Afraid to go natural

likewtr4chklit · Sep 17, 2008

Ok LHCF naturals, make your case LOL j/k. But I do need your input and encouragement. So here are my questions:

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.

And anything else you would like to include. I'm currently stretching, but if I can make it 24 weeks without relaxing it may turn into a transition :drunk:

TIA!!

Neith · Sep 17, 2008

I was natural almost a year. I texturized in Feb of this year.

I Bc'd and I DID find styling to be difficult when my hair got longer than a twa or afro.

I was mad that I HAD some length, but it wasn't showing because of incredible shrinkage. This is the reason I decided to texturize.

I didn't have any problem with tangles, dreds or matting. I still don't to this day with 3 months of new growth. I feel that this is a result of me keeping my hair very moisturized.

I love my natural texture... I love kinky textured hair. However, my hair is too short to be comfortable being natural. I plan to grow my texturized hair to a nice length, then just go natural with a looooooooong transition.

Neith · Sep 17, 2008

I just want to add... I'm not trying to discourage you!

You probably won't have as much shrinkage as me (6 inches of hair looking literally like 1 inch of hair)

It may not even bother you as much as it does me. I love the feel and look of my natural hair more than my texturized hair.

I was just giving an honest answer.

Good luck

Qetesh · Sep 17, 2008

i didnt transition. so i may not be the best person to answer these.

i generally also dont have a huge problem with matting and dreading. i find that if i go days without even attempting to braid or detangle my hair it will knot up. for me the easy solution is to just braid my hair at night. or wet it every couple days.

my main reason for keeping my natural coils is its what makes me me. i love my texture even tho sometimes it ANNOYS ME i really feel unique about it no 2 curly heads are alike, straight is just straight less variation. also i keep my coils cuz i can have the best of both... i can get a blow out and have the straight look and still get my coils back.

momi · Sep 17, 2008

I transitioned about 6 months prior to BC. The BC is not for the faint of heart so if you are used to longer hair I would transition keeping the same length. I would grow an inch and cut a inch etc...

I never had any problems with knots and such... I am serious about conditioning and detangling properly. When I wore my hair in its natural state I always kept leave-in in it or some type of spray moisturizer... Also a denman brush keeps my detangling woes at bay.

I transitioned because despite what most people believe, there has to be something wrong with putting a chemical on your scalp. There are so many toxins that I expose myself to - I figured that the more I could cut out the better. What I planned to do initially was to only relax a few times a year, but when I realized I could get my hair just as straight w/o the chemicals I figured "why relax"? If my stylist had to apply the stuff with gloves on how safe could it be for my scalp and body for that matter. (now if I could only cut out sugar - but that is another story)...

Also, I wanted to set an example for my daughter, because I never planned to relax her hair. How could I explain to her that she did not need a relaxer when I was busy slapping one in my hair :nono:

HTH

likewtr4chklit · Sep 17, 2008

Thanks ladies....now can I get some more input please.

discodumpling · Sep 17, 2008

Answers in bold.

likewtr4chklit · Sep 17, 2008

^^^^What are "stretched" styles?

LunadeMiel · Sep 17, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair? NO I just do different things to it.
2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? knots, come with the territory. I've never had any issues with dreading and matting.
3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils. I was tired of relaxing my hair.

JustKiya · Sep 17, 2008

1) No, not really, but then, in all honesty, I never styled my own hair when it was relaxed - it was either done at the salon, or slicked back with some gel and maybe a lil bump under in the back. I find that I have so many more style options now - but I don't like wearing my hair 'down' and I totally HATE hair being in my face - both of which were my main choices when I was relaxed. Blech .

2) Mats and dreads are a sign that you aren't detangling your hair well enough/keeping it stable so that it won't tangle on itself. I've never had to deal with either unless I was doing it on purpose (I was loc'd for 5 years :lol:

)
Knots, esp. single strand ones, I don't worry about. It's a function of curly hair, and unless I'm trying to wear it pin straight, I wouldn't even notice them. Multi-strand knots I do get on occasion, but only on my ends, and usually only when I'm being fast while taking my twists down, and don't work from the bottom up. As my hair gets longer, they are easier to take out without breaking/cutting, because I can actually see the knot, and can tell how to pick it apart.

3) :look:

I didn't really like relaxed hair. It might have been because I wasn't used to it (I've been natural for all but about 24 months of my life), and I don't like 'blending' in, and I don't like hair flying into my face, and my fine hair vanishes to nothing when it's relaxed, and I hated the way perm smelled, and the way it would always burn no matter how well I was based, and the fact that I had to waste so much time (and money) trying to get my hair straight when I didn't even like how it looked on me - :nono:

- for me, going natural was the obvious thing.
And, I really don't give a damn about what other people think of me, so as long as I liked my hair, I didn't (and still don't) care about any sideeyes I might get.

I think - and this applies to any kind of hair, but natural hair esp. - that hair is rarely difficult, in and of itself. A lack of knowledge/understanding about how to handle your hair, makes it difficult. Imagine trying to cook a cake, and not even knowing what a stove IS. Might cause you to end up with some crappy cakes, and think that your only option is to make ice cream, because you know how a freezer works, eh? But no. It's a different skill set, and like anything being learned, it's going to suck a bit as you go through the learning curve - but don't fall into the trap of believing that because it sucks now, it will always suck.

Listen to your hair. Get used to how it acts, and reacts, depending on what you use on it. Get an idea of what your hair likes, and doesn't like - it's one of the reasons I'm such a PJ, because I cycle through stuff and let my hair be the final judge - not anyone elses. Accept the fact that jsut because you are a type X doesn't mean that you will automatically be able to do the things that other type X's can do.

Thank the gods for the internet, seriously. Read all you can about hair itself - it's structure, it's chemical makeup, it's needs, how it reacts to different environments and ingredients - to me, that makes having natural hair SO much easier - it sounds like a whole lot of information - but MAN does having that knowledge cut down on the headaches.

I truly used to HATE my natural hair. It was dry, hard, always tangled, and never grew - and I blamed it all on my hair, not even considering that 80% of the problem was actually ME and how I was treating my hair.

Expect the learning curve, and enjoy it.

discodumpling · Sep 17, 2008

Pretty much any style that doesn't allow my hair to shrink. For me it's as simple as putting my hair in a bun to dry. When it was shorter I did alot of cornrows and braids.

love2praz · Sep 17, 2008

I BC'ed for the 3rd or 4th time 3 weeks ago. I only transitioned for 4 months but I wanted to grow my natural hair to a length where I could pull it into a nice sized puff. (My hair grew unusually fast this summer.)

I have to agree with the above quote. You really have to be mentally ready to BC. Since this is my 3rd or 4th time, it was nothing to me. My philosophy is it is hair and it will grow!

To answer your questions:

1. It is easier to style my hair now that I'm natural. I did not like dealing with my transitioning hair at all. It tangled so much but I didn't care and would cut the relaxed hair in a heartbeat! :yep:

2. I haven't experienced the knots, matting, or dreading so I can't advise on this.

3. Natural hair is just an extension of who I am. I relaxed only because I didn't want to deal with my thick, coily hair as it got longer since I know it will require a lot of patience and TLC. Now I realize that is a sacrifice that I will just have to make in learning what my natural hair likes and/or dislikes.

HTH!
L2P

ceedeelight · Sep 17, 2008

While I transitioned I wore a lot of phony ponytails. Once I was able to flat iron my hair and it was to my shoulders, I cut off my relaxed ends (about 11 months). I was not comfortable with the way a TWA looked on my face. If you are not comfortable with a twa, continue to transition before deciding to cut the relaxer out.

Str8~Curly · Sep 17, 2008

RedVelvet310 · Sep 17, 2008

Ok LHCF naturals, make your case LOL j/k. But I do need your input and encouragement. So here are my questions:

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?
Yes and no, it all depends on what style I want. If I want to wear it straight, obviously its going to take a lot longer to style then I would if I had been relaxed. But styling could also be easier. If I want to wear my hair curly (which is 99% of the time) I just wash it condition it and go.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?
Just remember all hair is different. I used to worry about that too while transitioning, but when I BC-ed, I barely got any knots. The key is MOISTURE. If you neglect your hair it WILL knot, matt and dread, but if you stay attentative you can prevent it from happening. What I've found that helps is PRE-POOING (I use Ghee the night before I wash, a drench my hair in it, wrap it in saran wrap and thr next morning I can EASILY com through my hair with a wide toothed comb, it's amazing). Also CoWashing. I never use shampoo. I also clarify which is good too because it helps to keep your hair products working at their best. I've never really experienced any knots because I'm constantly moisturizing my hair and keeping it in styles that protect it from knots, dreding and matting.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.
My relaxed hair used to be really healthy, but it started to break off throughout high school, and I just wanted to start over. I love natural hair. Style options are definately widened when my hair is natural and actually look better (IMO professionally straightened natural hair looks really thick and beautiful), and I don't really have to worry too much about 'hair chemistry' and obsess over protein/moisture balance, my hair just ... works.

Piece of Advice: When your hair is natural, listen to YOUR HAIR. LHCF is a great guide, but don't follow it word for word and if a certain trend doesn't work for your hair, don't get too discouraged. Sometimes the best treatment for hair is keeping your hands out of it.. caring for it on schedule and in between that leaving it alone. And with natural hair you can keep things really simple.

And anything else you would like to include. I'm currently stretching, but if I can make it 24 weeks without relaxing it may turn into a transition :drunk:

TIA!!

Join the natural side! Don't knock it till you try it!

Southernbella. · Sep 17, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair? Not at all. It's actually easier.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? I don't have knots, matting, or dreading. I don't know why, so I can't really tell you to do or not to certain things to avoid them. I keep expecting them to pop up any minute, but as I get close to a year natural, I still don't have them.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils. My reason for keeping them is because they are beautiful, and there is nothing I can't do with my natural hair. I can duplicate my relaxed hair whenever I want, but the reverse is impossible!

And anything else you would like to include. I'm currently stretching, but if I can make it 24 weeks without relaxing it may turn into a transition :drunk:

TIA!

Natural hair doesn't have to be the hardest thing in the world. Know that natural hair is different from relaxed, so that you aren't expecting certain things that your hair just won't do. If you keep your expectations in check, you should be fine. :yep:

Also, if it's something you really want to do, don't listen to the "friendly advice" you may get from loved ones or coworkers. You know what's best for you.

Leeda.the.Paladin · Sep 17, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?
It was hard at first when I didn't know what I was doing. Now that I know what to do, it's not hard at all. I also expected my hair to do things that it just is not meant to do at first. Once I realized that my hair was not going to do what so-and-so's hair does, then everything else fell into place.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?

I've just started having this problem. I am currently avoiding it by only detangling while using conditioner and being very gentle. I've never had any matting or dreading though, just knots and tangles. I notice them more when I try to do something to my hair while it's dry.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.

I thought I would never ever cut my hair off, but I have to admit I love my curls and kinks. My edges and nape are growing back like I have never seen them. The shrinkage bothers me some, but once it grows a bit more, that won't even be an issue.

Ms Lala · Sep 17, 2008

So here are my questions:

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair? I transitioned for a bout 6 months cut off the relaxer and wore braids off and on. My hair isn't more difficult to style. Once my hair got around APL though it became pretty time consuming to style BUT I style my hair less often. For example if I am wearing twists, I only do them once every 3-4 weeks allowing me to get up and go during the week. So when averaged out it probably the same amount of time I would spend on my hair if it were relaxed. If you plan to wear your hair straight all the time it will be more difficult for you until your hair is used to being straightened or "trained".

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? I have never experienced matting or dreading. I do get knots on the ends of my hair. With curly hair knots are pretty difficult to avoid. I get them less frequently if I wear protective styles and stretched styles. I had to stop doing wash and goes because my hair would have tons of knots after a couple of days of wearing them. I have found that washing, putting big twists in and taking them loose works better if I want a wash and go look. Also oiling the ends of the hair helps with this. THere is no reason your hair should mat or dread unless you leave a style in way too long.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.
When I see pics of myself w/natural and relaxed hair I think I look better natural. THat may be a pretty vain reason but it's the truth for me. Plus if I ever want to wear a straight look I can always flat iron my hair. Also I HATE having to get up and style my hair everyday. WHen I was relaxed I always had to comb my hair every morning or roll it or wrap it or something else. I just don't like having to do that. So twists and braids work well for me. Also my scalp doesn't like chemicals and I am trying to avoid putting chemicals in and on my body. If I do relax or texturize every again I will try PHyto or something like that.

And anything else you would like to include. I STRONLY recommend that every newly natural person find a GOOD, competent natural stylist. Styling natural hair is much different than relaxed hair and you will end up frustrated. You can work w/the stylist and use books to learn how to care for your hair and then eventually stop going to a stylist if you choose. My mother is a cosmetologist so she taught me how to work w/my natural hair. ALot of people end up relaxing because they just don't know what to do w/their hair. I recommend Let's TAlk Hair by Pamela Farrell to all new naturals.

jamaraa · Sep 17, 2008

1. Can't answer didn't transition and I've never had short hair. I imagine styling is much different when you do BC and are used to longer hair, but I can't tell you how.

2. Frankly this is a case of both doing too much and too little. From my observations, many of those who have these problems are frequent CW and infrequent-non combers. Conditioners are almost always full of wax and you must either remove it regularly and/or separate the strands of hair. If you don't comb, you have to regularly remove shed hairs somehow...sheds will help the matting/tangling process greatly along if they aren't removed, in my experience. The curl structure of African textured hair tends to make removal somewhat more involved because the texture 'holds on' to shed more easily. This is why it's easier for African textures to start dreadlocks...the sheds don't come away as freely as in straighter textures. Shed hair + wax = dreads for many LOL...this is how many people deliberately START dreads, don't forget Simply staying free of sheds will make life much easier. Unfortunately alot of the women here are afraid of removing the sheds and almost viewing it as "damage"...that's contributing to the knots, matting, and accidental dreads, IMHO.

Knots at the end of the hair are a bit different. These usually happen when you braid/plait the hair. These can be avoided by being very careful when it comes to putting in and taking out the plait at the very end. They do happen naturally in everybody at times, that's life...but being a bit more careful at the ends should cut it down considerably.

3. Simply preference. I like my hair texture and the fullness/thickness. I'm not fond of super straight hair that lacks texture...coarseness, if you will....to limp for my tastes. I'll confess I might feel differently if my texture were different, but as it is...I dig it.

The only thing I have to add is learn to do your hair yourself...avoid the hair salon/braiders/etc. The greatest thing about natural hair is the lack of dependence on others.

I didn't write this to talk you into or convince you to be a natural. I'm firmly of the belief that people should do whatever fits their lifestyle and inclinations best...just giving you some info.

CenteredGirl · Sep 17, 2008

I'm in my 6th year of being natural. The road has been challenging but worthwhile. For me it's about a healthy scalp more than anything. Perms just tore my scalp and edges up.

What has kept me going is finding some real staples and learning the hard way that it's much easier to trim regularly and make hair care so much easier than it is to be stubborn and retain dry length that makes hair care HARD and you lose it anyway thru breakage.

Good luck.

Napp · Sep 17, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair? it was very difficult for me to get into twa mode. even though my hair wasnt as short as some ladies go it was too traumatic for me. my hair was texturized prior but by that time it looked like a stringy texlax. i liked to expirement with my hair and so having hair so short(i havent had hair that short EVER) wasnt working with me

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? you avoid these by either combing your hair or not. ie you avoid them by keping it in a protective/streched style or (finger)comb and co wash every day. also dont sleep with hair loose on a cotton pillow case. I finally realized this was the reason why my hair was tangling so much. now when i wear my hair out it but it in a few large braids before going to bed. but when my hair was shorter i would have to make smaller braids which took longer and i didnt have the patience for. and so my fro would get squashed and tangled. FYI ive had 100% worse knots matting and dreading with my texturized hair. my natural hair didnt really act up unless i had slept with it wild but i just didnt know it at the time and thought it was just because it was natural lol

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.
the hair feels smoother,stronger and it just looks better IMO. for all the three instances i have used chemicals each time my hair broke off and yes i take care of my hair! quite well!

TaraDyan · Sep 17, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?

I recently big chopped (September 1st), so I'll admit that I'm still new to the natural game. However, I can tell you that both styling and detangling my hair has gotten easier now that my relaxed ends are gone. When I was transitioning, my relaxed ends were fighting each other like boxers in the ring and it took me forever to detangle. Now, I can detangle in less than 2 minutes and style it in less than 5 minutes if I'm wearing my hair curly.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?

I never get matting or dreading but I have gotten a couple of single strand knots. I don't get that many though, because I keep them at bay by making sure I moisturize my hair like a maniac. I don't think there's anything I can do to completely avoid them because my hair is super duper coily. It's simply the nature of coils.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.

I first decided to transition last year because my scalp literally could not take the chemicals anymore. As my transition progressed, I realized that I actually liked my natural hair and wanted to give it a chance. Also, I have fine thin strands that look downright anemic when relaxed. I've always liked big hair, so natural hair just suits me better. I don't think I'll ever relax again.

SEMO · Sep 17, 2008

1. I didn't BC and waited awhile to give myself more styling options. I'm personally glad I went that route.

2. I hardly get any knots, matting, etc. b/c I make sure to remove shed hair (w/ my denman brush) and I try to keep my hair moisturized, which helps tremendously.

3. I stay natural b/c it's more simple for me. I feel empowered to control my haircare (I didn't and wouldn't self-relax), it's cheaper for me (I'm a semi-poor grad student so this counts for me), and most days I love that my hair is curly. I get lots of compliments on my hair and more than one of my friends wants to go natural now b/c I inspired them.

I don't regret going natural and plan for this to be a permanent hair decision. Good luck to you OP in deciding if natural is for you.

santwon · Sep 17, 2008

Hey! Don't be afraid!!!

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?
No, because I wasn't "styling" my hair by any means. Just parting, combing and occasionally bumping ends. So I don't really have anything to compare it too.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?
As others have said, you can avoid it by keeping your hair moisturized and sheds out of it. I used to get MAD knots. But I think it's more a function of knowing what your hair needs, what products to use, and how to work to prevent them from showing up. I'd get knots, but I didn't really understand the matting or dreading.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.
I've always loved curly hair. I didn't really realize that I could have my own. The more I read about it, the more I got intrigued and wanted to try it myself. I keep them because I love my hair so much more now. I feel like I can do anything with it. It's very "me".

And anything else you would like to include. I'm currently stretching, but if I can make it 24 weeks without relaxing it may turn into a transition :drunk:

TIA!![/QUOTE]

I'd like to include that you read as much as you can about natural hair. It's so nice these days, you can have community, books, videos and more.

Oh, and never try to comb your hair dry. You won't like it. Neither will your hair.

caramelcutieinva · Sep 30, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair? Depends. If its just a wash and go then its easy. If I want a twist out or coil out it takes a while. My biggest frustration is that my hair is to short to just put in a ponytail. I would do that all the time when I was texlaxed and relaxed.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? I dunno. I don't have a matting or dreading problem. In fact, since I went natural my detangling problem disappeared.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils. I kept doing fewer relaxers each year and then I noticed my hair wasn't do better with them so the relaxer seemed useless.

msa · Sep 30, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?

I've been natural my whole life so I don't know anything about BC'ing. But, from ages 12-20 I wore my hair straight (wrap) or in braids. I didn't actually style my hair then, just wrapped it at night and then combed it out in the morning. Styling my hair now that the heat stretched hair has grown out is not difficult either. I have never been able to "do" hair but I can two strand twist and I'm learning to flat-twist. That's all I've needed to do really.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this?

As long as I keep my hair moisturized and get all the shed hairs out I don't have knots. And my hair has never in my life matted or dreaded so I don't know what that's about at all.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.

Well, I've never had a relaxer so I guess I don't really consider it an option for me like other people do. There's never a time where I think I want to relax because I accept my hair how it grows out of my head.

And anything else you would like to include.

Being natural is not difficult. I don't try to make my hair do things it's not able to do, so I don't straighten or blowdry. I think as long as you recognize the limitations you'll be ok. And there are far more things that natural hair CAN do, so the limitations aren't that big of a deal.

Rapunzel* · Sep 30, 2008

i didnt transition. it lasted 3 months. but as soon as i did the bc i had no problems styling my hair. the shrinkage and the length did but other than that everything has been ok

i never had knots, matting, dreading or tangles. to each their own though

i wanted to be free. with a relaxer i was limited of styling and my hair was just straight. i got tired of my scalp suffering from the tingles half way through my relaxer application, natural is me and there is so much versatility that comes with being natural. i love my little curls and they love me. i did get frustrated at once and got a flat iron but on the 6th day when i had the puff syndrome also known as reversion, i immediately washed and conditioned my curls and i was glad they came back without damage :lachen:

you will be fine and you can transition as long as you like :yep:

when i treat my hair good it treats me good. if ya know what i mean :grin:

BeautifulNameX · Oct 1, 2008

1. Well, yea but I wear wigs and stuff until I figure something out.

2. I haven't had knots, matting and dreading or at lease yet. But I try to keep my hair detangled. I use a cream detangler.

3. Reason I went natural is because a lot of my best friends are natural and their hair is real pretty. But they go to salons. And relaxers i feel they are un reliable because they might change the formeulea, the brand might discontinue, the stores might not sale it anymore and it was too much trouble trying to find a better one because my hair was used to what it was used to and I hate experimenting with chemicals because chemical change cant be reversed.

I like being natural it gets on my nerves sometimes but its cool. Ill never go back.

LadyKaypnyc · Oct 1, 2008

Well said Kiya!

Mook's hair · Oct 1, 2008

1. For those who transitioned and BC'd do you find it more difficult to style your hair?

I am still transitioning. (October 17 will be 18 months)
Transitioning has its ups & downs. I am managing my transition with cornrowed styles and twists. I find that the 2 textures are a bit taxing to maintain so I understand why people BC around the 8-12 month time frame.
But I also find that the thick natural roots are very easy to maintain and deal with.

2. I keep reading about knots, matting, and dreading, what's this about? Can I avoid this? I've avoided all 3. Moisture is the key.

3. What was your reason for keeping or going back to your natural coils.
I got burned very badly by a relaxer in 2006 and as I read more about the negative aspects of relaxers, I decided to stretch them farther apart to 6 months but then after a while I just decided to skip the stretch and go for the whole sha-bang. I want to see what my natural hair bill be like, I want to know that I can handle it and I just love the thickness. I am still trying to learn to keep the fuzzies to a minimum.

Afraid to go natural

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In hair purgatory

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