Does having long hair = having confidence?

[lveurslf]

Does having long hair or the idea of having long hair give you more confidence? I've been asking myself this question and I'm not sure what I think about it. What do you think?

 

[BAILEYSCREAM]

I'm confident anyway. I had long hair and chopped it all off and my confidence was still the same and now it's grown back anyway. But, I like longer hair better.

I think confidence is a state of mind really. But for some people their appearance dictates the way they feel, I guess. So some people feel better if they are skinny/slim instead of weighty/plump. Some people feel better if their hair is long as opposed to short but really it doesn't bother me either way. as long as you're happy within yourself and work towards what makes you feel better, it's all good!

 

[ccd]

Having longer hair now than when I was younger doesn't give me confidence but it sure does make me smile that I have learned to take care of what I have on my head....that I don't have to be a slave to the hairdresser and when I GO to the hairdresser she's asking me " what are you doing to your hair"

Now I can't deny SOME realities....

Longer hair has been considered more feminine in our and many other societies and cultures...so I can't help but feel it ( the attention that is) when someone looks or makes a comment....sometimes it( the attention) is nice, sometimes its not and.....

people do respond differently to me now verses when my hair was healthy but shoulder length or ear length but it doesn't equal ( or give me) confidence.....however, what I have learned in life ( from hair issues to other things) you have to be confident no matter what...

For me, hair growth wasn't even the object of the game, I just knew my hair was unhealthy after years of blowdrying and airdrying incorrectly....I wanted my hair to be healthier....then I noticed growth and then I caught the bug ..........how long can it get

The confidence that you have about yourself and the perception that you have about yourself is what makes or breaks you.

hair doesn't equal confidence to me because there are days a wake up feelin' Blah...regardless of what my hair looks like.

 

[luvlonghair]

No, having long hair doesn't mean confidence. Having long hair is having long hair and nothing else. Having confidence is when your content with yourself. You are confident in all that you do and you don't let anyone influence your thoughts and decisions. At least that what it means to me. HTH

 

[Ayeshia]

i wont lie...it does make me more confident. Not that I solely rely on my hair for my confidence but you get my drift. For instance I cant just leave the house without a pair of earrngs on and Im working like a maniac to keep my skin relatively clear. With hair this short, all of your features are out in the open and you can't hide behind your hair. I find that I am getting less attention than I was a few years ago and I know that it has a little bit to do with the length of my hair.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Honestly, I think it takes more confidence to sport a cropped natural or bald head (like Sinead O'Connor back in the day). When I see women like that, they seem to just exude confidence to me.

It's easier to hide behind long hair, but to actually shave your head and walk into a room, that to me takes confidence and guts. When you consider what is the standard of beauty for most, it involves long flowing locks- a much more European image. To defy that to me says a lot.

I love my long hair, but I admire women with cropped naturals.

 

[Daughter]

Definitely not for me. I've had my hair Halle Berry short and I loved it. If hair had anything to do with my overall confidence, the condition determines that rather than length.

 

[CatSuga]

I would have to say yes.

 

[Isis]

I am very confident as a person no matter what length my hair is or has been. I believe that confidence comes from within first. Having healthy, beautiful hair would add to my joy whether it is long or short.

 

[SherryLove]

it is so refreshing to see that most of you ladies are not equating your selfworth/confidence level to the length of your hair... I Love it!!!!!!!

 

[jainygirl]

Good question . For myself I would have to say no. When my hair was long I felt like it 'carried me' as far as I think it made me look better to other people. Nothing is wrong with that; but when that's the main reason that i chose to keep it long, that in itself seems like low confidence.

Since chopping down to 1/4 of an inch of natural hair from brastrap length i have to say i feel more confident. Someone mentioned that it's easier to hide behind long hair and i think that is very true. Even before i thought about things like having confidence just because my hair is short, people were making comments like, "you are so brave to cut all your hair off so fast" "wow, i wish i had the guts to do that" "you look cute with long or short hair".

I was talking to this girl at work who recently chopped as well WHOO HOOOOOO but she is sporting braids because she is scared of her hair so short, and she took me totally off guard when she made the comment, "you look like a natural hair model with your hair cut like that, it looks cute on you." Now i'm not an ugly duckling or anything but aint NOBODY ever referred to me as no model in any shape or form . I think she was referring to how confident I am and how I carry myself.

Forget about other people I love how i look and i guess it just shows. To me that's confidence. I think my long hair looked good, but maybe it was taking attention away from ME. The funny thing is that now i feel genuinely pretty. Before when I would look in the mirror i would be like, "you only look cute because your hair is long" but now i'm like, "girl what were you thinking?? you look cute because you just ARE." -- jainygirl

 

[missvi]

I love long hair on me. Does it give me confidence no. Three years ago when I was seventeen and needed more confidence I have a very short cut and I still feel good about my self and my hair. But am I vain about my hair that’s other story.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Yes & No...

Long hair usu. brings more attention and more attention does give me an ego boost.

I've had a TWA and most days thought I was the 'ish!

All in all, I think the appearance of my hair is more important than the length. When my hair looks nice whether I have a centimeter or two feet of hair, that makes me feel more confident. No one feels confident when they feel like they look BUSTED!

 

[Leshia]

Definitely not for me. I've had my hair Halle Berry short and I loved it. If hair had anything to do with my overall confidence, the condition determines that rather than length.

you definitely hit the nail on the head for me. when I was cut into a pageboy, i got attention out the wazoo. it just depends on the condition of my hair. i don't have to have shoulder length and beyond to have confidence (if that's even considered long anymore...) *stupid look**

 

[moneychaser]

Nope, I was extremely confient with only 2 inches of hair. If anything my weight plays a major role in my level of confidence

 

[amy1234]

long hair doesn't equal confidence for me. Having long hair is just another goal of mine to "defy that myth"

 

[Dreamn]

Honestly, I think it takes more confidence to sport a cropped natural or bald head (like Sinead O'Connor back in the day). When I see women like that, they seem to just exude confidence to me.

It's easier to hide behind long hair, but to actually shave your head and walk into a room, that to me takes confidence and guts. When you consider what is the standard of beauty for most, it involves long flowing locks- a much more European image. To defy that to me says a lot.

I love my long hair, but I admire women with cropped naturals.

i agree, to be darn near bald would take a lot more confidence to me. but no matter if my hair were short or long, if my hair is a mess, then i just feel a mess.

 

[JenJen2721]

I think I have more confidence with super short hair. I feel so much more beautiful since I cut my hair down to a TWA. I feel like people can see my facial features more clearly now.

 

[skegeesmb]

Nope, I was confient with only 2 inches of hair. If anything my weight plays a major role in my level of confidence

Yup Dana, I agree. I've had short and long, but my weight is what plays into my cofidence. If I blow up, I'm not a happy camper. I'm still confident, but I definately want to change the situation.

I thought I looked cute both ways, but people had their opinions on what they liked. I don't really care about them though.

 

[victorious]

Not really. Having long hair wouldn't boost my confidence because I loved my hair back when it was cut really short a couple of years ago. (I just hated the in-between/growing out stage).

Achieving long, healthy hair is just one of my goals since I never had it before. Just having a good hair day is enough to maintain my confidence. A cute hat/cap can also save the day in emergencies.

 

[aqualung]

if my hair is a mess, then i just feel a mess.

Right. When my hair is styled and worn down in a rollerset or braidout, then I'm most likely to feel vain. If it's just pulled back in a bun or flipped up in a hair claw, that's nothing special.

 

[pookeylou]

I am with the confident short haired ladies. I have had both: Long relaxed hair, short relaxed hair. I was definitely more outgoing with the shorter hair. I got more compliments with the longer hair...but they were simply compliments on my hair. As a shorter hair person...I was more myself. There was more of me to see. More fun, more outgoing, more vibrant and alive.

Now that I am natural, I find that natural hair does for me what short hair did. Because it is still not widely accepted, it forces you to accept yourself. Gain self confidence real quick. Because natural hair is unique...it gives me the freeness to be me. I care less and less what people think of me and I find myself just being myself.

I think if you have long hair, what a luxury. I love it and want to grow and keep my hair. But should I lose it...do to illness or whatever, I hope I have the wherewithall to know that I am still beautiful without it.

 

[jainygirl]

Now that I am natural, I find that natural hair does for me what short hair did. Because it is still not widely accepted, it forces you to accept yourself. Gain self confidence real quick. Because natural hair is unique...it gives me the freeness to be me. I care less and less what people think of me and I find myself just being myself.

Hey Pookey I had to quote you on this because I totally agree. When you do anything that's not running with the grain of what's considered acceptable like wearing your natural hair you HAVE to love yourself. If you enter it still seeking approval from others you will have a long road to walk . -- jainygirl

 

[dreemssold]

I agree that confidence comes from within, and if you have it, you have it, and if you don't, you don't. I also agree that when I see short hair on other women, I admire their confidence. Having had very, very short hair a few times in my life, I think I was equally confident, but I felt differently. Short hair makes me feel sexy, longer hair makes me feel pretty. I can feel equally confident with both...it's just a different kind of confidence. Another thing though that factors in is that with longer hair, even when it's a mess, if I put it a ponytail, I still feel somewhat groomed when I leave the house. With short hair that is a mess, I just wanted to rush to the salon. I'm not sure if all this answers the question or not, but I hth .

 

[lveurslf]

Wow! I must admit, I'm amazed by responses I've read.

CCD- I think you touched on what I was thinking. Realistically, long hair gets a lot of attention and I wondered what effect that has on self confidence. I guess that would be a false sense of self confidence if a woman relied on that sort of attention.

Ayeshia- I respect your honesty.

SouthernGirl, Jainygirl, and Pookeylou- Thank you for your opinions. It was those point of views that humbled me.

When I posed the question to you ladies, I was thinking we all have a certain level of confidence but I wasn't sure if long hair took that confidence to a new level. I was thinking about people who use their hair as a crutch for their confidence (I've come across a few in my day). I'm talking about those who'd never cut their hair b/c their man may find them unattractive or for other silly reasons. Although they'd never admit they lack a certain level of confidence w/o long hair in a way I felt like that's the real reason why they'd be afraid to get it cut.

Then I got to thinking about myself. What would my confidence be like if I grew my hair to my goal? Would I be better off? For me, I think if my hair grows to the length I'd like, I'd probably be feeling myself for about 2 weeks then I'd be back to normal or ready to something else to my hair so in essence no I don't think it'd boost my overall confidence.

 

[kitchen_tician]

Honestly, I think it takes more confidence to sport a cropped natural or bald head (like Sinead O'Connor back in the day). When I see women like that, they seem to just exude confidence to me.

It's easier to hide behind long hair, but to actually shave your head and walk into a room, that to me takes confidence and guts. When you consider what is the standard of beauty for most, it involves long flowing locks- a much more European image. To defy that to me says a lot.

I love my long hair, but I admire women with cropped naturals.

Ditto Hey SG

 

[Boadicea]

The phrase "hiding behind long hair" to me sounds like the person lacks confidence, but not all who have long hair "hide" behind it. When my hair is down, I wear the notorious Veronica Lake part but I'm hardly "hiding" because I'm just as confident when I have my hair swept back in a bun.

In my experience, wearing my hair long took just as much confidence as wearing it short because I've had people come up to me and say "that's not your real hair", "black women don't have hair that long", "where'd you get your weave done?" etc. When it was short, I didn't feel confident because I've never had short hair before, wasn't used to it, and didn't like the way it looked on me. In my eyes, no matter how good and confident I felt on the inside, my outside appearance didn't reflect that.
Currently my hair is short again. I can't even do a basic classic bun so I'm off both the bun and baggie challenge. I feel just as confident today as I did when my hair was earlobe-length and when my hair was butt-length.

I got over whatever stigma anyone would put on my hair (because people have opinons about any and every thing) and got over my own hair in general. Now I focus on keeping it clean and healthy. When it comes to my hair, that's what gives me confidence (as to my hair, meaning simply that I know my hair looks good because it's healthy), not whether it's long or short.

Though I have seen some women who appear to hold the belief that long hair makes them more confident. I've witnessed women swinging their long hair directly in the face of shorter-haired women with a look on their face as if they were somehow superior (just a few days ago at the salon as well as other places).

I just think they're crazy. And about the least confident type there is.

 

[jainygirl]

I've had people come up to me and say "that's not your real hair", "black women don't have hair that long", "where'd you get your weave done?" etc.

Wow, that sucks. What do you tell them to set them straight?? That's just Uber-rude for people to walk up like that . -- jainygirl

 

[Boadicea]

Wow, that sucks. What do you tell them to set them straight?? That's just Uber-rude for people to walk up like that . -- jainygirl

I literally say "WTH are you talking about!?"

I know it may sound rude, but I think sliding up to someone and asking them if their hair is real is equally as rude.

Some people take "is your hair real" as a compliment, but it annoys me because people have been saying that to me for so long. I've had people go up behind me in the halls at college and pull hard on my hair. One lady sifted through my hair with a BIC pen (which she asked to borrow) in the cafeteria! I gave it to her because I thought she was going to write something. She used it to look for tracks in my hair.

It got to a point where I was afraid to wear my hair down. Some times I went to school looking crazy because I had a handkerchief on my head. Other times I wore a scully cap with my hair wrapped underneath so no one could see it.

 

[Solti]

I know it may sound rude, but I think sliding up to someone and asking them if their hair is real is equally as rude.

I can relate to what you went through in college because I had a similar experience, its fcuked up...Why are people soooo crazy?