Fall in Love with YOUR Natural Hair

[TCatt86]

RE: the bolded, people say this to me when I'm wearing a twistout. I always tell them, "Trust me, I don't have good hair. At least not in the way you mean it." That's one of the advantages of type 4 hair. You can rock it however you want.

I get that alot too. I tell them, just like they style their hair so do I. Most naturals do, but I will say being in the 4s takes conviction and alot of self esteem. I'm called nappy headed at least twice a week by my mom, the people at work refer to me as the girl with the wild hair I guess saying the chick with the afro is too complicated. but I digress

 

[lovenharmony]

This is what I figured. That everyone's hair looks good because they know how to work with their hair. It's not "good hair" it's "good hair care."

I had to quote you on that The best way to say it IMHO!

 

[apemay1969]

I work in a high school and I had my hair in a wet bun. One of the sadder girls at our school called me a bummy bald headed b&%$#. Now I can admit that I'm a bum. I had on moccasins that I wear erday and some cords and a dashiki type shirt that actually matched the cords. Bald headed..hmmm...I don't think like that anymore. Flatironed I'm a little past collar, I think but when I looked at her with her bad #4 non-shiny weave, her ho half boots and one of her kids t-shirts on, I just got sad. Her thinking represents so many of our young girls that I want to cry.

Good note though - my stepdaughter who moved out of the house because of my horrible rules, did the BC and asked for my help on how to care for it.

I couldn't believe it. So maybe there's hope for us and our inability to accept our differences.

 

[apemay1969]

The Op's hair look like 4a to me.

As someone who went natural, relaxed and is now natural again, I want to add that I honestly think a lot of 4a/b hair would look better and healthier if people started accepting their texture and stop trying to force their hair to do things it wasn't meant to do.

For example, concentrate on moisture instead of trying to force your curls to pop. My hair started to look and feel dry, because I was using a bunch of gels and other products to make it look the way I thought it should look instead of accepting my natural texture. This time around I make sure my hair is moisturized and conditioned, forcing my "curls to pop" on my kinky hair is not a priority anymore. As a result, my hair looks and feels much better than before.

I thought that I was non-chalant about my spirals until I did something odd to it - I don't know what - and it wouldn't spiral, it just looked like I stuck my hand in the socket. I realized that I wasn't as accepting as I thought I was. I had to examine my own thoughts about my hair texture and what I would feel if my spirals didn't come back and I had z's instead of s's. Isn't that silly? Wow.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

And she serves the testament that that type of hair CAN and WILL grow very long if you take proper care of it.

So when people use the excuse that they want long hair, and that their natural 4b hair wont grow, she and others debunk that idea with ease. Maybe if more women like her had more presence on sites like these, other sisters would be motivated.

The point of the post you responded to was about the desire for length not whether or not hair of any type could grow.

I've been following Mwedzi for a long time and I don't think anybody who has watched her journey would use the word 'ease' to describe it.

 

[LadyLeoSmile]

I get that alot too. I tell them, just like they style their hair so do I. Most naturals do, but I will say being in the 4s takes conviction and alot of self esteem. I'm called nappy headed at least twice a week by my mom, the people at work refer to me as the girl with the wild hair I guess saying the chick with the afro is too complicated. but I digress

@ the bolded, when I did my twist out for the first time last week, my Mom made a comment about it being cute but that I prolly have nappy roots under neath. I had to show her and let her feel for herself how straight the roots were for her to understand. I notice that people who aren't natural don't understand that simply stretching the hair (like when you braid or do twists) helps to straighten it out. I have not heard anyone refer to me as the girl with big hair, but of the few black women here I am the only natural and I am a type 4 as well. I loved my hair before, and I love it even more now that I am learning new things from this site and all the lovely ladies here.

 

[delray712000]

wow, i am sure there are some who transition with those ideas in mind and with the same reaction you speak of. however, when i transitioned it was because being natural was better for me. i remembered that prior to relaxing my tresses, my hair was not as limp, damaged, or thin. overall, my hair was in better shape that being permed. i also felt that if i would just learn to love and care for my hair properly that i would be able to appreciate my natural texture. once i changed my way of thinking i began to search for ladies with long tresses that were natural and with my hair type (4Z).

i was relieved to see some ladies with 4b and 4a natural hair that grew long. then i decided to go natural but never since my 17- 18 mo post hair did i become discouraged because it is not 3c or whatever. frankly, i feel that there are others on this board like me. already aware of my hair grade and what to expect.

 

[Junebug D]

Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.

Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a row. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.

So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.

This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...

I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.

*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*

And I'll add the search for thickness (which gets confused with density), shine (which gets confused with moisture i.e. health), and even styles. Texture is but one part, and probably the easier part. I won't elaborate, but there's a lot to really think about if we want to be truly honest.

But even after all that thinking is done, a big fat "SO WHAT?" just enters the back of my mind. How is my life improving after all this is said and done? What's this worth to me? Am I really going to walk around in my everyday life, in my society today with my hair completely unstyled to dodge every potential "troubling action"?? I will do it when the rest of you do it. (I will say that my idea of a wash n' go changed dramatically when I came here and saw people doing a 3 and 4-step "wash n go".)

I don't see many people with organic freeform locs around my neck of the internet.

 

[ceebee3]

Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.

Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a row. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.

So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.

This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...

I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.

*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*

I don't understand your point. How is it "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" ?

The same short hair you have is going to be the same long hair you have if you care for it enough to grow that long.

 

[divya]

This is a great thread. I love natural hair of all textures and love my natural texture too. I do, however, have a length preference which is hangup for me when it comes to going natural. I've always had long hair and am a bit nervous about how I will look without it. However, I'll soon find out...

Right now, I'm going through a big change. I'm focusing on me - spiritually and physically. That includes exercising regularly, eating well, sleeping etc. My hair is next. My plan is to Big Chop for the New Year.

 

[Ediese]

She also has long hair which further reinforces your point.

The point of the post you responded to was about the desire for length not whether or not hair of any type could grow.

I've been following Mwedzi for a long time and I don't think anybody who has watched her journey would use the word 'ease' to describe it.

I don't understand your point. How is it "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" ?

The same short hair you have is going to be the same long hair you have if you care for it enough to grow that long.

I was a little confused by that too, but I think her point was to compare women on this board that don't love their hair texture to other women that are obsessed with wanting long hair. Her point is that it's all self hate. I don't understand the comparison, it's apples and oranges to me.

Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.

I hated looking at my neck length hair not because it was short. I hated it because it was badly damaged, and very thin. How is that self hate? If someone did hate their short hair because it was too short, again, how is that self hate?

I know there was a period when I relied on hair weaves to feel more beautiful. I didn't feel like my look was together if I didn't have a weave. That goes back to the underlying issue of hating what was naturally mine. I definitely understand in this instance the whole 'self hate' issue, but I'm having some trouble understanding the point that you're making. How is wanting long hair self hate?

 

[purplepeace79]

The point of the post you responded to was about the desire for length not whether or not hair of any type could grow.

I've been following Mwedzi for a long time and I don't think anybody who has watched her journey would use the word 'ease' to describe it.

I said debunking the idea about not having long 4b hair like that is debunked with ease. I didn't say her hair maintenance was. Some people were talking how others feel that 4B hair can't grow long, but being here on this site, we have many examples of how it CAN grow long that should serve as inspiration to those who want the long hair, but wont be "natural" because they feel they can't achieve the length they want. Sure, relaxed hair will appear longer faster. But with patience and care, even the thickest, coarsest, most fragile hair can grow to crazy lengths. That was the point of my retort.

And one poster talked about how long hair is a Eurocentric ideal. We're acting like Africans across the continent never had long hair until encountering Europeans! I dont buy that for one second.

Not everyone here is growing their hair long because it makes them feel like they look better. We all have our own reasons. Some people just want to see if it can be done. Some people are looking for healthier ways to care for their hair and if length is achieved, so be it.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I don't see how wanting long hair is comparable to not accepting one's texture. I was born with a texture that will not change 'naturally'. My hair will grow whether I want it to or not. Wanting long hair, is just fufilling a desire for something that your body does naturally.

 

[laurend]

I said debunking the idea about not having long 4b hair like that is debunked with ease. I didn't say her hair maintenance was. Some people were talking how others feel that 4B hair can't grow long, but being here on this site, we have many examples of how it CAN grow long that should serve as inspiration to those who want the long hair, but wont be "natural" because they feel they can't achieve the length they want. Sure, relaxed hair will appear longer faster. But with patience and care, even the thickest, coarsest, most fragile hair can grow to crazy lengths. That was the point of my retort.

And one poster talked about how long hair is a Eurocentric ideal. We're acting like Africans across the continent never had long hair until encountering Europeans! I dont buy that for one second.

Not everyone here is growing their hair long because it makes them feel like they look better. We all have our own reasons. Some people just want to see if it can be done. Some people are looking for healthier ways to care for their hair and if length is achieved, so be it.

However Africans with long hair tended to be North Africans or from the East(Somalia or Ethiopia). West African and Southern Africans usually kept their hair very short especially little girls. The concept of long hair is a European and an Afro American concept. Growing up my husband use to look at AA women believing they have longer hair then the women in his country. If you look at traditional African tribes you will see the women have short hair.

 

[laurend]

I never had a problem accepting my natural hair because not like many of you here, my mom was anti-relaxer. I didn't get my first chemical until the age of 20 or 21. I knew my hair wasn't 3a, 3b or 3c so when I grew out my relaxer a few years later, hair texture acceptance wasn't an issue.

 

[LunadeMiel]

However Africans with long hair tended to be North Africans or from the East(Somalia or Ethiopia). West African and Southern Africans usually kept their hair very short especially little girls. The concept of long hair is a European and an Afro American concept. Growing up my husband use to look at AA women believing they have longer hair then the women in his country. If you look at traditional African tribes you will see the women have short hair.

This is inaccuarate.

 

[laurend]

This is inaccuarate.

Why do you say that?

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

How did this go from a positive self-affirming and empowering thread to what I'm reading now?

I decided to transition because I'm tired of the chemicals. I want more versatility and better overall hair health. This board has taught me so much and I am more confident in/with my haircare practices.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Why do you say that?

There are thousands of tribe in African. Once can't truely believe that they all wore their hair the same way. I can think of 3 tribes that I've seen who wear their hair long. The Fulani, Tuaoreg(?), and this other tribe that applies red mudd to their hair (the name excapes me at the moment). All of the women wear their hair long.

 

[laurend]

Women and Child Samburu tribe

Little girls from Ghana



















Little girl from Togo.


I'm not saying they can't grow hair but the concept of long hair is a Western concept.

 

[CarLiTa]

And I'll add the search for thickness (which gets confused with density), shine (which gets confused with moisture i.e. health), and even styles. Texture is but one part, and probably the easier part.

Thank you for this.
I have appreciated this thread. Lots of interesting insight.
To the first bolded, you're right... texture is indeed the easier part. As a new natural, I have realized that shinier looking hair doesn't mean "moisturized" hair for MY afro. Sure I can pop my curls but I am still learning to have the hair feeling/being moisturized and healthy whether the curls pop or not.

That's something I have realized over the past 2.5 months.

This is inaccuarate.

Hm, I don't know about that. In several parts of the world, children have protein deficiencies... if you go to villages where the land is dry and people mostly consume roots, kasava, etc. and very little meat (meat is a luxury), then it is very possible that they will have protein deficiencies. It is a fact that in the poorest parts of the world, people have a high-starch, low-protein diet.

If hair is dead protein and the body does not have access to enough in the first place, it will not be wasting whatever amount of protein it has JUST to produce hair.
I don't think "hair is kept short"... I think hair just IS short. Saying that, and accepting it, doesn't take anything away from these people at all, so I don't always understand why women on LHCF sometimes seem so sensitive about that.

 

[laurend]

There are thousands of tribe in African. Once can't truely believe that they all wore their hair the same way. I can think of 3 tribes that I've seen who wear their hair long. The Fulani, Tuaoreg(?), and this other tribe that applies red mudd to their hair (the name excapes me at the moment). All of the women wear their hair long.

The Fulani and Tuareg are a cross between African people and Arabs. I said most Sub Saharaian Africans didn't have the concept or care for long hair.

 

[LunadeMiel]

The Fulani and Tuareg are a cross between African people and Arabs. I said most Sub Saharaian Africans didn't have the concept or care for long hair.

Let me see if I can remember the names of the tribes. I may need to chek NGC's website. There was also blog that was posted here that had beautiul pictures of tribal women with long hair.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Thank you for this.
I have appreciated this thread. Lots of interesting insight.
To the first bolded, you're right... texture is indeed the easier part. As a new natural, I have realized that shinier looking hair doesn't mean "moisturized" hair for MY afro. Sure I can pop my curls but I am still learning to have the hair feeling/being moisturized and healthy whether the curls pop or not.

That's something I have realized over the past 2.5 months.




Hm, I don't know about that. In several parts of the world, children have protein deficiencies... if you go to villages where the land is dry and people mostly consume roots, kasava, etc. and very little meat (meat is a luxury), then it is very possible that they will have protein deficiencies. It is a fact that in the poorest parts of the world, people have a high-starch, low-protein diet.

If hair is dead protein and the body does not have access to enough in the first place, it will not be wasting whatever amount of protein it has JUST to produce hair.
I don't think "hair is kept short"... I think hair just IS short. Saying that, and accepting it, doesn't take anything away from these people at all, so I don't always understand why women on LHCF sometimes seem so sensitive about that.

Having a protein deficiency and wanting long hair are two different things. Being able to have long hair and wanting long hair are not the same. I can't belive my memory is failing me .

 

[laurend]

Let me see if I can remember the names of the tribes. I may need to chek NGC's website. There was also blog that was posted here that had beautiul pictures of tribal women with long hair.

That's fine but remember I said Sub Saharan women. A lot of women in North Africa or the East do have long hair and that's fine. In traditional Africa (sub saharan) long hair wasn't in the culture.

 

[CarLiTa]

Having a protein deficiency and wanting long hair are two different things. Being able to have long hair and wanting long hair are not the same. I can't belive my memory is failing me .

Ah ok, I see what you mean

As for me: I love big hair. I want huuugge hair natural hair that will look extremely long when I straighten it

 

[LunadeMiel]

Ah ok, I see what you mean

As for me: I love big hair. I want huuugge hair natural hair that will look extremely long when I straighten it

When my hair is as wide as my shoulders won't nobody be able to tell me nuthin'

 

[Junebug D]

Thank you for this.
I have appreciated this thread. Lots of interesting insight.
To the first bolded, you're right... texture is indeed the easier part. As a new natural, I have realized that shinier looking hair doesn't mean "moisturized" hair for MY afro. Sure I can pop my curls but I am still learning to have the hair feeling/being moisturized and healthy whether the curls pop or not.

Yeah. All I know is that the next time I am natural, I won’t be deep conditioning much. To some my hair will be dry, unkempt, and unhealthy (long live the Jay-Z thread!), but oh well. I know that I had fewer knots, tangles, and shrinkage when I wasn’t doing that and my hair was supposedly unhealthy. In that case was my hair truly healthier when it was curlier/“coilier”? More defined yet causing more knots and tangles? According to whose standards was that "healthier" or better-looking? Certainly not mine and that’s all that should have mattered. I’ve been over the “wanting loose texture” thing for a minute but it was learning that my hair was supposedly dry & consequently unhealthy that caused my latest setback, so to speak.

That’s why I brought up those other things. We have a loooong way to go on all fronts. And even then… to go where, exactly? To some magical place where everyone is happy & content with their hair all the time? Tough chance. Especially when opinions and styles and trends change with the weather. They were natural in the 70s but they weren’t rocking twist-outs. They are natural in the 00s but they aren’t rocking perfectly shaped afros en masse. They were natural in West Africa but they weren’t rocking frohawks with defined “healthy” coils popping.


On that note, I’ll never be happy with one foot being so much longer than the other, but oh well. Such is life.

*Completely jaded*

 

[kittykhat]

Oh...I didn't even think about that. I hope that's not the case because I always say that it's a weave.

Kittykhat: If you're referring to the long pics of curly hair that you see in some of my pics, that is not REAL!

I posted some pics of my natural hair in this thread.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=236469&page=7&highlight=ediese

Yeah. Lol. I think that's what I saw...My bad...

 

[MummysGirl]

I'm Nigerian, I grew up in Nigeria and I never had hair this short. My hair was not short when I was a child. I had hair that I could stretch past my lips when I was younger, I remember this cos I used to play with my hair a lot.

I can't stand generalisations

Women and Child Samburu tribe

Little girls from Ghana



















Little girl from Togo.


I'm not saying they can't grow hair but the concept of long hair is a Western concept.