouldnt be hard to transition.

I'll bite. I am natiral and have been for three years. January 2004 was my last perm. Before then, I had a very skewed view of natural hair. I thought I would be very limited. Some of my hair idols on this board started going natural. I saw them transition with little hurdles. I always wanted to stop perming but being on this board helped seal the deal.

 

[SparklingFlame]

I was natural for the past 4 years and the only reason why I relaxed was b/c my hair got so thick and long that I had only 2 styling options: twists and braids.

 

[Napp]

im natural but i can see why people relax. seriously. being natural has its own set of issues and some people like the issues of the relaxer better. i personally find that relaxed hair has less surprises.

 

[Mahalialee4]

If I had healthy looking waist length RELAXED black hair, and having no problems with it, I would not BC either. And I would not transition, it I knew it would break my hair off, either. I would relax as long as I wanted that length. If I decided I wanted a short, natural natural, fade, no problem do, just wash and go, then I would chop it. If I had known about Indigo and Henna getting my hair jet black before, I would not have ever used a chemical dye. So it goes both ways. I think most of the ladies recognize that our hair is beautiful, just prefer different methods of displaying it, HTH. If my hair got to waistlength naturally, I would never perm it either, so....it is preference. bonjour

 

[drasgrl]

I didn't vote because my option wasn't there. I relax because it makes my hair more manageable. A few years ago I tried to transition. I forgot how long it was but it was about 6 months. I was tired of wearing my hair the same way and I got tired of not being able to get a comb through my roots so I relaxed.

When I relax it's more versatile I can be curly or I can be straight and it's easier to manage. I'm thinking about going natural again. Even when I was totally natural when I was younger I pressed my hair every week so it was still straight.

 

[myco]

Someone else mentioned this in another thread, but transitioning with relaxed hair takes work and commitment. Most people are not going to BC their hair down to 2 inches - especially if it is already long and healthy and if they feel that they look better with length. So you'd have to negotiate two different textures during a lengthy transition, which some people don't want to be bothered with if relaxed hair is not giving them any problems.

 

[Christa438]

Because I want to . I was the one who made the decision to get a relaxer in my pre teens because I wanted to wear my hair straight a majority of the time. Right now I have 2 little girls(both natural) and I don't have the time to do their heads then turn around to do my massive hair(and yes my hair is huge in its natural state) in the way that I want to wear it. I have considered going back natural but not anytime soon. I have made goals for myself to reach full WL and thats what I'm focused on right now along with the very best health my hair can be in. I'm doing one thing at a time. When I get there then I will consider transitioning without a BC. I'm young I'm not concerned with how long that will take. But when I go natural it will be because I want to not because some one else thinks I should. I do what I want with my hair. Im not sufferig with self hate because I'm not defined by my hair I'm much more than that.

Yep, what she said.

 

[Empress Yahudah]

Because I want to . I was the one who made the decision to get a relaxer in my pre teens because I wanted to wear my hair straight a majority of the time. Right now I have 2 little girls(both natural) and I don't have the time to do their heads then turn around to do my massive hair(and yes my hair is huge in its natural state) in the way that I want to wear it. I have considered going back natural but not anytime soon. I have made goals for myself to reach full WL and thats what I'm focused on right now along with the very best health my hair can be in. I'm doing one thing at a time. When I get there then I will consider transitioning without a BC. I'm young I'm not concerned with how long that will take. But when I go natural it will be because I want to not because some one else thinks I should. I do what I want with my hair. Im not sufferig with self hate because I'm not defined by my hair I'm much more than that.

The highlight parts fit me.
Ive been natural and relaxed on and off. But I'm in my relaxed phase now.
I want my hair straight a vast majority of the time and other styles that are easier for me to acheive with relaxed hair and not worry about puffing up with hummidity or using alot of heat to get those styles.
This feeling may last forever or may not. But I dont see myself transitioning anytime soon.

All I care about is having LONG, HEALTHY, midback or waistlength hair.
There is gorgeous relaxed hair and gorgeous natural hair on this board that I drool over. To me beautiful hair is beautiful hair doesnt matter whether relaxed or natural.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I'm all about doing what works best for you. Some people feel like Black women relax their hair out of self hate...I COMPLETELY DISAGREE!

While some women may relax for that reason, I believe that most Black women who relax fall into 2 categories:

Those who simply want their hair straight or
Those who have no clue as to how to care for their natural hair

Either way, I don't judge people. I was just as proud of my heritage when I was relaxed as I am now that I'm natural.

I love this forum because it's full of beautiful women who want to show that world that Black hair is beautiful.

 

[Traycee]

None of the above....I just don't want to go natural ..No complicated reason.....I just have a No Desire to at all...I love my hair relaxed and all the versatility that my hair has......

 

[PinkSkates]

Originally posted by LadyKpnyc
I'm all about doing what works best for you. Some people feel like Black women relax their hair out of self hate...I COMPLETELY DISAGREE!
While some women may relax for that reason, I believe that most Black women who relax fall into 2 categories:
Those who simply want their hair straight or
Those who have no clue as to how to care for their natural hair
Either way, I don't judge people. I was just as proud of my heritage when I was relaxed as I am now that I'm natural.
I love this forum because it's full of beautiful women who want to show that world that Black hair is beautiful.

Excellent response and very well stated LadyK. And I feel the exact same way!

 

[STLCoverGirl]

I'm all about doing what works best for you. Some people feel like Black women relax their hair out of self hate...I COMPLETELY DISAGREE!

While some women may relax for that reason, I believe that most Black women who relax fall into 2 categories:

Those who simply want their hair straight or
Those who have no clue as to how to care for their natural hair

Either way, I don't judge people. I was just as proud of my heritage when I was relaxed as I am now that I'm natural.

I love this forum because it's full of beautiful women who want to show that world that Black hair is beautiful.

ITA! There is no right or wrong answer, just do what works best for YOU.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I do not want to BC because I will look horrible, and I tried dealing with the different texture to transition with BC, but it was awful. Plus Natural Hair, you never know what you are going to get. I don't how my curls are going to be defined, so I rather have relaxed hair. I'm a college student, and I think it takes less time to manage your hair if you are relaxed so this is the best option for me lol. It's just easier in my option to deal with. I think i can grow my hair out healthy while having relaxed hair so I'm going to work with what I got!

 

[StrongNGlossy]

Right now, I like the way my hair looks straight. If I was natural, I'd straighten it all the time, so what's the point? I also don't wanna transition or bc. I have 3 babies, and having relaxed hair is convenient for me at this time in my life. Since my hair's thick now, I don't even wanna imagine how thick it would be natural! I can just imagine the hours of detangling my massive head of curls *shudders*

In a few years, when I reach my goal of MBL and my kids are a little older, I'll either transition or bc. Then I'll grow my hair out natural and cut it to donate. After that, who knows? I'm just having fun and enjoying the ride

OMG!!! I made the mistake of thinking my hair would be 'easier to care for' Natural. Completely UNTRUE. Just as much work. Either was just has to be a personal preference.

 

[tocktick]

I'm all about doing what works best for you. Some people feel like Black women relax their hair out of self hate...I COMPLETELY DISAGREE!

While some women may relax for that reason, I believe that most Black women who relax fall into 2 categories:

Those who simply want their hair straight or
Those who have no clue as to how to care for their natural hair

Either way, I don't judge people. I was just as proud of my heritage when I was relaxed as I am now that I'm natural.

I love this forum because it's full of beautiful women who want to show that world that Black hair is beautiful.

co-sign. my opinion only differs in that i think there are still a large number of black women worldwide relaxing out of ignorance and/or self-hate. natural isn't an option to them because it's "inferior". i find they're usually not even conscious of this view or think nothing wrong of it

that's not to imply that those who are relaxing are self-hating by default. for some it really is about the two options mentioned above and nothing deeper than that. many women on this board are examples of that mindset.

people should do what they feel is best for their hair; no-one should be natural to prove a "point" if it makes them miserable and they don't like how they look with highly textured hair.

 

[RegaLady]

I have gone back and forth from natural to relaxed. Natural hair is more versatile, and I can do more without worrying if it will fall out. It is STRONGER by far. Relaxed hair is much easier to take care of ,meaning it will fix right up, if you put water on it. I tried natural and I love it. I have tried relaxed and I love it. It depends on people's personal reasons.

 

[SweetMarshCrystal]

Oo I dont relax, Im all natural!!! But for those who think natural hair is unmanagable it really isnt and i can still achieve perm like results!!

 

[SunnyDelight]

I'm transitioning back to natural because I love natural hair. Correction - I love hair and I believe that a woman should have the hair that they want.

That said, I have a vision of myself in a few years, rocking a seriously sexy poof or a sleek bun or long straight pressed hair. It will be completely up to me.

Hair is a personal expression of a person at a certain point in her life. Nothing at all to do with right or wrong.

 

[HappyHairDreams]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

To be honest, I never knew how beautiful natural black hair could be until I met you ladies. Ive snooped in fotkis and all that and was blown away by how gorgeous our hair really is without the relaxers. I can officially say we do not have BAD hair. GOOD hair is HEALTHY hair and you natural ladies have shown me that we can have "GOOD hair" too. I wish I realized this sooner. But even seeing the relaxed girls amongst the naturals, I still wonder how in the world could you girls keep relaxing. Im sure this topic has be discussed before but, why are some of you still relaxing?

Some of you are dedicated to your hair. I know I was. I only went to the salon for a relaxer but I quit. If Im doing all this hair care on a regular basis, I figured it wouldnt be hard to transition.

Why I relax my hair:
1) I like the way it looks (I also like the look of my natural coils - which is another reason i stretch - but they are stubborn as hell and I don't have time to fight with that regularly)
2) I like the styling options for relaxed hair
3) I'm going into law and for the most part it's very much still an "old boy's" club where relaxed hair is considered more suitable.
4) I'm concerned about how massively huge my hair would be if it was natural especially since I have small features...I'll look like a pixie- when i stretch it's like a mini fro on my head until i deflate it with moisture and a head band.

However, since I've been relaxing for about 13 years now, I figure after I get my career established...i might consider going natural...depends on what I'm doing in life.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

Why I relax my hair:
1) I like the way it looks (I also like the look of my natural coils - which is another reason i stretch - but they are stubborn as hell and I don't have time to fight with that regularly)
2) I like the styling options for relaxed hair
3) I'm going into law and for the most part it's very much still an "old boy's" club where relaxed hair is considered more suitable.
4) I'm concerned about how massively huge my hair would be if it was natural especially since I have small features...I'll look like a pixie- when i stretch it's like a mini fro on my head until i deflate it with moisture and a head band.

However, since I've been relaxing for about 13 years now, I figure after I get my career established...i might consider going natural...depends on what I'm doing in life.

I'm currently in my second year of law school and interning at a law firm in Manhattan, and thus far, my natural hair has not been a problem. It's all about how you present yourself. I know what styles are work appropriate and what aren't. Natural hair can fit into the corporate world

 

[HappyHairDreams]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

I'm currently in my second year of law school and interning at a law firm in Manhattan, and thus far, my natural hair has not been a problem. It's all about how you present yourself. I know what styles are work appropriate and what aren't. Natural hair can fit into the corporate world

I work for a small firm - I know they don't care what I do with my hair because that's just the nature of the atmosphere here - very informal. However, many large firms in NY are far more traditional (even to the point where it's "more favorable" for a woman to wear a skirt as opposed to pants.) I don't know if you read American Lawyer but a couple of months ago, I think it was late last summer, they posted an article about an incident at Cleary Gottlieb where a Glamour magazine stylist had been invited to the firm to talk about new, modern, work appropriate looks. The stylist basically said afros and such "political hair styles" are a no-no. (i couldn't get access to the original article but if you google Cleary Gottlieb and Glamour you will find various sites discussing the inceident.) Now the firm and Glamour magazine spent several months following doing damage control. And clearly the stylist is a frigging idiot and I don't endorse what she said at all. However, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people, both Black and non-Black, in positions of authority who, though would not have said it, agree with ther stylist's opinion - it would be naive to think that this one woman is the only person that thinks like that. I'm not saying everyone thinks like she does, I'm saying there are enough that do.
I agree there are plenty of places where natural hair is pefectly accepted in corporate america. When I was working in finance, it was not a problem at all. However, every firm is not the same.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

I work for a small firm - I know they don't care what I do with my hair because that's just the nature of the atmosphere here - very informal. However, many large firms in NY are far more traditional (even to the point where it's "more favorable" for a woman to wear a skirt as opposed to pants.) I don't know if you read American Lawyer but a couple of months ago, I think it was late last summer, they posted an article about an incident at Cleary Gottlieb where a Glamour magazine stylist had been invited to the firm to talk about new, modern, work appropriate looks. The stylist basically said afros and such "political hair styles" are a no-no. (i couldn't get access to the original article but if you google Cleary Gottlieb and Glamour you will find various sites discussing the inceident.) Now the firm and Glamour magazine spent several months following doing damage control. And clearly the stylist is a frigging idiot and I don't endorse what she said at all. However, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people, both Black and non-Black, in positions of authority who, though would not have said it, agree with ther stylist's opinion - it would be naive to think that this one woman is the only person that thinks like that. I'm not saying everyone thinks like she does, I'm saying there are enough that do.
I agree there are plenty of places where natural hair is pefectly accepted in corporate america. When I was working in finance, it was not a problem at all. However, every firm is not the same.

I can see your point, but I both live and work in NYC, and I haven't had any problems. That's my point. I have seen my superiors call women on wearing inappropriate hair styles, and I haven't been one of em. I don't wear fros to work. When people think of natural hair, they automatically see AFRO. While I do wear fros on occasion, I don't when I go to work or class. Natural hair is extremely versatile...I could care less about other peoples' opinions. If I lived my life that way, I would be worried about everything. Stats also show that NYC is most likely to discriminate on Black Lawyers...will that stop from achieving my goals? No.

 

[Legend]

I’m texturized/relaxed now just to have the “best of both worlds” as far as texture, but I go back and forth periodically. Transitioning for me is an easy process, but does take some extra TLC.

As for transitioning, I personally find it pretty easy because of my hair type - which is crinkly/straight 4B (not a curl or coil in sight) - so I don’t have too much of a demarcation issue as long as I use a good moisturizer, like S-Curl. I prefer not to do a BC, and can trim relaxed ends of gradually.

 

[HappyHairDreams]

Re: Beautiful natural hair.

I can see your point, but I both live and work in NYC, and I haven't had any problems. That's my point. I have seen my superiors call women on wearing inappropriate hair styles, and I haven't been one of em. I don't wear fros to work. When people think of natural hair, they automatically see AFRO. While I do wear fros on occasion, I don't when I go to work or class. Natural hair is extremely versatile...I could care less about other peoples' opinions. If I lived my life that way, I would be worried about everything. Stats also show that NYC is most likely to discriminate on Black Lawyers...will that stop from achieving my goals? No.

I'm not saying you have had any problems. Nor am I saying that every workplace will have a problem with natural hair, regardles of how it's styled. Nor am I telling you what you should or should not care about. I'm explain to you one of the reasons why I choose to have relaxed hair and the simple fact that there are places where it does matter.

 

[Country gal]

Someone else mentioned this in another thread, but transitioning with relaxed hair takes work and commitment. Most people are not going to BC their hair down to 2 inches - especially if it is already long and healthy and if they feel that they look better with length. So you'd have to negotiate two different textures during a lengthy transition, which some people don't want to be bothered with if relaxed hair is not giving them any problems.

It is a challenge dealing with two different textures of hair. I tried it and it was a challenge. I had my ugly duckling stage when I transitioned.