Relaxed Heads....do you ever just wanna give up...

[BlueNile]

...and go natural?

5 years ago I went natural. Chopped my hair down to 3 inches. Stayed natural about 3 months. Relaxed. Had thick healthy hair for about 3 years. Now it's rebelling and I'm getting tired. I see all these beautiful natural heads and think about going natural all the time. I know that when I get older I will go natural, I don't want to deal with relaxing all my life.

Natural hair vs relaxed hair both have their pros and cons. I just don't know.

Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Qualitee]

Yea I do. I want my 3b/3c/4a curls. I want the Kelis look i guess when I get older I will

 

[BlueNile]

Yea I do. I want my 3b/3c/4a curls. I want the Kelis look i guess when I get older I will

I have 4 a/b hair and I won't have curls. But even still I see gorgeous 4 type hair lookin' fierce! I want that! Those big beautiful afro puffs! But I guess I feel like it's even more work than relaxed hair. I don't know

 

[luckiestdestiny]

That's my debate right now. I'm 100 percent natural, and have been for years, but my hair fairs better when it's pressed (less risk of nots, tangles, I can wrap and go in the morning), but I also like that my hair is natural. As it gets longer, and takes four hours on wash days (or more depending on what I'm doing) because of the thickness, and time for detangling, I at times feel like cutting it all off, screaming and laughing with glee because then I won't have to worry about hair at all. I did that like three years ago, buzzed down, and I won't be doing it again. Sometimes I wish it was relaxed so that my styling can be easy and quick (much quicker than styling hair that is closing in on mid back when stretched). They both have their pluses and negatives, though. Right now I'm thinking of weaving it up until I make a decision, so I don't pull out the clippers again. Okay so I'm not relaxed, but I still struggle. Just wanted to give you the other side.

 

[Tarae]

Sometimes I do, especially when naturals post their pics on here. I really like going in posts and fotkis of natural ladies.

But I know I am not ready for that transition yet. And I'm definitely not ready for a BC so I'll just admire for now.

 

[MizAvalon]

Sometimes I do. If I could wake up tomorrow with the same length I have now, but natural? I would do it. Especially knowing all that I know now about natural hair. I was natural for 4 years and only relaxed out of frustration. The transition period is what's stopping me.

The shrinkage would suck too but I could work around that.

So until I feel like dealing with all of that, I will remain relaxed.

 

[BlueNile]

That's my debate right now. I'm 100 percent natural, and have been for years, but my hair fairs better when it's pressed (less risk of nots, tangles, I can wrap and go in the morning), but I also like that my hair is natural. As it gets longer, and takes four hours on wash days (or more depending on what I'm doing) because of the thickness, and time for detangling, I at times feel like cutting it all off, screaming and laughing with glee because then I won't have to worry about hair at all. I did that like three years ago, buzzed down, and I won't be doing it again. Sometimes I wish it was relaxed so that my styling can be easy and quick (much quicker than styling hair that is closing in on mid back when stretched). They both have their pluses and negatives, though. Right now I'm thinking of weaving it up until I make a decision, so I pull out the clippers again.

Seems like everybody wants want the other person has, huh? <<<sigh>>>

 

[BlueNile]

Sometimes I do. If I could wake up tomorrow with the same length I have now, but natural? I would do it. Especially knowing all that I know now about natural hair. I was natural for 4 years and only relaxed out of frustration. The transistion period is what's stopping me.

The shrinkage would suck too but I could work around that.

So until I feel like dealing with all of that, I will remain relaxed.

I'm almost to the point where I don't care about shrinkage. I'm just tired of knots, tangles, breakage and never wearing my hair down. This ponytail is TIRED!

 

[silkii_locks]

Yeah I think about it quite often, actually. Especially when I see pictures of naturals with the same hair type as mine and their hair is so healthy and strong. I BC'd down to about 3" about 8 years ago. My hair was so healthy and grew so fast, split ends were long gone and I had no breakage issues. But I couldn't deal with the thickness and the hours of detangling. But then again that was before I found this site. So who knows maybe one day I'll try again. But as for now I'm going to see if I can actually reach my goals relaxed, as I've seen so many ladies on here do.

 

[Ramya]

Every now and then. I'm texlaxed but I love my natural texture. I think about the styles I used to wear and what my hair looked like. However then I remember the reason why I'm texlaxed and snap out of it

 

[ChoKitty]

I want to, badly. I even tried...but I can't take the knotting and damage that I get with trying to transition...I even got to 11 months post relaxer....and I look like the worlds ugliest boy with short hair. I feel completely unfeminine, so I can't just chop it off...maybe when I'm older...

 

[hopeful]

Seems like everybody wants want the other person has, huh? <<<sigh>>>

Basically.

 

[BlueNile]

Every now and then. I'm texlaxed but I love my natural texture. I think about the styles I used to wear and what my hair looked like. However then I remember the reason why I'm texlaxed and snap out of it

Your hair grew TREMENDOUSLY in just 3 months. Wow. What did you do?

 

[BlueNile]

I want to, badly. I even tried...but I can't take the knotting and damage that I get with trying to transition...I even got to 11 months post relaxer....and I look like the worlds ugliest boy with short hair. I feel completely unfeminine, so I can't just chop it off...maybe when I'm older...

I know what you mean. When I was very young, about 10 years old, I had to cut all my hair off because of damage from perms, jheri curls and perms back to back. Me and my grandmother were in the grocery store trying to decide on what kind of lunchmeat to buy. The butcher came out and overheard us and said " Oh buy whatever! HE will eat anything. My grandma was like....uhhhh that's a girl.

I was crushed

I think that might have been my defining moment to make me want long hair.

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

Yes, I am 4 months post now. I have transitioned countless times and have never made it past 4 months. I'm so tempted to relax because it was less work for me....but I admire natural hair so much. I'm don't know what to do.

 

[BlueNile]

Yes, I am 4 months post now. I have transitioned countless times and have never made it past 4 months. I'm so tempted to relax because it was less work for me....but I admire natural hair so much. I'm don't know what to do.

Me too erplexed

I love your siggy pic

 

[SEMO]

Come on over to our side. There's always a flat iron if you need it. But seriously, hair always grows back so do whatever you feel is best.

 

[Tee]

No, I never want to give up because I am no quitter.

 

[locabouthair]

I was natural when I first came to the site. Right now I am frustrated with the breakage and slow growth and I think about going natural again, but then 1 sec, I know thats not what I want to do. I honestly had the same issues natural and relaxed, so I'm not tempted to go back.

 

[BlueNile]

Come on over to our side. There's always a flat iron if you need it. But seriously, hair always grows back so do whatever you feel is best.

Ohhh you're bad. But I do think that though

No, I never want to give up because I am no quitter.

Me neither! And that's another thing that makes me torn! ! Go head girl. I like your spirit!

I was natural when I first came to the site. Right now I am frustrated with the breakage and slow growth and I think about going natural again, but then 1 sec, I know thats not what I want to do. I honestly had the same issues natural and relaxed, so I'm not tempted to go back.

Me too. The natural just keeps callin me. Keeps callin me, man (think New Jack City)

 

[newflowers]

I was thinking about this on Saturday when I was i the process of my wash, deep condition, roller set routine. I tried before, but couldn't handle the upkeep as it seems to me that natural hair was way more work. I'd like to thik that one day I will go chemical free, but I don't see it happening any time soon.

 

[Mandy4610]

I have 4 a/b hair and I won't have curls. But even still I see gorgeous 4 type hair lookin' fierce! I want that! Those big beautiful afro puffs! But I guess I feel like it's even more work than relaxed hair. I don't know

Decision decision. I feel you 100%. I am natural now, but when I was relaxed, I really enjoyed my hair ( a bit more than I do now as a matter of fact, just in terms of styling), but my hair started breaking and I decided to BC, which I really was not ready for.Now I am challenged to learn how to deal with my natural hair, I can not braid or twist to save my life.
For me, 100% natural as I am, relaxed was easier to deal with. I love my natural hair to death, but I have no idea what to do with it.
This being said, being natural has taught me a lot about my hair, so much that if I ever go back to relaxing, I will be better informed.
Being natural has forced me to try a lot of new things (styles, makeup, ear rings, products etc)
Its a tough decision, go natural, go relaxed, go texlaxed . In the end you do what works for you and your hair.

 

[jerjer29]

I want to, badly. I even tried...but I can't take the knotting and damage that I get with trying to transition...I even got to 11 months post relaxer....and I look like the worlds ugliest boy with short hair. I feel completely unfeminine, so I can't just chop it off...maybe when I'm older...

i think people always think that it's always about not loving your natural texture or thinking nappy hair is wrong when it comes to the BC and not being comfortable with yoru natural. lol it is not that, it's just TRULY frustrating to be shoulder length or longer relaxed and then have to regrow it all again naturally. It takes about 6 inches for your hair to be shoulder length (at least for me i think), that's a whole year (my hair grows 1/2 inch a month). And some people think a year isn't long, but a YEAR is a LONG TIME. And then struggling with it, finding something to do to your hair without damaging it and having it break off. I just feel like if you want to go natural, you better do it now because it'll just be that much harder later on, ESPECIALLY if you're arm pit length or longer. So far i'm on my 5th month, going on 6th transitioning, and i have no intentions on relaxing but just thinking about how long its gonna take before i BC (18 months) is frustrating.

 

[tada1]

I feel ya mehn! Im actually in braids right now because i am transitioning. I just got sick and tired of debating whether to go natural or not. Im still very young, and my hair is just begining to creep towards APL. I KNOW that if i wait any longer, I'll fall hopelessly in love with my length and continue wondering if i'll have preferred to rock my natural hair. I dont want to have any regrets. I figure, i'll just go natural now...if i dont like it, i can always relax my hair and rest assured that i dont have any unfinished business. The way i see it, I have nothing to lose

 

[Irresistible]

When I first went natural, my ex (BF at the time) Rained on my parade, I was having dreams of long natural hair that was healthy and how I couldnt wait for it to grow out and wear it down yada yada. Then he said' Yeah but it will swell and revert and not stay' Screech! What? I swear I did not think it would be that way .......errm he was right


my hair dresser, me newly natural again, Why didnt you tell me all these years that I didnt 'need' a relaxer and my hair would have done better without it. Him: Relaxers arent for types of hair, they are for reversion? Me: huh? what you mean?

years later go the club, enter with a slammin press n curl and leave with a big poof ball, scared and paranoid someone is gonna yell out 'damn get a relaxer 'b word' and the whole crowd is going to die in a roar of laughter

 

[doll-baby]

If my natural hair were more manageable I probably would nix the relaxed look . I remember when I was in braids without a relaxer I would play with my texture while my braids were out and I couldn't form any curls or coils even when my hair was wet. It was very frustrating and unflattering some people can rock their natural texture no problem but I can't. Maybe when I'm too old to care I will go natural but while I still have the desire I'm going to continue to relax.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Yes, I am 4 months post now. I have transitioned countless times and have never made it past 4 months. I'm so tempted to relax because it was less work for me....but I admire natural hair so much. I'm don't know what to do.

This is my fear, that I will BC and end up relaxing again. Honestly, this is the first time I put more time and thought in this transition. I found out that I was doing my hair wrong. I also found out why my co washes went sour. I have invested a lot of time and energy this transition and I am hoping that this time I will remain natural. If I don't, then I will lightly texlax.

 

[BlueNile]

This is my fear, that I will BC and end up relaxing again. Honestly, this is the first time I put more time and thought in this transition. I found out that I was doing my hair wrong. I also found out why my co washes went sour. I have invested a lot of time and energy this transition and I am hoping that this time I will remain natural. If I don't, then I will lightly texlax.

I will say that when I BC'd and then relaxed, my hair was SO much stronger and healthier because I was starting out with a clean, even, healthy slate.

The whole relaxer process is just getting to me. Condition, condition, condition. Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild...only to break it down when I relax and start the whole thing over again.

I would like to be able to comb my hair without fear of breakage (I only comb about 3 times a month)

I would love to do a funky twistout and have it come out looking fierce, and big and thick!

I want to rock a BAA with some hoop earrings and a crocheted (sp?) shirt

But the time that it takes to do natural hair (especially 4 type hair) scares me

I feel guilty for not wanting to embrace my natural hair or at least for being ambivalent about it

 

[hopeful]

I will say that when I BC'd and then relaxed, my hair was SO much stronger and healthier because I was starting out with a clean, even, healthy slate.

The whole relaxer process is just getting to me. Condition, condition, condition. Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild...only to break it down when I relax and start the whole thing over again.

I would like to be able to comb my hair without fear of breakage (I only comb about 3 times a month)

I would love to do a funky twistout and have it come out looking fierce, and big and thick!

I want to rock a BAA with some hoop earrings and a crocheted (sp?) shirt

But the time that it takes to do natural hair (especially 4 type hair) scares me

I feel guilty for not wanting to embrace my natural hair or at least for being ambivalent about it

I love the bolded comments, you make being natural sound so fun. In the end though for me it was the time it took (3-5 hours) for me to get to the beautiful twist-out that would only last 2-3 days. And the shrinkage kinda hurt my feelings too. Even texturized, the shrinkage still gets to me.

 

[prospurr4]

No...not at all. Over the years, I've been natural, fully-relaxed, and now, texlaxed for the last 2-1/2 years. Texlaxed is definately best for me because I still have a lot of my 4b texture, shrinkage and thickness, which I love but detangling and styling is soooo much easier.