long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

[Dposh167]

...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol

 

[TexturedTresses]

I'm not going to lie. I run my finger through my hair or flip it over my shoulder so they can know its real. I don't get upset though. I always want to stare at people's hair and I sometimes find it hard to avert my gaze. So I know the feeling.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

When I was recently APL I didn't get stares, probably because my hair was a bush

 

[babyleaf]

I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing. Truth being, when I get a hair weave ( which will be really soon, if my hair continues to be dry like the sahara), it will be STUPID long and look nothing like my locks. I am gonna go for the hawaillan silky look...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

For some odd reason, when I do have longer hair, it's the women who only look to PROVE that it's not mine when they catch men staring.

I was in a BSS in Brooklyn and I had a WL wet and wavy in. This dude thought I was Indian so the girls came up to me to see just so they could prove I wasn't.

I know I don't qualify to respond but still... women will always look to refute bc of their own insecurity...and that's sad and stupid. Get some MT and grow your own.

 

[Dposh167]

I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing. Truth being, when I get a hair weave ( which will be really soon, if my hair continues to be dry like the sahara), it will be STUPID long and look nothing like my locks. I am gonna go for the hawaillan silky look...

lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol

 

[feelfree]

my hair has hovered between APL and BSL most of my life, and when i have chosen to wear it down in public, i would get a lot of "oh girl, is that all your hair?" and comments in a similar vein. nothing negative, really. and those who stare would just look away when caught.

but i have always been apt to wear my hair up, so on the few occasions when i have worn it down, friends and strangers have been like "dang! where did all that hair come from?"

 

[meecee]

Honestly I don't notice them unless someone points it out. My family and I tend to get stares around here regardless (clearly we aren't from this area to some people). I know my hair does not appear to be weave and every now and then I'll get a complement from a genuinely nice stranger.

 

[BostonMaria]

I'm usually clueless when people are staring at me - men or women. My daughter has long hair and I do notice when people give her dirty looks, which as a mom I don't appreciate. You know how catty teens are.

When I have my hair curly I sometimes will get that "is that a wig" look. I fluff it up or pull it to let them know, yes this is mine If I blow dry my hair and its freshly washed I sometimes get a "is that a weave" look. If its been a few days and it looks dry, eh I won't get that look. Again, I will twirl my hair or pull it to let them know its not a weave..

Why go through all that hassle? Because just this year alone I had a few people pull my hair! Yes I'm not lying! And had a few co-workers ask me if I was wearing a weave.

 

[Chrissmiss]

I usually don't notice the stares. The people I am with usually tell me. When I was working as a cashier I got a countless number of comments from customers. "Is that all yours?" "How do you manage all of that?" "What did you do to get it like that?" And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I have also gotten some dirtty stares and snide "weave" comments before, but I just roll my eyes and go on about my business. Oh and I've had several weave checks from people running their finger through my hair and over my scalp. That is the only thing that will get me angry!

 

[TexturedTresses]

I don't think its about length though. I think its about thickness, health, and style. I'm not going to lie. When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.

 

[YvonneL]

I wore my hair out for two weeks after a three month stretch. When I returned to my half wigs everyone thought it was my hair. What do you do? Tell them its fake or just say thank you cause they re just staring to find out. I think its funny and it makes me proud of the work ive put in.

 

[Eisani]

I'm not going to lie. I run my finger through my hair or flip it over my shoulder so they can know its real. I don't get upset though. I always want to stare at people's hair and I sometimes find it hard to avert my gaze. So I know the feeling.

I really still don't consider my hair long, but I do the same thing or turn my head really fast like someone called my name Sometimes I'll also pull out a clip, finger comb then put it up. Other times, I just KIM. Depends on my mood and who's doing the looking.

 

[tada1]

disclaimer: okay so my hair is barely APL so i guess it's not "long" by my standards, and Im currently growing out my layers.

I never thought i'll say this, but i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare. Especially from guys. In the town i live, brown skin is still a minority, so the colored folk just stare and dont even know what to say. While the white folk are always quick to say how nice it looks.what gives?

The other day i wore my hair down, I was not impressed by how many people thought it was okay to run their fingers through it without permission!

venting complete

 

[locabouthair]

you know the stares mean you're doing something right

 

[CHECKMATE!]

I don't mind at all. I just hate the "do u have or is that a weave" comments...my coworkers are amazed at my current length since I always keep my hair in a bun.

 

[Digital Tempest]

When I had longish hair before going natural, I didn't notice people staring. I do remember that I used to love wearing my hair in two braided pigtails when I was into the club scene, and I used to HATE how people took that as an invitation to pull my hair. It's always been a natural reaction for me slap hands when people start touching my hair.

I'm natural now, but shoulder length when stretched, so I'm not showing a lot of length. I notice people staring from time to time, but not in a negative staring way, more of a "hmmm..." kind of way because a lot of people think my hair is twisted or I have a texturizer or they talk about how soft my hair looks (since a lot of people tend to natural hair is supposed to look hard and dry).

Now, I have a cousin who's WL with thick, 3a/3b-ish hair. We were out recently and some girls were staring at her hair while eye-rolling and debating whether it was a weave or not. She was oblivious. One girl was so positive it was not her hair, and she didn't realize that we were together until I politely informed her that was my cousin she was talking about and her hair was in fact all real and that black women could grow a healthy head of beautiful, long hair in case she hadn't gotten the memo.

 

[chavascandy]

When get stares, I start laughing. Then I immedately feel like I have something stuck on my face,....and start believeing that maybe that's why people are staring.....Then I start to remember that maybe it's my hair that they are staring at.

 

[billyne]

yeah..it's kind of funny when it happens..i remember one time i had my hair up in a afro puff and was at a festival ,and a lady that was staring came up to me and said i had a bad ass hair piece in my head..i just told her thanks and kept on shopping.lol

 

[Dposh167]

When I had longish hair before going natural, I didn't notice people staring. I do remember that I used to love wearing my hair in two braided pigtails when I was into the club scene, and I used to HATE how people took that as an invitation to pull my hair. It's always been a natural reaction for me slap hands when people start touching my hair.

I'm natural now, but shoulder length when stretched, so I'm not showing a lot of length. I notice people staring from time to time, but not in a negative staring way, more of a "hmmm..." kind of way because a lot of people think my hair is twisted or I have a texturizer or they talk about how soft my hair looks (since a lot of people tend to natural hair is supposed to look hard and dry).

Now, I have a cousin who's WL with thick, 3a/3b-ish hair. We were out recently and some girls were staring at her hair while eye-rolling.....

woow...what was the girl's response to u after saying that?

 

[1QTPie]

My hair isn't long-long. But no one stares. They comment, but they don't stare. Probably because I go the same places all the time. They are just used to my short curly hair. It's always a surprise to see it straight and much longer.

 

[Te'TahHead]

I get stared at a lot too. I don't think it is my hair in and of itself, it is more so people just think they KNOW I'm not from down here.

Rarely do women comment to me about it. I just see the stares. I'm not gonna lie, I like it.

I can handle the stares

 

[Geminigirl]

This thread is great. I am subscribing now. I always wonder how people feel about the stares, because I'm not gonna lie I have to stop myself from staring as well. I love hair and healthy hair at that. I love the different textures and swirls and curls people's hair can have.

 

[NGraceO]

lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol

LMBO...that is the FUNNIEST thing I ever heard...LOL

 

[Digital Tempest]

yeah..it's kind of funny when it happens..i remember one time i had my hair up in a afro puff and was at a festival ,and a lady that was staring came up to me and said i had a bad ass hair piece in my head..i just told her thanks and kept on shopping.lol

I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving.

woow...what was the girl's response to u after saying that?

She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

My hair isn't waist length or nothing, but I have caught a couple stares. I don't mind. Usually it will be on one of those good swangin days so, I find it admirable.

 

[T_shea]

I am around BSL, but this is the longest it's ever been since I was a child. I'm completely natural since 2003. I get the most weird looks in the salon while getting my hair washed. All the other stylists look at me like DAMN, I am so glad I don't have to wrestle all that hair. But I love it, even in an afro ppl ask is that all my hair. For me I have a lot of hair & not necessarily length. Ladies, fling your hair and smile when they stare. Or even run your fingers through it, I would. ;>

 

[naturalgurl]

I get stared at a lot too. I don't think it is my hair in and of itself, it is more so people just think they KNOW I'm not from down here.

Rarely do women comment to me about it. I just see the stares. I'm not gonna lie, I like it.

I can handle the stares

Your siggy! Good job. I did the race too but power walked it under an hour. I do all breast cancer walks/races, I've lost three loved ones to the disease...

As for the long hair stares. I wear my hair natural and up in buns most times. When you look at most of my buns you can tell I must have some length. It's really weird, but sometimes I can "feel" people move up closer to look deep into my head. Sometimes I let them get lost in this mane, other times I turn around really quick to catch them in the act and watch them squirm...

 

[Eclass215]

I have actually had this happen both when I had a short weave and when I wear my hair out. The short weave was the funniest because I didn't see it myself, my guy friend who was with me noticed and pointed it out. I was at a BSS in Philly and I knew there was a group of girls standing close by, but I didn't know they looked me up and down the whole time I stood in line he told me when we left and I thought it was hilarious.

And just this past Friday I went out and made a comment about not wanting my hair to smell like smoke in this club and this guy said "Oh you mean your weave?" He said it as a joke, but I know he thought it was fake. And my hair isn't even THAT long. I have to prepare myself for when it actually gets longer. Ugh.

 

[trj1922]

My hair ain't nothin' to write home about and it is usually bunned. I get between APL and BSL without much effort. My hair has thinned considerably in recent years, but back when I would actually wear it straightened and loose, I got stares up the wazoo. A few people wanted to know if it was a weave, which I thought was utterly stupid since one of the telltale signs of a weave is abnormal or uneven volume. My little thin flat hair ain't no weave, and if it was I need to have gotten my money back.

Black folks are often so brainwashed into believing that we can't grow hair that the sight of a woman with shoulder length or longer hair shuts off their common sense!