Fall in Love with YOUR Natural Hair

[Ediese]

I love my natural hair. I love the way it looks in twists/twist outs, I love my wash and gos and puffs. (can you tell I'm style challenged? ) I can appreciate someone else's natural hair and still love mine. When I went natural I had an advantage. I knew what my hair looked like before I BC'd and I already loved my hair. I do feel weird when people tell me that they would go natural if they had my hair type. I mean I try and encourage them to do it anyway but when you believe that your hair is inherently bad... well

See, I've received messages like that before, and I feel really bad. I usually thank the person for the nice compliment, of course. But I also have to let them know that whatever their texture, they need to also accept it as beautiful.

 

[Soliel185]

The amount of care and TLC that you put into the hair matters too. When I decided to transition again this is what I was expecting:

This was my hair in '05 after being natural for 2 yrs or so. I wore it in box braids w/o extensions the entire time, never DC'd, never used natural products or oils and this is what I got. I had no idea how to "style" it or anything. I figured I had little to no curl pattern so when I decided to go natural again I expected the same texture.

After I found LHCF and started transitioning I was DCing, doing treatments, learning about porosity I found out my hair actually looks like this:

This is only 20 months of growth - which means that top picture had 4-10 months more growth than this one. I was really shocked to even find that my hair had curls or waves or anything so this really showed me how different the same head of hair can look depending on the kind of care it receives.

By many people's opinion I don't have "good" hair, but I love it and will continue to love it no matter what it evolves into.

 

[LadyRaider]

I have yet to see a natural texture I don't like.

I just would like to SEE mine. I don't remember what it is. That's kind of sad to me.

If I don't like it, I can always relax once more.

 

[LadyRaider]

The amount of care and TLC that you put into the hair matters too. When I decided to transition again this is what I was expecting:

After I found LHCF and started transitioning I was DCing, doing treatments, learning about porosity I found out my hair actually looks like this:

By many people's opinion I don't have "good" hair, but I love it and will continue to love it no matter what it evolves into.

This is what I figured. That everyone's hair looks good because they know how to work with their hair. It's not "good hair" it's "good hair care."

 

[Morenita]

Quick question: Must I BC to see my natural hair? I've gone up to a year without texlaxing, but never cut. I would like to see it, but I want to cut gradually. Some parts are 6" new growth and 6" texlaxed. All of it looked about the same (texlaxed vs. natural) to me, but the new growth felt better. This was before I BKT'd. When I first joined, I was told I had 4a hair, but I don't know how that was determined if you have to BC to see. I don't see any 4a hair twins when I look at fotkis, either.

ETA: I cut a chunk of the processed ends off, but it was still wavy with no real curl. Is there an Afro-wave type?

I don't think it's so much that the relaxed hair "stretches" the natural hair out so much as it just doesn't let the ends coil which definitely gives your hair a drastically different appearance. When your hair grows out, it won't be stretched any moreso than it was with the relaxed ends... That said though, I should throw in a disclaimer that your texture may appear more elongated if you grow it long, since it will be heavier and more weighed down.

However, in my experience, you're not going to chop and find out that you have type 1 hair w/o some kind of preview... you can get a really good idea about your natural texture with say 4 inches of new growth, but keep in mind that it will act much more differently when/if you do take off the relaxed ends. For me, my hair looked like waves (I knew it wasn't wavy :0) because the ends weren't allowed to coil, and as soon as I snipped, that hair sprang right up and coiled into a bunch of little corkscrews.

The other part is that how many women in the 4s actually wear their natural hair with pride and confidence (and unlocked)? Maybe if women had more inspirations to look at, they'd feel more comfortable being natural. But since that hair is the one that is most hated, it is the first to be altered, changed to fit a different mold, someone else's perception of what beautiful is. Again, can we blame them? We are creatures of habit and influence. If all we've ever been exposed to is "Your hair is so nappy, ugh" or "When are you going to DO something to your hair?" or "You NEED a perm", at what point does someone become convinced that her hair is beautiful as it is?

This couldn't be more true... we need more examples of our diversity! I never really considered going natural until my cousin did and my transitioning attempts were a disaster before I found LHCF. Then once I B/C'ed, it took a couple more months for me to make the "mental transition" and prepare myself for the unintended (or maybe for some, not so unintended) political statement that follows a b/c.... It wasn't about me trying to be afro-centric or anything like that, but just that I wanted healthier hair and my independence at the same time. It took a while for me to get over the fact that people may see me with a 'fro and have negative connotations Now, I honestly don't care and I love my hair, even the weird frizz at the crown

I've never had a relaxer, but I still didn't love my own texture until recently. I've since learned what my hair likes and I've stopped fighting what it does naturally. I realize now, that I wouldn't want anyone else's texture, on either side of the spectrum.

Oh...Em...Gee... YOUR HAIR IS GORGEOUS!! I've been away too long, I keep finding these gorgeous heads that I have never noticed before!

You're right. It is much easier said than done because just like lighter skin is glorified, so is looser textured hair. I'm just hoping that the day will come where it's all accepted as beautiful. I think that starts with us loving ourselves and our hair first.

I was going to post something like ^ this when the thread was on page 2 but I didn't want to catch backlash I get what you were trying to say with this thread Ediese, and as you say in this post though, it really boils down to a lot more deeply rooted cultural, political and historical issues than seemingly so on the surface. Maybe one day we'll get there. Hey, who would have ever predicted an african american president right?

 

[purplepeace79]

I'm sorry but you say that you are a type 3?

Most of my hair is 3C with a 4A patch. If you look at my fotki you will see it closer up.

ETA: Pics lol

Now, I could be TOTALLY off, but after asking a number of people on various cites, my hair was dubbed "3c/4a"

I dont know much about hairtyping because its all nappy to me, but if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me

 

[lexiwiththecurls]

I agree with the OP. I did a video on that awhile back-people are so worried about the next girl's hair and think their hair will look like the next. I have a friend who gets her hair relaxed and she has alopecia so I keep telling her, "your hair is falling out and you have a scalp condition, you should stop getting relaxers". When I mention she should go natural, all the relaxed girls look at me in disguist "Everyone doesn't have hair like you!". Umm my hair is sooo much work, gets super tangled and everything else. I want women to understand whatever texture they have is beautiful. I will admit, when I was younger and wanted to go natural- I was hoping my hair would be 3b..but once I grew up and got to college and actually transitioned I came to reality and knew it was going to be in the 4a/3c arena which is cool. I love my texture even though it takes alot of work lol. I admire all textures.

 

[BeetleBug]

Most of my hair is 3C with a 4A patch. If you look at my fotki you will see it closer up.

I actually did that before and I was still curious b/c your curl pattern seems tighter than mine and I identify as a 4a/b. Oh well, hair typing is confusing anyway.

 

[purplepeace79]

I actually did that before and I was still curious b/c your curl pattern seems tighter than mine and I identify as a 4a/b. Oh well, hair typing is confusing anyway.

Confuses me too. What I noticed my hair does is it forms s waves for most of the shaft, then coils tightly at the end. Its fine in strand, low in density. Whatever that translates into is my hair type. From others that I've compared to (there's that pesky comparing again), I have found mine is closest to those who identify as 3c/4a. Also, I use KCCC a LOT and find that it really tightens up my coils.

All I know for sure is that I wish it were thicker and coarser lol

 

[aegis]

sure you can TRY but most of the people who get "omg your texture is so nice. beautiful curls" are looser textured. it is what it is. someone hating their texture doesn't affect me really. we all have our crosses to bear. if you want yours to be your naps then so be it.

 

[jupitermoon]

Nice thread. Unfortunately, we live in a society that values certain traits over others. I've found the best way to be happy with myself (and my hair) is just not to compare myself to others, and it's hard... I no longer look for hair twins and try to do what's best for me and my hair. My hair is uniquely mine and can't be put into a box. I see beauty in all hair textures/types.

I'm not good at hair typing at all, but if we are typing based on curl size, then I think Purplepeace79 is a type 3c/4a mix just as described in her siggy. Her hair is highly textured and less silky though. Pretty hair.

 

[ashessehsa]

I guess you can say I'm "natural" by accident. I've got a chronic medical condition and the meds I take caused my hair to thin and fall out. I knew if I had any chance of saving what was left, chemicals were out of the question. I decided NO MORE CHEMICALS (unless I was gonna rinse/color). At first I hated it, but I'm loving my hair now that it's growing back. I'd rather have my 3c (almost) healthy head of hair than kill what's left with relaxers. Now, I feel like relaxed hair is overrated....I love my hair

 

[testimony777]

Nice thread. Unfotunately we live in a society that values certain traits over others. I've found the best way to be happy with myself (and my hair) is just not to compare myself to others, and it's hard... I no longer look for hair twins and try to do what's best for me and my hair. My hair is uniquely mine and can't be put into a box. I see beauty in all hair textures/types.

I'm not good at hair typing at all, but if we are typing based on curl size, then I think Purplepeace79 is a type 3c/4a mix just as described in her siggy. Her hair is highly textured and less silky though. Pretty hair.

Totally off topic (sorry OP) but I think we are hair twins. I can't wait till I get to your length; absolutely stunning

 

[LadyRaider]

I thought the number was the curl type and the letter was the texture (fine, medium, coarse.)

In that case however, a 4a would be very different from a 3c.

 

[BeetleBug]

Most of my hair is 3C with a 4A patch. If you look at my fotki you will see it closer up.

ETA: Pics lol

Now, I could be TOTALLY off, but after asking a number of people on various cites, my hair was dubbed "3c/4a"

I dont know much about hairtyping because its all nappy to me, but if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me

See, I would call that 4a based upon curl size. Everything is so confusing. You hair reminds me of hers: http://public.fotki.com/JV97/2008-hair/allpulledback.html.

 

[purplepeace79]

I think this convo on my hair "type" proves a very valid point. In the end, who cares? Hell, I'll call me hair 4z if it encourages other women to identify with it and stop relaxing. It is our hair, the way God made us, and we just need to love it, be proud of it, and let it be what it is.

When people say they would be natural if they have my hair "Type", I say, "Do you even know what your hair looks like?" Most people do not. And that is the core of the problem.

For me, if you know and love your natural hair, but choose to relax, that is a personal decision... a style choice.

But if you feel you NEED to relax your hair because you dont like your natural hair, that is a problem.

They are called "relaxers" as if our hair needs to "relax" or be "tamed". So what does that say? That our hair is wild or crazy and needs to calm down? Word? Because I would never think anything on my body needs to be tamed (except my ridiculously large behind lol). And that notion feeds into the centuries-old idea that Africans and their descendants are some type of wild animals that need to be "tamed". Stop the madness.

I think if people REALLY think about it, they will begin to see things differently and change their thinking. But at the end of the day, not many people are willing to admit that they "relax" their hair for reasons far deeper than just a style choice. People want to brush it off, but seriously, its more than that.

Yes, it takes work. It takes changing one's entire mindset and learning new ways of doing things. But, in my opinion, it is more than worth it.

 

[Morenita]

I agree with the OP. I did a video on that awhile back-people are so worried about the next girl's hair and think their hair will look like the next. I have a friend who gets her hair relaxed and she has alopecia so I keep telling her, "your hair is falling out and you have a scalp condition, you should stop getting relaxers". When I mention she should go natural, all the relaxed girls look at me in disguist "Everyone doesn't have hair like you!". Umm my hair is sooo much work, gets super tangled and everything else. I want women to understand whatever texture they have is beautiful. I will admit, when I was younger and wanted to go natural- I was hoping my hair would be 3b..but once I grew up and got to college and actually transitioned I came to reality and knew it was going to be in the 4a/3c arena which is cool. I love my texture even though it takes alot of work lol. I admire all textures.

Ooo, Lexi! I didn't realize you joined LHCF. I heart your hair and vids

 

[kittykhat]

I believe that's easier for people to say with type 3c or above. Everytime I see a thread like this, the OP always has 3c or above type hair. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but who doesn't want hair that is easier to manage? I also know that some people with 4a, b,c,z hair love their texture also. I just know that it's easier said then done. BTW, does anyonw know when you can see your true texture when transitioning?

 

[BeetleBug]

I believe that's easier for people to say with type 3c or above. Everytime I see a thread like this, the OP always has 3c or above type hair. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but who doesn't want hair that is easier to manage? I also know that some people with 4a, b,c,z hair love their texture also. I just know that it's easier said then done. BTW, does anyonw know when you can see your true texture when transitioning?

6 months post should give you an idea

 

[Jewell]

I believe that's easier for people to say with type 3c or above. Everytime I see a thread like this, the OP always has 3c or above type hair. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but who doesn't want hair that is easier to manage? I also know that some people with 4a, b,c,z hair love their texture also. I just know that it's easier said then done. BTW, does anyonw know when you can see your true texture when transitioning?

I totally agree. Amen to that. I don't believe people would use relaxers or other permanent straightening methods if everyone had type 3, 2, or 1 hair. The issue is manageability, the ability to acheive the desired style with your individual hair type, and the ability to maintain the style (i.e., not having to restraighten with a flat iron repeatedly due to frizzing or coarseness). For a select few, the issue is trying to avoid being like God made their ethnicity to be (those who would rather wear their natural kinks and curls bone straight to be more European in appearance, because they think that's generally most desirable).

I happen to love my natural texture, but I was conditioned to rely on a relaxer for managing it, and heat (pressing combs) in the earlier days. Now I prefer health to anything, and wish to be natural again. That way I can be versatile and if I feel like rocking my hair in its natural state one day, I can...or I can flat-iron it the next.

 

[kittykhat]

6 months post should give you an idea

Oh ok. Thanks. I can't wait. Lol.

 

[kittykhat]

I totally agree. Amen to that. I don't believe people would use relaxers or other permanent straightening methods if everyone had type 3, 2, or 1 hair. The issue is manageability, the ability to acheive the desired style with your individual hair type, and the ability to maintain the style (i.e., not having to restraighten with a flat iron repeatedly due to frizzing or coarseness). For a select few, the issue is trying to avoid being like God made their ethnicity to be (those who would rather wear their natural kinks and curls bone straight to be more European in appearance, because they think that's generally most desirable).

I happen to love my natural texture, but I was conditioned to rely on a relaxer for managing it, and heat (pressing combs) in the earlier days. Now I prefer health to anything, and wish to be natural again. That way I can be versatile and if I feel like rocking my hair in its natural state one day, I can...or I can flat-iron it the next.

Yeah. The longest I've gone without a relaxer was 2 months. So right about now I would be relaxing. But I'm just so tired of the chemicals that I don't care what hair type I am. Lol. It was just too much clock work for me. And it didn't matter if I had a relaxer. People didn't think I had one! That's why I'm transitioning too.

 

[Jewell]

I think this convo on my hair "type" proves a very valid point. In the end, who cares? Hell, I'll call me hair 4z if it encourages other women to identify with it and stop relaxing. It is our hair, the way God made us, and we just need to love it, be proud of it, and let it be what it is.

When people say they would be natural if they have my hair "Type", I say, "Do you even know what your hair looks like?" Most people do not. And that is the core of the problem.

For me, if you know and love your natural hair, but choose to relax, that is a personal decision... a style choice.

But if you feel you NEED to relax your hair because you dont like your natural hair, that is a problem.

They are called "relaxers" as if our hair needs to "relax" or be "tamed". So what does that say? That our hair is wild or crazy and needs to calm down? Word? Because I would never think anything on my body needs to be tamed (except my ridiculously large behind lol). And that notion feeds into the centuries-old idea that Africans and their descendants are some type of wild animals that need to be "tamed". Stop the madness.

I think if people REALLY think about it, they will begin to see things differently and change their thinking. But at the end of the day, not many people are willing to admit that they "relax" their hair for reasons far deeper than just a style choice. People want to brush it off, but seriously, its more than that.
Yes, it takes work. It takes changing one's entire mindset and learning new ways of doing things. But, in my opinion, it is more than worth it.

Thank you for saying that. I have some issues with my mother and sisters looking at me stupid because I wanted to go natural years ago, did go natural, and am transitioning again. My mother would ask questions like, "Well what are you gonna do with it when it is natural?" Or she'd say things like, "Well, to me, an outfit isn't complete unless your hair is 'done.' I don't think many women look 'put together' with their hair natural." I wanted to tell her how ignorant she is and sounds, but out of respect, I didn't. I was outraged. What does a freakin' outfit have to do with someone looking put together because of their hair? I mean, your statement about people not being willing to admit that they relax for reasons far deeper than style and convenience puts a giant red arrow over her head.

(Looking at me you might think that my mother is Vanessa Williams' complexion, but she is more like Taye Diggs' complexion with type 4a/b hair (from what I can tell from old 70's fro pics). I only say that because some might think from reading this that she probably has that "light-skinned girls syndrome" (where she may be more inclined to prefer European features due to ancestry)). Seems like aside from my man being Caucasian I'm more appreciative and embracing of my AFRAM culture than she is, and we "look" hardly anyting alike except for a few facial features.

I try to stay away from people like that who have silly, ignorant mindsets, and I frankly limit my conversations with them...you can't get through because they are set in their ways once they get to be that age (nearly 50) most of the time. I just roll my eyes, shake my head, and go on about my business. I don't even talk to my mother much because of her ULTRA CONSERVATIVE views on everything from politics to hair. I am truly the black sheep in my family because I have tattoos, piercings, will date any man no matter what his ethnicity or nationality (as long as he is a good fit for me, I don't discriminate), choose to embrace other nationalities and love learning about other cultures, and change my hair style more than once a year. Its very sad, but true.

She even told me once that I shouldn't change my hairstyle too much because a bank I was interviewing for might not keep me once they hired me. Might I add that changing my hair style "too much" was 3 different styles in a month. WTF? And, where the F*** did I come from since my views and attitudes are so different? I must be my paternal aunt's child, because that's the only person I am remotely similar to in my views in my entire family. I hate that I can't agree with 90% of my mothers' views, but oh well.

 

[Jewell]

Yeah. The longest I've gone without a relaxer was 2 months. So right about now I would be relaxing. But I'm just so tired of the chemicals that I don't care what hair type I am. Lol. It was just too much clock work for me. And it didn't matter if I had a relaxer. People didn't think I has one! That's why I'm transitioning too.

Same here!! The longest I would typically go was 8-10 weeks. This is my second transition. I did a texlax back after my daughter was born (had been natural for about 5 mos) only for convenience. Since then, I touched up my texlaxer twice (once every 6 mos, and the original virgin application to my natural hair was a year ago). Now I'm 4 mos into my transition, and this time I plan to stay natural!

 

[Theresamonet]

I believe that's easier for people to say with type 3c or above. Everytime I see a thread like this, the OP always has 3c or above type hair. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but who doesn't want hair that is easier to manage? I also know that some people with 4a, b,c,z hair love their texture also. I just know that it's easier said then done. BTW, does anyonw know when you can see your true texture when transitioning?

I was just getting ready to point this out...I love my 4a--possibly 4a/b hair, but I do believe that if I had 3c or below hair I may not have to detangle every 3.5 seconds . For some people being a natural 4 would not fit into their schedule or lifestyle the way it would if they were say 3a/b. Like someone said above when people go natural it is not always for some profoundly noble reason. They may just want to look cute, however they think cute looks. It just so happens that I was inspired to go natural by women with 4 type hair, so I grew to love it before I was faced with having it myself.

 

[Ediese]

I believe that's easier for people to say with type 3c or above. Everytime I see a thread like this, the OP always has 3c or above type hair. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but who doesn't want hair that is easier to manage? I also know that some people with 4a, b,c,z hair love their texture also. I just know that it's easier said then done. BTW, does anyonw know when you can see your true texture when transitioning?

Um...my hair is not 3c or above. It's 4a and I also have trouble managing it sometimes. Although some on the web think that my hair could be considered 'good', people IRL think differently. I've had a friend tell me I have 'nappy hair that needs to be combed', so yes, I can relate.

 

[kittykhat]

Um...my hair is not 3c or above. It's 4a and I also have trouble managing it sometimes. Although some on the web think that my hair could be considered 'good', people IRL think differently. I've had a friend tell me I have 'nappy hair that needs to be combed', so yes, I can relate.

You don't look like a 4a to me...IDK.erplexed

 

[Theresamonet]

Um...my hair is not 3c or above. It's 4a and I also have trouble managing it sometimes. Although some on the web think that my hair could be considered 'good', people IRL think differently. I've had a friend tell me I have 'nappy hair that needs to be combed', so yes, I can relate.

Hhhmm I see... I just looked at your Natural Hair Pics and your hair actually looks very much like mine...Can I stalk your Fotki?:lovedrool:

 

[kittykhat]

Same here!! The longest I would typically go was 8-10 weeks. This is my second transition. I did a texlax back after my daughter was born (had been natural for about 5 mos) only for convenience. Since then, I touched up my texlaxer twice (once every 6 mos, and the original virgin application to my natural hair was a year ago). Now I'm 4 mos into my transition, and this time I plan to stay natural!

But now, since I haven't relaxed. I feel good. I can do this.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

I think this convo on my hair "type" proves a very valid point. In the end, who cares? Hell, I'll call me hair 4z if it encourages other women to identify with it and stop relaxing. It is our hair, the way God made us, and we just need to love it, be proud of it, and let it be what it is.

For me, if you know and love your natural hair, but choose to relax, that is a personal decision... a style choice.

But if you feel you NEED to relax your hair because you dont like your natural hair, that is a problem.

Yes, it takes work. It takes changing one's entire mindset and learning new ways of doing things. But, in my opinion, it is more than worth it.

I agree 100%.