ashamed of hair that's not even mine...

[SouthernStunner]

ok, gotcha.
i tried to think about this last night from a different pov. i cant say i fully understand the op but i guess if you have been wearing weave and relaxed hair for most of your life its going to take some time to get used to your own hair. but then that brings me back to my point of transitioning mentally. so i guess in a way i get her. the word choice is what i think shocked those of us who were offended.

Chebaby,

It takes great maturity to be able to see things from both sides. What I have enjoyed about reading this thread and your responses in particular is that in the start you were sooooooo against this thought process of the OP but now you are able to see her point of view and yet you are still able to stand your position. You are correct I think her choice of words were not the best but I guess she could not think of anyothers to describe her feelings.
Just when I considered dropping my membership a thread like this comes along and makes me go hummmmmmm free thinking at its best. An intelligent debate with a dash of sisterhood and understanding. She wants to stay natural and is reaching out for the courage and assistance in appreciating her natural texture.


Many Blessings,
SouthernStunner

 

[msa]

hell to the naw .Too militant and not accepting of the curl definers, texlaxers, relaxers, colourers, etc.

Hmmm. I've always felt that it's not that people on NP feel those things are unacceptable (because 90% of them have it in their fotkis and just don't talk about it on np)...it's the obsession with those things that's unacceptable.

 

[Kurlee]

Hmmm. I've always felt that it's not that people on NP feel those things are unacceptable (because 90% of them have it in their fotkis and just don't talk about it on np)...it's the obsession with those things that's unacceptable.

yea, I realized that I generalized about np. I use to read threads on nappturality wayyyyyyyyyy back and the `feel` it had back then was very...... but umm it's been years and I know it was only a few who would tear someone a new one if they asked certain questions, NOT EVERYONE. I dunno, I like the fact that on here, whether ur relaxed, bkt'd or whatever it is, you can be accepted for the most part, over there..... not so much.

 

[msa]

yea, I realized that I generalize. I use to read threads on nappturality wayyyyyyyyyy back and the `feel` it had back then was very...... but umm it's been years and I know it was only a few who would tear someone a new one if they asked certain questions, NOT EVERYONE. I dunno, I like the fact that on here, whether ur relaxed, bkt'd or whatever it is, you can be accepted for the most part, over there..... not so much.

That's true. And I think that's why a lot of people gravitate toward lhcf after being on np...because they don't want to be stoned for their hair choices.

But sometimes hanging out in a nappy bubble is nice and comfy because being here can really work a person's nerves.

 

[Kurlee]

ok, gotcha.
i tried to think about this last night from a different pov. i cant say i fully understand the op but i guess if you have been wearing weave and relaxed hair for most of your life its going to take some time to get used to your own hair. but then that brings me back to my point of transitioning mentally. so i guess in a way i get her. the word choice is what i think shocked those of us who were offended.

Wow chebaby, I was expecting to come back and see a response that wasn't too pleasant. Very mature of you to see it both ways and not cuss me out. The climate here has been a little HOT here lately. But yes, I agree with you. Transitioning, especially in adulthood, definitely takes some mental work as well. I just felt like I want to be nice, since back when I transitioned, I wasn;t used to my natural hair (relaxed from 12-20) and didn't know much about styling, etc. I stumbled across LHCF and asked questions and tried products and found my way and learned about my texture. Not to mention lots of people IRL were like erplexed when I BC'd. It was time of learning for me and if back then when I was trying to learn people were lashing out at me, who knows, maybe I would have gotten frustrated and slathered some affirm lye and called it a day. I realize now, in retrospect how much I have learned since then and sometimes people just need time to adjust and get used to the change, because honestly, it's something new.

 

[Kurlee]

That's true. And I think that's why a lot of people gravitate toward lhcf after being on np...because they don't want to be stoned for their hair choices.

But sometimes hanging out in a nappy bubble is nice and comfy because being here can really work a person's nerves.

 

[LoveisYou]

Guys, her confidence has to come in her own time. Not all women are lovers of big natural hair. She is working on it.

Thanks so much, it's a process. I'm definitely not where I was, but I'm still going through the process.