Fall in Love with YOUR Natural Hair

[purplepeace79]

I totally agree. Amen to that. I don't believe people would use relaxers or other permanent straightening methods if everyone had type 3, 2, or 1 hair. The issue is manageability, the ability to acheive the desired style with your individual hair type, and the ability to maintain the style (i.e., not having to restraighten with a flat iron repeatedly due to frizzing or coarseness). For a select few, the issue is trying to avoid being like God made their ethnicity to be (those who would rather wear their natural kinks and curls bone straight to be more European in appearance, because they think that's generally most desirable).

I happen to love my natural texture, but I was conditioned to rely on a relaxer for managing it, and heat (pressing combs) in the earlier days. Now I prefer health to anything, and wish to be natural again. That way I can be versatile and if I feel like rocking my hair in its natural state one day, I can...or I can flat-iron it the next.

Why is the desired style automatically presumed to be a straight one? Where'd we get that desire from?

And why do we assume natural hair isnt manageable? Most days, I barely touch my hair. If that isnt manageable, I dont know what is. Once you learn how to care for it, manageability isnt that big of a deal, IMO.

My desired styles are fat chunky twists and soft, thick cornrows. I can't get that with my hair. I'm not jonesing for straight hair in any way, feel me?

As for your idea that most people wouldn't use relaxers if everyone was 1, 2, or 3, I have to disagree to an extent. Just look at how many people with type 3 hair DO relax. It goes beyond having a certain hair type and manageability. determining the likelihood of relaxing. Little girls with type 3 hair are getting relaxers from their mothers who are imposing it upon them, for their OWN convenience/laziness/loathing, whatever. As you said, after that, who knows any better? I'm glad you recognize it for what it was- you being conditioned to rely on relaxers. At least you acknowledge that. Many women won't.

 

[kittykhat]

Why is the desired style automatically presumed to be a straight one? Where'd we get that desire from?

And why do we assume natural hair isnt manageable? Most days, I barely touch my hair. If that isnt manageable, I dont know what is. Once you learn how to care for it, manageability isnt that big of a deal, IMO.

My desired styles are fat chunky twists and soft, thick cornrows. I can't get that with my hair. I'm not jonesing for straight hair in any way, feel me?

As for your idea that most people wouldn't use relaxers if everyone was 1, 2, or 3, I have to disagree to an extent. Just look at how many people with type 3 hair DO relax. It goes beyond having a certain hair type and manageability. determining the likelihood of relaxing. Little girls with type 3 hair are getting relaxers from their mothers who are imposing it upon them, for their OWN convenience/laziness/loathing, whatever. As you said, after that, who knows any better? I'm glad you recognize it for what it was- you being conditioned to rely on relaxers. At least you acknowledge that. Many women won't.

In general, everyone knows that type 1 hair is easier to manage. And as you go higher in the numbers, majority of the time, it becomes more difficult. That's just a fact. For you, it's good. You can manage your hair. But type 4 hair is more difficult to manage then type 3, 2, or 1 hair.

 

[BeetleBug]

In general, everyone knows that type 1 hair is easier to manage. And as you go higher in the numbers, majority of the time, it becomes more difficult. That's just a fact. For you, it's good. You can manage your hair. But type 4 hair is more difficult to manage then type 3, 2, or 1 hair.

I'm a 4 and I find my hair very easy to manage. My natural hair is far more easier to manage than my relaxed hair. I guess it's up to the individual.

 

[kittykhat]

I'm a 4 and I find my hair very easy to manage. My natural hair is far more easier to manage than my relaxed hair. I guess it's up to the individual.

Yes. That's why I said most and in general. If all type 4s were that easy to manage, most black women (with 4a,b,c,z) won't relax for managability.

 

[purplepeace79]

In general, everyone knows that type 1 hair is easier to manage. And as you go higher in the numbers, majority of the time, it becomes more difficult. That's just a fact. For you, it's good. You can manage your hair. But type 4 hair is more difficult to manage then type 3, 2, or 1 hair.

I agree that more work goes into it. But they have complaints too. So many wish their hair was thicker, wavier, curlier, etc.

But again, what is manageability? I cornrow my stepdaughter's hair every 2 weeks. Her hair gets done twice a month. Can someone honestly say thats harder to manage than someone with type 1 washing, conditioning, and blowdrying every day or every other day? Or someone with type 2 who washes, conditions, adds gel, mousse, dries with a diffuser daily?

I think the reason "manageability" becomes hard is because we spend so much time trying to make our hair do things it wont naturally do. You can read about many naturals who don't comb or brush their hair, who only finger comb, who only wash every other week, who wear puffs and ponytails every day, who wear braided protective styles, etc. They minimize their "manageability" issues when necessary. How? They learned their hair and how to work with it.

 

[BeetleBug]

I agree that more work goes into it. But they have complaints too. So many wish their hair was thicker, wavier, curlier, etc.

But again, what is manageability? I cornrow my stepdaughter's hair every 2 weeks. Her hair gets done twice a month. Can someone honestly say thats harder to manage than someone with type 1 washing, conditioning, and blowdrying every day or every other day? Or someone with type 2 who washes, conditions, adds gel, mousse, dries with a diffuser daily?

I think the reason "manageability" becomes hard is because we spend so much time trying to make our hair do things it wont naturally do. You can read about many naturals who don't comb or brush their hair, who only finger comb, who only wash every other week, who wear puffs and ponytails every day, who wear braided protective styles, etc. They minimize their "manageability" issues when necessary. How? They learned their hair and how to work with it.

I agree.

 

[purplepeace79]

Yes. That's why I said most and in general. If all type 4s were that easy to manage, most black women (with 4a,b,c,z) won't relax for managability.

I think the point is that many of us dont believe its truly just about manageability.

 

[kittykhat]

I agree that more work goes into it. But they have complaints too. So many wish their hair was thicker, wavier, curlier, etc.

But again, what is manageability? I cornrow my stepdaughter's hair every 2 weeks. Her hair gets done twice a month. Can someone honestly say thats harder to manage than someone with type 1 washing, conditioning, and blowdrying every day or every other day? Or someone with type 2 who washes, conditions, adds gel, mousse, dries with a diffuser daily?

I think the reason "manageability" becomes hard is because we spend so much time trying to make our hair do things it wont naturally do. You can read about many naturals who don't comb or brush their hair, who only finger comb, who only wash every other week, who wear puffs and ponytails every day, who wear braided protective styles, etc. They minimize their "manageability" issues when necessary. How? They learned their hair and how to work with it.

People with type 1 hair don't hair to blowdry and stuff everyday. Maybe washing because of oil. But other than that, they do it because they want to. Just like AA or AA like hair doesn't need chemicals. People just want to use them. Some for manageability (thatnks for pointing the spelling out, lol), others because they don't like their natural hair. I don't mean anything bad when I say that. But I still believe that type 4 hair and even type 3 hair can be a bit hard to manage than type 1 and 2. And type 3> 4.

 

[purplepeace79]

People with type 1 hair don't hair to blowdry and stuff everyday. Maybe washing because of oil. But other than that, they do it because they want to. Just like AA or AA like hair doesn't need chemicals. People just want to use them. Some for manageability (thatnks for pointing the spelling out, lol), others because they don't like their natural hair. I don't mean anything bad when I say that. But I still believe that type 4 hair and even type 3 hair can be a bit hard to manage than type 1 and 2. And type 3> 4.

Sorry I wasnt spell checking you lol I put " " because I think the word manageability is a cover for something else. Thats my personal view.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

Yes. That's why I said most and in general. If all type 4s were that easy to manage, most black women (with 4a,b,c,z) won't relax for managability.

That's the thing. As so many have already pointed out, I don't think we're relaxing our hair so much for manageability as for aesthetics. We have been trained to have a westernized mindset. It's ingrained in our psyche from the time we exit the womb. We pressed and greased our hair in an effort to resemble those in power. When my mother's generation went "back to their roots" in the late 60s-70s, that's when the afro re-imerged, along with the dashiki and african names. It was the "black IS beautiful" "black pride" movement. we were doing so well as a people...then the 80's hit, and all hell broke loose . The light-skin/loosely curled El Debarge/Vanity look came to power, and folks started getting relaxed and Jheri-curled to death. The straighter your hair the better, and music videos/magazine didn't help the cause of afro-textured hair.

Now I think the tides are turning...we are edging back towards that movement again, and for some reason, I think having a black First Family is helping (and raising "black pride", thank goodness!). I see more and more of us saying no to relaxers. I discovered that I have two co-workers who are transitioning as well, that is 3 out of four in my office (we have become a resource to one another). I think that there just may become a time when naturals out-number the chemically enhanced. I am transitioning my household, so we can enjoy healthy, natural hair and all the versatility our natural hair brings.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I love and accept my hair for what it is. I wouldn't change my texture for anything.

 

[kittykhat]

Sorry I wasnt spell checking you lol I put " " because I think the word manageability is a cover for something else. Thats my personal view.

Lol. It's just one of those days when I can't spell.

 

[kittykhat]

I love and accept my hair for what it is. I wouldn't change my texture for anything.

Me too. Even though I don't know my texture yet. Lol.

 

[princessnad]

Yes. That's why I said most and in general. If all type 4s were that easy to manage, most black women (with 4a,b,c,z) won't relax for managability.

Is that why most back women with 4a,b, c, z relax?

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

That's the thing. As so many have already pointed out, I don't think we're relaxing our hair so much for manageability as for aesthetics. We have been trained to have a westernized mindset. It's ingrained in our psyche from the time we exit the womb. We pressed and greased our hair in an effort to resemble those in power. When my mother's generation went "back to their roots" in the late 60s-70s, that's when the afro re-imerged, along with the dashiki and african names. It was the "black IS beautiful" "black pride" movement. we were doing so well as a people...then the 80's hit, and all hell broke loose . The light-skin/loosely curled El Debarge/Vanity look came to power, and folks started getting relaxed and Jheri-curled to death. The straighter your hair the better, and music videos/magazine didn't help the cause of afro-textured hair.

Now I think the tides are turning...we are edging back towards that movement again, and for some reason, I think having a black First Family is helping (and raising "black pride", thank goodness!). I see more and more of us saying no to relaxers. I discovered that I have two co-workers who are transitioning as well, that is 3 out of four in my office (we have become a resource to one another). I think that there just may become a time when naturals out-number the chemically enhanced. I am transitioning my household, so we can enjoy healthy, natural hair and all the versatility our natural hair brings.

yes, I quoted myself.

 

[kittykhat]

Is that why most back women with 4a,b, c, z relax?

I believe so.

 

[doll-baby]

Honestly I never considered going natural before, not after seeing 3 something hair or 4 something hair. To me going natural was not an option because my texture is very course, dry and has no curl / wave definition. I definitely identified with the illusive c-napp .
However recently I have started sprouting coils as new growth (10 weeks post), they are small springy coils that I have never had before. I am stretching to 14 weeks ( normally I cave in at 9) to get a better view of this new texture. Maybe I'll become a long term stretcher or transition, but I am beginning to like my natural texture.

 

[Ms_Twana]

That was my mentality when I went natural

I see beauty in all textures, but I also love my own!

What chou said!!!

I remember PMing so1913 telling her I can't wait until I was natural so I could wear my hair like her. She VERY politely told me that my hair may not be the same texture as hers. She probably doesn't even remember that. I started a thread about how worried I was that I wouldn't like my natural hair and how I wondered if it would be like it was when I was a kid. BOY did the ladies wear me out!!! And I'm glad they did.

I have since relaxed again. But for 2.5 years I did get to know my natural 4a (according to Andre's system) hair, that is NOTHING like so1913's. I learned to just work with what I got.

But I also LOVE the look of bigger curls and silky looking hair (usually the 3's). And I wished SEVERAL TIMES (still do) that my hair wasn't so darn thick. This thickness is what contributed to my relaxer again. That doesn't mean I wasn't happy with what God gave me or that I favored someone else's hair over mine. I think it's perfectly fine if you admire someone else's hair or hair type, AS LONG AS you are proud of what's on your head as well.

 

[anon123]

Are any other 4bs kind of . . . when people note how their hair looked cottony and not very curly when they weren't taking care of it, but when they started taking care of it it started to look more "curly"? No offense to anyone who has said that.

 

[doll-baby]

Is that why most back women with 4a,b, c, z relax?

For me yes, definitely If I could "manage" my natural texture without the pain (literally) of detangling I probably would not relax.

 

[Southernbella.]

In general, everyone knows that type 1 hair is easier to manage. And as you go higher in the numbers, majority of the time, it becomes more difficult. That's just a fact. For you, it's good. You can manage your hair. But type 4 hair is more difficult to manage then type 3, 2, or 1 hair.

It's not a fact. It's a fact for you, but not for me.

My natural hair is about the same as my relaxed hair was as far as manageability goes, so that's a wash. The only issues that mean anything to me are aesthetics and my feelings about my natural hair.

 

[Southernbella.]

Are any other 4bs kind of . . . when people note how their hair looked cottony and not very curly when they weren't taking care of it, but when they started taking care of it it started to look more "curly"? No offense to anyone who has said that.

I kind of wince when I read that, even though I know they don't mean anything by it.

 

[LoveisYou]

The Op's hair look like 4a to me.

As someone who went natural, relaxed and is now natural again, I want to add that I honestly think a lot of 4a/b hair would look better and healthier if people started accepting their texture and stop trying to force their hair to do things it wasn't meant to do.

For example, concentrate on moisture instead of trying to force your curls to pop. My hair started to look and feel dry, because I was using a bunch of gels and other products to make it look the way I thought it should look instead of accepting my natural texture. This time around I make sure my hair is moisturized and conditioned, forcing my "curls to pop" on my kinky hair is not a priority anymore. As a result, my hair looks and feels much better than before.

 

[kittykhat]

yes, I quoted myself.

I agree with you. I don't think it's all about manageability either. I thought I typed that. Lol. I think it's more about being accepted too.

 

[dynamic1]

You don't look like a 4a to me...IDK.erplexed

Many still look for a prototype or assume uniformity within the group (not directed at you Kittykhat). However, there are ranges within each category. It is just a basic place to start and that is all. If you were to divide people into height classes (short, medium, tall) or weight classes (small, medium, large), there would be varying heights and weights in each class.

The most confusing thing about hair typing I noticed was people kicked out of categories and new groups formed. This seemed to stem from projection, insecurity, one-upmanship and how can I be down (but that is another topic). When Andre started this madness, Cleo Laine and Cree Summer were in the 3b category and the category was rather large. However, if they came to the hair board and asked what their type was, I guarantee many would respond 3c or even 4a. If Cree showed that afro pic from her album, they would say 4b. The 4a/b types saw hair like Cree's coming and now we have 4c, cnapp and more to follow I am sure.

I prefer the LOIS system but for general purposes, I will call it all fro hair. Everyone from 3b/3c/4a/4c/cnapp can make a fro.

Back on topic - I too find beauty in all hair textures and I appreciate my hair.

 

[blksndrlla]

Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.

Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a row. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.

So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.

This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...

I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.

*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*

 

[Stepiphanie]

I can definitely see where some people can perceive type 3s as being "prettier" or more manageable, but actually transitioning just in hopes to achieve that same look is a bit silly.(Not being judgemental b/c trust me in the past I had wish for looser curls at some point.)Since many of us have no clue what our natural hair looks like, I think it's important to go into transitioning with an open mind and be willing to accept YOUR hair, regardless of texture, as a part of the true you. Not saying that if in the end you decide 'hey this is not for me' you can't just go back to relaxing, but if you start off with unrealistic expectations, then chances are you will be dissapointed. I'm not completely sure of my hair type, but I'm also not dilusional..I remember breaking quite a few combs in my day. I think there are many ladies here on all sides of the 4 family that have shown that our hair type can be "managed" just fine. So I'm confident that when I am fully natural that their will be plenty of "pretty" and "manageable" styles that I will be able to do with MY hair.

 

[Mook's hair]

I noticed that a while ago too. I also try to warn ladies against longing for the hair on celebrities heads. Which often isn't natural and we don't know that they are actually texlaxed or texturized.

If you decide to go natural. Don't covet others hair, embrace your own. It's all gorgeous!

 

[purplepeace79]

Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.

Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a rown. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.

So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.

This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...

I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.

*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*

I have one word:

Mwedzi

Carry on...

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Double Post