Do you have a "long hair mentality" or a "short hair mentality"?

[robot.]

i guess i would be in the middle. i'm not interested in cutting and coloring my hair to fit with any trends, but also i'm not interested in the extra measures most take to get long hair, like no heat, all natural products, and 365 protective styles. i do like to use heat on my hair every week or two, and i wear it down. i'm not really good at styling, so manipulation is not that much of a problem for me. i guess i have a relaxed approach to hair growing since my only hair goal is APL, which i always had before the bc. so i can just enjoy my hair as it is even if it never passes apl.​

I definitely agree with you on this. I never had any intentions of protective styling, DC'ing regularly, or not using heat. I just planned to let my hair go free.

But I know if I do start really styling, all of that will have to change.

 

[msa]

I'm a shorthair mentalist, and I think a lot of Black women are.

I agree...and I see it a lot here on this board. Not that I'm saying people aren't willing to do what it takes to get long hair, just that it seems that many people do just the opposite of what it would take to reach their own goals.

 

[JJamiah]

I feel I have short hair, because my hair used to be MBL-WL and I chopped it all off (SELF CLIPPED TO LOWEST CLIPPER LEVEL ON A HAIR CLIPPER) so to me it is SHORT like snap my fingers even thought it is APL going to BSL now.

 

[Ramya]

I agree...and I see it a lot here on this board. Not that I'm saying people aren't willing to do what it takes to get long hair, just that it seems that many people do just the opposite of what it would take to reach their own goals.

But who says that's what it takes? there are women who have grown their hair long and kept it long BEFORE the hair boards. If your hair is breaking off, clearly you're doing something wrong but if it's not... why would hair board practices matter? who makes these rules into hair law?

 

[andromeda]

Interesting. I know I definitely used to have a short/styled hair mentality - it was all about style, fashion and cut. This mentality is partly why I would get long-haired weaves - I liked having long hair for a couple of months and switching it up to a short bob or even fauxhawk and then back again. This back and forth didn't seem compatible with growing out my long hair naturally.

I'm not sure if I've completely crossed over to the minimalist long hair mentality but I am more focused on hair [and holistic] health now.

What I'm basically getting from the quoted post is that short hair mentality = high manipulation, with an emphasis on style (based on extrinsic standards) over health, while long hair mentality = low manipulation, with an emphasis on health over style (based on intrinsic standards) . ETA: Maybe a better way to describe it is manipulated vs. minimalist/naturalist, or something along those lines.

 

[Soliel185]

I've always had a full head of hair and having BCed this year and back on the path to regaining it. "Big hair" is a part of me.

Because of this, hair is not spiritual for me. It became a battle to deal with others mindsets about hair that isn't on their own head (which they had far too many unsolicited opinion's about). Going through it...I gained no "enlightenment". Just slightly thicker skin.

I don't have a "long hair mentality" (I'M NOT KNOCKING IT EITHER! To each their own!). Lots of hair has always been a part of me. If my hair was not voluminous (when grown out) and so forth, I'd accept whatever that was. If I looked best with a TWA...I'd keep one. If I was born with locs (as in my hair magically grew out of massive follicles as locks ), I'd rock them stupid. If my hair was poker straight...I'd never curl it.

I simply want to be me. Completely.

Turns out, "lotsa (natural) hair" is a part of that.

Just this week I learned my final lesson in my hair color. I always thought if I was a true brunette like my mother (not naturally blue/black haired) I would seem warm, delicate and soft.

Raven hair is simply what I was meant to have. Not brunette. Not "dark brown". Nope.

It's:
ALL ENCOMPASSING BLACK HOLE BLACK , SUCK THE LIGHT OUT OF A ROOM BLACK , NO MATTER HOW BRIGHT THE LIGHT I REALLY DO NOT HAVE ANY HIGHLIGHTS WHATSOEVER BLACK erplexed, MAKES BIGEN LOOK LIKE OFF GREY BLACK, A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY BLACK , GOOD GOOGLY-MOOGLY BLACK, CAN COOK AN EGG ON IT IF I STAND OUT IN THE SUN BLACK, MY SCALP HAS NEVER FELT A UV RAY...EVER BLACK.

And so it shall stay.

Just returning to me, is what "growing it out" is about now.

No matter what society, my family or my associates think.

I think you have long hair mentality and just don't know it.

Someone with "short hair mentality" would insist on continuing to dye their hair brown, or would insist upon religiously curling their hair even though it was naturally poker straight.

I think some folks with SHM are constantly out to look like or embody someone else or a certain persona -- namely one they saw in a magazine. Just to clarify - I don't think that means they 'hate themselves' or anything like that. Hair is one way that many people experiment with different facets of their personalities.

If having 'lots of hair' excludes someone from the LHM group then I need to pack my bags. My mom got heartburn with she was pregnant with me b/c I had so much hair (per the Dr.) I was literally BORN with a full fro. I have a picture of me at 6 months old lookin like a little troll doll (not in the face ) gut, fat legs, and fro included.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

Hmm..."medium-hair mentality" before LHCF. I didn't rely on hairdressers and quick fixes, nor was I easily bored with my hair with a constant need for change. I just sucked at haircare. I have a long-hair mentality now.

 

[Soliel185]

Interesting. I know I definitely used to have a short/styled hair mentality - it was all about style, fashion and cut. This mentality is partly why I would get long-haired weaves - I liked having long hair for a couple of months and switching it up to a short bob or even fauxhawk and then back again. This back and forth didn't seem compatible with growing out my long hair naturally.

I'm not sure if I've completely crossed over to the minimalist long hair mentality but I am more focused on hair [and holistic] health now.

What I'm basically getting from the quoted post is that short hair mentality = high manipulation, with an emphasis on style (based on extrinsic standards) over health, while long hair mentality = low manipulation, with an emphasis on health over style (based on intrinsic standards) .

I'm not low mani to keep my hair healthy, really. I love having healthy hair, but I could probably do lots of stuff to it and keep it relatively healthy. I'm low-mani mostly b.c I'm lazy.

I was that way looooong before the hair boards and I'll probably stay that way long after too. It's not spiritual to me, though I do feel some kinda way when I see that fro profile, it's just a matter of my not feeling the need to constantly make huge changes when it comes to my hair.

 

[gymfreak336]

Interesting thread Msa.

How I define a "long hair mentality" is a little different than the OP.

To me, a long hair mentality is letting go of your hang ups about your hair. Being honest with anaylizing your hair and making peace with what you think are its negatives and weakness. Creating and developing ways to maximize what you have without becoming obessed with an ideal that might not be in the cards for you. It is accepting that the hair "ideal" we can all achieve is healthy hair. It might not be super long, it might not be super thick, it might not be perfect ringlets or waves, but it will be the best it can be for you. It is really believing you can grow your hair and not carrying a chip on your shoulder about what others think your hair can do. Your actions reflect your desire to prove things to yourself, not other people.

To me that is a long hair mentality.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

i also notice a lot of hairstylists at salons have short-hair mentality, transferring that onto the heads of their clients.

This is so True.

That's why when I became a Total DIY, I repented for each and every stylist I had up in my hair and the things they may have "Transferred."

I am now a very Firm Believer, You Do Have to Be Most Careful Who you "Allow" To be Up in Your Hair.

 

[msa]

But who says that's what it takes? there are women who have grown their hair long and kept it long BEFORE the hair boards. If your hair is breaking off, clearly you're doing something wrong but if it's not... why would hair board practices matter? who makes these rules into hair law?

See, I'm not saying there are "hair rules" at all.

My point was that I see a lot of people set something as their goal...maybe WL for argument's sake. But then they do lots of things that make reaching that goal almost impossible.

And just like the original post said, there are many spots on the spectrum. I totally think someone can relax and have a long hair mentality...or that someone can wear their hair down every day and have a long hair mentality. Different strokes for different folks.

But, it appears to me that a lot of people are doing too many of the "wrong" things for their hair and that's what's stopping them from reaching their goals. And I think that's related to the short haired mentality.

 

[Kneechay]

But who says that's what it takes? there are women who have grown their hair long and kept it long BEFORE the hair boards. If your hair is breaking off, clearly you're doing something wrong but if it's not... why would hair board practices matter? who makes these rules into hair law?

Ramya,
I really don't think it's as complicated as you are making it seem in this response. Perhaps the reason those women who've kept longer hair BEFORE boards had long hair mentality. Maybe?

Honestly, the social issues regarding hair care, and especially black hair, has caused a lot of damaged, shorter, heads of hair.

I don't think MSA meant that there's just one cut and dry indisputable way to grow long hair, but a mindset. Clearly, hair board practices matter if lots of women are coming to (and remaining on) LHCF and seeing changes/improvements.

 

[thehairmaverick]

Now I'm in a long hair mentality...but in high school- DEF short hair mentality. I had to have the latest hairstyle (not all, but most), I was scissor happy, I paid my stylist sooo much money for everything she did, and I HAD to get my hair done every two weeks.

Now that I'm in college and broke and 250 miles away from my stylist, I am definitely in the long hair mentality. I'm learning to take care of my hair and let it do what it do naturally.

...honestly, the short hair mentality was breaking the bank!

 

[msa]

Interesting thread Msa.

How I define a "long hair mentality" is totally different than the OP.

To me, a long hair mentality is letting go of your hang ups about your hair. Being honest with anaylizing your hair and making peace with what you think are its negatives and weakness. Creating and developing ways to maximize what you have without becoming obessed with an ideal that might not be in the cards for you. It is accepting that the hair "ideal" we can all achieve is healthy hair. It might not be super long, it might not be super thick, it might not be perfect ringlets or waves, but it will be the best it can be for you. It is really believing you can grow your hair and not carrying a chip on your shoulder about what others think your hair can do. Your actions reflect your desire to prove things to yourself, not other people.

To me that is a long hair mentality.

See that's what I was trying to get at.

Long hair mentality is different for everyone...but I think accepting your hair, its characteristics, and its limits should definitely be a part of that mindset.

 

[andromeda]

I'm not low mani to keep my hair healthy, really. I love having healthy hair, but I could probably do lots of stuff to it and keep it relatively healthy. I'm low-mani mostly b.c I'm lazy.

I was that way looooong before the hair boards and I'll probably stay that way long after too. It's not spiritual to me, though I do feel some kinda way when I see that fro profile, it's just a matter of my not feeling the need to constantly make huge changes when it comes to my hair.

Girl, I started being low mani partly out of laziness too. I'm transitioning and my hair would look like a HAM if I didn't set it in some sort of style. Between having to set it at least 2x/week, the upkeep involved, the hand in hair syndrome and the fear of doing a disservice to the first fruits of my HHJ (my new growth), I've decided to just braid it up and wig it out!

The quoted post said this:

Hair must be left alone as much as possible, treated carefully and preserved from damage.

Which is what I was referring to but as this thread shows, we all have slightly different ideas of what constitutes a "long hair mentality".

And your fro and your pruff are fierce!!!!

 

[gymfreak336]

See, I'm not saying there are "hair rules" at all.

My point was that I see a lot of people set something as their goal...maybe WL for argument's sake. But then they do lots of things that make reaching that goal almost impossible.

And just like the original post said, there are many spots on the spectrum. I totally think someone can relax and have a long hair mentality...or that someone can wear their hair down every day and have a long hair mentality. Different strokes for different folks.

But, it appears to me that a lot of people are doing too many of the "wrong" things for their hair and that's what's stopping them from reaching their goals. And I think that's related to the short haired mentality.

I agree. The thing though is that, to me, most of the "wrong" things are really the "wrong" thoughts. People become obessed and in their obession stick to a ABC formula out of fear. The thing though is that we are all different; our hair, our lifestyle, our hair styling abilities. We also have to be open ( to a point) in accepting new information and applying it correctly.

For example, everyone CAN'T self relax. I think a lot of people that are self relaxing right now might want to go back to a salon. Being a total DIY person is not for everyone. Be honest with yourself.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

But who says that's what it takes? there are women who have grown their hair long and kept it long BEFORE the hair boards. If your hair is breaking off, clearly you're doing something wrong but if it's not... why would hair board practices matter? who makes these rules into hair law?

i agree with your posts. some of the measures taken here to retain and grow hair do not apply to everyone. i never had to do protective styles, no heat, vitamins, growth aids, and weekly dc'ing to get long hair. so i'm not gonna do it now. i guess this is why i'm so relaxed about my hair growth. i know it'll come even if i do none of those things.​

 

[beans4reezy]

Before LHCF, definitely a short hair mentality. I never thought I could actually grow my hair, so I kept it in a really short Halle Berry cut. When it actually started to grow out, I did anything to keep it looking cute, color, excessive heat, I wore it straight all the time...etc

Now after LHCF, long hair mentality. My hair does not have to conform to being cute. I want healthy, long hair, so that means no heat, protective styling and trying to preserve more of my curl pattern (by going from bone straight to texturized- only slightly altering the curl patten, instead of completely altering it).

I am 30 weeks post now and my family keeps whining and complaining about me not wearing my hair out, not looking cute anymore and not relaxing anymore (my cousin even called me a slob the other day) ; I don't give two cents what they think; my mentality has changed; I want something more.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

See that's what I was trying to get at.

Long hair mentality is different for everyone...but I think accepting your hair, its characteristics, and its limits should definitely be a part of that mindset.

okay i get it now. i definitely have done the bolded. i'm not willing to give up some of my habits that may or may not prevent me from getting past bsl. i accept that. so now any hair length past apl is meh, take it or leave it to me. if i ever decide that i want something past apl or bsl, then i would have to rethink some of the things i do to my hair.

now, am i in the short hair mentality or long hair mentality? ​

 

[MizAvalon]

I have long hair mentality. I dislike most short styles and rarely think women look attractive with shorter hair.

I have never been interested in being trendy or keeping up with all of the maintenance that having short hair requires. I like traditionally classic looks such as buns and chignons.

I wouldn't even know how to handle going to the salon every week trying to keep with some trendy hairstyle.

 

[tocktick]

I have a long hair mentality now more than ever. If you'd have asked me 8 months ago, I would have said I had a long-hair mentality but I clearly didn't. I was less patient, cut hair too often, kept relying on heat styling (blow-outs), dealt with serious issues by throwing on braid extensions etc. I thought long hair was just supposed to come to me after some time because hair just grew, right? Well, any growth I retained was about 60% down to pure luck (after my 1st year of being natural).

My wake-up call was in July/August. It finally dawned on me that through unnecessary trims, lack of patience, neglect etc that I'd cheated myself out of a lot of growth. Despite that, my hair was past APL within 2 years of being natural; I realised this summer that it could have been around BSL if my hair care was on point (as I wouldn't have needed to cut about 2.5" off in May).

All this time I wasn't doing what I needed to achieve the long hair I allegedly wanted so much. I now see the way I treat my hair is like day and night compared to earlier this year and last year. Good thread idea, MSA.

 

[msa]

okay i get it now. i definitely have done the bolded. i'm not willing to give up some of my habits that may or may not prevent me from getting past bsl. i accept that. so now any hair length past apl is meh, take it or leave it to me. if i ever decide that i want something past apl or bsl, then i would have to rethink some of the things i do to my hair.

now, am i in the short hair mentality or long hair mentality? ​

You clearly acknowledge how your habits may or may not affect your hair. Whether you're SH or LH mentality all depends on your goals.

My goal is to have hip length hair...to get there I have to have a LH mentality. Lately I've begun to accept that I'm not going to get there by being lazy and neglecting my hair. But for other people's hair, maybe all they have to do to get there is cowash every day and wear a fro. It all depends on the person and their hair and their goals.

 

[MonPetite]

I think you have long hair mentality and just don't know it.

Someone with "short hair mentality" would insist on continuing to dye their hair brown, or would insist upon religiously curling their hair even though it was naturally poker straight.

I think some folks with SHM are constantly out to look like or embody someone else or a certain persona -- namely one they saw in a magazine. Just to clarify - I don't think that means they 'hate themselves' or anything like that. Hair is one way that many people experiment with different facets of their personalities.

If having 'lots of hair' excludes someone from the LHM group then I need to pack my bags. My mom got heartburn with she was pregnant with me b/c I had so much hair (per the Dr.) I was literally BORN with a full fro. I have a picture of me at 6 months old lookin like a little troll doll (not in the face ) gut, fat legs, and fro included.

Perhaps I do....

To the bolded...ME TOO, LOL!

 

[NikStarrr]

I'm somewhere in the middle. I've really just in the last year decided to grow my hair out and see just how far it will go--and it's been hard. I'm use to changing my hair every couple years or so, whether cut or color. I use to relish not being a "slave" to my hair--but now, I've decided to take a new "journey" and it's not always easy just letting it BE.

 

[Taina]

I have to be in between, I "always" (let say most of the time) had hair between ear and Shoulder lenght (by option), but i also love to make natural things, take good care of my hair, use products/homedes treatments that i know, for experience, will work for me, not believe in pantene or other products promises ...

I have to say that i LOVE short and beautiful styles but in relaxed hair, for naturals, i do believe the biggest the afro, the beautuful it looks.

 

[ladysaraii]

I'm developing a long hair mentality. I always wanted long hair, but never had the mindset. LHCF is changing that. I still have a ways to go, but I'm getting there.

Incidently, can I also have the name of this board?

 

[jamaraa]

Hey folks, there's no rule in stone that you HAVE to jump thru hoops to have long hair. Just learn YOUR hair's needs and roll w/ that. Don't get caught up in beliveing that a complicated reggie is what YOU need. For most BW, I think just handling the hair you have more gently is a HUGE step.

Your thinking will DEF affect your hair. While genetics determine how fast/what color/texture/etc...genetics don't make you glue in a weave and neglect it! That's thinking that makes one do that, or NOT thinking. If you treat your hair harshly, it will look it.

 

[jamaraa]

LHC= the Long Hair Community
forums.longhaircommunity.com
It's a majority WW board, but there are plenty BW, biracial, Arabs, Indians, etc...

 

[carameldelight87]

I think I've had a shorthair mentality for the most part simply because I love change. I love versatility. I think even now as a natural I still love the versatility of being able to straighten my hair if I want. I probably wouldn't do it as often because health is also very important to me.

The shorthair mentality is what keeps the beauty industry thriving. Imagine if EVERYone adopted the longhair mentality and didn't style often. Beauty salons would close all over the place and significant portion of the Black community would enter a new recession...it's amazing how important it is to have balance.

This makes me question, why do I even want long hair, and the only answer I can come up with is style related, so even in my long hair goals I still have a shorthair mentality and I think it's the same for a lot of women on LHCF.

 

[Chromia]

With shorthair mentality, you may never be able to grow long hair because unknowingly, you make it impossible for your hair to grow longer - it will break after a certain length.

I agree. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's one of those things in life that can lead to self-defeating behavior/self-sabotage. I agree with the previous posts that mentioned this type of thinking applies not only to hair, but other things in life. What you expect can influence your behavior and decisions with hair, weight, your job, who you date, etc.

I also agree with the posts about many hairstylists having short-hair mentality and transferring that onto their clients' heads. That reminds me of my former stylist who told me that "some hair just doesn't get any longer" when my hair was not even APL. She didn't give it a chance with her trims and her pressure to trim so often.

Before LHCF I had a short-hair mentality - actually it was more like a shoulder-length hair mentality because that's where my hair was stuck. With long hair hopes and wishes. I never colored my hair or wore different sytles but I went to to a stylist every 2 weeks.　

Now I have a long hair mentality. I don't make my own hair products or use natural products other than coconut oil though, so I agree with the OP about that. I believe that my hair can get longer and I haven't been to a salon in 2 years.

To me long hair mentality means realizing that you can have long hair and it doesn't have to keep breaking, splitting, or whatever else it does. It means that if you don't have the length you want you'll find the techniques, regimen, products, or tools you need to get there.