From Setback to Comeback - An Encouragement Thread

[Pooks]

OK, this is for newbies starting out with damaged hair, or those who have been on their HHJ for a while but had a bump in the road, to get some inspiration.

Me? I recently indulged in too much blow drying at high heat, and then using a curling tong at the front of my hair for my wedding. I now have some hair that is a looser texture than my latest growth, even with the use of heat protectants, and I haven't retained the length of about the past 2 months due to the heat usage... I've dusted my ends and am DCing and PSing my hair back to health, and going back to minimal heat usage (as in maybe I'll use a blowdryer once or twice for the rest of the year, if I'm in a serious bind).

Posting pics if you have 'em, share your setback horror stories, relaxed or natural, and how you turned your hair around, or are currently working on it (thinking of MissNorway and her Dominican Disaster)

I can't wait to read the responses, over to you ladies!

 

[MummysGirl]

Nice idea!

I started from here in August 2007:


A year and 2 trims later, I got here in August 2008 and was so excited:




December 2008, I relaxed my hair and my hair was a mess! It was so many different lengths - SL, APL, between APL and BSL! I couldn't understand why, I didn't do length checks while stretching and was so busy so wasn't paying attention to my hair to notice if there was any breakage. I took some pictures and never put them on my fotki - I was so sad. I finally took a picture and made a comparison pic AFTER I got a cut. I saw some locks of hair that were more than 3 inches on the stylist's floor

Comparison picture below (after the cut):


I finally realised what the main culprits were:
1. I moved home and was very busy - I didn't wash or DC my hair for 2 weeks, I work out 5 days a week. I was manipulating my sweaty hair by combing and trying to style it for these 2 weeks and I wasn't cleaning it!!!
2. I wasn't coating my already relaxed hair with conditioner or oil on relaxer days so during my last relaxer, my already weak, uncared for strands just couldn't handle relaxer being rinsed through them.

Now... 8 months later, my hair is doing so well. I'm kinda glad I had that setback because it made me realise I could get back to that length again, and longer if I wanted! But I also realised I was bored, I'd been saying I'd go natural in the "near future".... well, in February of this year, at 7 weeks post, the near future was now. I decided to transition I'm almost 8 months post and my hair is doing so well. I haven't straightened in a long time so I don't know my length but I think I might be APL in some areas! I did a braidout last weekend and my friend who has longer-than-APL hair kept saying my hair looked so nice and long. Ofcourse I was happy

My hair now (braidout with ends curled and 7.5 months of shrinkage):


Can you tell I love my hair now??? This was the only large picture

Mistakes happen, setback happen.... we learn from them When you have setbacks, sit back and figure out what you've done differently - these things are the most likely culprit. If it's not your hair care practices that changed, it could be health related or stress - get a check up.

I'm now looking forward to getting back to APL but this time, all natural!

HHG

 

[Pooks]

Thanks for sharing and congrats on your decision to transition! Love the big pic your hair is looking really good!

 

[Saida]

waiting for more pics

 

[Pooks]

Me too Saida

 

[MummysGirl]

Just checked out your fotki, you have beautiful hair and I love your hair and length!
I'm sure your hair will be back on track really soon. Your current PS (box braids with your hair) is something I'll definitely be doing as a natural (I do it as a transitioner already )

HHG!!!

OK, this is for newbies starting out with damaged hair, or those who have been on their HHJ for a while but had a bump in the road, to get some inspiration.

Me? I recently indulged in too much blow drying at high heat, and then using a curling tong at the front of my hair for my wedding. I now have some hair that is a looser texture than my latest growth, even with the use of heat protectants, and I haven't retained the length of about the past 2 months due to the heat usage... I've dusted my ends and am DCing and PSing my hair back to health, and going back to minimal heat usage (as in maybe I'll use a blowdryer once or twice for the rest of the year, if I'm in a serious bind).

Posting pics if you have 'em, share your setback horror stories, relaxed or natural, and how you turned your hair around, or are currently working on it (thinking of MissNorway and her Dominican Disaster)

I can't wait to read the responses, over to you ladies!

 

[Pooks]

Just checked out your fotki, you have beautiful hair and I love your hair and length!
I'm sure your hair will be back on track really soon. Your current PS (box braids with your hair) is something I'll definitely be doing as a natural (I do it as a transitioner already )

HHG!!!

:blush3: Thank you sweetie!

 

[MummysGirl]

Bumping

 

[foxieroxienyc]

Well I had 4 major set backs in my first year (2008). They all came by way of trimming. And a few by roller setting. With the trimming, I was seeing my stylist in the beginning of 2008, she'd been my regular stylist for 2 years, as I wore weaves for 2 years straight with no break. I had natural hair, and the edges were texturized for blending. However, I always noticed that in TWO YEARS my hair was always the same length. I took HARD CORE care of my hair underneath and would have tons of NG by the time it was time to get it done. I DC'd the hair underneath all the time, moisturized, the whole nine. My hair was also obviously very healthy. But everytime she would take it down.... Out came the scissors. When I decided to say good-bye to weaving for good, I still saw her for my relaxers (decided to go back to fully relaxing). I found LHCF by then and started taking care of my hair, I didn't want to go back to damage. My hair in the first few months grew like rapid fire (check the fotki). I stretched for 10 weeks then, she was mad about that. And at first she would trim every other relaxer. But then more and more she wanted to push the trimming issue. I watched in horror as she "trimmed" this one girl's beautiful APL hair to SL, and then added tracks to it... So she CHOPPED my hair 2x.

After that, I was trying to grow out layers. My nape seemed so much shorter than the back, like by 1.5 inches. I think the culprit was that she applied the relaxer there first and being that I of course got rinsed out in the sink, the area wasn't getting washed well enough or neutralized enough. So I spent a lot of time trying to get the rest of my hair to catch up. I hated the look of thin ends, thin as in not fully even and I can see the back wall towards the ends of my hair because of the length difference. This was very weird because I was in this in between stage where my hair was trying to grow out from a specific cut/style. So I just trimmed to keep it all even and presentable. I trimmed more hair the end of the year in 2008.

So fast forward to today, I decided to step away from the scissors. Leave my hair alone, and only trim 2x a year if needed. I last trimmed back in Feb 09, and just recently 6 mons later in Aug 09. And THAT'S ALL. I didn't even trim that much, just for what I call "giving myself new ends to work with." So it was more like a dusting. My hair is fuller now, and the NAPE is the same length as the rest of my hair. Rollersetting isn't very good for my hair either. It always feels drier than if I airdry/blowdry - flat iron. And I always have hair snapping off from roller removal. I found using a lot of a creamy product for me helps, but it's also a very long process. I don't want to spend all day doing my hair anymore. I'm very pleased with my hair now.

Jan 08 to March 08 Comparison

March doing good

May 2008 after last cut from stylist

Oct 2008 self trim:

Today I leave it alone:

 

[SherylsTresses]

My "BIGGEST" problems were:

Losing balls of hair while detangling with conditioner

• Used to yank out so much hair and I would panic
• Had to keep researching and asking questions (harassing my fellow sistas) about how to detangle hair in the shower with running water
• I tried it and it works
• This is from overprocessing
• Had to experiment with oil-based and water based moisturizers. Water-based works best for me as oil-based sat on my hair and weighed it down
• Must keep bad ends trimmed
• Baggy and bunning when all else failed me. This always kept my hair on track

Learning how to stretch

• Thicker moisturizers helped me such as using conditioners as a daily moisturizer on my post relaxed hair
• Never combing it. I only comb on wash days with head full of conditioner

Keep a hair journal

• List all products you have
• Keep track of what works and what doesn't
• Plan your next shampoo, cowash, dc, treatments as needed

I sure hope this helps. HHG

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

I just went through a recent heartbreaking setback that I'm still kinda getting over. My growth journey was going great up until I started abusing heat. My hair couldnt take the constant straightening and started to slowly thin out.

I didnt really notice at first

By the time I realized what I was doing it was too late

I had to chop it off and start again from shoulder length...A yr of progress out the window.

here is the most recent pic of my hair 5 months after the cut July 28 2009

In the end the cut was a blessing in disguise because my hair is so much stronger and fuller.

 

[Pooks]

^^Thanks for sharing, this darned heat styling! I lulled myself into a sense of false security, sitting there saying, "I got all that healthy hair knowledge now, I use heat protectant, I'll be fine" and then bam - see through ends! That is why I'm slowing down now, I don't want it to get to that stage. Here's what my hair looked like following heat use after my wedding:



Fotki caption to this pic:
An unfamililar stylist with strange and unfamiliar products (I forgot mine at home [wallbash wallbash!]) blowdrying at a high temp gave me a little setback - I think I've lost some of my length and the ends are straighter than the recently grown hair nearest my roots.

My hair is now on lock down in braids (no hair added).

 

[Pooks]

I know more ladies than this have overcome setbacks...


B_U_M_P!!

 

[MummysGirl]

Wow, your pictures remind me of my setback, only thing is it had nothing to do with heat.

Your progress since your trim is very inspriring! Thanks for sharing

I totally agree with the bolded! My hair is so much thicker and stronger, I let go of the weak ends I love it!

In the end the cut was a blessing in disguise because my hair is so much stronger and fuller.

 

[Aggie]

I haven't had a setback per se but I am transitioning to texlaxed hair so I guess I would call it a self-induced setback because of the constant trimming to rid myself of the straight relaxed ends. I am back at neck length now and quite excited and looking forward to a full head of new healthy hair.

 

[locabouthair]

Going through bad setbacks right now. When I first started my journey my left side was only 2 inches long and still is very short and broken. Now the right side some area in the crown, and the nape have broken off. It's so bad sometimes I would look at my hair in the mirror and want to cry.

The parts are growing back just VERY slowly. I am NL right now and will be cutting it to my ears, thats how badly it broke off. I'm wearing wigs for a year and trying not to think about the damage and just focus on something else.

And what broke it off? A stylist brunt my hair with the pressing comb when I was natural, that side stayed broken off for like 3 years now. The others spots were caused my stylists not washing out the perm properly and it broke down to the ng.

I'm trying not be discouraged but it's so hard. I see soooo many women with healthy hair and I just dont understand why this is so hard for me. I havent been SL since I was 14 my hair just keeps breaking off.

My friend says I focus on my hair too much and thats why it's not growing. He's probably right. Since I was 5, I was told how horrible my hair was/is so I guess it has given me a complex..

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[calmsensual1]

I have a setback everytime I clarify/chelate and once when I used porosity control by roux.

I was able to clarify when my hair was texlaxed but as soon as new growth started coming in, it was a wrap. I dont even know what to do now because im natural now. ACV rinses? Baking soda?

 

[Desarae]

I chopped off all my damaged relaxed hair at the beginning of my journey, with the hopes of being natural for 2years then relaxing fresh again.

After 9 months natural I got really frustrated with my hair, the single strand knots, the hour long detangling sessions, everything. Sooo, one day after washing it and falling asleep and letting it dry up and shrink up to this:

It took me 2 hours to detangle and just to get this puff. I had to wake up really early just so I could look decent for work. I look sad in this picture because I knew I was gonna relax my hair that day.

Last hours natural, see the sadness in my eyes:

So later that day, I deceided to go ahead and texlax. It came out great at first,

After the first wash it turned into a frizzy mess in the front:

But the back looked fine:

I got frustrated and decided to go ahead and go bone straight big mistake, I smoothed too much, used a no-lye after texlaxing the first time with lye and left it in for 30 minutes out of frustration. This is what I ended up with, overprocessed hair. Especially in the front. Big time:

I was soo depressed...So all I did was co washed and DC with Motions CPR and Aphogee 2 min daily and airdryed until my hair got stronger.

It's a lot better now, but I know it could be longer and stronger had I not let frustration take over me. My siggy and avi are recent pics. My hair struggles with constant recurring splits and I have to trim more often than usual. My hair is still transitioning from overly straight to texlaxed straigth. I haven't been retaining like I could have because of this, and my hair is very sensitive to heat. I even tried the BKT to give my hair some strength, but that didn't do much to help. I have been trimming slowly to get rid of the too straight parts. On top of that I still do too much to my hair. I'm almost 2 years in (September 3rd will be 2 years since I BC'd to a 1/2 inch TWA) I should be on my way to APL, I know that my hair grows pretty fast but retention is everything.

This journey has been just that, a journey and a learning experience for me. I will get there when I get there, but right now I just want to enjoy my hair at all lengths. One day when I KISS and do all I am supposed to do my hair will flourish like I want it to.

 

[belle_reveuse28]

Going through bad setbacks right now. When I first started my journey my left side was only 2 inches long and still is very short and broken. Now the right side some area in the crown, and the nape have broken off. It's so bad sometimes I would look at my hair in the mirror and want to cry.

The parts are growing back just VERY slowly. I am NL right now and will be cutting it to my ears, thats how badly it broke off. I'm wearing wigs for a year and trying not to think about the damage and just focus on something else.

And what broke it off? A stylist brunt my hair with the pressing comb when I was natural, that side stayed broken off for like 3 years now. The others spots were caused my stylists not washing out the perm properly and it broke down to the ng.

I'm trying not be discouraged but it's so hard. I see soooo many women with healthy hair and I just dont understand why this is so hard for me. I havent been SL since I was 14 my hair just keeps breaking off.

My friend says I focus on my hair too much and thats why it's not growing. He's probably right. Since I was 5, I was told how horrible my hair was/is so I guess it has given me a complex..

Thanks for letting me vent.

Loco, I just wanted to offer you some encouragement.... I dont think it will be hard for you if you change up a few things. Learning how to care for your own hair will be a huge plus. Apparently, all of the damage and set backs you have experinced have come from your stylist abusing your hair terribly. But there is a plus to this...

Well, think about it... If your hair isn't being abused, being well cared for and you have a simple regimen, most likely it will thrive and grow. But I dont know anybody on this forum who could have done to their hair what's been done to yours and have a great head of hair, including me. So you can look forward to having a great head of hair like many of us if you 1. keep that chick outta your head, and most likely anybody else for the matter, until you know for sure who a great stylist is, 2. developing a great regimen with the help of others who are more knowledgeable and most likely, those who have hair like yours, and 3. patience and good habits.

Let me recommend good scalp massages daily to increase the blood flow and stimulate the areas that are growing slowly. Castor oil for teh scalp, which is great for growth. Your goal for now could be having very healthy and growing ear length hair which will definitely grow down to your neck, shoulders and so forth... You may want to create a post stating you need help with your regimen and what to do, and see what's offered.

Be encouraged! This too will pass...

 

[SherylsTresses]

I chopped off all my damaged relaxed hair at the beginning of my journey, with the hopes of being natural for 2years then relaxing fresh again.

After 9 months natural I got really frustrated with my hair, the single strand knots, the hour long detangling sessions, everything. Sooo, one day after washing it and falling asleep and letting it dry up and shrink up to this:

It took me 2 hours to detangle and just to get this puff. I had to wake up really early just so I could look decent for work. I look sad in this picture because I knew I was gonna relax my hair that day.

Last hours natural, see the sadness in my eyes:



So later that day, I deceided to go ahead and texlax. It came out great at first,


After the first wash it turned into a frizzy mess in the front:


But the back looked fine:


I got frustrated and decided to go ahead and go bone straight big mistake, I smoothed too much, used a no-lye after texlaxing the first time with lye and left it in for 30 minutes out of frustration. This is what I ended up with, overprocessed hair. Especially in the front. Big time:



I was soo depressed...So all I did was co washed and DC with Motions CPR and Aphogee 2 min daily and airdryed until my hair got stronger.

It's a lot better now, but I know it could be longer and stronger had I not let frustration take over me. My siggy and avi are recent pics. My hair struggles with constant recurring splits and I have to trim more often than usual. My hair is still transitioning from overly straight to texlaxed straigth. I haven't been retaining like I could have because of this, and my hair is very sensitive to heat. I even tried the BKT to give my hair some strength, but that didn't do much to help. I have been trimming slowly to get rid of the too straight parts. On top of that I still do too much to my hair. I'm almost 2 years in (September 3rd will be 2 years since I BC'd to a 1/2 inch TWA) I should be on my way to APL, I know that my hair grows pretty fast but retention is everything.

This journey has been just that, a journey and a learning experience for me. I will get there when I get there, but right now I just want to enjoy my hair at all lengths. One day when I KISS and do all I am supposed to do my hair will flourish like I want it to.

Definitely sounds like a success story to me. Thanks for sharing...!

 

[ANUBIS]

I chopped off all my damaged relaxed hair at the beginning of my journey, with the hopes of being natural for 2years then relaxing fresh again.

After 9 months natural I got really frustrated with my hair, the single strand knots, the hour long detangling sessions, everything. Sooo, one day after washing it and falling asleep and letting it dry up and shrink up to this:

It took me 2 hours to detangle and just to get this puff. I had to wake up really early just so I could look decent for work. I look sad in this picture because I knew I was gonna relax my hair that day.

Last hours natural, see the sadness in my eyes:

So later that day, I deceided to go ahead and texlax. It came out great at first,

After the first wash it turned into a frizzy mess in the front:

But the back looked fine:

I got frustrated and decided to go ahead and go bone straight big mistake, I smoothed too much, used a no-lye after texlaxing the first time with lye and left it in for 30 minutes out of frustration. This is what I ended up with, overprocessed hair. Especially in the front. Big time:

I was soo depressed...So all I did was co washed and DC with Motions CPR and Aphogee 2 min daily and airdryed until my hair got stronger.

It's a lot better now, but I know it could be longer and stronger had I not let frustration take over me. My siggy and avi are recent pics. My hair struggles with constant recurring splits and I have to trim more often than usual. My hair is still transitioning from overly straight to texlaxed straigth. I haven't been retaining like I could have because of this, and my hair is very sensitive to heat. I even tried the BKT to give my hair some strength, but that didn't do much to help. I have been trimming slowly to get rid of the too straight parts. On top of that I still do too much to my hair. I'm almost 2 years in (September 3rd will be 2 years since I BC'd to a 1/2 inch TWA) I should be on my way to APL, I know that my hair grows pretty fast but retention is everything.

This journey has been just that, a journey and a learning experience for me. I will get there when I get there, but right now I just want to enjoy my hair at all lengths. One day when I KISS and do all I am supposed to do my hair will flourish like I want it to.

your hair is so beautiful! my son who is 2 was watching me on the computer and he pointed to the second pic and said "awwwe hair cute mom"

 

[sheedahp]

Aww you guys are gonna make me cry
I had a couple of setbacks when I moved to Ga, when I was in Fl I went to the same stylist for 5 yrs, my hair grew below the brastrap and it was so healthy and that was with me washing my hair once every other week, relaxers every 4-5 weeks. But when I moved I found a scissor happy stylist, she did a big chop the first visit and then she wanted to trim every visit but her trims were cuts, so the last relaxer I believe she left the relaxer on my nape too long or didnt properly wash it out and it broke to my NG, my edges began to break and thin which I believe came from wrapping, so I changed stylist and now get relaxers every 6 weeks and am working on a regime. Sorry dont have any good pics to attach.

 

[BostonMaria]

This is me, December 2006 after I got my hair relaxed bone straight. My hair was dry and the ends were raggedy. It was after this relaxer that I decided to transition to natural. I was just tired of my hair looking like crap. Looking back I now know I was relying on the salons too much, using way too much heat, not protecting my hair at night, and letting my hairdresser overprocess my hair.

Ummmm excuse the nail polish and haggard look LMAO I was tired people, tired!

This is my hair now (May 09). Much fuller, shiny, has bounce. I'm 100% natural now and take very good care of my hair. I did my own hair in this picture. I retain so much more length since going on LHCF and NC.

 

[sheedahp]

This is me, December 2006 after I got my hair relaxed bone straight. My hair was dry and the ends were raggedy. It was after this relaxer that I decided to transition to natural. I was just tired of my hair looking like crap. Looking back I now know I was relying on the salons too much, using way too much heat, not protecting my hair at night, and letting my hairdresser overprocess my hair.

Ummmm excuse the nail polish and haggard look LMAO I was tired people, tired!

This is my hair now (May 09). Much fuller, shiny, has bounce. I'm 100% natural now and take very good care of my hair. I did my own hair in this picture. I retain so much more length since going on LHCF and NC.

Wow your hair is beautiful and that pic of your daughter makes me laugh everytime I see it.

 

[Pooks]

These are some wonderful stories with pics, loving your responses!

 

[msquared]

Where do I begin with my set back story?

In 2001, I relocated and began stretching and texlaxing because I didn’t have a hair stylist. Ironically, prior to joining the LHCF, I utilized many of the practices of healthy hair but I knew that I was off on something. (Later, I discovered it was the hair products I was using and a lack of frequent DCs.) Instead of a BC, I gradually cut off my bone straight ends over time. During this time, I would often wear my hair braided or in a bun for convenience sake; but, I could not grow my hair past my shoulders with out major thinning. In 2004, I was diagnosed with a hyperactive thyroid, which reeked havoc on my hair and skin. My main hair problem from the disease is breakage from dryness.

In April 2009, I experienced a devastating set back, which prompted me to join the LHCF. This set back was due to one too many blow-outs without properly deep conditioning.

From the attached photos you can see that my hair is making a come back. Thanks to LCHF, I have learned to trust my instincts and to listen to my hair. For me, keeping things simple and frequent DCs are the best practices.

 

[locabouthair]

Loco, I just wanted to offer you some encouragement.... I dont think it will be hard for you if you change up a few things. Learning how to care for your own hair will be a huge plus. Apparently, all of the damage and set backs you have experinced have come from your stylist abusing your hair terribly. But there is a plus to this...

Well, think about it... If your hair isn't being abused, being well cared for and you have a simple regimen, most likely it will thrive and grow. But I dont know anybody on this forum who could have done to their hair what's been done to yours and have a great head of hair, including me. So you can look forward to having a great head of hair like many of us if you 1. keep that chick outta your head, and most likely anybody else for the matter, until you know for sure who a great stylist is, 2. developing a great regimen with the help of others who are more knowledgeable and most likely, those who have hair like yours, and 3. patience and good habits.

Let me recommend good scalp massages daily to increase the blood flow and stimulate the areas that are growing slowly. Castor oil for teh scalp, which is great for growth. Your goal for now could be having very healthy and growing ear length hair which will definitely grow down to your neck, shoulders and so forth... You may want to create a post stating you need help with your regimen and what to do, and see what's offered.

Be encouraged! This too will pass...

Thank you for the encouragement. I think I have a good regimen but i just kept getting these setbacks. I tried scalp massages but I wasnt consistent with it. Thanks again for the kind words.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Going through bad setbacks right now. When I first started my journey my left side was only 2 inches long and still is very short and broken. Now the right side some area in the crown, and the nape have broken off. It's so bad sometimes I would look at my hair in the mirror and want to cry.

The parts are growing back just VERY slowly. I am NL right now and will be cutting it to my ears, thats how badly it broke off. I'm wearing wigs for a year and trying not to think about the damage and just focus on something else.

And what broke it off? A stylist brunt my hair with the pressing comb when I was natural, that side stayed broken off for like 3 years now. The others spots were caused my stylists not washing out the perm properly and it broke down to the ng.

I'm trying not be discouraged but it's so hard. I see soooo many women with healthy hair and I just dont understand why this is so hard for me. I havent been SL since I was 14 my hair just keeps breaking off.

My friend says I focus on my hair too much and thats why it's not growing. He's probably right. Since I was 5, I was told how horrible my hair was/is so I guess it has given me a complex..

Thanks for letting me vent.

I just wanted to give you this and tell you to keep working at it. You'll get it right and one day will look back at these trials and laugh as you toss your healthy thick hair over your shoulder.

By the way great thread op! I guess we are more than conquerers. Keep up the good work ladies

 

[jamaicalovely]

I had a setback in May when this crazy stylist cut my hair.

Here I am Aug 9

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Jamaicalovely, Your hair always looks so shiny and soft. I love it!!