A Very Confused Natural

[ArtsyCurls]

Hi! I should start off by introducing myself I guess. I have had this account since 2007 but I have just recently begun to push myself out of the habit of lurking.( BTW you all have gorgeous hair) I just need to say that LHCF has been info overload for me. I know what I want out of my hair but no idea where to start.

1. I am natural. I am have BC'd twice, and relaxed once in between.
- I am style challenged, I can only do twists that end in gorilla warfare inducing detangling sessions
- No matter what I use, I feel like my hair is dry.
-A good leave in seems impossible for me to find.

2. I love my curls! But only when I especially want curly hair. I have mastered the artsycurls twist out/wash and go!( For the most part)

3. I want to wear my hair straight most of the time without burning it our or relaxing it into a thin mess. Or losing my curl pattern.
- But I sweat if the sun looks at me sideways, and unless I have been doing it wrong, heat hates me.

Here is the thing I'm way confused about:

Is there a way that I can wear my natural hair straight mostly, without killing it or me? And doesn't take 6 hours every two weeks to accomplish? Help? I feel like I have knowledge flowing from everywhere with none that pertains to my sitch. ( BTW, I am a 4a/b and I am at neck length, with lots of splits and minimal breakage that I'm sure are from the splits)

 

[SEMO]

I wear my hair curly 99% of the time, so I don't really have any expert advice. Just wanted to welcome you out of lurkdom.

But regardless of my not being qualified, here are some things I've found to work for me:

- Rollersets. I can't rollerset my hair straight, but I find that it can stretch my hair out while it air dries and that it seems to be easier to straighten from there.
- New blow dryer. When I don't have time for (or don't feel like) rollersets, I found that a hatchet-style dryer with comb attachment works well to start the straightening process, and is much easier for me to handle (over a traditional hair dryer).
- New flat iron. I had been using a CHI flat iron that worked okay, but when I switched to an ionic ceramic tourmaline flat iron (by Sedu), the straightening process become much easier and quicker for me.
- Patience. I realized that for me, it's just going to be a time commitment to straighten my hair (much of it due to the length). To properly straighten it, without turning the iron up too high, requires for me to be patient and to take properly small pieces.
- No water-based moisturizers. I figured out things to use of my flat-ironed hair that water-based and wouldn't revert my hair. For me, that was Proclaim olive glosser and One n' Only Argan oil.

I don't straighten my hair often and am definitely style-challenged. But I am getting better at it, esp. with the tips above. Also, I really liked this video, where a stylist (with natural hair) demonstrates good flat iron technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G0xJo1hv1c

Hope all this helps.

 

[HighAspirations]

Honestly? I recommend a trim, then a lace front or half wig with your edges out until you get more length. Also your hair might be dry so weekly dc treatments might be in order. Read your conditioners. Some are secretly protein heavy. And find a good heat protection. If your hair frizzes in the sun. Take it as a sign. Hot months aren't always good for straight hair. It's pointles
Wait until it cools down and until then look up YouTube tutorials on low manipulation and protective styles. Your going to need them anyway. HTH HHJ

 

[ArtsyCurls]

Hi Semo! I definitely need a new flat iron, blow dryer and some patience. Thank you! I will check out the video. And your hair is gorgeous!

 

[Nonie]

This may not be what you want to hear but if you have splits, holding onto them isn't going to do you any good. If you don't cut them off, they will break off. And if they break off on their own, they will do so in a rugged way that continues the damage of your strands and you may find you will be stuck at NL forever. Honestly getting rid of damage is the first step to being able to go beyond a length you're stuck at.

Now I don't know how you twist, but if you start off with hair that is stretched out (braid stretched out) and you twirl each strand before twisting it around the other, you will find that not only will you end up with very neat twists, but you can wash them so many times and have them in for so long and they will still look OK. (These twists were 4 weeks old and had been washed 8 times) And when you undo them, they will be this easy to undo.

If you do your twists like I suggest, you can wash your hair from shampooing to conditioning to final rinse in less than 10 minutes. Because you don't have to comb/detangle. You just shampoo. Rinse. Condition. Rinse. Done.

When you straighten your hair, if you use a serum heat protectant and apply it carefully to small sections at a time, you hair will not revert. BTW, I've found applying a serum to damp hair gives very smooth soft hair.

Anyway, my suggestion for getting soft, fun, easy to manage 4B hair is found in this thread.

 

[ArtsyCurls]

High, hi! You are right about straight hair in summer months. For me, it equals afro. I don't recall what my relaxed hair does while straightened in the summer, but natural is a no go. I am going to make my way to my friends stylist for a trim soon, but you know "trims" turn out to be cuts. Lace fronts scare me, but I will take your suggestion and look into it. Thank you! I really appreciate the reply!

 

[ArtsyCurls]

Hello Nonie! Thank you for your help! Your twisting method doesn't lead to matting or SSK's? They are my worst enemy! And yes, I have accepted the fact that I HAVE to get a trim to continue my HHJ, I just..have been putting it off.

 

[BadMamaJama]

I don't think you can wear your hair straight most of the time and not get heat damage. Most of the people I know who wear their hair straight just call it heat trained and call it a day.
I'd also suggest a half wig to grow your hair for a bit after you get it trimmed and then you can decide how you want to wear it.

 

[ArtsyCurls]

BadMamaJama, I think you are right about heat damage. I'm mostly ok with it, if all it will be is a slight loss of curl. I'm fine with that, but I don't want to kill it. How would I let it grow with a half wig? * runs to google*

 

[Nonie]

Hello Nonie! Thank you for your help! Your twisting method doesn't lead to matting or SSK's? They are my worst enemy! And yes, I have accepted the fact that I HAVE to get a trim to continue my HHJ, I just..have been putting it off.

ArtsyCurls (BTW, if you type @ immediately before someone's name, they get an alert that you said something to them so they can get back to you sooner...or at all, if they were not planning to return to your thread).

No I do not SSKs and tangles. I have only had to detangle my hair ONCE since 2003...and that was one time when I went to bed w/o braiding or twisting my hair. I don't use product on my hair when I twist and that time I'd worn a twist-out on bare hair and went to bed w/ it loose.

My twists are so easy to work with, especially after I wash them. You can see in this image how easily they unravel and separate:

That twisting method serves two purposes:

• it stretches your strands so that they go into the twists in a stretched out state;
• the twisting means the strands from one strand do not mingle/tangle with those in the other strand but are kept sepIarate.

That's why it's so easy to undo. In the video belwo you can see me finger-combing which to mean means separating strand by strand...after I undid a twist. I only finger-comb when working on on one twist at a time. I do it to remove shed hair then retwist. I usually do this while watching TV. My hair had no product but notice how the strands pull away from the others with ease. No knotting up or anything.

Now, I have to tell you that if I try to work on my twist with product in (like S Curl), my hair threatens to knot up. iluvmuhgrass once started a thread asking if products had anything to do with SSKs. For me it seems they do. As long as I braid/twist bare hair, I can undo and redo w/o any knots/tangles. Now when wearing my hair out, I do use S Curl and I do plait BIG plaits with it on. For those, I don't seem to have trouble. But if I try to workon small twists w/ S Curl ...it's like the strands wanna stick together and make out. Go figure.

 

[HighAspirations]

High, hi! You are right about straight hair in summer months. For me, it equals afro. I don't recall what my relaxed hair does while straightened in the summer, but natural is a no go. I am going to make my way to my friends stylist for a trim soon, but you know "trims" turn out to be cuts. Lace fronts scare me, but I will take your suggestion and look into it. Thank you! I really appreciate the reply!

I will admit the idea of wearing wigs scares me too haha

 

[PinkSunshine77]

Hello!

1. Trim those split ends. They will hold you back from retaining length. Witness over here.

2. If you want your natural hair straight majority of the time, a blow dryer or flat iron on the regular is the only way.

3. Heat is horrible over time if you're using it excessively. Some ladies can get away with doing it bi-weekly. Some ladies can't even do it once a month due to fine strands. You have to examine and watch your hair to see what it can stand. Heat damage will permanently rid your curls until you either grow it out or cut it off.

4. I see this a lot and I'm going to tell you. Hair is going to revert in heat and humidity. Even Type 1 hair reverts in humidity. There is absolutely no way hair is going to stay 100% straight in the heat and humidity period. Your best bet is to flat iron or straighten on a cool week. This is what I do but then again, I rarely flat iron as my hair cannot take too much heat on it.

 

[DarkJoy]

I straighten every so often, maybe 2x a month. I have no problems with it, but I use very low heat (150o flat iron) on my fine hair, just enough to avoid SSKs for certain styles. There's a support thread for naturals who straighten.

There are some heat protectant serums that keep reversion from happening for a while like Nonie said. The one I use is Mixed Chicks Straightening Serum. I only get maybe 4-7 days but since I use such low heat, it's more than I expected.

I've heard of Aveda here in passing. It's an anti-reversion pomade. I haven't tried it yet so can't give an opinion, though it's on my list of things to try for our rainy season here. Expensive stuff--but worth it if it works.

Best tip I can give (besides snipping those ends), is to get a flat iron or plug-in hot comb with a digit temp reader. You will have to experiment to figure out what is too hot for YOUR hair. I can smell burnt hair at 250oF. Others can take up to 450. Either collect your clean shed hair and/or use tiny pieces in the back and test at diff temps to see what yours can take.

Good luck!

 

[DarkJoy]

oops! 2nd best tip--be sure you prep the hair by a good long moisturizing DC BEFORE a heat processing. If it feels straw-like or dry even after a DC (when you've blow dried), you might want to pass on using high heat for that week and maybe DC twice the coming week before direct heat. It would just make it worse and cause breaks

 

[ArtsyCurls]

PinkSunshine77 - I got the splits trimmed! I'm not 100% sure that they are gone, but I got it straightened so that I would easily notice them. I have been just snipping them off as I find them. I'm not sure how much or how often my hair can take heat, because the last time I called myself "heat training" I really was doing it all wrong and I messed up big time. I flat ironed often and with the wrong products. And I know that my hair reverts if I look at the sun, so tommorow I'm gonna buy a half wig and just braid it up beneath. Thank you for the tips!

DarkJoy That's really a wonderful idea about the shed hair thing ( BTW, i was so excited about my new trim and lack of breakage that I kept track of my shed hair. Sad I know. But there were only 8! Yay!) And I will look into good DC's for me. Do you know of any places that give samples? I'm so scared of buying more of the wrong things.

Nonie I have always used product on my twists just because I thought I should. I will give it a try when I decided that I want curly hair for a while, and I will also try your method! Thank you for also showing me about the "@" thing.

 

[DarkJoy]

@DarkJoy That's really a wonderful idea about the shed hair thing ( BTW, i was so excited about my new trim and lack of breakage that I kept track of my shed hair. Sad I know. But there were only 8! Yay!) And I will look into good DC's for me. Do you know of any places that give samples? I'm so scared of buying more of the wrong things.

ArtsyCurls, well 8 shed hairs is hardly anything to experiment on! That's excellent tho! Bet your hair is nice and thick!

For DC samples, you can always ask for free samples at the beauty supply store (BSS) counter--they ALWAYS have a few. Also at your BSS, Walgreens, CVS are those single use $2 packets in the hair section. You might even get lucky and find $2 sample packets of heat serums.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[DarkJoy]

BTW, I never found a leave-in that didn't dry me out. So I just don't use them anymore--even when I straighten. Now my hair is almost never dry, even when I use gel I can tell it's crispy, but after that wears off, the strands are still supple.

So, if you can't find one that works for you, not using one isn't a dealbreaker for your hair.