Ask a Natural/Ask a Relaxed...questions that you are too embarassed to ask...

[that_1_grrrl]

I stretch my hair by putting it in 2-4 large braids or twists. The less twists I use, the longer and straighter my hair is. Basically, after two twists, my hair looks like it's been texlaxed. I have very little problem with knots at that point, but I still have bad tangling. My hair likes to clump too much.

i agree with whoever said check out YT and other natural hair tutorials for hairstyle varieties. it doesn't always have to be puffs, and afros. also, i was thinking if she likes the "straighter" looks most of the time, but doesn't want to relax, maybe she can try a BKT (at her own risk). Therefore she can still have some of the advantages of relaxed hair.


ETA: I have a question for the naturals (yes it's dumb too ).. but how do you "stretch" your hair. I hear a lot of y'all saying that y'all stretch the hair to prevent knots, or stretching after washing, and etc. But how exactly do you do it? do you make a big braid? erplexed

 

[jamaraa]

Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

Q2: Relaxed heads, do you ever just with there was an easier way to just instantly be natural, but you keep up the relaxed hair just because of the long exhaustive process of transitioning or BCing and waiting for your length to grow back? Do you feel bad that you just can't go through all it takes to go natural?


BTW: I am relaxed and have threatened to go natural several times. still relaxed though.

1. No, I don't regret it in the least. I've spent 99% of my life natural. No I wouldn't feel like a failure if I got a relaxer because *I* wanted to. I got mine when I was a teen cuz I was bullied into it by kids at school. I'm a full grown woman and if I choose to get one, it's my choice. Nobody else gets a vote. I'll admit, I've considered getting a relaxer many times over the years, but something's always stopped me....usually a hairdresser.

2. see above

 

[jamaraa]

Naturals: Do you see a difference in conditioner designed for curly hair vs regular conditioner? I have been eyeing a few curly conditioners that I want to try but dont want to waste my money if they dont do anything special!

No I see no diff between products for curly hair vs any other kind of texture. I DO go for "dry/damaged" products mostly even tho I'm neither "dry" and certainly not "damaged" (well maybe a little bit, but not my hair)....these seem to be the ones more moisturizing. I use them to avoid dryness and they work well for those purposes, IMHO.

IOW, go for things that are anti dryness as opposed to something for texture, I say.

 

[jamaraa]

Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"

For me, many of these natural styles so popular are NOT appropriate because they will not lie flat under hijab. False hair of any kind is NOT an option for Muslims either. I wear plaits or ponys and that suits me fine.

If this wasn't the case for me, I'd still not wear most of the popular styles. My hair would be horribly tangled wearing it puffed/teased out and I really dislike afros (I'm old enough to remember the end of the last afro era). My uncles used to given them to me back then at 2 years old and I hated it then too.

(Unpopular opinion alert, but you asked. No faint of heart here) Too many natural styles look rather childish, IMHO. I think this is what may keep some who might go natural from doing it. They wouldn't know what to do stylewise and don't want "Shirley Temple" curls at 50. Shrug.

Should you go natural? Entirely up to you. Do so because YOU want to and not because it's popular. After all, it's YOUR hair, not someone else's. Taking care of it is easy, IMHO...at least for me, but something you'll have to learn w/ trial and error. I did and still do learn new approaches to my hair.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Thanks girls.

Q3. For natural ladies, does your regimine change with the seasons?

q4: For naturals and relaxed ladies, is it me or does my eye burn when rinsing/washing in t he shower. This is not even from getting product directly in my eye. What can I do to combat this? Also what can I do about getting shedded hair in my boonky?[/B]

My regimen changes more with the hair style then it does with the seasons but in the winters I tend to wear my hair straight more so it shifts to just keeping the ends lightly oiled and pinning or bantuing my hair up at night.

Also, if your eyes are burning from your shampoo or conditioner then I think you should try either letting the water always cascade backwards instead of toward your face or get much milder poo's and condish's

Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

No I've never regretted going natural at all. I've had very frustrating moments during the transition but I always thought to myself I need to switch up either my products or technique.

I had absolutely no idea about Hair Boards and had to teach myself all my own styles and learn techniques all on my own and I STILL stayed natural thru all that trial and error, I had no idea how I was gonna transition but I knew I was gonna go natural and stay that way. I guess I would feel like a failure if I ever relaxed but thats not even a scenario that crosses my mind.

Natural- What do you do when your hair creates so many knots its not funny?!?! My hair curls onto itself creating single, double, triple (and keep going) knots. I try to detangle daily or every coupla days and nothing helps. Am I resigned to twists only forever as a natural?!?!

Thats an indication that you're in need of a staple treatment that will seal your cuticle and you need more frequent trims. I had to battle my first bout of SSK's when I took out my pixies because I put them in when I had very iffy ends now I know the next time I put them in I'll do it when I know my ends are on point and this time I'll detangle the ends I leave loose at least once every few days next time I do pixies.

Naturals: Do you see a difference in conditioner designed for curly hair vs regular conditioner? I have been eyeing a few curly conditioners that I want to try but dont want to waste my money if they dont do anything special!

Nope, my fave conditioners NourishSpa and AussieMoist dont specify that at all and their wonderful on my coils.

Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"

Stick to what you like, no one says you HAVE to wear certain styles to be an official natural lol twist-out and braid outs are two of my faves too. Do what feels right for you love

 

[tocktick]

I usually make several braids/plaits throughout my hair to stretch my hair.


Naturals I have a few questions:

1) For those that baggy, have you had any problems with your hair becoming over moisturized?

Nope. I use just a little olive oil. Sometimes I don't baggy with anything on my hair. I only baggy 2-3x per week though.

2) For those that never use heat, do you still get split ends?

I used to do the occasional blow-out with heat (haven't used heat for a few months though). I'm not sure if that applies. I get split ends sometimes but not so many these days. I've never flat-ironed by hair and don't envision a time where I will (lazy & can't see the point since I don't get excited about straight hair on me). I wanted to flat-iron in the past though.

3) Do you trim your hair? If so, how often do you trim?

I used to trim my hair too much - never on a schedule though. I haven't trimmed since May and will probably not trim again until next May. It's something I'll leave to twice a year from now on. Dusting/search and destroys etc not included, of course.

 

[jamaraa]

About split ends everybody gets them sometimes because you can't avoid breaking hairs. Non heat using naturals might get less than people who straighten by heat, but that may not necessarily be true. Much of it depends on how they handle their sheds, if they detagle gently, and if the cuticles create a tendency to wrap hairs around other hairs.

 

[ThickHair]

Why do some people who wear their hair relaxed think it is too much work to be natural?

I think on a day to day basis it is easier, it is just washing and detangling may take a long time on the front end, but that is the price to pay to get up and go.

 

[jamaraa]

Why do some people who wear their hair relaxed think it is too much work to be natural?

I think on a day to day basis it is easier, it is just washing and detangling may take a long time on the front end, but that is the price to pay to get up and go.

If they read the reggies here, it's understandable. Lots of naturals have VERY intricate reggies and tons of products, not all, but many. I'm always amazed that how complex some of these reggies are. It's like cooking haute cuisine!

I don't just "get up and go". It takes me plenty of time to plait my hair, oil my scalp/hair, detangle, condition, etc...I just won't rush thru it. So I figure it IS alot of work if you take plenty of time to do these things. Patience is the key and I suspect many don't have that or enough of it. The key to natural hair maintenance, IMHO is NOT hard work, but SMART work.

 

[Neith]

I usually make several braids/plaits throughout my hair to stretch my hair.


Naturals I have a few questions:

1) For those that baggy, have you had any problems with your hair becoming over moisturized?

2) For those that never use heat, do you still get split ends?

3) Do you trim your hair? If so, how often do you trim?

1) I don't baggy... that is something I want to try out when I have longer hair though!

2) Since I BC'd I've only seen like 3 or 4 splits. I guess I get them, but it's very few.

3) I plan to dust every 3 months.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I have always wondered the same because there seems to be A LOT to do to take care of relaxed hair. I find it overwhelming.

However, I think it comes down to what people are willing to do. I am willing to deal with knots, but I am not willing to deal with stretching and making sure my hair gets enough protein while also making sure it doesn't get too much protein.

Why do some people who wear their hair relaxed think it is too much work to be natural?

I think on a day to day basis it is easier, it is just washing and detangling may take a long time on the front end, but that is the price to pay to get up and go.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I'm transitioning with flat twists. I can't wait until I'm natural because this style will hold a lot easier. I am able to get my hair strait with my hot air brush, so I will have more versatility. I am getting more excited each day because this is the longest I've ever transitioned! I've done it 9 times and BCD my hair short. I am so hoping to have hair long enough to bun when my transition ends. I will restart my fotki when that happens.

 

[Hysi]

Thanks girls.

Q3. For natural ladies, does your regimine change with the seasons?

q4: For naturals and relaxed ladies, is it me or does my eye burn when rinsing/washing in t he shower. This is not even from getting product directly in my eye. What can I do to combat this? Also what can I do about getting shedded hair in my boonky?

q3: since i've recently bc'd i haven't had to change just yet, but as the weather gets cooler i suspect i won't do wash n go as much or change how i do them. i may flat iron more. i dunno.

q4: wash the boonky out!!!lol

 

[Stepiphanie]

Naturals: How did you prepare for the actual BC, as far as conditioning and styling etc. What products did you have on hand? Did you cut at home or at a salon? What styles did you find helpful in the first months post BC ? I know, lots of questions, but inquiring minds want to know. Lol

 

[dicapr]

Why do some people who wear their hair relaxed think it is too much work to be natural?

I think on a day to day basis it is easier, it is just washing and detangling may take a long time on the front end, but that is the price to pay to get up and go.

For me, being relaxed is easier. I cannot wash and go. It would take me 4 hrs everyweek to wash, detangle, and twist my hair. The whole process while relaxed could take an hour or less including conditioning. It just depends on the individual. That being said, I am tired of chemicals and I am going back natural.

 

[silvergirl]

Naturals: How did you prepare for the actual BC, as far as conditioning and styling etc. What products did you have on hand? Did you cut at home or at a salon? What styles did you find helpful in the first months post BC ? I know, lots of questions, but inquiring minds want to know. Lol

i bought a clarifying shampoo for after the cut. and a good moisturizing conditioner. i had a little gel just in case and a hair clip and a headband on hand.

first BC my husband did it at home. i just wet my hair, (no conditioner. just wet) so i could really see the relaxed ends and had him clip them off. the second time i went to my moms salon. she doesnt actually do my hair since she mostly deals with caucasian clients, but i finally convinced her to chop all my hair off (shes a long hair lover herself)

in a another recent thread i wrote that im not really a fan of braids, twist, things like that, so i wore my hair in a wash an go till it was long enough to ponytail it ( about 7 months later). some days id clip it , use a headband, or a little faux scarf headband.

 

[Junebug D]

Why do some people who wear their hair relaxed think it is too much work to be natural?

I think on a day to day basis it is easier, it is just washing and detangling may take a long time on the front end, but that is the price to pay to get up and go.

I was never able to get up and go unless I engaged in a 2 hour+ twisting session the night before. And then the twists only would last a week, at most (even less if I washed my hair 2x per week like I needed to at various times, and even less if I actually took them down before they would dry out and turn crispy).

That said, wash day for my relaxed hair takes several hours as well. I guess time is just the price you pay to have healthy, nice-looking hair either way it goes. But I no longer have two-hour twisting sessions to worry about and it takes approximately 3 minutes in the morning to moisturize and bun now.

 

[LovinLea]

Naturals: Does the shed hair just slide out as you go about your day (as it did when you were relaxed) or do you actually have to comb/brush through it to get rid of them?

(always sees hairs in my hands after combing through in a cowash and i just BCed the other day!)

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

More deep conditioning and less co-washing in the winter



Yeah, this happens to me. No idea what one can do to avoid it. When it happens, I usually rinse my eye with cold water.

.

clench your butt-cheeks...?

LOL!!!

 

[silvergirl]

Naturals: Does the shed hair just slide out as you go about your day (as it did when you were relaxed) or do you actually have to comb/brush through it to get rid of them?

(always sees hairs in my hands after combing through in a cowash and i just BCed the other day!)

most come out in comb, or hand instead of during the day. but it doesnt tangle in the hair, it just stays put till i comb it out.

 

[RedVelvet310]

YAY for this thread ! (I'm natural FYI)

Thanks girls.

Q3. For natural ladies, does your regimine change with the seasons?
My regimen just changes. I don't think I've been natural long enough (about two years) to have a set seasonal regimen. BUT during fall/winter seasons when I'm in school I wash only once a week in comparison to spring/summer when I have more time, where I wash my hair every day. I think my hair grows better when I wash once a week though (less manipulation)

q4: For naturals and relaxed ladies, is it me or does my eye burn when rinsing/washing in t he shower. This is not even from getting product directly in my eye. What can I do to combat this? Also what can I do about getting shedded hair in my boonky?

Never, but what I did notice is that the shampoo or conditioner would irritate my skin, so I don't shower and wash my hair at the same time anymore (I lean over a tub)

Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?
Yes.. there are days when I just want to give up on my natural hair and slap on that creamy crack. I wouldn't have to worry about breakage and damage because I have you ladies to keep me informed! But that notion is quickly thrown out the window when my hair starts cooperating with me. It's all a matter of finding what your hair likes, doesn't like, loves and hates. Black hair has such personality

Natural- What do you do when your hair creates so many knots its not funny?!?! My hair curls onto itself creating single, double, triple (and keep going) knots. I try to detangle daily or every coupla days and nothing helps. Am I resigned to twists only forever as a natural?!?!
I don't fret over knots too often, they are inevitable with curly hair, my hair is growing fine without me worrying about them. I do notice them when I wear puff styles, but that doesn't stop me from wearing them, I just detangle with a cheap conditioner and KIM.. I really like twists soo... I could rock them for life! Get creative with your twists! I like to make mine very small and have them curl at the ends.. and I'm trying three strand twists soon

Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural? You don't HAVE to do anything .. the best/thickest/healthiest straight styles I see are on women with natural hair! The key is finding a straightening regimen that works for you. And don't knock natural styles that quick! So a little bit of photo searching and I'm sure you'll find something you like. The great thing about natural hair is that we have that VERSATILITY! "

 

[ThickHair]

Naturals: How did you prepare for the actual BC, as far as conditioning and styling etc. What products did you have on hand? Did you cut at home or at a salon? What styles did you find helpful in the first months post BC ? I know, lots of questions, but inquiring minds want to know. Lol

No prep, I just went to the barbershop after work and told the guy to shave my head. Why condition and style if you are just going to cut it all off?

 

[jamaraa]

No prep, I just went to the barbershop after work and told the guy to shave my head. Why condition and style if you are just going to cut it all off?

The barbershop! Ya know, this is a great idea. More naturals should consider barbershops for trims. They do know how to handle and cut natural African textures w/o taking too much off.

So you cut it all the way down to a twa or lower, I take it?

 

[wheezy807]

I like this thread. I know this is a really dumb question but i dunno the answer so... (Naturals)What exactly is a wash and go? What does it consist of? I heard someone saying something about leaving the conditioner in and combing the hair through??? So after you rinse some of the conditioner out you shouldn't disturb the hair anymore, right? TIA.

 

[jamaraa]

Naturals: Does the shed hair just slide out as you go about your day (as it did when you were relaxed) or do you actually have to comb/brush through it to get rid of them?

(always sees hairs in my hands after combing through in a cowash and i just BCed the other day!)

Very rarely do my sheds just "slide out" cuz I'm always plaited, even if only 1 ponytail. I have to comb and brush (usually just combing...brushing is to distribute oils for me and cuz it feels too ) to get rid of them. Finger combing, wet or dry, doesn't work for me at all.

I comb my dry hair immediately before washing w/ the express purpose of removing most of the sheds. After this, when I wash, the rest come out as well. I use shampoo as well. I never co wash.

Since you co wash (fairly often I gather), it shouldn't be any big deal that your sheds simply slip out...but if you wash less often and/or don't wear your hair loose, you'll have to remove them yourself. They won't just fall out from my experience.

 

[jamaraa]

I like this thread. I know this is a really dumb question but i dunno the answer so... (Naturals)What exactly is a wash and go? What does it consist of? I heard someone saying something about leaving the conditioner in and combing the hair through??? So after you rinse some of the conditioner out you shouldn't disturb the hair anymore, right? TIA.

I don't do this, but from my understanding it simply means they "wash" their hair (be it w/ conventionally or co washing), put in a little product (oils, maybe a leave in or something) , and do little or no conventional styling. Many times they let their hair air dry loose OR they put it in twists, bantu knots, etc...but almost always air dried. The air dried part is the "and go" .

 

[Stormy]

Naturals: How did you prepare for the actual BC, as far as conditioning and styling etc. What products did you have on hand? Did you cut at home or at a salon? What styles did you find helpful in the first months post BC ? I know, lots of questions, but inquiring minds want to know. Lol

Well, I originally tried transitioning, but after about 16 weeks I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I called my Stylist who's also a Barber to do the BC for me, but he never came into the shop that day. After waiting around for him I said forget it and cut it myself! Oh, and I did a lot of research before on what products work for natural hair. I bought Giovanni's Smooth as Silk shampoo, conditioner and the leave-in conditioner. I had some moisturizing spray on hand as well (Leisure scalp spray).

As for styles I just wore a twa for the first few months. Actually I still do because I have a lot of shrinkage and can still get away with this style. When I get tired of the twa (and for retention) I twist it and wear a wig for a week or two at a time. I can't wait to have enough hair for a puff! Almost there. I also plan to wear twist outs.

 

[Stormy]

I don't do this, but from my understanding it simply means they "wash" their hair (be it w/ conventionally or co washing), put in a little product (oils, maybe a leave in or something) , and do little or no conventional styling. Many times they let their hair air dry loose OR they put it in twists, bantu knots, etc...but almost always air dried. The air dried part is the "and go" .

That's exactly what my wash-n-gos pretty much consist of. I just wash, put some leave-in conditioner in and my mixture of EVCO and EVOO and go! I usually wear a twa also and just let it air dry.

 

[Stormy]

The barbershop! Ya know, this is a great idea. More naturals should consider barbershops for trims. They do know how to handle and cut natural African textures w/o taking too much off.

Whoa! That's the BIGGEST mistake I ever made! After 3 months of "some" progress I went to a barbershop for a trim and shape up. That man cut so much of my hair down and practically shaved the back! I was so upset. He set me back! It was very nice and neater though. But still... I would never go to a Barber for my cut if I'm trying to grow my hair out. I read the same thing on some other threads too and I should have listened.

 

[jamaraa]

Whoa! That's the BIGGEST mistake I ever made! After 3 months of "some" progress I went to a barbershop for a trim and shape up. That man cut so much of my hair down and practically shaved the back! I was so upset. He set me back! It was very nice and neater though. But still... I would never go to a Barber for my cut if I'm trying to grow my hair out. I read the same thing on some other threads too and I should have listened.

Really? Wow, sorry to hear that. I'd have thought barbers having more experience w/ natural textures would know how to tri m w/o taking too much off. Beauty shops are notorious for that....now barabers too?

I never cut my hair (no it hasn't split up to the root/yes it's rather even...I know someone will ask) so the barber sounded like a good idea. I feel badly now reading what happened to you.