4bz Natural - Oh Woe is Me!

[CenteredGirl]

I have been struggling with my natural hair for over 6 years. It has gotten way better than it used to be thanks to boards and ladies like yourselves. My bud SamanthaJone's LBB and Miss Kiya's Baking soda discovery have made my hair manageable, no doubt. But i'm not feeling the way it looks in its natural state. It is so cottony, coily, kinky. The z pattern in some big areas of my hair are still a challenge.

I look at pics of ladies with the same type of hair and it's nice and shiny and smooth and no fly aways. Their twists are smooth shiny and even. Not mine. I'm wondering how can their hair look like that, and mine frizzy still after all these years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my progress to date, but I don't think my hair will ever look like some ladies who have my hair type. Guess it's the luck of the draw?

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Uh oh....
Don't be Sad my big sis!!!!

Let's see some PICS!!!!!!!

 

[anon123]

I have been struggling with my natural hair for over 6 years. It has gotten way better than it used to be thanks to boards and ladies like yourselves. My bud SamanthaJone's LBB and Miss Kiya's Baking soda discovery have made my hair manageable, no doubt. But i'm not feeling the way it looks in its natural state. It is so cottony, coily, kinky. The z pattern in some big areas of my hair are still a challenge.

I look at pics of ladies with the same type of hair and it's nice and shiny and smooth and no fly aways. Their twists are smooth shiny and even. Not mine. I'm wondering how can their hair look like that, and mine frizzy still after all these years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my progress to date, but I don't think my hair will ever look like some ladies who have my hair type. Guess it's the luck of the draw?

Hey, Centered! Can you post pics of how you want your hair to look, using someone of similar hair type?

 

[Junebug D]

Don't sweat it... and a lot of people are typing their hair wrong, and the types aren't even one-size fits all anyway. Natural hair comes in so many varieties with some many random characteristics. Some of us just have fuzzball hair, I believe. You only drive yourself crazy wondering "Why won't my hair do that or look like that?"

I agree with the others, post some pics and let's see!

 

[Nonie]

CG,I have been here 5.5 years and my hair is cotton. It does not shine. It has flyaways which believe it or not I love, because not only are they soft like fur, they look that way. Maybe I could get some shine if I used coconut oil. But I love having nothing in my hair. My twists look neat only because of my twisting method but they are not shiny. I think you feel sad because you are comparing your hair with hair that is of a different texture from yours. You are not alone, Sweetie, with hair like that. But those things are what makes it beautiful in its own right. If shine is what you are after, I am sure there are products that can give a sheen. But don't aim for a certain look. Focus on your hair and aim to bring out its best. If you look only at your hair, you'll become like the prince possessed by love for only one. And you will not be able to appreciate anything else as much as you do the apple of your eye.

 

[mamauv2]

That was sweet Nonie. Being on this board can be a double edged sword, you get so much great information but you also can develop hair envy. Your hair is gowgus CG, it really is and I can understand how you feel. I see other naturals who's TWA I envy and I've tried to mimic the look to no avail. My hair just can't do that. What can you do? I decided not to get caught up in hair type anymore. When you first become natural, it's almost an obsession trying to figure out where you "fit in" but like another poster said, everyone's hair is so different, no matter how similar it may appear. I'm sure many (maybe even me ) look at your hair and feel the same way you do when you see others. It's okay. Just love that beautiful mane, girl.

 

[prettybrowneyescutie]

I know how you feel...I wan some answers too

 

[Nonie]

I know how you feel...I wan some answers too

I am with Mwedzi, can you too post pictures of these people with hair like yours who have characteristics that yours cannot achieve? Maybe it's just a difference in products used? Maybe it's just you being hard on yourself?

 

[CenteredGirl]

ITA . So on point!

That was sweet Nonie. Being on this board can be a double edged sword, you get so much great information but you also can develop hair envy. Your hair is gowgus CG, it really is and I can understand how you feel. I see other naturals who's TWA I envy and I've tried to mimic the look to no avail. My hair just can't do that. What can you do? I decided not to get caught up in hair type anymore. When you first become natural, it's almost an obsession trying to figure out where you "fit in" but like another poster said, everyone's hair is so different, no matter how similar it may appear. I'm sure many (maybe even me ) look at your hair and feel the same way you do when you see others. It's okay. Just love that beautiful mane, girl.

 

[CenteredGirl]

I will pm each of you with pics by Sunday. Thank you for your kind support.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

CG!!!
YOU have GREAT HAIR!!!!!!
And so does NONIE and so does EVERYONE!!!!


Keep that is mind. I know I have to.

 

[CenteredGirl]

Ms. Sam, you are the best. I wuv you.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Ms. Sam, you are the best. I wuv you.

I love you too. Looks like I have to come to Oregon.

 

[naturalgurl]

I was in utter shock when I saw the author of this thread! Girl, your hair is slamming! I do know what you mean though. I see some people with twist outs to die for and they have 4a/b hair too,or so they say. I don't do twist outs because I want my twist outs to look like nice shiney squigglies, not like a chunky fro. That's how mine turn out. Nothing wrong with a chunky fro but if I'm in the mood for shiney squigglies, then that's what I want. On days I want a chunky fro, it's slamming, get what I mean? So I feel you girl. Here's a hug...

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I was in utter shock when I saw the author of this thread! Girl, your hair is slamming! I do know what you mean though. I see some people with twist outs to die for and they have 4a/b hair too,or so they say. I don't do twist outs because I want my twist outs to look like nice shiney squigglies, not like a chunky fro. That's how mine turn out. Nothing wrong with a chunky fro but if I'm in the mood for shiney squigglies, then that's what I want. On days I want a chunky fro, it's slamming, get what I mean? So I feel you girl. Here's a hug...

I was shocked too....

 

[~VicTorIAn~]

I remember in 4th grade when I wanted flowing hair like my Indian and White friend, Cody and she wanted cornrows and braids like mine.
I never did grow that type 2 hair that I wanted and her bumpy looking cornrows only lasted a day.
It's human nature to want what you dont have and it took me a long time to love what I have. The first step was accepting what my hair will and will not do. I'm not going to waste my money on the much raved about Kinky Curly ::even if I'm a little jealous of the shake and go girls:: I know my hair, I love my hair and I don't want anybody else's hair.
O and Cody doesn't rock the braids anymore (it's for the best).

 

[AtlantaJJ]

CG,I have been here 5.5 years and my hair is cotton. It does not shine. It has flyaways which believe it or not I love, because not only are they soft like fur, they look that way. Maybe I could get some shine if I used coconut oil. But I love having nothing in my hair. My twists look neat only because of my twisting method but they are not shiny. I think you feel sad because you are comparing your hair with hair that is of a different texture from yours. You are not alone, Sweetie, with hair like that. But those things are what makes it beautiful in its own right. If shine is what you are after, I am sure there are products that can give a sheen. But don't aim for a certain look. Focus on your hair and aim to bring out its best. If you look only at your hair, you'll become like the prince possessed by love for only one. And you will not be able to appreciate anything else as much as you do the apple of your eye.

Nonie is so right....its taking me a minute but I am getting to this place. I have to stop looking at other folks pictures for a minute and just get to know my natural hair and what it likes, what it can do and can't do. The more I do that, the more I come to love my hair for what it is. I just want it to grow and be healthy. How it comes out is how it comes out I can work with that!

 

[CenteredGirl]

I was shocked too....

Ya'll need to quit. Thanks for boosting my confidence ladies!

 

[naturalgurl]

Ya'll need to quit. Thanks for boosting my confidence ladies!

No really, it went like this..."4bz(hmmm my type) Oh Woe is Me! (I can relate) CenteredGirl....WHAT?! Let me get in there!"

P.S. I have a package coming to you next week, you're such a sweetie!

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I guess we all want something that we don't have. It's normal. And perhaps, one day, you'll find something about your hair that absolutely makes you fall in love with it. It looks pretty to me in your avatar.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

No really, it went like this..."4bz(hmmm my type) Oh Woe is Me! (I can relate) CenteredGirl....WHAT?! Let me get in there!"

P.S. I have a package coming to you next week, you're such a sweetie!

See how sisters take care of each other!!!

 

[mscocoface]

CG hang in there. Remember this is a journey and you go through twists and turns, valleys and mountain tops.

Nonie and the others are right with the cotton top it specifically does not shine in the light, so to speak. It deflects more light than anything, there are many theories about why this is.

As a fellow cotton top I understand so I have done what the others suggest scoured every head on this board and others that have hair like mine to see what works and does not work as well as what looks good and to get an idea of how a product or hair style will work for me.

It has saved me some trauma and drama, but also I have learned to just love and accept what this cotton mass of wonderfulness will do and work with what I have.

Stay strong... Here are words I have learned and say repeatedly when dealing with and learning on this hair journey of mine.

ACCEPT, ADAPT and ADJUST!!!!!!! Usually I have to do this more with my mind than my hair!