Do u ever get depressed about your hair?

[Saida]

I'm just so depressed right now guys

I feel like this hole hair thing is just really getting to me, thats ALL I ever talk about, my hair this and my hair that, I can't think about anything else, I spend hours watching hair on youtube, and I just feel like everone is so at peace with their hair and know what they are doing, but I just dont know what I want, one day I want it relaxed the next natural, Im so confused

I dont even know why I am writing this but I just hope that somehow someone can say something to make me feel better.

Also I wanted to go to a hair salon, but then my friend said, they might say my hair is so damaged that they need to cut it

 

[rsmith]

I am sorry that you are depressed about your hair. I get sad when I think my hair dont look like others but we got to learn to appreciate our own qualities. It's going to get better, one day at a time.

 

[drjo91]

Man i feel you!!! I am hair obsessed!

 

[NYAmicas]

*Hugs*
I get depressed when my hair is looking a mess and when my styles dont come out right.
I get depressed about my hair when my NG is out of control and my hair is too thick to do anything with it and I dont do ponytails.

 

[lilsparkle825]

the internet in my apartment complex got disconnected for a month and a half, so whenever i wanted to get online i had to go to the computer lab. this was right around the time the semester started, so needless to say hair/LHCF were the least of my concerns...lol

but seriously, if you remove yourself from it for a while and just focus on your current situation instead of where everyone else is and where you wanna be it'll get better. i was soooo worried about making APL till i couldn't get online and see all this droolworthy hair. after that my focus became making my hair look good every day and trying out what worked for ME. you'll be depressed a lot less

 

[Amerie123]

its okay. We all have our moments (well most of us, I know I do) where we feel we are not to thrilled about our hair. And I definitely feel you on the hair obsession. I think I may have it worst than anyone on LHCF. My friends are probably tired of me talking about hair, so I try not to talk about it so much. But it's like, I've been hair obsessed for a long while (i.e. if anyone ask me where do i see myself 5 yrs from now, I always start out with saying, well, my hair is gonna be cute, etc. and yeah, I joke, but a piece of me really feels that way), and finding LHCF made my obsession worst (not that its a bad thing-for me).
But, just try to take it easy on yourself. With all this good advice on this board, I'm sure everyone, including yourself can take a little out of it. But, just take it one day at a time, and try to find a good regimen, and enjoy your hair and all it's qualities. Honestly, try not to stress about it so much, and you will feel so much better. That's what I had to do, because I've been there.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

I get more impatient than depressed..I want my hair to hurry on up and be APL! But I know it takes time and care, and I am only on month 2 of my healty hair crusade...just think of where our hair will be 4-8-12 months from now! Hang in there!

 

[MissNina]

I'm just so depressed right now guys

I feel like this hole hair thing is just really getting to me, thats ALL I ever talk about, my hair this and my hair that, I can't think about anything else, I spend hours watching hair on youtube, and I just feel like everone is so at peace with their hair and know what they are doing, but I just dont know what I want, one day I want it relaxed the next natural, Im so confused

I dont even know why I am writing this but I just hope that somehow someone can say something to make me feel better.

Also I wanted to go to a hair salon, but then my friend said, they might say my hair is so damaged that they need to cut it

erplexed I think you should take a hair break

Lately I get a little annoyed and impatient with how long it's taking me to get to BSL, but not depressed. Definitely not depressed! As long as you have hair on your hair on your head you should be thankful. I think a lot about my hair (otherwise would I really be on this forum?) but I know how to check myself and remember that it's JUST hair. It can be cut and grow back. Whatever the case may be. Skin and hair are my two "things" but there is only so much I can do. Or care to deal with.

 

[TaurusAngel]

I wouldn't say i get depressed, but i do sometimes feel down about my hair. Sometimes i just hate it. My hair grows slow and then when it does grow, i have to cut some because of damage. It takes patience and lots of it. I try not to look at other's hair unless i'm looking for inspiration. I don't look if i know its going to upset me. Just hang in there, it'll get better. Or maybe take a break from it and just K.I.S.S.

 

[msdeevee]

I'm depressed about my hair right now but I'm not letting it consume my life.

I am experiencing dryness and a set back from where I was (APL) because of trying to lighten my hair for the Summer.

Now, I'm looking at all the Fotkis and pics of you ladies with natural hair and my hair type that have bra strap length and more . I was checking out Pinkskates tonight with her long natural hair.

I feel like I don't even know what to do to start over.

That's why I've been on here all night just about. I at least decided that I'm going to re-read Cathy Howses book to know where to start again.

Like everyone says its just hair, it'll grow back (I HOPE!!)

 

[Violets-are-blue]

I understand. I used to be pretty depressed about my hair because it felt and seemed subpar. But as I took more care with it, I felt empowered sorta...like I was getting somewhere. But, I'm still figuring it out little by little as I go along. So it's okay.

Know that it takes time. and patience. Everyone had to start somewhere, the long/healthy hair doesn't just happen overnight. Many were where you are, struggling and figuring it out.So don't try to let it rule your life or think that your hair's growing slow. It's growing at the rate it's suppose to. And in the end, it's just hair. Take care of it for however much time it takes you during the week, then go do other things. Then, eventually, you'll turn around and be surprised that your hair is healthier by your efforts. Of course, it'll take monitoring and maintenance. But don't spend your worries on your hair. Life's so much more than that.

Taking care of your hair should be a joy for you. Because it's like taking care of a part of yourself. When it crosses to becoming something that gives you stress and depression, then there's something wrong. So don't let it get you down.

And don't worry about not knowing whether to relax or be natural. That's a big decision, and so I don't think it's fair to expect yourself to just know. It takes alot of consideration.

 

[Saida]

thanks for your replies, I know it's just hair, but I really feel like thats the only thing bringing me down right now

 

[XXXtacy]

I completely understand. My hairdresser has been so patient with me. My friends are sick of hearing my problems about my hair when some wish they were in my shoes.

Keep your head up Queen, :Rose:.

We will make it through. A lot of good advice here on the board add a little bit of patience and a whole lot of prayer things will look better.

I'm just so depressed right now guys

I feel like this hole hair thing is just really getting to me, thats ALL I ever talk about, my hair this and my hair that, I can't think about anything else, I spend hours watching hair on youtube, and I just feel like everone is so at peace with their hair and know what they are doing, but I just dont know what I want, one day I want it relaxed the next natural, Im so confused

I dont even know why I am writing this but I just hope that somehow someone can say something to make me feel better.

Also I wanted to go to a hair salon, but then my friend said, they might say my hair is so damaged that they need to cut it

 

[locabouthair]

Yes I have.

I was in high school and my hair had gotten so damaged I had not choice but to cut it to nape length. It was so short I had not choice but to wear it slicked back.

People would come up to me all the time and be like,"when is your hair gonna grow back?", "Why dont you try growing out?" Like ****, you think I like walking aroung with my hair looking like this I'd hear people behind saying, "omg look at her hair". I've been though it. It was so bad, I'd come home crying so many times. One time I came home crying from the salon, and my mom called the hairdresser. I didnt want to go out anymore. If there was a day where I didnt have to go anywhere I was relieved. My self esteem was an all time low. I would walk with my head down.

Saida, I definitely know how you feel. But I've seen pics of your hair before and I wish I had your hair. Is there something about your hair that you are not happy with? I think you have a lovely head of hair.

 

[jahzyira]

gurl ... i understand what your going through some days when i look at my hair i jus wanna but im more p*ssed than anything! Im irritated that i didnt do enough research on the internet to find this forum before relaxing my virgin hair all in one sitting im mad at myself that i neglected protective hairstyles which forced me to consistently trim a years worth of progress(i couldn't stand my chewed up ends) and my hair now... a complete tragedy if it wasnt for all the conditioners i use my hair would definitely be

 

[LadyPaniolo]

(((((((Saida)))))))) I'm sorry you are feeling down about your hair... I have been there, for real. People used to point and laugh and talk LOUDLY about how jacked up my head was. It was just that serious. And now, while my hair isn't all amazing like some ladies on here, it is APL and very healthy. Time, along with some effort and patience, will heal all.

 

[unalteredone]

I wouldn't say that i get depressed, but i get very discouraged and frustrated. All i can think about is how this style or that style would be possible/look better if my hair were longer, but i can't control how fast my hair grows. I'm in a tight spot because i like wearing my hair down/straight (ie using heat) but at the same time i know that i need to cut it down to a minimum if i want to retain length...i just feel torn between looking the way i want to look NOW and looking how i want to look in the FUTURE. I was feeling good about everything until now... when my NG is kicking and nothing seems to work the way i want it to...ughh. I'm 6+ months into my journey and i feel like i havent made much progress at all.

 

[cutenaynay]

girl you are bless and don't you forget that. Don't let someone's word make you feel limited. Your not limited, O.K!! Your not you can acheive any goal you set for yourself, but you have to have strong faith that it will come through. Everyone feels down about something here and there but look at the other things that is going on in your life and what you have now and appreciate that.Your hair is not the most important thing in the world. I understand if your hair not looking then you don't feel good. Just occupy yourself with other things, so you won't think about it that much. Also pray about it and make a good regimen for yourself and stick with it. Hope this help.

 

[*Muffin*]

I used to get depressed over my hair when, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my ends to retain moisture. It may sound silly, but I almost felt l like a failure at my hair care journey. I wondered why I couldn't have nice, lush ends like everyone else. Instead my ends looked like a cats tail when they've seen a dog . But then, thanks to the ladies on this board, I discovered what was causing my hair to behave that way. For starters I live in a hard water area, and even though my hair was growing the hard water was affecting my hair's appearance and manageability. Also I discovered I was combing my hair entirely too often. I've drastically reduced how much I comb (combing now only once a week on wash days with a wide-toothed comb) and that helped. Then, finally, I discovered shea butter and my ends have thanked me ever since. Now my ends look normal and not like they stand on end, so I'm not as depressed. What is it in particular that depresses you about your hair? Maybe it's something that can be remedied.

 

[Zawaj]

(((((((Saida)))))))) I'm sorry you are feeling down about your hair... I have been there, for real. People used to point and laugh and talk LOUDLY about how jacked up my head was. It was just that serious. And now, while my hair isn't all amazing like some ladies on here, it is APL and very healthy. Time, along with some effort and patience, will heal all.

The bolded made me sad .

Saida: It will definitely get better, insha Allah. I used to get really depressed about hair a few years ago but now while my hair and general appearance are still of utmost importance I just try to take things in my stride.

 

[ycj]

I'm just so depressed right now guys

I feel like this hole hair thing is just really getting to me, thats ALL I ever talk about, my hair this and my hair that, I can't think about anything else, I spend hours watching hair on youtube, and I just feel like everone is so at peace with their hair and know what they are doing, but I just dont know what I want, one day I want it relaxed the next natural, Im so confused

I dont even know why I am writing this but I just hope that somehow someone can say something to make me feel better.

Also I wanted to go to a hair salon, but then my friend said, they might say my hair is so damaged that they need to cut it

Yes I get very depressed about my hair seeing that I am buying this and that growth aids along with taking vitamins and conditioning treatments as well. But sometimes I think maybe my hair right now is in the resting phase. I don't get it!!!! My nails are growing like crazy long, but my hair is'nt moving!!! Darn right I am depressed!!!! Some tell me to be patient, and wait 90 days, but this is a bit ridiculous!!!! I have not made progress. I see now I have no choice but to be patient and wait it out! I also have given it alot of thought about transitioning, but I am just so dang tenderheaded I don't think I can take it long. But I also pray everynight to God before and after I found LCHF and He has lead me here, so I know I am making progress. I've learned alot about proper hair care for black women, and I know it's just a matter of time before I begin to see growth, so I am not giving up this venture.....just a bit discouraged most of the time.

 

[Auburn]

Turn that frown upside down!
We can help you with your damage

 

[Akemi]

I COMPLETELY understand. I had synthetic twists in my hair for 2 months. It was supposed to help, right? Nope. Even though I moisturized the twists daily, when I took them out my hair was soooooo dry and my hair has been extremely dry for almost a month so I've been having breakage. I've tried everything -- DC multiple times, steaming, chelating, and a protein treatment. Nothing works. The conditioners that used to work don't work anymore. After doing research I think that my hair has become overly porous somehow. So I've been using Roux Porosity Control. No change. Nothing makes my hair soft. I've been having lots of breakage, too, so on Saturday night I trimmed about 1/2 inch. I feel like none of my products work anymore. And my hairstyles aren't cute either since I've been trying low manipulation. Sigh. And all the styles I want to do with my hair require longer hair. My twist-outs aren't even coming out the way they used to for some reason. I don't see how I'll ever get to APL with all of this going on.

I'm sorry. I just had to vent. I totally understand you, OP.

 

[complexsimplicity]

yes. i feel like my hair hasn't made any progress. it's been almost 6 months and my hair has barely budged. but i'm gonna keep trying though. i can get that salon swing by myself with a good rollerset and a wrap. my hair is as soft as ever and i've been able to do more styles then before. since i've discoverd bantu knots and pincurls my life is good. but i won't b happy until i reach bsl. h3ll, i'll b happy when i can reach my shoulders comfortably.

 

[Country gal]

I use to get depressed about my hair before coming to the board. The other day I was feeling down because I gave my hair a two month break, it was not quite APL. I got out of the funk, when I realized I am getting closer to my goal.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

i get very discouraged and frustrated when I see my progress versus other folks progress................but I have to just let it go.

I hope you start to feel better about your hair.

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Cichelle]

It's been my experience that comparing my hair to other people's hair or comparing my "hair growing journey" to other people's experience is a recipe for disaster...or rather depression. The more I tried to get my hair to do or not do things it does or does not do naturally, the more frustrated, down or mad I'd get. I'm not saying you do that. I'm just offering my own experience.

There is a general standard of hair beauty that, although rejected by some, is still there, sometimes like an elephant in the room. I really had to work on redefining what beautiful hair is to me. Not just saying it. But really re-working it and being realistic about what I wanted with my own hair.

Now there have been some times that I thought I did everything right, but my hair still didn't look as healthy or nice as I wanted or expected. Those times are highly frustrating. It's like: But I don't use heat! I treat my hair like expensive silk fabric! I always wear protective styles! So, why does my hair look like GARBAGE!!!!! I know I've had those feelings, but these days I tell myself that those frustrations will pass. I go through phases. I know that now. Sometimes I just have to practice benign neglect with my hair and move onto other things for a while.

I would bet that there are not so many people who are at complete peace with their hair. Lots of people just don't talk or write about how they really feel at times. When I'm down about my hair, the last thing I want to do is write about it on a message board or forum. Believe me, you are far from the only one who feels like you do.

I'm sorry you're feeling down and I hope that soon you will feel better!

 

[tiffupretty]

i know what you mean..ive been there...it really can take away from self confidence!!! But like with any dark time....there will be light.

 

[aurora3140]

I have been at this since highschool lurking on the old Yahoo boards, but I just started LHCF at the end of 2006 with full shoulder length hair. I have yet to reach full APL. I was there for a very brief moment this summer, but I got it cut back to full shoulder because breakage in my nape made it look too thin.

Now, I'm an inch away from APL and it's thinning again. I blowdried and flatironed my hair only twice since the second week of September, but I guess that was enough to cause severe breakage. My last relaxer, I switched to no-Lye at my hairdresser's suggestion. He said it would better suit my fine, curly hair. This may be the culprit, but IDK.

Please don't be discouraged! There are days I just want to cut my hair back to shoulder and maintain it there, but I just try to keep my goal in mind.

I WILL get there and so will you!

 

[deafprincess2007]

I always get DEPRESSED every time I get a TRIM. Because it always make me feel that my hair's taking TOO TOOO TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long to grow out!