AA hairsytlist...what is the deal?

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Okay I have a ?...I know you shouldn't have to babysit a stylist...thus the point of going to one and paying one...but say that you aren't really trying to be a DIY when it comes to cutting/trimming and this is becoming more common...why not ask the stylist how much they plan on taking off? so you can see how much is going to go and if you don't like it you can then explaining to them that if it isn't the length that you desire they won't be getting paid...

My stylist back in Chicago would do just that...show you...he would turn me sideways in his chair and say I am cutting your hair to here and show with his hands how much he was cutting and if he was going to cut more he would also say so and turn you back around to show you again/why but he gave you the opportunity for input...and because his clients were also vocal...we go into the salons that stylist=friends/best hair interest type of mentality but they are in business...but bottom line what my money says goes...and if any stylist don't like it then I am up out of their char and will find another one that will...

Don't get me wrong I know your hair will grow out and the best with it but my mind is how does one go from bad cut to also receiving bad layers? an inch is one thing but we are talking inches!?! Do people not look on the floor at whats being cut or ask that they are turned around to face/sideview the mirror during the cut? I'm trying to wrap my head around this? I know shoulda woulda couldas....but there maybe should be a thread for tips of when you decide to go to a AA for a trim/cut what to look for in a scissor happy stylist? so that this doesn't get repeated...

Sometimes it pays for us to be proactive about things instead of being naive...since this is something that happens quite a bit

 

[teacherjess]

I think it depends on the situation. I have finally found someone (an AA stylist) who respects my wishes about achieving maximum hair health and adding length. She deep conditions, rollersets, and my hair is thriving. Her only drawback is she is always asking to trim my ends, but everytime she "trims" I end up with a cut. I go to JC Penney, and I also get charged for a cut that I didn't ask for...I asked for a trim. She can't be jealous of me because I have yet to achieve that long, luscious hair I see on this board! I'm just grazing SL!
I have been to some AA stylists in the past though who obviously have a problem with hair health/ length because it seems they are really happy to see me coming when I'm overprocessed, damaged, and with short hair. As soon as I would get it healthy again and begin gaining length, they would talk me into getting color (on top of a relaxer) or a short cut and I'd be right back at it again-- damaged and overprocessed. Later I woke up & realized they like getting me to come in more often and pay for these pricey services that were ravaging my hair. It was a vicious cycle that I was glad to finally stop.
In a nutshell though, I believe the jealousy factor is real with some of these people when a sista comes in with swangin, beautiful, full and long hair. That is sad.

 

[Bella_Atl]

Don't get me wrong I know your hair will grow out and the best with it but my mind is how does one go from bad cut to also receiving bad layers? an inch is one thing but we are talking inches!?! Do people not look on the floor at whats being cut or ask that they are turned around to face/sideview the mirror during the cut? I'm trying to wrap my head around this?

From my: My first setback..%^%$ Stylist!

"She cut the 1/4" and then went over the same area and cut more. It's hard for me to tell at first because I have layers. So when she is lifting and cuting layers I can't tell she's re-cutting the same layers. By the time I realize what's happening what am I to do. Be lopsided?"

Unfortunately I let her finished thinking I was just getting a shorter (2 1/2 to 3 ") cut than I wanted (which I could have lived with) until I got home and I saw I had a bad cut.. With some 4" of hair cut off for layers. When I looked on the floor I didn't see 4" cuts. Just a lof of small clippings which makes me think she messed up somewhere and was trying to "fix" it.

 

[jamaraa]

MrsAriannaAmbers Asking/telling how much to take off is no guarantee that they will stop there. I doubt many of the women who've been scalped didn't specify what THEY wanted, but once your back is turned This is a major trust issue.

Yes, people look on the floor, but then it's too late...the hair's gone!

Way too much emphasis in beauty schools seems to be on cutting hair, straight hair. When you put in a natural African texture, this gets VERY dicey given shrinkage issues which differ for each head. Shrinkage alone can cause a stylist to overshoot how much they cut, even in good faith. Shrinkage MUST be calculated in the dusting/cutting process, even on relaxed hair. African textures have shrinkage PERIOD! This is a major reason why so many women end up scalped...the stylists don't factor this in.

It's gotten so bad about cutting that there are a few salons that cater to long hair only (or those wanting to grow it). Generally those are WW focused salons. For BW, there's the "natuiral salon", but both of these institutions are a mere dream for many. There aren't many and can be 100s+ miles from you.

 

[MizAvalon]

I have never really bought the jealousy theory. I imagine that some are but I don't think that counts for the bulk of them.

I truly believe(and I started a thread on this years ago) that most stylists are simply incompetent. They learn whatever basic methods they have to, to squeak through school and they don't bother with continuing education.

I have never encountered another industry where clients complain about the practitioners so much. It's because the majority of them are average, AT BEST. That's why folks rave about great stylists, will travel great distances, and spend all kinds of money to see them, it's because they are so rare.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

I think it depends on the situation. I have finally found someone (an AA stylist) who respects my wishes about achieving maximum hair health and adding length. She deep conditions, rollersets, and my hair is thriving. Her only drawback is she is always asking to trim my ends, but everytime she "trims" I end up with a cut. I go to JC Penney, and I also get charged for a cut that I didn't ask for...I asked for a trim. She can't be jealous of me because I have yet to achieve that long, luscious hair I see on this board! I'm just grazing SL!
I have been to some AA stylists in the past though who obviously have a problem with hair health/ length because it seems they are really happy to see me coming when I'm overprocessed, damaged, and with short hair. As soon as I would get it healthy again and begin gaining length, they would talk me into getting color (on top of a relaxer) or a short cut and I'd be right back at it again-- damaged and overprocessed. Later I woke up & realized they like getting me to come in more often and pay for these pricey services that were ravaging my hair. It was a vicious cycle that I was glad to finally stop.
In a nutshell though, I believe the jealousy factor is real with some of these people when a sista comes in with swangin, beautiful, full and long hair. That is sad.

So how are we getting talked into anything when we know better we do better right? Thats what I want to get at...now that I know how to obtain healthy hair, start growing healthy hair and am upkeeping my healthy hair that when and if I walk into a salon I am going to get exactly what I pay for...just like when I am shopping I purchase something doesn't meet my expectations I am taking it back...however this can't be done with hair and there are no takebacks you get one shot and I want to know every last detail before you do anything because it only take minutes to destroy the work of years...

To give an example...I can't remember but someone had a so-so experience with an Aveda salon...she had pics and everything...and gave a detailed experience...I used what info she provided and had made myself an appointment and while I had the stylist on the phone because it also was a school I asked about utilizing different combs...and if I could bring my own and if they had any issues about me asking ?'s about their processes since I would be new to the Aveda salon...she said hell-no...its your hair we work for you...and she was AA very cool/chic and great attitude...so the thread the young lady posted was great for me to learn from and apply the knowledge...btw if you have an attitude about me giving instruction I will walk out...just like I don't keep my order of food when its cooked incorrectly...i just rather get my money and walk out...I don't deal...

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

MrsAriannaAmbers Asking/telling how much to take off is no guarantee that they will stop there. I doubt many of the women who've been scalped didn't specify what THEY wanted, but once your back is turned This is a major trust issue.

Yes, people look on the floor, but then it's too late...the hair's gone!

Way too much emphasis in beauty schools seems to be on cutting hair, straight hair. When you put in a natural African texture, this gets VERY dicey given shrinkage issues which differ for each head. Shrinkage alone can cause a stylist to overshoot how much they cut, even in good faith. Shrinkage MUST be calculated in the dusting/cutting process, even on relaxed hair. African textures have shrinkage PERIOD! This is a major reason why so many women end up scalped...the stylists don't factor this in.

It's gotten so bad about cutting that there are a few salons that cater to long hair only (or those wanting to grow it). Generally those are WW focused salons. For BW, there's the "natuiral salon", but both of these institutions are a mere dream for many. There aren't many and can be 100s+ miles from you.

Ohhhhhhhhhh...I see now...I thought most get their hair trimmed/cut when you know wash, set and straightened *whatever method you use*...I only allow cuts on dry hair so they have to do whatever they are doing first...*I don't do wet cuts*...and then they style...gurl shut tha front door...so they are cutting it while naturally curly...then hell no..I aint gonna let them cut my hair unless they are specialized in it and for me that would cut out majority of AA salons for me....

Even now my BFF *shes a stylist* cuts my hair when dry only...

 

[Bella_Atl]

so they are cutting it while naturally curly...then hell no..I aint gonna let them cut my hair unless they are specialized in it and for me that would cut out majority of AA salons for me....

Even now my BFF *shes a stylist* cuts my hair when dry only...

Welcome to our world...lol

 

[Tolle]

I think it is a combo of both. Some are jealous. Some are incompetent. I used to be friends/go to a girl who was jealous of anyone with hair longer than hers. She would always find a reason to cut their hair. And though her ends were see through, she never ever cut her own hair. But she was always telling her clients about their stringy hair.

So basically I think it goes both ways. I will say that, in the past, the best stylist I ever went to was a (straight) man!

straight man stylist?!?! I know im naive about this one but i didnt think those existed. I knew a guy stylist who insisted he was straight... I didnt buy it. and back to the topic- I think most aa stylist just dont know any better. I once had a stylist who I told i repeatly that I hated my thin hair and wanted to thicken it up. I was going in for weekly washing and conditioning and guess what this chick did with every visit... glue in a track or two to make it fuller.. I know I should have known better... talk about getting no where fast!!!!

 

[Tolle]

I agree with your whole post. ESPECIALLY the bolded! I also wonder why BW have an unspoken rule that you cannot go to another stylist in the same salon. Like if you go to Maya for 3 yrs, but she's unprofessional, does hair aight, and is kind of lazy... then you notice Nicole in the same salon is very professional, does the bomb hair, and has health haired clients; why is it that we'd feel guilty about leaving Maya and going to Nicole? I've never understood that unspoken rule.



I agree... hence the reason I haven't set foot in a Dominican salon since the beginning of my transition. They let me know quite clearly that they didn't want to do my "nappy" hair . They complained about my hair type and kept telling me I needed a texturizer when I saw women with type 2 waves or type 3 curls that they happily did their hair. So, that was my que to not go anymore. I'm not saying all Dominican salons aer like that, but it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Ive had this happen to me. I cannot explain why it made me uncomfortable. now that im thinking about it I think that for one most women are competitive and this would feed the fire and I already have to deal with attitudes erplexed(in many aa salons i have visited) so I dont need any more shade from a scorned stylist. solution- became a diy

 

[FAMUDva]

I applaud all the DIYers... I'm a part time DIYer myself, but honestly, I like the look and feel of a fresh professional hair do. So, that makes me take more control and tell who ever is doing my hair what I do an don't want done to my head. If they do differently, I'm leaving.

 

[yaya24]

My friend (AA stylist) thinks that a trim is a CUT. I think it is instilled in her from growing up in the AA society. She feels that a trim should equal even blunt ends. I do not think she is jelouse, she doesn't know any better.

 

[irsgirl]

I had a hairdresser who was trained old school by her mom. Who was straight wash and press(hot comb), finger waves and pink rollerserplexed. She quickly learned rollersets, but was so heavy on the hair grease the roller set looked like a press and curl. she used basic conditioner, but always deep conditioned under the dryer. My main problem with her she always wanted to give me a relaxer after about 6 weeks. I don't think she was jealous of my hair I think she just wanted that extra $40 she charged for the relaxer.

 

[Yen Oak]

^^^ That's interesting. My hair stylist won't even think about relaxing me prior to 8 weeks. And even then she still wants to "watch and wait"...

 

[Tolle]

I applaud all the DIYers... I'm a part time DIYer myself, but honestly, I like the look and feel of a fresh professional hair do. So, that makes me take more control and tell who ever is doing my hair what I do an don't want done to my head. If they do differently, I'm leaving.

i do too. but i just get so tired of fighting with these chicks to honor my request. the quest continues....

 

[LushLox]

The great thing about this forum is that it has really empowered me to be more confident and speak up about the decisions I want to take with my hair. The last two times that I saw my stylist she asked about trimming and I firmly but politely said no and she left it at that. I don't really have much problem with her in fairness so I'm just going to stick with her.

 

[Bella_Atl]

I think it's because too many women are afraid of confrontation (esp w/ someone wielding scissors and caustic chems ) AND BW have had "loyalty" drummed into them from birth.

I think many women don't want to cause ruffled feathers and drama, I suspect. To see another stylist in the same salon might cause this. My mother and aunt were like this in their current sitch. I'd find another salon to avoid all this IF I did hairdressers, which I DON'T

For naturals, anybody w/ "bad huah" attitudes/vibes, If you get that vibe, you'll end up after what they do to you. Just my theory, but some folks seem to want to "punish" naturals, esp those who don't have "gud huah" for having the nerve to show African textures. We shouldn't pretend that ignorant attitudes like this are rare....stylists can play "gud huah-bad huah" too, but they have scissors and chemicals to do it w/!

No way in heck should you pay to be insulted, no matter how good their skillz are. If someone doesn't appreciate your hair, they don't appreciate your They can get along WITHOUT both and you can KEEP both! If your hair is not good enough, neither is your money!

Amen Sistah!

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

My friend (AA stylist) thinks that a trim is a CUT. I think it is instilled in her from growing up in the AA society. She feels that a trim should equal even blunt ends. I do not think she is jelouse, she doesn't know any better.

this is how i got my last "trim" and from a WHITE stylist with equally as long hair.

i even showed her with my hair where i wanted it cut, made her put her fingers in the same spot and we both agreed. i still walked out with an extra 3inches gone!

 

[CurlyMoo]

Based on my personal experience, it's jealousy, hatred, incompetence and ignorance. One, the other or all of the above. If I won't trim my own hair, I will take it to a male barber because men like long hair on women and tend to be very gentle.

 

[Almaz]

I love my stylist she is all about Condition and care and she does not charge me an extra arm and leg because I have long hair she is not scissor happy and she likes when her clients have long healthy hair. I will follow here anywhere and that is why she left Yahiya and the other salons in Hyde park because she did not like their practises. She told one client what to do because she was like Oh you don't need a touch up now you can stretch it out a bit and let me show you what to do to make it look nice. You can go for a little more time. Abdul the manager said to Yahiya in Arabic.

No no she needs to tell the lady that she needs a touch up right away. She should tell her that. You need to talk to her because the customers will not come back right away.

So I was listening and she was like let me give you a deep condition and a very small trim don't overburden you hair with chemicals like that because you hair is thin and fine. Let me tell you what to do and make another appt in about 3 weeks. Okay the girl still ended up spending some money on the Deep Con and some styling products but I guess that was not enough. Of course my hairdresser being one of my very best Personal friends I told her every damn thing he said. The manager I guess his sillly arse forgot that Even though I am Eritrean Arabic is the second language of the country

Fool

 

[FAMUDva]

i do too. but i just get so tired of fighting with these chicks to honor my request. the quest continues....

Girl, I go to a straight dude now . No arguing. Matter of fact, I was pissed at my last appointment because he let the assistant blow me out and she kept talking about how my hair was making her tired because it was so thick... as soon as I sat in his chair for him to press me out I told him that NEVER under any circumstances is the chick to touch my head and I told him why. She wasn't gentle, etc... he was very apologetic and actually overcompensated to make sure I remain happy.

I'm not saying all chicks are the way people are describing here, but I'm so thankful that I found a guy who honors my request and is happy to make me happy. For the first time I enjoy going to the salon because I enjoy my salon experience and (so far) what my stylist is doing for me to help me learn to manage my natural hair. Now as soon as he effs up I'll be all up in here to let y'all know.

ETA: And when I tell him NO to a trim or how much to trim, he just says "ok Ms. Lady". LOL! I think because he has a younger wife he just rolls with the punches. hahaha

 

[SiobhanM]

Well i honestly i dont know it is jealousy.
I think like another poster said alot of stylist now a days are more concerned with just the styling and not proper hair care.

Everything i learned about hair i learned from you lovely women and google.

Shame on these stylist for not educating their clients ( hell maybe they dont know either)
Maybe there is some jealousy. Have you ever looked at some of these stylist hair?
ALL JACKED UP lol
To me thats like going to a dentist with a yuck mouth. My theory is if you cant properly maintain yours then please do not touch my lovely tresses lol

So it it may be some jealously because some clients hair is beautiful while the stylist is tore up from floor up and JUST A LACK OF CARE ABOUT THE HAIR. (care)

 

[beans08]

Well i honestly i dont know it is jealousy.
I think like another poster said alot of stylist now a days are more concerned with just the styling and not proper hair care.

Everything i learned about hair i learned from you lovely women and google.

Shame on these stylist for not educating their clients ( hell maybe they dont know either)
Maybe there is some jealousy. Have you ever looked at some of these stylist hair?
ALL JACKED UP lol
To me thats like going to a dentist with a yuck mouth. My theory is if you cant properly maintain yours then please do not touch my lovely tresses lol

So it it may be some jealously because some clients hair is beautiful while the stylist is tore up from floor up and JUST A LACK OF CARE ABOUT THE HAIR. (care)

Ditto. I give Cathy Howse a little credit for making me believe my hair could be better, and that led me to this site, and real knowledge about my hair.

 

[SiobhanM]

My friend (AA stylist) thinks that a trim is a CUT. I think it is instilled in her from growing up in the AA society. She feels that a trim should equal even blunt ends. I do not think she is jelouse, she doesn't know any better.

Im feel so sorry for all the ladies who share their stories on how the stylist trimmed to much and it basically turned into a cut.
Maybe they dont know any better but as a stylist they did attend cosmetology school and should know the difference between a trim and a cut or blunt cut.
SHAME ON THEM!

I STILL ASK MY GRANDMOM 2 TRIM MY HAIR

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

Based on my personal experience, it's jealousy, hatred, incompetence and ignorance. One, the other or all of the above. If I won't trim my own hair, I will take it to a male barber because men like long hair on women and tend to be very gentle.

that is a really good plan!!!! how did that never click in my head! in fact it was a bunch of barbers that stopped me from getting a pixie cut last yr when i finally thought i would go through with it. i went to my stylist at the time and asked for a extremely short cut that would require some clipper work and she told me she is not comfortable with using clippers. she then recommended a barber who would just chop my hair off and then clip it in the manner i wanted.

when i walked in there with the pic i had like 15 dudes (barbers and clients) asking me to please reconsider lmao they scared me out of it quick and i ran home! lol i still really want that cut though

 

[sky035]

My current stylist is AA (ACanadian) and she knows that I will breathe fire if she cuts my hair. But she has really good technique, in terms of cutting and styling, so when I need a trim, I do trust her. I think that it goes both ways. The client has to be assertive and the sylist has to walk a fine line between pleasing and doing her/his job. Pehaps some may be jealous, but there are good AA stylist out there who want to see their clients hair grow long.

 

[mstar]

I truly don't think it's jealousy, and it goes deeper than just plain ignorance. My last stylist was a black woman who is known for hair care. She does all the right things that we talk about on this board, all of her clients have long hair, and she has long hair herself (MBL). She should've been a dream come true.

But her attitude was horrible. She suggested that I start seeing her weekly for 6 months to grow out my haircut (at a cost of $100 a week), and when I asked her point blank to tell me what exactly her weekly service would do to increase my hair growth or retention, she got offended. Her exact words were, "I can't believe you even asked me that. Why would you ask me a question like that? I'm not going to tell you the answer...my work speaks for itself."

Now my thing is, any professional person should be willing to answer a potential client's question of "what can your services do for me?" Only a hairstylist would feel offended...it's like they think they are all-powerful, and the person sitting in their chair is some lowly peon who doesn't have the right to question them.

This stylist was definitely not jealous...I just think she suffered from the same attitude as many (most?) black stylists--arrogant, self-important, and unwilling to acknowledge that their clients have the right to make informed decisions about their own hair care. They don't want to share information or haircare tips because they feel that would diminish their standing as the "all-powerful" stylist. They're not client-focused, they're profit-focused. And I'm no longer comfortable giving my time and trust to a stylist who doesn't give two sh*ts about me or my hair.

 

[NYAmicas]

I truly don't think it's jealousy, and it goes deeper than just plain ignorance. My last stylist was a black woman who is known for hair care. She does all the right things that we talk about on this board, all of her clients have long hair, and she has long hair herself (MBL). She should've been a dream come true.

But her attitude was horrible. She suggested that I start seeing her weekly for 6 months to grow out my haircut (at a cost of $100 a week), and when I asked her point blank to tell me what exactly her weekly service would do to increase my hair growth or retention, she got offended. Her exact words were, "I can't believe you even asked me that. Why would you ask me a question like that? I'm not going to tell you the answer...my work speaks for itself."

Now my thing is, any professional person should be willing to answer a potential client's question of "what can your services do for me?" Only a hairstylist would feel offended...it's like they think they are all-powerful, and the person sitting in their chair is some lowly peon who doesn't have the right to question them.

This stylist was definitely not jealous...I just think she suffered from the same attitude as many (most?) black stylists--arrogant, self-important, and unwilling to acknowledge that their clients have the right to make informed decisions about their own hair care. They don't want to share information or haircare tips because they feel that would diminish their standing as the "all-powerful" stylist. They're not client-focused, they're profit-focused. And I'm no longer comfortable giving my time and trust to a stylist who doesn't give two sh*ts about me or my hair.

ITA! I find it amusing when they act like they're doing us a favor and continuing with the rudeness and unprofessionalism. Then some of them sit their mad that their shop is empty and still wont do anything to change.The stylists who can treat not only their customer's hair but the customer him/herself are the ones who have steady clients.