do some people have HAIR so DIFFICULT they HAVE TO RELAX/TEXLAX?

[Cleve_gryl]

I knew a girl when I was in college that wore a short pixie cut. Every week when she washed her hair, she ran some relaxer thru her hair . This was waaay before I knew anything about decent hair care.

People used to make fun of how 'bad' her hair was, since she needed to perm it every week.

 

[kurlybella]

girl texlax.. trust hair is hair... i went through 5 years for frustration, crying, tired arms, begging someone to braid my hair, i couldnt rock a weave with my front out because it would convert if i sweat, or humidity, i would pull so much hair out even when i was gentle, if i did rock my hair i had to use heat just about every other day. And lets be honest some natural kinky hair styles dont work on everyone's face. and some styles make you look like a lil girl. i can go on and on.. BUT i suggest doing your research and or getting a texlax and the beauty of the texlax is you still have the thick, natural, bushy look but now its way more manageble.. just make sure you have healthy hair before you get a chemical treatment... no braids atleast 3 wks b4 AND get lost a of moisture and reconstructors.. (aphogee products rock)

lol. i'm not interested in doing it to my hair, it was only a question i thought about going through the motions with my hair.

 

[kurlybella]

This is my story, this is my song, too. I have straight up 4B hair. My hair has become so moisturized from daily co-washing that it remains moist (which I like) for a few hours after I have showered. Yes, it does take a long time for me to do my hair between co-washing it, detangling it, etc. but it's worth it because my hair is so healthy and soft right now. I want to ask you, OP, how often do you detangle? Do you only do so when you wash? I know that many are on the low-manipulation tip, but I daily use a denman brush to detangle my hair and so far, it has helped tremendously in thwarting tangles. What products are you using? Personally, my favorites are Qhemet Biologics products sealed with castor oil and glycerin. My hair is very coarse but keeping it constantly moisturized has helped a great deal. The next thing I need to master is incorporating protein in my regimen.

To be honest with you, it took a couple of months of consistent co-washing and deep conditioning my hair to get it to this point. I know that if I wasn't a student, it would be very difficult for me to do what I do to maintain my hair. As others have said, I do not subscribe to the belief that people have hair that is so difficult that they must relax. It's a viable option but it is not a necessity.

i was low manupliation. i wore cornrows and washed them every two weeks and then recornrowed and applied my lace wig. i did this all year until the other day when i took them down and washed my hair and blew it dry then flatironed it.

i think i've got to get back into having my hair out. but i moisturized my braids everyday anyway (i pinned my wig down, i didn't use glue), so other than my wash days, my hair is fine. girl i just hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my wash days!

 

[empressri]

What the heck is texlaxing anyway?? I've seen that word for a long time but never found a concrete answer...

 

[BostonMaria]

I'm going to get booted off on this one .... but yes my hair was to difficult to deal with. About 10-15 years ago I was all natural and suddenly I had to be a family caretaker. Absolutely no time for hair and though my hair tex has changed with age, then it was straight up, no joke, watch out, here it comes 4b/c/d/e/f etc.

Wash day (2x a wk) was always 3-4hrs and I never found a brush I didn't snap. No Joke so I started to texlax. Just so I could make a pony without a hump in the top of my head . After the relaxer it took my wash/con & detangle down to 1hr. Now yrs later my tex is 4a/b I'm going back to natural because I did love the thickness of my natural hair - no chem since Feb. 2008

I snapped a brush in half a few months ago

I voted "no" - I don't think everyone that has a certain hairtype needs to relax their hair.

Do you think its easier for women that have always had natural hair to take care of their hair? I sometimes wonder if its more difficult for those that transitioned from a relaxer. Natural hair is not more difficult, but its definitely different.

OP, I would stay away from Infusium. Relaxed or natural, that stuff made my hair feel icky. I think the formula is different, I'm not sure.

 

[Nonie]

Ladylady, I haven't read all your the other responses, but I wondered if you've ever washed your hair in tiny twists. I do NOT ever wash my hair out of braids or twists. If I do, it takes me forever to deal with it which is why I don't do it. I might take out a few twists to do a demo of texture but you will never find me washing my entire head of hair out of twists. Which is why wash day is a blast and a breeze for me.

As for brillo pad hair...I dunno. I wish I could see your niece's hair. When I met up with my mom, her hair was hard and rough and seemed so dry. After I got her to simplify her regimen, it's as soft as I always knew it could be. Have you ever tried using products that don't coat your niece's hair (that means saying no to CON shampoo) and getting it really clean, then conditioning with something like AUSSIE Deee...p. And then ACV rinsing (very dilute!!!). Hair should be in twists. Then let it airdry and baggy. No products. Just baggy. Does the hair still feel like brillo the next day?

Now apply something like Hawaiian silky...or S Curl spray. Don't worry if it feels rough later in the day. Just baggy again. Does the hair continue to feel like brillo the next day?

Honestly, creams, shea butter, oils...will leave my hair feeling hard and rough once they dry. But the two products I mention do not. Also, conditioning and baggying and ACV rinses seem to be the secret to my hair staying soft. Less is more.

What about baggying with just coconut oil?

 

[DozenRoses99]

ladylady, does your hair do well with Infusium? It has a ton of protein in it, and it always made my hair gummy and tangly. I was just wondering if you had any issues with it, because natural hair doesn't need as much protein as relaxed hair.

As far as your question, no, I don't think anyone has hair so difficult that they HAVE to us chemicals, because I think "difficult" is relative.

ITA! Proteins are a BIG no-no for me since I started my natural journey.

I think that the key is finding out which products really work for you. For me, moisturizing products help my hair tremendously.

 

[kurlybella]

Ladylady, I haven't read all your the other responses, but I wondered if you've ever washed your hair in tiny twists. I do NOT ever wash my hair out of braids or twists. If I do, it takes me forever to deal with it which is why I don't do it. I might take out a few twists to do a demo of texture but you will never find me washing my entire head of hair out of twists. Which is why wash day is a blast and a breeze for me.

As for brillo pad hair...I dunno. I wish I could see your niece's hair. When I met up with my mom, her hair was hard and rough and seemed so dry. After I got her to simplify her regimen, it's as soft as I always knew it could be. Have you ever tried using products that don't coat your niece's hair (that means saying no to CON shampoo) and getting it really clean, then conditioning with something like AUSSIE Deee...p. And then ACV rinsing (very dilute!!!). Hair should be in twists. Then let it airdry and baggy. No products. Just baggy. Does the hair still feel like brillo the next day?

Now apply something like Hawaiian silky...or S Curl spray. Don't worry if it feels rough later in the day. Just baggy again. Does the hair continue to feel like brillo the next day?

Honestly, creams, shea butter, oils...will leave my hair feeling hard and rough once they dry. But the two products I mention do not. Also, conditioning and baggying and ACV rinses seem to be the secret to my hair staying soft. Less is more.

What about baggying with just coconut oil?

i'm going to wash again this weekend and do them in twists. i always wash in sections -- with ponys -- but i like this idea. i think shortiedowop does this too. this may just be my saving grace!!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

What the heck is texlaxing anyway?? I've seen that word for a long time but never found a concrete answer...

There's a million definitions but IMHO it's using a relaxer to texturize instead of using a texturizer kit.

If you leave the relaxer on less than the specified time, the hair underprocesses and leaves a looser version of the original curl pattern.

 

[Neith]

There's a million definitions but IMHO it's using a relaxer to texturize instead of using a texturizer kit.

If you leave the relaxer on less than the specified time, the hair underprocesses and leaves a looser version of the original curl pattern.

Yeah, that's what it was for the longest time.

Now people tend to use "texturized" for hair that has been processed for a shorter amount of time and has more of the natural texture. Texlaxed tends to be used for people who are not fully relaxed, but lost a lot of their natural texture.

I personally don't separate texlax and texturized, so a lot of the time they are just synonyms too.

we always have to complicate things.

 

[SEMO]

I knew a girl when I was in college that wore a short pixie cut. Every week when she washed her hair, she ran some relaxer thru her hair . This was waaay before I knew anything about decent hair care.

People used to make fun of how 'bad' her hair was, since she needed to perm it every week.

This seriously made me cringe. I can't even imagine this.

I don't think anyone has to relax/texlax but I don't look down on anyone for wanting to. It's another styling option. But saying anyone (regardless of texture) needs to relax perpetuates the myth in the black community that there are certain "grades" of hair and some grades aren't acceptable in their natural state. I think this fear is why more women don't go natural.

I've had people who admired my hair, and said they wished they could be natural. When I encourage them to try it they say no b/c they don't have the same "grade" of hair as I do.

 

[1QTPie]

This seriously made me cringe. I can't even imagine this.

I don't think anyone has to relax/texlax but I don't look down on anyone for wanting to. It's another styling option. But saying anyone (regardless of texture) needs to relax perpetuates the myth in the black community that there are certain "grades" of hair and some grades aren't acceptable in their natural state. I think this fear is why more women don't go natural.

I've had people who admired my hair, and said they wished they could be natural. When I encourage them to try it they say no b/c they don't have the same "grade" of hair as I do.

That right there ticks me off. Hopefully by now people know not to say that stupid crap to me anymore.

 

[Ivy Santolina]

I used to think of my hair as difficult but I believe that is because of the media's portrayal of my type of hair. As a child I wished for "good" hair. I was tired of wearing braids and cornrows. Wash 'n Go hair was a dream of mine. As an adult, when I got tired of ruining my hair with relaxers to realize that fruitless dream, I learned that healthy hair is good hair.

Since my dream changed to achieving healthy hair, I learned that no matter what I do to my hair, it is high maintenance. I've had Jheri Curls, relaxed hair (short and medium length), natural loose hair, dreadlocs. My hair grew the longest with the dreadlocs but I couldn't keep up with the grooming demands. My hairline suffered as a result. It would take me four hours to twist the new growth. If there was a salon in my area specializing in loc care I would probably have them to this day. So regardless of whether my hair is natural or chemically processed, it demands a lot of TLC.

As a compromise, I applied a texturizer to my hair. My curl pattern is looser so my ends don't knot up anymore, detangling takes less time and my hair doesn't matte-up as much. I can still wear braids and two-strand twists if I choose too and air-dried my hair looks like a relaxed fro. However, if I don't use the right products, my hair will look like a mess. My no-poo/poo and DC routine did not change (all day). And, yes, I still spend a lot of time on my hair to keep it healthy.

But, I didn't feel like I had to texturize my hair. I chose to texturize my hair because it fits my life-style better.

 

[msa]

Yup. That's why all black people have to relax. Our hair is entirely too difficult to deal with if it doesn't have some kind of chemical to make it more "manageable". Didn't you know we were cursed with brillo pad hair? Oh well, at least we age gracefully. That's something to look forward to.

 

[gymfreak336]

I am not going to tell someone else that isn't or it is because I don't have to go do it everyday. All in all, I do think that alot of people that need a relaxer and need to relax every month don't need too; most of them just don't know what to do with their hair which less than 3 years ago was me.

With all that being said, many naturals start relaxing and find their life easier just as many relaxed heads go natural and find their life easier so its up to you.

 

[Southernbella.]

I actually see a lot of people who I think need to be natural. Example: Real Housewives of Atlanta. Deshawn has 3 pounds of weave and NO hairline. I mean, you can literally see her scalp through the 6 hairs that make up her hairline. It's worse than the chick from Essence. She needs to go natural ASAP.

 

[Foxglove]

I actually see a lot of people who I think need to be natural. Example: Real Housewives of Atlanta. Deshawn has 3 pounds of weave and NO hairline. I mean, you can literally see her scalp through the 6 hairs that make up her hairline. It's worse than the chick from Essence. She needs to go natural ASAP.

Kinda OT but I've been wondering about that woman from Essence. Ellin Lavar shouldn't be advertising she does her hair. To say she has a thinning hairline is the understatement of the century. Mayhaps she should stop cornowing for a while and get something a little more edge friendly

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Her head looks almost Like Michael Myers Mask from Halloween, My goodness that is half her head showing, and I have never seen her hair down. Her hairline starts at her ears.

 

[jennboo]

I actually see a lot of people who I think need to be natural. Example: Real Housewives of Atlanta. Deshawn has 3 pounds of weave and NO hairline. I mean, you can literally see her scalp through the 6 hairs that make up her hairline. It's worse than the chick from Essence. She needs to go natural ASAP.

Ita. Whenever i see a woman with chemically-treated hair, i always think to myslef that she would look so much more beautiful if she wore her hair in its natural state.

But, like so many others have posted, folks are free to do whatever they choose to do with their hair

 

[Musicachic]

This is my first post everyone... Yea! I am new and just joined today.

I think people have all different textures that have varying degrees of difficulty. They all can be rocked different ways naturally or with "chemicals."

I know for me I have had my hair relaxed since age 10. Obviously it helped my mom try to do my and my sisters hair before school by cutting back on some time and it helped us style our own hair like if we were at camp or on a school trip, etc.

One thing though that I will admit is that if my hair was to be suddenly all natural I am not sure I would know how to handle it. Meaning to get it to look its best and be manageable I am not sure where I would start. I feel like because I have been relaxed for so long I have lost some of the skill and handy work it takes to make natural hair look nice. I have never been good at doing my own hair as far as putting it up or braiding, etc because I cannot keep my braids straight or make them all look the same etc.

If I had kids I think I would be able to re-establish those skills. I can always do other peoples hair better than my own because I am not reaching over in a awkward way. But I do think if I had natural hair I would have to learn how to manipulate it so I wouldn't be looking crazy. I think people adapt to their hair in which ever condition it is in. You have to.

I hope my first post helps me make friends!?!

 

[NYAmicas]

This is my first post everyone... Yea! I am new and just joined today.

I think people have all different textures that have varying degrees of difficulty. They all can be rocked different ways naturally or with "chemicals."

I know for me I have had my hair relaxed since age 10. Obviously it helped my mom try to do my and my sisters hair before school by cutting back on some time and it helped us style our own hair like if we were at camp or on a school trip, etc.

One thing though that I will admit is that if my hair was to be suddenly all natural I am not sure I would know how to handle it. Meaning to get it to look its best and be manageable I am not sure where I would start. I feel like because I have been relaxed for so long I have lost some of the skill and handy work it takes to make natural hair look nice. I have never been good at doing my own hair as far as putting it up or braiding, etc because I cannot keep my braids straight or make them all look the same etc.

If I had kids I think I would be able to re-establish those skills. I can always do other peoples hair better than my own because I am not reaching over in a awkward way. But I do think if I had natural hair I would have to learn how to manipulate it so I wouldn't be looking crazy. I think people adapt to their hair in which ever condition it is in. You have to.

I hope my first post helps me make friends!?!

Welcome, Musicachic!
ITA with your post!

 

[Casarela]

Hi ,


My hair is a 3c/4a and when stretched I have a decent lenght but the thickness at the bottom of my hair has been giving me a hassle to detangle my hair . Every time I brush my hair my arms hurt. Its a pain in the butt.

However I love the way my hair looks as it grows. Which is my I am sticking to my guns and work with it and take the pain. As it grows its easier to manage. Therefore, I am not thinking of relaxing or texlaxing while I know for a fact if I would texlax I would be able to do my hair much more quickly without killing my arms. Theres a quote in french that we say '' Il Faut souffrir pour etre belle'' and I live by it because im ENDURING MY HAIR. Dont get me wrong im happy with my hair but 30% of the time im like dayuuum.

When I feel like its too much I slap my hair in braids and forget about the whole thing and still take care of it. BY the time I take them out ...oops 1 inch extra which makes it easier.

I know I should keep my hair in braids 24/7 for a full year to avoir manipulating my hair too much but I guess im just too lazy and when I start to miss my hair too mmuch I avoid braids for 1 month or 2 and when I get reaaly FED UP.. braids are my way to go.

So IMHO, when your hair is just too much thikg about how it would look once you reach your goal and when you think of doing something that would change your hair permanently think about it as an open door for a setback so that...that way youll search deep down to find a good alternative. ( Thats what I do)

last night, as i stood in the shower washing my thick natural 4a/b mane...which now i feel might be more 4b...*shrugs*...for 45 minutes, detangling with my denman and washing with sallys hair one, olive oil, i thought about how much i freaking hate my hair when i have to wash it. no, i REALLY DO.

i can brush through a section and then have go back over multiple times to get it good and detangled. it's such a process and my freaking arms gets so tired!

anyway, when i get out of the shower with my hair in the same sections after washing and rinsing, i know that i now have to takle applying infusium 23 and keeping my hair untangled even more so.

it's sooooooooooo tiresome and i dread wash days like the plague!!

my hair is so great when it's dry AFTER i've gone completely through the wash and dry motions. but when i wash it, no matter how moisturizing the conditioner...it's not bone dry but dry enough to give me a headache when having to brush/detangle again and blow dry.

i never let my hair air dry if i don't use my cantu leave in. i didn't use cantu last night because my hair has more swang when i condition with infusium and then flat iron. i blew my hair out last night using the pulling my hair straight method, but i got so tired that i put plats in my hair and went to bed. i'd clocked too many hours to continue messing with my hair. i put my lace wig on today and with flat iron it out tonight. my first time since hmmm, maybe march april.

anyway, during all this wash day hoopla, i though about my niece. my sister put a texturizer in her hair because her hair is 4bzzzzz and no matter how tender my sister is with my nieces hair and no matter how many moisturizing products she uses, my nieces hair is like brillo. and no, i'm not making that up.

i can emphatize with sisters who have difficult hair to manage.

my hair is just something else i tell ya.

do you think that some people have hair so thick and unruly and overwhelmingly difficult that they just have to relax or texturize?

 

[vestaluv1]

My answer to this is NO... (IMO)!
I don't think anyone HAS TO relax, but I decided to end my transition to natural for convenience.
It would take me forever to detangle my hair on wash days and after starting a new job with a long commute and long hours, I just didn't have the time to deal with my hair in its semi natural state.
Being relaxed, I don't have to plait my hair so much, detangle for hours and think about how I'm going to wear my hair... I can just throw it back in a bun easily.
When I come to a time in my life where I have enough time, I think I will transition again.
Thats how it is for me!

 

[Vinyl]

I think it depends. I've thought of texlaxing because I'm tender headed and it's hard for me to comb my own hair because it hurts so much. I have to take pain killers every time I get my hair done. So relaxing would definitely help me out in the long run I think... on the other hand when I had a relaxer before I had crazy breakage, so I'm still natural.

 

[envybeauty]

some folks don't know what difficult is especially if they do not have extremely coarse 4b hair.

i see this lack of "understanding" all the time on here. *sigh*

Carry on.

 

[loved]

Unless I want to look like a member of the Evans family (excluding Thelma), YES. And yes in that if some people want styling options outside of a TWA, then a relaxer is a help. There is no such thing as "HAVE TO" when it comes to hair.

 

[bettytoo]

i got 4a hair at the at the back and 4b at the front.my back hair was always easliy to comb and manage .but the front was hard to manage and would break the comb.i was natural for 5 years. i i learn to love my hair.but combing it was hard work .so i decided to textizer it a bit. it's made my hair soft and it easy to comb. but it still looks afro and reacts like afro hair. so I'm happy. i think women get relaxers because they rarely see african descent women without straight hair in the media.and see as more beautiful hair to have it promoted heavly.also i think lots of people don't know how to cornrow ,or style afro hair.so it the easy option to slap a relaxer in their hair.and it easy to manage and comb the hair. the only thing you have to worry about is your hair getting overprocessed, relaxer burns and breakage.but everything got plus and negative side. its personally choice[/B]

 

[cocoberry10]

I don't think anyone HAS to do anything to their hair, but for personal reasons, you may DECIDE that relaxing/texlaxing is right for you.

I understand what you are saying. Some parts of my hair are like that, so I have to use EXTRA care with it.

What I would rather see are products created that allowed people to do all the various styles that they wanted with ease, rather than people hating the hair God gave them or being generally frustrated with it! There's nothing wrong with your hair, it's just a matter of figuring out how to work with it (not against it)

 

[Puddles]

No.

I believe that most people who have such trouble with their natural hair are fighting with their hair too much. My cousin has natural hair that can be EXACTLY like a brillo pad. The best styles for her are braids and cornrows. I believe that everyone can find a hair style that works with their texture.

The only time when a perm is necessary IMO is when you want to wear your hair straight more than you want to wear it natural AND you have a texture of hair that would make that extremely difficult and time consuming.

No one NEEDS a chemical relaxer, it's all about preference.

That's it right there. I like wearing my hair straight. And with the way I sweat....having natural hair is not an option.
I've been a sweater since birth. And wearing ponytails as I did as a child is definitely not an option. I relaxed once I got older and wanted to wear my hair down.

 

[Puddles]

some folks don't know what difficult is especially if they do not have extremely coarse 4b hair.

i see this lack of "understanding" all the time on here. *sigh*

Carry on.

So do I.