Please stop me from even thinking

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

of getting a relaxer! I really do want to stay natural but I'm getting frustrated with my hair! I just bced in late June. My hair is pretty hard to keep from being dry. And I don't know how to do my hair other than WnGs and daily cowashing. If I don't, my hair is tight, dry and super shrunken. I don't know how to do 2nd, 3rd day hair. I tried doing 2 strand twists but I don't think my hair is long enough and then the top part if poofy frizz and the ends are semi defined coils/curls. I can't grasp the concept of cornrows- I've never known how to braid. I've been stalking youtube to get ideas. I"m sure they'd work- if my hair was longer. I haven't really seen any with ladies that have recently bced or have a twa or ta. And I can't seem to straighten my hair for the life of me!

Is there something I'm doing wrong? I cowash almost daily (unless I risk what I mentioned above). I dc 2x/wk and shampoo (chelate b/c of the buildup fr daily cowash 1/wk or every 2wks). I do a treatment with MT maybe 2x/month. Actually my hair seems better after MT and then a moisturizing dc.

please....... experts... natural or otherwise help! I don't want to relax!

 

[lilmsjanet]

do ittttt u'll thank me later

 

[Ganjababy]

Don't!!!! You may regret it. I am feeling you. I don't think you should relax. Persevere, you wont regret it. Have you been using glycerin mixed with aloe vera gel? if not you should. If you want inspiration not to relax then look at ladies with natural hair like ladylibra, ladykpnc (sp) -their progress is very inspiring. Patience patience patience patience patience patience

 

[naijamerican]

of getting a relaxer! I really do want to stay natural but I'm getting frustrated with my hair! I just bced in late June. My hair is pretty hard to keep from being dry. And I don't know how to do my hair other than WnGs and daily cowashing. If I don't, my hair is tight, dry and super shrunken. I don't know how to do 2nd, 3rd day hair. I tried doing 2 strand twists but I don't think my hair is long enough and then the top part if poofy frizz and the ends are semi defined coils/curls. I can't grasp the concept of cornrows- I've never known how to braid. I've been stalking youtube to get ideas. I"m sure they'd work- if my hair was longer. I haven't really seen any with ladies that have recently bced or have a twa or ta. And I can't seem to straighten my hair for the life of me!

Is there something I'm doing wrong? I cowash almost daily (unless I risk what I mentioned above). I dc 2x/wk and shampoo (chelate b/c of the buildup fr daily cowash 1/wk or every 2wks). I do a treatment with MT maybe 2x/month. Actually my hair seems better after MT and then a moisturizing dc.

please....... experts... natural or otherwise help! I don't want to relax!

Mshottie, I truly feel your pain. I've been natural for 8 years and I'm nowhere close to achieving any hair length goals. I think that you're doing everything right. I wouldn't relax yet, though. Continue to do the good that you're doing and be patient with yourself and your hair. If, after a few months, you decide to relax then more power to you! But don't give up because I honestly don't think that you're doing anything wrong. Maybe others can chime in.

 

[ajacks]

Don't do it!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I relaxed and I regret it. I am still no closer to my hair goals and I miss my curls. I'm not the best example on staying natural, but, I wish I had stayed natural.

 

[poookie]

do what's right for you. a relaxer, though not particularly bad, won't solve any problems.

from wgat im reading.... do you think you might be chelating too often? i cowash 3x a week (im relaxed), and only need to chelate/clarify 1x a month, because i always make sure to skritch my scalp, and remove the buildup manually.

 

[Dak]

What are your goals? I can say without doubt the biggest thing that has let me achieve the length I wanted was to stop relaxing and getting a trim with each relaxer. I'd hate to point you towards PJ'ism but, find something that works for you! Although I never liked the smell, Curly Pudding gave me really nice curl definition and so did a number of other products.

2nd and 3rd day hair honestly, I never really got it either. My best advice is to simply let your hair steam while your in the shower in the morning, that usually restored the curl without having to get it sopping wet again.

Once your hair is long enough for a roller set (or maybe it is now?) I'd suggest roller setting it first, then use Sabinos Moisture Block and flat iron.

But hey, just enjoy your curls for now! Your hair looks a lot like mine, I have different textures too, there's a lot on the market that will help give you what you want.

 

[msjones]

Don't!!!! You may regret it. I am feeling you. I don't think you should relax. Persevere, you wont regret it. Have you been using glycerin mixed with aloe vera gel? if not you should. If you want inspiration not to relax then look at ladies with natural hair like ladylibra, ladykpnc (sp) -their progress is very inspiring. Patience patience patience patience patience patience

I definitely had the dryness issue for a few days until I read about putting aloe vera juice with glycerin in a spray bottle to use along with my creamy leave-in. This works WONDERS! I also added some lavender EO for scent. Also, try just shaking our hair out instead of towel drying, this allows you to keep your curls/combat frizz. Here's what I do-- remove excess water by shaking, run my creamy leave in through my hair (I'm currently using Kinky-Curly's "Knot Today" as a leave in, spray my bottle spritz, and finally add Fantasia IC's Styling Gel with Sparkle Lites (the green one). This allows me to have moisturized, defined curls ALL day. HTH!

do what's right for you. a relaxer, though not particularly bad, won't solve any problems.

from wgat im reading.... do you think you might be chelating too often? i cowash 3x a week (im relaxed), and only need to chelate/clarify 1x a month, because i always make sure to skritch my scalp, and remove the buildup manually.

Yeah it definitely seems like you're chelating/clarifying way too often. I did this 1x/week while relaxed, but my natural hair doesn't seem to need it as often, especially since it naturally lacks moisture in the first place. HTH!!!!

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Thanks ladies for your responses and suggestions. I actually just started chelating once a week b/c I noticed how my hair looked pretty dull and dry from buildup. Once a week, I chelate with ORS creamy aloe (I mix it with water in a spray bottle)- and spray my scalp with it and let the rest cleanse my hair. Then I rinse and apply MT for about 5 mins. I rinse and use a moisturizing DC like Joico MR. Afterwards, my hair looks the best! That's what I did last week and I loved it!

My normal routine is to cowash daily with my Joico MR cond but I'm thinking maybe it's too rich for me?- causing buildup? Idk. It's really hard for me not to cowash everyday. But I will try the steaming in the shower as a poster suggested. I tried to rollerset and that was a disaster like you wouldn't believe. When I wear my hair out, I style with fantasia IC gel and Suave natural tropical coconut.

I get so many compliments on my hair... and I don't even see it. I had to grab a mirror and check out the back of my head for myself. I couldn't believe it. I had these beautiful curls- some small, some very tiny, some bigger. The front, though looks kinds frizzy/wavy/straight. I know we tend to have multiple textures on our head but nothing seems to work on the front and my sides (which are longer).

 

[Nonie]

I haven't read the other responses so I'm sorry if I'm echoing one of them. I think you are doing too much and that's why you're getting frustrated. I could never have put up with daily WNGs. I just haven't got the patience. I'm lazy. My Day 2 and 3 after a wash were the days my hair looked and felt its best. And I didn't spend more than 10 mins in the AM or in the PM on my hair. My regimen?

• Wash, condition, ACV my hair and towel dry.
  
• While still damp apply S-Curl the spray by spraying on hair or on hands and rubbing together and smoothing through my strands. I made sure hair was well covered so a comb would glide easily through.
  
  
  
  
  
• Comb and style. If making a puff, use comb and kinda comb backwards (I never used a brush although that would work too). I'd then use those big ouchless elastics and put it over my head as you would a necklace and then lift it over my forehead smoothing it back to flatten the front part of my hair.
  
• I'd comb the puff and sport the cutest coils all day.
  
• In the evening my hair'd feel a bit dry. I'd then apply more S-Curl and then put my hair in plaits, like Mommy always did.
  
• Put on a plastic cap and go to bed.
  
• In the AM, no WNG necessary. No wetting necessary. Just undo the plaits and comb through soft, moist, tangle free hair and style. The wetness from the baggying I guess made up for the WNGs many feel they can't live w/o.
  
• In the evening, hair doesn't feel dry like it did on wash day. Hair feels soft, and fluffy, and moist. So plait it again for the night and baggy.
  
• Next morning another easy day of just undoing plaits and styling soft, moist, easy-to-comb hair.

This was after my BC. And this is one of my easy daily dos: