Devasted......

[Survive4]

After 2 months of trying to salvage my almost BSL hair from damage caused by pregnancy hormonal changes and the stress of my marriage ending, I cut it off to ear length. Tomorrow I will go to the salon to shape it into a manageable something.

My question to those who have done the BC or shorter styles after years of length: how did you deal? Hair holds so much importance to so many of us and with this new development I'm completely numb. I have not had hair this short in almost 20 years and I am clueless as to my next step. I'm interested in exploring my natural texture for a while (which I've assumed to be a 4a for years). Any and all comments, suggestions and thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading....

 

[NappyNelle]

I'm sorry to hear about your stressors. As your screen name says, you will SURVIVE.

 

[SmilingElephant]

After 2 months of trying to salvage my almost BSL hair from damage caused by pregnancy hormonal changes and the stress of my marriage ending, I cut it off to chin length. Tomorrow I will go to the salon to shape it into a manageable something.

My question to those who have done the BC or shorter styles after years of length: how did you deal? Hair holds so much importance to so many of us and with this new development I'm completely numb. I have not had hair this short in almost 20 years and I am clueless as to my next step. I'm interested in exploring my natural texture for a while (which I've assumed to be a 4c for years). Any and all comments, suggestions and thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading....

When i BC'd i was already ready to go natural...mentally. But i know this for you is unwanted...and i'm VERY sorry this happened to you.

On the days that i miss my WL hair...i remind myself that it will grow back regardless...especially as long as i take good care of it like i know how to.

I actually grew to like my hair short tho...it's not so bad...but i still cannot wait to at least be able to stretch it back down to my waist!

It'll get better!

 

[bellebebe]

Fret not, doll, you will persevere. It's never the end.

 

[Darenia]

For me a hair cut has always represented a fresh start.

Do not regret it, it cannot be undone. Embrace it and be strong. Consider this an opportunity for a new beginning to be fearless and to redefine how you want to be seen. You are not your hair. This is a chance for a new and improved you.

Besides, you have more important things to worry about right now than your hair. You have a lil one that's gonna need a strong, loving and attentive momma.

(That's what I told myself)

 

[nzeee]

i'm sad for you Survive4 so much has happened to you in such a short time. in a few months tho you should start to feel like yourself again. make sure you have good support around you. if you can't go to them, ask if someone can come to you and stay w/ you for a while.

on the hair topic... i'm natural but i wouldn't recommend it for you right now. you're already going through so much! transitioning could be ill advised as it's potentially one more point of stress and the unknown which could cause undue frustration. being short is enough for now it sounds like since you are having such a strong reaction to it.

i would take it easy. there is no rush. your natural hair always grows out of your head. you can transition when you're feeling better

 

[nappystorm]

Something similar happened to me two years ago. After I got my shape-up, I was pretty happy and I loved my hair. All you can really do is nurse it back to health and try to enjoy whatever stage it's in.

 

[divachyk]

I'm sorry about the stresses of life that you've dealt with. I don't have any BC experience to share. I simply stopped in to give you love and encouragement.

 

[Lucie]

*HUGS*

I am sorry hon, that you have so much on your plate right now but it's just hair. IT WILL GROW BACK! I know it's an annoying cliche but it is so true. What gives us stress is how we perceive things. How about you change your mindset and see this as a fresh start? How about you count the blessings you do have. Namely, your life and your bundle of joy. This forum has a stealth of information of how to grow your hair back. As for your marriage, I am sorry. I know how you feel. Losing a marriage is a death of sorts. However, we are all here for you. Whether that be via PM or in threads. Just know that you are NOT alone.

What things make you happy? Perhaps you can start to do little things for yourself to regain your joy. You are a SURVIVOR! *MORE HUGS*

 

[MzSwift]

(((BIG HUG)))

Are you opposed to getting braid/twist extensions? Perhaps you could do that or wear wigs until you've come to a decision or the health of your hair is restored.

 

[Kn0ttyByNatur3]

T I am sorry about all the issues you are going through, Survive.

I don't think you should BC either. There is a lot going on for you right now. Like the others said you have to prepare mentally for having long hair to practically having none, and of a different texture for you to handle on top of that.


I think you should wait it off, til things settle down around you.

 

[PureSilver]

I'm really sorry about your mishaps, Chin length is not so bad, it would be great if you do not allow the stylist to cut it too much shorter if you are not ready to go completely natural.

I'm assuming you have enough length to put it into a ponytail and with that it may be easier for you to explore your natural texture while you grow it out.

Styles like braid outs, bantu knot outs twists outs, a ponytail with a pony bun or phony ponytail will help you to not miss your length so much and are also great for the transitioning woman who is not ready to BC.


Wishing you peace in your soul and contentment in your decisions.

 

[ellebelle88]

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I went through these exact feelings. Tried to go natural, decided I couldn't deal with it at that point in my life, went to a new stylist to get a relaxer. She destroyed my BSL hair and I had to cut it to shoulder length. But it was still underprocessed in so many areas that I went to another stylist who gave me this horrible cut and now its not even neck length. I was depressed about it and I still am upset because I've never had hair this short. I'm used to putting it in a ponytail if I want to and/or straightening it and looking good. Now it takes way more of an effort for me to look good. I have to plan hairstyles and I have become a weave fiend. Something I never even wore before. I am tired of spending money on weaves and getting a sew-in done every 2 months ($150 every 2 months) when I used to spend $60 for a relaxer every 4 months.

Its taking some getting used to but I'm looking forward to caring for my hair and watching it grow again. I'm still deciding whether or not I will relax again or if I'm going to transition since I haven't had a relaxer since April.

Look at the bright side. Now is the time that you can play with different hair styles and looks that you never would have before. It will be a real reward once you get your hair back to BSL. Good luck hun and congrats on your child.

 

[Survive4]

(((BIG HUG)))

Are you opposed to getting braid/twist extensions? Perhaps you could do that or wear wigs until you've come to a decision or the health of your hair is restored.

Only had braids once and hated it. I dunno I like to be able to feel my hair (for lack of a better way to put it). Wigs or even a weave are possible but would need to do a lot more research first.

 

[Survive4]

I've got to amend that. Its ear length not chin. ugggggghhhhhhh

 

[Dominicanatural]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time right now. I can't even imagine what you must be experiencing. In this moment, be self-indulgent. You need to heal. Take yourself out on dates, don't be afraid of the bubble bath, douse yourself in fragrant oils. I know it's hard to get the strength to get up and do these things sometimes, but I know that you will feel better once you do. Now hair. Before I cut my hair short, I spent days on Youtube figuring out how I would make my tiny afro look glamorous. I've always thought short hair is the sign of a classy and stylish lady, but when I chopped I felt like my security blanket was gone. What worked for me was dressing up, putting on earrings and careful makeup, just to go to the grocery store.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm truly sorry that you're having a tough time. This will pass and the best thing that you can do is take a positive from it (new beginning) and keep moving forward for you and your little one.

I don't think you should BC right now out of emotion. Something protective like braids or a sew in or even wigging it might be a better idea so that you won't have to add the stresses of "doing hair" (or the shock of a premature BC) to your agenda.

Whatever you decide, there are alot of sisters here with strong shoulders and loving hearts. Be strong and know that you are loved.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. I chopped my hair pretty short (gave myself a baaaad hair cut LOL) after going through a rough time and just wore microbraids for a while (not good for my hair line.)

I'm at the end of the second year of my HHJ and I have been fantisizing often lately about how things might've turned out if I'd given myself a nice even BC, I'm talking buzz cut style. I feel like the parts of my hair that just refuse to retain length (my crown area and nape) might be doing better if I'd started with even length all around.

Things will get better for you and maybe your hair could be your marker for a new beginning like mine was for me. Growing out my hair has been a fun journey and strangely enough it got me through some terrible grief.

 

[guyanesesista]

Awwww. I hope you feel better soon. Don't worry your hair will grow back stronger than ever. ((HUGS))

 

[lilyofthenile]

A hair cut is sometimes viewed as a big change. When you are making big changes in your hair, you are making big changes in your life.

Cut it off and start over. Your changes in your life, represents a new beginning. You will do just wonderful.

 

[Misseyl]

Sorry to hear about your family, things will work itself out.

After I had a major setback in 2009 what I did was start wearing braids. After having my hair long for a period of time, I realized that I do not like short hair so I installed some braids.

 

[natural2008]

It grows back as hair is just dead follicles is what I say. It will grow back no worries .

 

[Lila25]

I'm sorry about what happened to you..be strong, pray, heal yourself, for yourself and your child. Let the pain make you stronger. There is a reason for everything, sometimes even the bad things wind up having meanin...you to hurt right now to know how this pain is going to make you stronger..

Give yourself time and like everyone previously said..your hair will grow back, your heart will heal. Ask around to friends and family to help you find a good salon that will give you a consultation on styling options with wigs or weaves.. And if your feeling adventurous, just wear your own hair! Spend some time on YouTube watching hair tutorials for short hair until you begin to feel comfortable about having short hair. When I did my big chop and had only six inches of new hair on my head I felt awkward..but I began to appreciate my own hair and texture, the ease at doing my hair and the freedom.

Stay strong sis!

 

[**SaSSy**]

Who are you? You been on here since 2004 and have less than 50 post.

Congrats on your BC, rock it out!

 

[caltron]

So sorry. I know it must be traumatic. It will definitely grow back even better than before.

I would weave it up in the meantime or get braids.

 

[Survive4]

Who are you? You been on here since 2004 and have less than 50 post.

Congrats on your BC, rock it out!

I'm a chronic lurker!!! But I learned so much and went from barely SL TO BSL in 2 years. What's better is I'm well equipped to do it again in terms of technique, products, and a regimen.

 

[Cendra]

I haven't been through what you're dealing with now so I will simply send you a warm hug and hold you in my prayers.
This too SHALL pass.

 

[BostonMaria]

Sending you a big hug!

Sounds like you're going through alot at this moment. Don't worry about your hair too much and concentrate on that child growing in your womb. Try not to stress out (I know, easier said than done). Your hair WILL grow back. As for everything else, you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but rest assured that this too shall pass. *another big hug*

 

[Girl626]

{Big Hugs} God Bless... You are a resilient soul that will emerge from adversity stronger, and more beautiful than ever, as will you hair! Do what you feel to treat yourself, heal yourself, and prepare for the wild and wonderful ride called motherhood. And obviously, you have an instant support group right here!

 

[cbanks67]

This would be a great time to sport a nice sassy do like a bob! The advantages of short hair are the cute sassy styles you can now rock! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.